It's Hard Holding Down

Chapter One: Been Through It All

I'm listening to the radio as I hum Lollipop to myself and think about everything I've been through with him. I've been there for him when no one else was there. Everyone said he would never make it big but he did. I'm so proud of him but sometimes it's hard being his girlfriend when I hardly see him. The door open and I heard those familiar footsteps and I laid in the bed waiting for him. "Zariyanna, come here girl" he said. I ran to him and jumped in his arms. "Baby… you don't know how much I missed you this time. It's been crazy." "I know, I know but I'm going to be home for a month so let's make up for lost time." he said smiling. I could tell he was a little high. He gave me the juiciest kiss and pulled me close to him. We didn't say anything, we just let our bodies talk. "Damn, ma you missed me that much?" he said. "Yes… I did so shut up and give me sum dick!" I said giggling. "Oh, you calling orders now?" "Yes, Dwayne Carter… I'm calling the orders." "Alright" he said. We didn't make it to the bedroom we were on the dining room table making love. I loved when we made love. He make my body quiver all over and I screamed his name over and over. After it was all said and done he went to take a shower and I fixed us something to eat. His sidekick LX kept going off but I didn't pay it any mind. Then it started getting on my nerves so I checked it. He had a text from his daddy talking about a new song. Then I saw a bunch of text from different chicks. I didn't want to get in his business but I was intrigued. I read the first girl text. "I miss you daddy Are you still at home playing hubby? Come see me later" I was getting upset. Why does he always mess with these hood rats. I put his phone down and he came out the shower. He hugged me from behind. "I missed you Zee…" he said kissing my face and on my neck. I moved away. "What's wrong?" he said trying to seem concerned. "Nothing" I snapped. "You were fine a few minutes ago." "Just leave me alone Dee." "Bae…. Tell me what's wrong? I don't like to see my wifey mad." "Your sidekick has been ringing since you were in the shower." I said. Then he knew I had found out like I always do. But I love him too much to leave. Hoping one day he will leave them bitches alone. "Baby, they don't mean anything to me. You know that I'm in love with you" he said. I was cutting my sandwich in half. I put the knife in the sink and sat on the couch. "Why do you have to do your shyt out in the open?" I said rolling my eyes. Whatever he was going to say I didn't care. "Bae… come here… come to daddy. I love you girl. Fuck them hoes. I found who I'm looking for. Will you smile for me? Please?" I tried my hardest not to smile but I did. He got in between my legs and started kissing me. "Tell daddy.. How much you missed him" he said whispering in my ear while kissing on my neck. He immediately found my spot and I started moaning. He bit me hard. I still liked it. "I missed you a lot" I said biting my lip. We had sex again on the counter and then he laid me on my stomach on the kitchen table and we fucked on the table too. We had sex for hours. I finally went to sleep at 7 in the morning. When I woke up to go to the bathroom he was gone. I laid back down and I was awoken by the doorbell. I went to the door. "Who is it?" "Toya" she said. It was Dwayne's baby mama. I opened the door. "Hey girl" she said. "Hey" I said. We went into the living room. She had Reginae with her. "Hey mama" I said. "So what's good?" I said. "Nothing, just chillin and stuff. I need a favor though." "Yeah, I'll keep her for the weekend." "Thanks.. I'm going to Atlanta for the weekend with my boyfriend so you know how that goes." "Who Jon ?" "Hell nah, I didn't tell you about my new boo?" "No…." "We been broke up! I go with Trey Songz now." "What? How you meet him?" "My friend Taliva is mad cool with him. She introduced me to him." "Why she didn't take him?" "That's her cousin" "Oh" I said laughing. "You look refreshed? How long has he been here?" I laughed. "Since last night" "I can tell… I remember those days. When he would come back from a tour or something. That's the best sex ever. But umm how long he going to be home?" "A month!" "What?" "Oh we all got to party together" "Right… I don't think he's going to like Trey" "Fuck what he like!" she laughed. I was enjoying my drink and chilling. I was feeling good. "Reginae!" she yelled. "Yes?" Reginae said. "You staying at daddy's this weekend." "Where he at?" she looking around. "He be home later" "Okay" "Did Shavon get up yet?" I said. "Yeah, she's still in the bed" "Alright" I said. "Well, I got to go. I love you Nay. Thanks so much Zari" she hugged her daughter and left. Everything wasn't like it is now. I used to have beef with Toya a long time ago over Dee. She claim I broke up a happy home. But it was already broken up before I stepped in the picture. Everyone knows that. So when she used to drop Nay off she wouldn't even come in the house or anything. But one day we just patched things up because it was tearing up the family. I went in Shavon's room. "Von, you up yet?" "I'm tired" she said. Shavon was my daughter. I had her way before I met Dee or even knew him. My nine year old thinks she knows everything but whatever. Dee came home. "Daddy!" Nay screamed. He picked her up. He was high as fuck. I hated that shyt. "Hey princess.. I got you something." he said. Nay was so ecstatic to see her father. "I got you and Shavon some toys, clothes, and shoes." I guess he felt bad and went shopping for them. "It's in the living room." he said. They ran in the living room. "Thanks bae.. For buying Shavon things." "It's nothing.. She's like a daughter to me." I smiled because of his kindness. "I got you some things I want you to wear for me tonight" he said kissing me. "It's in our room" he said. I went to go see what he bought me and I was overjoyed with excitement. He knew exactly what I wanted. "Thanks" I smiled. Even though I was eating up inside. I had a bad feeling things were going to get bad soon.