Title: Can't Let Go
Chapter Title: A Dream
(Fic Series): A Life Worth Living
Fandom: Free!
Pairings: Sousuke/Rin
Rating: T
Warnings: A tiny bit of angst, but all good fun
Summary: Free! Eternal Summer Future Fic
A canon compliant two-shot to explain Sousuke's end scenes in Eternal Summer
Chapter Summary:
"I'll be waiting for you," he said louder, lifting his head to meet Sousuke's gaze. "I'll be waiting for you to come back."
Sousuke's entire body opened up in surprise by those words. He felt his own hope swelling in his chest, but tried to quell it just as quickly as it sprang up. He wanted to make Rin happy, but really what hope was there? And did he even want to go that far for a dream he already accepted as over?
"It figures… That's just what you would say," he breathed, a grin on his lips.
A/N:
I haven't written anything in so long and it's so depressing! I was on such a role but between the flu and family matters I got really behind. I've been sitting on this for a bit, but I decided I like it well enough so I'm going to just post it. I just wanted to give some explanations behind Sousuke's BS ending in Eternal Summer. This kid deserved better.
As always you can find this fic on my ao3 and tumblr accounts
Can't Let Go
Chapter 1: A Dream
Six months. It had been six grueling months of rehabilitation and taking extra good care of his health, but he was finally ready. Well, the doctor said he was ready but Sousuke wasn't so sure. He had mixed feelings about returning to swimming after his six month long ban. He had already been taken off the team's roster, only a member in name. There was no guarantee he could make a comeback, and in a way Sousuke wondered if he didn't feel like that was a blessing in itself.
Rin settled things with the teachers, using the doctor's note of official approval and his title as captain to allow Sousuke access to the pool after practice hours, but Sousuke felt an inexplicable amount of guilt because of it. He couldn't quite place why, but he felt as though he was cheating Rin somehow. He felt as though he was ruining something for him.
The first few times in the pool went alright. He didn't go fast, just getting his shoulder to accept the rotation of the front crawl. It was easier on him than he had originally thought. At first his speed was leisurely, but as his practices continued he experimented with going at faster paces. He even tried butterfly, and was successful without much strain, though he couldn't get himself out of the water to the same extent. Dull aches always stopped him from continuing, even if the ache to race Rin was stronger.
Rin always accompanied him when he was swimming, and they spent most of their time enjoying it together. It was uncomfortable at first, in the same way new experiences often are. New and unusual, but not entirely unpleasant. It was odd swimming to enjoy each other's company without making it a competition, but Sousuke found that he liked it a lot. It felt surreal. It felt like Sousuke really didn't need to be a competitor to gain Rin's attention.
Since the start of their relationship Sousuke found himself at the center of Rin's attention multiple times. It left a tingling sensation in his finger tips and the back of his neck, sometimes it'd even make him shiver. He could get Rin's attention without prompt or reason, without any conscious effort on his part. It was such a surprisingly new sensation he couldn't but help to be giddy and excited by it.
However, the more they swam together the more Sousuke wished back for some of his ability to pass out of Rin's thoughts. His best friend had always worn his heart on his sleeve, but that hardly made him transparent. You could read him like a good book, even if it was clear what it meant you'd always miss something else. You could reread him again and again and always find something new, something you didn't catch before. But there was no missing the underlining look of pain and longing. Rin liked swimming with him, he knew this, but he liked it too much. It was clearest when Sousuke attempted swimming at his original pace.
A sinking feeling settled in his stomach every time he thought about it. He wanted Rin to let go, he wanted Rin to feel how he felt about it. The pain of no longer being on the Olympian track didn't hurt the way he thought it would. It was an out of body pain, something separate him. He could get over it.
Still, no words were said about the subject and like that they passed the rest of their high school days. As time went on Sousuke found the feeling of anxiety caused by Rin's worries outweighing the anxiety of his uncertain future. Between the two Sousuke's stomach was a gross mess and his appetite halved. Food didn't taste like much more than a burden when his stomach was too focused on what might happen. Too busy worrying on what Rin might say or do.
His suspicions became reality after their last swim practice. Rin had offered Sousuke time to swim once more before the third years officially retired, but he declined, though he did go back to gaze out at the pool he spent a year enjoying. A year with Rin. It was one of the happiest years of his life, if he was to be honest. His reminiscing was cut short when he remembered that he had to return to Rin's side before he was done talking to the couch, but he beat him to it.
There he was, standing in front of him in all of his young beauty and awkwardness. His eyes focused on Sousuke intently before falling to the tiled floor, holding back something, something he's been meaning to say. He was surprised to see Rin standing there at the exit, but to say he wasn't expecting it would be only a half-truth.
"Rin."
"Who says your shoulder can't be healed?" His voice was barely above a whisper, but carried well in the empty room. Sousuke felt himself shake from the inside out, anxiety growing.
"Huh?"
"So what if it's wrecked? Don't crush your own potential before you even try." Rin frowned, fist tightening. Sousuke felt a breath leave him. He knew it. Rin couldn't let go of that hope, that dream, and swimming together had only nurtured its growth.
"I'll be waiting for you," he said louder, lifting his head to meet Sousuke's gaze. "I'll be waiting for you to come back."
Sousuke's entire body opened up in surprise by those words. He felt his own hope swelling in his chest, but tried to quell it just as quickly as it sprang up. He wanted to make Rin happy, but really what hope was there? And did he even want to go that far for a dream he already accepted as over?
"It figures… That's just what you would say," he breathed, a grin on his lips. He looked up out the large glass windows. Purple and orange clouds decorated the evening sky. Absently he wondered if Rin would hate him for making another decision solely based on what he thought would make Rin happiest.
"Well, I'll give it some thought."
