Disclaimer: I do not own the Vampire Diaries and it's respectable characters in anyway, nor the t.v. series or the book series. L.J. Smith and the creators of the show do.

Summary: Damon's thought's in the incident of The Return.

Author's Note: I originally had the Katherine scene in here but I took it out. Maybe I will publish it on here on the side? Who knows. Anyways I hope you like this and I just had to write it, I'd been listening to the song and I had to write something...I found the scene so sad! I feel bad for Damon and Elena. Poor Damon has had his heart stabbed twice! Obviously he was bound to lash out in an attempt to find solace, remember his emotions are intensified as a Vampire, his actions were not acceptable but he was pressed with so much pain and hurt it clouded everything.

Anyways! I hope you enjoy the reading this I had really got into or immersed myself in this. I actually began to relive or 'resee' (it I mean.) this scene again.

P.S This is best listened to with Come Home by One Republic featuring Sara Bareilles.


Damon stared into the blazing fire in front of him, the embers creating a soft dim glow.

As he sat there and stared into the fire blazing in the cool stone fireplace, pain consumed his interior. The pain and hurt was cancerous in his immortal body.

He wished he could salve the hugely tremendous wound inside of him that grew larger, manifested further inside as the minutes went by. The wound seemed to be coupled with a burning sensation that filtered into his bloodstream; the distinct burning sensation was akin to the feeling of Vervain inside of him.

He was broken inside, his silent heart shattered like the remains of the crystal liquor glass that he had vaulted at the fireplace's walls minutes ago. At this point Damon doubted he could pick up the fragments of himself that reflected into the remains of the crystal goblet.

He was unwanted, hated, he was alone.

Rejected, Katherine had toyed with him again. Damon had fallen into one of her traps, her games and subjected, submitted to her. Letting himself become that vulnerable feeling person with her, not thinking about the consequences, the possibilities of getting burned.

She had uttered words that made something inside of him shatter, he felt even now.

The truth is…I never loved you.

It was always Stefan.

It had always been his little brother. Damon had only been her tools of pleasure, something to play with. Stefan had garnered Katherine's affections even if he didn't want them now. Even if he had someone better, someone unlike that selfish, manipulative bitch.

He had Elena.

What's worse is that Katherine had spoke those words with a blank expression, unfeeling even. She had said those words as if it didn't matter. What served only to make things far worse is that she hadn't even dealt the worse damage. Sure she had dealt out a great deal of damage but the second time pained him the most.

It was all he could really think about, the most he could think about.

His mind unwilling replayed the events, that defining moment.


He heard her clattering around in the next room, conjoined to her bedroom. Damon didn't even make a gesture or effort to move from his spot from the bed.

He kept staring at something far away, wallowing in his sadness and pain.

Footsteps drifted to his sensitive ears however he didn't look up.

Damon heard her stop and a gasp escape her lips as shock and relief laced her tone. "Oh god…You scared me." A rush of air emitted from her lips.

Damon glanced at her briefly, seeing her clutching the dark sweater in her right hand.

Sluggishly he turned back, looking at the wall blankly. "Just doing my part, in the neighborhood watch."

Elena passed him and another sigh left her lips, sincerely she replied back to him "Thanks…for um…looking out for us, for me."

With his eyes still locked onto that spot on the wall as he spoke to her, a tiny bit of sarcasm seeping into his already slurred, emotionless tone, a soft gush of air leaving his lips. "That's me, the trusty body guard…calm in a crisis." Damon lifted his arm and sluggishly swept his hand out.

Questioningly Elena answered back sounding concerned. "Have you been drinking?"

Damon glanced up to her lazily and with drunken movements he lifted a hand sluggishly and pinched his thumb and fore finger together as his eyes lazily began to half lid and close momentarily as his lips pursed. He was trying to convey the message of 'just a little' to her.

His hand slumped down onto his knee as he looked away.

Elena spoke again sounding even more concerned. "And you're upset. That's not a good combination."

Damon groaned and rolled his eyes briefly as he spoke his words slurred further. "No I'm not upset; upset is an emotion specific to those who care."

Elena sounded as if she doubted that statement, incredulity was evident in her tone. "C'mon Damon. That's a lie, you care." She sent him a knowing look.

Instantly at the sound of those words he found himself sobering up, anger striking him, entering his body. He looked at her with narrowed eyes and anger clouded features, his lips parted as his jaw set in defiance.

Elena's eyebrows furrowed slightly at his expression.

He couldn't believe she had just spouted that, tried to sell him that spiel. He wasn't the liar in here; he wasn't the one who denied what was going on between the two of them.

He knew as he spoke anger colored his tone. "You're surprised that I thought you would kiss me back? You can't imagine that I'd believe you'd want to?"

He could hear the slight pleading in her tone as she interjected with a warning using only his name. "Damon." He wouldn't have any of it; he was going to say what he wanted to. She need to get over this denial phase of hers, wake up and smell the coffee. It hurt him every time she denied it, or ignored what was going on between them, especially when she lied about it.

Damon couldn't put up with the hurt that the touchy, couple moments between her and his brother wreaked on him any longer, he couldn't take another minute of her denying over and over again what was happening right now.

Somewhere in the recesses of his mind in a dark, dark and deep corner he knew he should just leave now, because this whole situation was unstable…anything could happen at this point and he'd rather it be not something he would regret.

Damon's anger was building up quickly; he felt it warming his blood as he continued. "That what we've been doing here means something?" He paused and took in her expression, her infuriating expression of disbelief and shock at the intensity of his words.

Venom filled laced his tone as his anger started to overflow and his body craved an output for his frustration. His anger filled expression deepened. "You're the liar Elena."

Her face tilted in disbelief and some irritating expression he couldn't bother to name. "There is something going on here between the two of us and you know it."

He arose from his sitting position his blood boiling and he desperately needed to tell her, convey to her to believe, to stop denying what was going on between them. She backed away with every step he took as vulnerability glimmered in his eyes. "And you're lying to me and you're lying to Stefan and most of all you're lying to yourself."

Elena looked doubtful, the expression only urged him on to prove it to her. He quelled the anger in his tone as he softly spoke to her. "I can prove it."

With a shift of his foot he neared her form and cupped the back of her head, A quick "No" passed her lips sharply.

Swiftly he captured her lips. His eyes closed as he felt bliss of his lips on hers, this is what it should have felt like, this feeling in him was more intense than it had been on the porch with her doppel ganger. He was getting too emotional, too attached.

Everything was changing right there, a fiery emotion punched him in the gut but he ignored the sensation. The feelings he already had for her were growing stronger, he could feel it.

The only thing he needed from Elena was for her to kiss him back.

To admit that she felt something, to even discard the shield of denial.

Elena protested and murmured out a quick "No." it only sounded muffled against their joined lips.

Her hands brushed Damon's faced, grasped his hands trying to pull them away from her. She looked for another opening and slid her hands under Damon's chin, keeping it there as she tried to convey him to stop.

When Damon pulled away a mixture between a sigh and soft breath passed his lips. He could only stare into her warm, chocolate brown eyes and get lost in them until her voice dragged him out of that trance. With a concerned expression with mingled hints of shock she answered him back; her voice showed him her concern and shock. "Damon don't, what's wrong with you?" Her hand still rested at the base of his neck, underneath his chin.

His hands lifted and slid into her tresses again, planted gently at the sides of her head.

He wouldn't have her deny the kiss, he needed her to accept this, accept the fact that she had feelings for him, more than friendly feelings. He simply uttered as he leaned in again. "Lie about this."

Elena stopped him and leant back, she spoke in a rush, pleading and anxious. "Stop it, you're better than this. Come on."

She was denying it and Damon wouldn't have it, he'd show her, convince her into accepting and to stop lying to herself. "That's where you're wrong." He leaned again, coming so close.

Yet Elena intercepted it with moving her head back and placing her hand on Damon's mouth gently as the other free hand gripped his shoulder pushing him back. Elena pleaded further. "No, no, Damon. I care about you." His hand rested against her neck, weaving into her hair.

She grabbed his hands keeping them in place but wrapping her fingers intricately through his as both their heads tilted slightly. "Listen to me, I care about you." Her voice grew more insistent.

She continued on as Damon curled his fingers to wrap around hers as he hugged them against him by just a little. "I do but…I love Stefan, it's always going to be Stefan." She pleaded with him, concern filling her eyes she was trying to get him to realize that but he only broke inside further, the pain he felt was worse this time.

He felt his face contort into an angry, hurt filled expression.

He was alone, unwanted.

Everyone wanted Stefan.

No one wanted Damon.

Suddenly Jeremy's wondering tone reached his ears and he turned to look at the sullen and slightly drowsy Gilbert. "Elena what's going on in here?" With crossed arms he entered the room look wary.

Elena roughly extracted her hands from his and looked away while answering Jeremy's question. "Nothing Jeremy, its okay just go back to bed." She ran her fingers through her hair.

Damon felt an strong impulse to vent his frustrations and as he saw the glint of a ring and recognized the familiar intricate symbols etched and embellished into it, he had found his outlet.

He had lost control, his head clouded with pain, sadness, hurt and something inside of him was shattered. He knew though about what he was going to do, he was going to lash out on the poor kid. "No, it's not okay Elena. He wants to be a vampire."

As Jeremy tilted his head in wary question he felt that last of his control slip away. In a blur he had Jeremy pinned against the wall, one hand cradling the side of his head and the other hand around his throat as he struggled futilely.

"No Damon don't! Stop it!" He ignored Elena's pleading and focused on what was happening in front of him.

Every word he spoke grew more intense, he bit it out more and he only seethed more. "You want to shut out the pain? It's the easiest thing in the word, all you have to is flip the switch and…snap" As he spoke the last word a sickening snap resonated off the walls.

"Damon!" Jeremy's limp body dropped to the ground with a thump.

"No!" Elena fell to her knees onto the ground as she cried out.

As Damon backed away everything quieted to his ears, all he could see was Elena's grief stricken face.

Ragged, strained sobs left her emitted, from her as breathy gasps and unspilled tears graced her.

She looked up at him as he passed the door frame.

In her eyes, hurt, betrayal and then he saw the stirrings of disgust and hate in her eyes.

Regret, he felt it hit him full force.

He had done the wrong thing.

Damon quickly left, the last look she had given him etched into his mind.


Damon covered his face with his hand.

It had been bad judgment on his part, extremely bad judgment.

He had hurt her and he hurt just knowing that fact.

He knew she must probably hate him now.

How could she forgive him now, he didn't even think he would forgive himself.

In a bout of anger he had done something so stupid, so childish…but those word's she had said were practically identical to Katherine's. Elena had wounded him the most.

I love Stefan, it's always going to be Stefan

A groan of frustration passed his lips.

Stefan, Stefan, Stefan, Stefan!

Am I to be alone for the rest of eternity?

Stefan will always have someone, who will I have?

All I want is Elena right now.

The pain rushed into him again, he stiffened as it consumed him hopelessly.

But she doesn't want me.

She wants Stefan.

And I've just royally screwed up this time, royally.

I can't take this anymore, this pain, this hurt, this turmoil.

The switch, I need to flip it right now.

It'll be better this way.

With quick ease he flipped the 'switch' inside of him and as he looked into the blazing fire everything melted away and he welcomed the emptiness enveloping him.

The pain laced with what felt like the burning of a drop of Vervain dissipated.

For now he would stay like this, it was for the best.


Author's note: I hope you liked it!

P.S. I hope anyone isn't out of character in here, especially Damon!

Should I write another chapter with Elena's point of view or should I do both or even just post the Katherine segment I cut out?