Voldemort's job interview: one shot : probably AWFUL, but I needed to cure my writers blockedness, so I apologise in advance :)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own voldemort or any other Harry Potter thing JKR does. :D I love her work.

…...

"NEXT"

the voice from inside the room boomed out, I sat shaking, then it was said again,

"NEXT"

I got up and entered the room, fumbling with my handbag, I took my seat opposite a balding man with a matching handbag! I squealed with delight and said,

"OMG WE HAVE LIKE SOOO THE SAME HANDBAG! MATCHEYS!"

He replied with

"Yes, I see that we do, now, down to business, have you ever worked in a beauty salon before?"

Oh , I'd heard about the dreaded question 'have you ever worked as …... before?' I had to hold my tongue from lying, oh but it was so tempting. I blurted out,

"Um, why yes I have in fact I have been the manager of one."

he said,

"Oh really? Which one?"

Oh come on voldemort, think think of a name, think think think, um GOT IT!

"Voldy's sir."

darn, that sounded better in my head. He simply said:

"I don't think there is a 'Voldy's' around I'm afraid, what did you say your name was again?"

uh oh again, think of a good sensible name, other than LORD VOLDEMORT. Lord Voldemort is too pushy for a job interview, huh, let's see now, uhm, yes, that's it!

"Squiggeledy Fibber"

"I see. Unusual name you have there Mr …. Fibber. Do you fib a lot then?"

Oops

"Oh no sir, not at all actually quite the opposite, I don't fib – or lie for that matter – at all"

Oh dear, if I keep lying my nose might grow like pinnochio's I checked my nose, just in case. Bad move.

"Your checking if your nose has grown longer, aren't you. You've been lying through your teeth this whole interview. What is your REAL name, and what is your REAL profession."

OK, he asked for it.

"Well, my real name is Lord Voldemort, I have been lying through my teeth, I am an extremely evil and powerful dark wizard, and I have killed, em, too many people to count, and you will be one more to add to my collection. You are the weekest link, goodbye. AVADA CADAVRA!"

Oh, I don't think I'll get the job.