A/N rewrite of the scene in the Rovers back yard on Carla's hen night/day
I just want to tell you nothing you don't want to hear. All I want is for you to say, 'why don't you just take me where I've never been before?' I know you want to hear me catch my breath. I love you till the end.
Carla is shocked as his words rush around her mind. Scattered letters and words that seem impossible for her to comprehend. Her nearly husband-to-be's eyes darken to a shade of almost black and it sends a shiver down every limb of her fragile body.
She finds herself shaking in his presence, but a pair of familiar fingers lace in her own and everything has a reason once again.
She had told him only minutes before, as his hands caressed her cheeks that she wanted to believe his loving declarations. She had told him without words that she was more frightened than she had ever felt in her entire existence. Even as she buried her husband into the rot ridden ground she had never felt this terrified of what was to become of her.
The courtyard of a backstreet pub provided no shelter for their private meetings and once again they were so nearly discovered. He almost gave the game away and she surprised herself by stopping him. If he had spilled their love to his younger sister and her best friend then maybe their emotions would be free. They would no longer be enclosed in this box of emptiness.
She had stepped between them and begged him with her eyes not to give away everything they had fought so hard to build. But now as her fiancé stands in front of them the decision is instantly taken away from her.
He watched as her eyes gaze from one to the other, ablaze with fear. He can't stand to see her in any pain and he thinks his heart will shatter if he cannot make it better soon.
The words had been simple and they fell from his lips in a careless manner, his love for her completely effortless. "Carla and I, we're in love" That was all it had taken to lead them here. And now as Tony's eyes glittered dangerously in the sun he felt his heart beat faster and his legs become weaker.
Tony's pleas had done nothing for Carla, expect perhaps convince her of his underlying evil even more. But she felt paralysed by him, unable to move as his eyes lingered threateningly over the body he once claimed as his.
She feels like a lost child all over again. Frightened by the monster that hides under your bed while you sleep at night. But Tony didn't hide behind her nightmares. He was everywhere, consuming her. He was more than the monsters from her past because he was here and now and she knew behind his warm facade that he could bring her crashing down in an instant.
He tells her that he knows what she is feeling for Liam is not as true as what she feels for him. He whispers as close to her as Liam will allow that he will forgive her subterfuge if she comes home with him now. Her heart shouts at her to tell him just how right their 'subterfuge' felt and that they had even had subterfuge in the wedding dress she was due to marry him in. But her head tells her to stay quiet and her gaze fall to the floor.
Liam's eyes flicker over to hers as if he is questioning everything he had so strongly believed in. He breaks her heart and goes to squeeze his hand reassuringly before realising with a heavy heart that she had already let it go.
She looks at Tony and sees all he can offer her. A home and everything she could ever need, at least to the naked eye. He would give her his love but that was a love that had become so bruising, she knew she'd surely suffocate. And it would forever be unrequited. He would never make her stomach flip or fill her heart with warmth.
She had been given the choice now. For once in her tiresome life she is in the driving seat. She can stay. She can let the sparks in her life extinguish, spark by irreplaceable spark. She can flounder minutes from the finishing line, turn away when the end is in sight as her soul perishes at the thought of what could have been. She can suffer in lonely hell at the frustration for all that she deserved.
Or she can pick up the pace. She can kick and fight and let her tired legs carry her forward as she steams ahead towards the only future she would ever need.
Carla thinks that everyone is entitled to feel fear, but it's what you do with that emotion that makes it count. Either it takes you away from all you ever had. Or you turn it to your advantage. You use it and change that irrational fear of falling to the courage to be happier than you ever imagined.
When she looks at Liam she sees all she stands to leave behind and the betrayal of the lost husband she still loves so dearly flashes before her. But her heart flutters uncontrollably and all she feels when she looks past the surface is an undying, irreplaceable, passionate love.
Her mind flickers to a past moment briefly. She's back in the bedroom of the flat she shares with Tony. But it isn't his hands that embrace her in a loving hug and he is not the reason for the first genuine smile that dances on her lips in a very long time. Liam leans over and places a tender kiss on her forehead. He whispers in her ear, breathing still heavy from their previous encounter. "I'll love you till the end"
Back in reality and words escape her unlike they ever have before. But she feels more alive than ever. Her hand suddenly reaches to grip his, fingers linking into one. Her head turns to face him, eyes burning into his. "Till the end, right?"
He nods his head instantly, body alive with love. He is pulled by a tug on his hand as she pulls him though the pub, running away from all they have ever known. Tony's angry shouts echo through the air and float off into distance as they run, still hand in hand like a pair of teenagers.
Neither of them knew where they were headed or what would become of them. But together they had taken the fear of all that could have been and moulded it into all that they thought should have been and now it really would be. And they knew that in this life of unknown, that was all that really mattered.
