Squirtle's Trainer
Chapter
1 – Carnage City
Squirtle rose from his bed and
yawned.
'Another day, another dollar,' he thought. He walked over to his pond for his morning swim. He jumped in and began to backstroke. A Goldeen popped out of the water and said,
"HALLO, MY NAME ARE BEING GOLDEEN!"
"What the...my name is Squirtle. Glad to meet you," Squirtle exclaimed as he stopped swimming.
"SURE
ARE HAVING NICE WEATHER ISN'T IT?"
"Ummmmm... the weather is
nice," Squirtle answered trying to understand Goldeen's grammar.
"LET'S
GO ON A POKÉMON ADVENTURE SO WE CAN CONTINUE THIS HERE FANFIC
WE ARE
LIKELY TO FUN HAVE!"
"Okay, but how will you survive
out of the water?"
"SAME WAY BEING GOLDEEN IN SUPER SMASH
BROTHERS DOES! BY THE WAY COUSIN ARE
BEING HIM YES!"
"What is Super Smash Brothers?" Squirtle asked. Squirtle didn't waste his time playing stupid Nintendo games.
"IT
ARE BEING AN NINTENDO GAME!"
"I'm sorry. I don't waste my
time playing stupid Nintendo games." He got out of the water,
went back to his hut, and put eyeglasses on. He took a book down from
his bookshelf and went back outside to read by the pond side on a
chair. Suddenly,
"POKÉMON ADVENTURE!" It was the last
thing that he heard before blasting off into the distance like Team
Rocket. The next thing he heard was the splashing of water. The water
was in a lake. Squirtle was in the water. A fishing rod was in the
lake. Squirtle swam to surface to see who was fishing.
"ALL RIGHT! AN SQUIRT-AL! I'LL CAPTURE IT!" He spoke like the Goldeen. He threw a Pokeball at Squirtle. Squirtle knew that he could escape easily, but he stayed inside the Pokeball on purpose so he could have an adventure. Big mistake.
"ALL RIGHT! I CAUGHT AN SQUIRT-AL! NOW I GO FIRST BADGE EARN WITH MAY-CHOP AND SQUIRT-AL!" He let Squirtle out of the Pokeball.
"HI
SQUIRT-AL, NICKNAME YOU GOLDEEN I DOES! MY NAME ARE BEING STEPHEN!"
a Goldeen came hurtling down from the sky and hit Stephen on the
head. Stephen fainted, and Goldeen jumped into one of Stephen's
Pokeballs. When Stephen woke up he said,
"WOWS! I CAUGHT ME AN
GOLDEEN!" He let Goldeen out of its Pokeball.
"GOLDEEN,
MY NAME ARE BEING STEPHEN! I NICKNAME YOU BULBASAUR!" He returned
Squirtle, and then turned to return Goldeen. Goldeen refused to go in
the Pokeball.
"OH! YOU NO LIKE POKEBALL?"
"YEAH!"
Goldeen replied, even though Stephen could only hear,
"Goldeen!"
"THAT MUST MEAN YES! I BET SQUIRTLE WANT OUT
ALSO!" He let Squirtle out.
"I really don't care," Squirtle answered reasonably and eloquently.
"THAT MUST MEAN YES! SO GLAD I IS I UNDERSTAND ME POKÉMON! CLOSE EACHOTHER WE ARE! I BET MAY-CHOP WANT OUT ALSO!" He let Machop out, and Machop ran away.
"OH WELL! YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM ALL!"
Squirtle, Stephen, and Goldeen arrived in Carnage City.
"THIS
MUST BE CARNAGE CITY! WHAT'S THAT POKEDEX?" Stephen pulled his
Pokedex out.
Carnage City. Synonyms for carnage: bloodshed,
slaughter, massacre, bloodbath, killing, and butchery.
"THAT
LOVELY! BET I GYM ARE NICE!"
Why did I have to get stuck with
him... The Pokedex groaned. Oh well. All comedy Fics must have a
smart aleck Pokedex!
That night, while Stephen slept in a hotel, the Pokedex and Squirtle laid awake talking.
"Have you ever read 'The Ethics of War and the History of Asian Studies'?" The Pokedex asked Squirtle.
"Yeah!
It was great! However, I prefer 'The postwar Japanese economy and
cultural peace'. It is even better!"
"I've read that!"
They went on talking about likewise scientifical studies, and
Squirtle knew that he had found a new friend.
"THINK POKE CENTER GOING BE I NOW YEAH!" Stephen said. Goldeen signified his agreement by flopping up and down on Stephen's shoulder. He went to the Pokémon Center, and Squirtle followed closely behind. When they walked in, Squirtle saw a Chansey rolling a Pokémon bleeding to death around on a stretcher frantically. It ran to Nurse Joy and gave her a chart.
"Chansey, Chansey!" Chansey said quickly, pointing to the chart.
"Oh,
no! Another injury from the Fatality Gym! Send it to the emergency
room right away!" Chansey ran, pushing the cart down the hallway.
Nurse Joy turned to Stephen and saw his Pokémon.
"The
Fatality Gym leader, Era. D. Cator's Pokémon are very
dangerous! I hope you're not here for a gym battle!"
"OH YES
I ARE!" answered Stephen with a smile. With that he ran off to the
gym. He ran in and shrieked.
"WHERE ARE MY BADGE?" A spotlight shone on the trainer box on the opposite side of Stephen. A person stepped from the darkness into the light.
"Welcome,
welcome. I'm sure you'll enjoy our battle. My Pokémon will
kill you with their killer moves. Two on two Pokémon battle,
no time limit. Prepare to die!"
"BULBASAUR, GO!" Stephen
yelled.
"If you send out Bulbasaur, I may have the joy of watching its bulb burn to ashes with any fire Pokémon! Go level one Charmander, and Ember it so I may see it BURN! BURN! BURRRRRN! BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Charmander appeared in the battle ring. Stephen picked up Goldeen and threw it at Charmander.
"I thought you were sending out Bulbasaur," the gym leader cried.
"DID ME YES, WHAT TALKING ABOUT YOU?" answered Stephen. The Charmander pushed Goldeen off of itself. A bug flew into Goldeen's mouth, and it inadvertently used water gun to spit it out. Goldeen's spit extinguished Charmander's tail flame.
"BUG THAT TAKE YOU!" Goldeen yelled.
"My Charmander may have been defeated, but Kingler shall Guillotine your Pokémon to bits! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!" Era threw a Pokeball revealing Kingler.
"OH WOWS, A KINGLER! WANT OF THOSE ONE DO I! BULBASAUR TACKLE!" Goldeen hopped over to Kingler slowly. It stupidly hopped under Kingler's claws.
"Guillotine, my dear." Era said softly with an evil chuckle. Kingler slammed its pincer down onto Goldeen, causing blood to pour out everywhere. Goldeen had fainted. A Chansey rushed in, and took Goldeen away on a cart.
"GOLDEEN
I IS CHOOSE YOU!!" Stephen threw Squirtle onto Kingler, knocking
Kingler out.
"YAY I EARN MY FIRST BADGE! HUH?" Era wasn't
paying attention, because he had been laughing ever since Goldeen had
been impaled.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-"
AGrilledFish has banned Era. D. Cator from the room (Too much laughing!)
Because Era was banned, Stephen simply walked up to Era's trainer box and took a badge. Stephen ran out onto his path to the next city, completely forgetting about the impaled Goldeen which was named Bulbasaur.
