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A Typical Day

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Sunlight cascaded through my windows and it cast itself directly onto my face, jolting me awake from my sleep. I yawned and checked the watch. It was as fairly early, only 11 a.m., considering that I was home by 4 a.m. the previous night.

Finally managing to get myself out of bed, I pulled back the curtains and the city view of Tokyo came into my sight. A few wisps of smoke could be seen at places where the Kekkai had been destroyed, but other than that, the city bustled with life as if nothing ever happened.

Life had to go on, even as the world was struggling on the brink of destruction. You could never stop the sun from rising in the east, could you? There are some things that never change, like the second hand ticking away happily on the clock, so in a way, each day is the same.

It was a typical day.

I was out of the house about an hour later. I could have chosen to stay home, since my night shift only started at 5 p.m., but I didn't want to be alone in the quiet room. The peace would only suffocate me, because instead of calming me, it would only remind me that how utterly alone I was.

But it wasn't much better in the streets also. I met some of the people I knew, and greeted them, but in fact, they were no more than machines that could only smile, in my opinion. What would they say to you, other than the things they thought that you want ed to hear? Only a fool would speak what was truly on his mind nowadays. I was no fool, but I envied them. At least they dared to fight against the restraints of the society, which was brain-washing us all. So who was the fool after all?

I let my feet carry me to anywhere they wanted, and it was a s if I was drifting, like the algae in the pond with no roots to hold it down. It always moved with the crowd, but it was also the most solitary, in a sense that it only depended on others for survival, but never for a reason to survive.

Then at 12.30 p.m., the sparsely dotted streets suddenly because overcrowded, as people rushed out of their offices for lunch, like children in schools who could hardly wait for the bell to ring. I glanced up at my surroundings, and found myself beneath the Asuka building.

I smiled bitterly to myself. How I wished my feet would stop doing this to me.

"Ah! Karen-san!" I turned around and saw Seiichirou waving and running towards me, with a smile so cheerful that it bordered on naivety. I stopped and waited fro him, despite my impulse to turn and bolt.

"What brings you here today? Don't you have work --- oh! You're working night shift today, aren't' you? Care to join me for lunch?"

"Sure, it's my pleasure." I smiled, even more cheerfully than usual. It was as if a smile had been pasted onto my face twenty-four-seven, and I no longer recognized other expressions. It was good this way, in a sense that whenever people saw a smile on your face, they didn't bother to look deeper anymore.

I looked at Seiichirou, who was happily chatting away, as we walked to a nearby café. He, like all the other people, hadn't picked up anything from my smiles. That was how things should be, but I was hoping that maybe he would be different, and maybe he could see through the mask . . . No, I wasn't supposed to hope. I wasn't allowed to hope.

"Karen-san, I don't know why, but I keep getting this feeling that today is a special day, and something is supposed to happen . . ." He said with a thoughtful expression, "Do you know any special occasion that falls on today?"

My heart skipped a beat. No, it wasn't possible. I laughed casually and replied, "Not that anything I can think of. But don't give it too much thought, or else a Kekkai will come crashing down the next moment and it will really become a special day." No, I couldn't tell. It would not do either of us any good.

He laughed along good-naturedly, but suddenly frowned, "Is there something wrong? You don't seem yourself today."

So he picked it up after all. But so what?

"Your imagination is running wild today, Aoki-san." Just then, his cell phone rang.

"Hello? Yes, Shimako, what is it?" then his expressions turned dead serious. "Call the hospital first. Be calm, everything's going to be all right. I'll be there in a minute."

Family affairs. Another thing that was totally foreign to me. He quickly threw a few bills on the table and grabbed his coat.

"I'm sorry, Karen-san, but Yuka-chan has run a high fever, and I'll have to get home now." He apologized hastily, anxiety written all over his face. Such a caring father.

"I hope that she gets well soon." But it would be quite a miracle if he heard me, since he was already out of the café. I wasn't lying when I wished Yuka-chan well, yet in the same time, I envied her. She had something I never had, and never will have. It was a strange mixture of jealousy and good intentions. I didn't think that the two could go together.

But I couldn't pretend that it didn't hurt, when he left without a second glance at me, and I despised myself for my selfishness. I had no right to feel that even.

Yet the moment he turned his back towards me, I felt like a stranger in this world all over again.

I arrived at Flower 5 p.m. sharp, and changed into my "working attire". Minutes later, I was called for by some customers, the usual group of middle-aged businessmen. They could lonely see me smile. They only bothered to see me smile.

Honestly speaking, I never did like my job, but after so many years, the time itself was enough to numb all my discomforts. Anyway, how many choices did a high-school graduate like me have? It wasn't as if I could afford going to the university, and it was hard to find a job even if you had a masters, so what choices did I have? Nobody does this because they want to; it was because they had no choice.

The time of nothingness finally passed, as I stepped out of Flower at 11.30 p.m. it was a weekday, so there were not many customers. Yet even so, I felt as if my hands were numb, and that my body was made of wood. I couldn't wait for a bath, to wash the grime of those men off my body. I would rather fall into a trash dump, if it could still pay me the same wages as now. Money couldn't buy everything, but without money, you are nothing.

The streets of Tokyo were particularly busy at night, when the night market flourished and neon lights shone blaringly on every building. The streets were flooded with people, either in groups or pairs.

I walked through the crowd, letting the joy and energy of others bury me, suffocate me. Only in the crow could I hide how pathetically alone I really way. It was a time when I would feel as if my whole being was hollow, as if I didn't exist, because out of the thousands of smiles people wore on their faces, none of them was for me.

Lifting my head, I tried looking at the stars, because there used to be a saying that the stars will always be winking at you, smiling at you. But all I saw was neon lights.

The stars had disappeared.

I opened the door to my apartment, then tipped off my shoes. The clock read 11.55 p.m.

"Tadaima, Paul," I greeted as I lifted my teddy bear off the chair, then sat down amid the darkness of the room. He was the only thing that was left of my childhood. I gently grazed my fingers over his soft and worn fur.

"Looks like only you and I will be celebrating my birthday this year, again, isn't it, Paul?"

I smiled into the brilliant night view of Tokyo. It was a typical day after all.

....................................Owari..................................

Shimako: Seiichirou's wife

Yuka: Seiichirou's daughter