I own nothing although I would love to keep the Merry Men. Thanks for reading.
Warning: Language
Standing Up
My name is Stephanie Michelle Plum, soon to be Manoso. I was 5'7", 125 lbs (depending on the donuts) with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I was so in love with my Batman. Batman is also known as Ricardo Carlos Manoso aka Ranger. He is 6', well muscled with mocha latte skin and long black hair. He proposed to me last night and I said yes. I have been working for my cousin Vinnie the perv (don't ask what he did with that duck ewww) for about three years as a bounty hunter and I'm done. I'm going to work at Ranger's company, Rangeman, full time. At least there they didn't talk about me, use me, insult me, etc like Connie and Lula at the bonds office do.
I walked into the bonds office and sat down on the couch and just waited.
Lula looked at me and around the office, "White girl, where's the donuts?"
Connie looked up from her nail polish, "Yeah Steph, and the coffee?"
I sighed; I guess it was time, "I'm quitting the bonds office to work at Rangeman full time."
I listened as Connie and Lula started yelling at me about being a bad friend, being unqualified, being a sell out, etc, etc.
I finally had enough, "Silence. Both of you mooch off me all the time. I can be struggling for rent money but the both of you expect me to buy breakfast and lunch for you both. You both try to hook me up with random men. I'm not the two of you, I'm picky. I'll have you know that I have a Bachelor's degree in business, so how am I not qualified to work at Rangeman? I also have years of customer service experience. How am I not qualified?"
I stopped to get an answer from them. Connie was speechless but never Lula.
She cleared her throat, "White girl, you mess up a lot. You're clumsy. We don't mooch off ya."
"Bullshit!" I hollered, "You mooch all the time claiming I owe you. I owe no one. I'm not clumsy. Most of the time when something happens, you're with me. Both of you are mooches, gossips, easy."
Connie looked at me, "We are not. We are good people."
I smiled, "I will agree that you are both good people but very, very misguided."
Vinnie came out at that point, "What the hell is going on out here? Why the hell aren't all of you working? Get to work."
I smiled gleefully; I had been waiting for this, "Vinnie, a word with all of you. I quit. I quit this rat hole place filled with mooches with highly questionable morals and standards. I have never seen another business that has been run in such an ass backwards manner that is still in business. There is no excuse for anything that goes on here, no excuse at all. Bad management, judgmental staff, more gossip than a high school, faker than Pamela Anderson's boobs. I can't believe that anyone would work here for any length of time. A person would have to have no standards or be beyond desperate to work here, to deal with the management, to deal with the gossip, to deal with the back stabbing, to deal with the employees that have less brains than a turkey, to deal with the staff and management that have looser morals than Snooki. I'm done, I'm out. So long, farewell, and fuck off."
I gave them all the Star Trek 'Live long and prosper' sign and walked out the door.
End
