Tonks studied her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She looked horrible. She ran her fingers through her dull mousy hair and then squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated harder than she ever had before. Her scalp tingled for a moment but she knew that she'd failed. Her hair was not the vibrant bubblegum pink like she wanted it to be. She knew why.
Tonks went back to bed and buried her head under the pillow. She had been accused of being obsessive and often times she had to admit that it was true. When she was a young girl and still learning how to change her appearance, she was obsessed with changing her ears. Every day she managed to find a different pair to try out.
When she was in school she was obsessed with her grades. She wanted to prove to everyone that she could become an Auror if it was the last thing she did. Every year around exam time she had the problem she was having now. She couldn't change anything about her appearance at will because she was too stressed over grades.
But this wasn't about school or work or even the Order of the Phoenix. This was about something else; something she swore would never happen to her. She punched the pillow in frustration. How could she have let a man affect her this way? All of Molly's assurances that this was only natural didn't help. She didn't want to want him. She didn't want to hear any more of his excuses. She played them over and over again in her mind.
"I'm too old."
"I'm a werewolf for Merlin's sake!"
"You deserve better."
"The Order is more important right now."
A tear slipped down her face. This was worse than obsession. This was love.
A glowing light caught her attention. A patronus had floated through the window. It was his German Sheppard. It sat down at the side of her bed and opened its mouth. Remus's voice filled the room and just hearing the familiar sound soothed an ache deep inside her.
"Phoenix meeting at six. Twelve Grimmauld Place. Come early. I want to see you."
Her heart pounded inside her chest. He wanted to see her? Did she dare to hope?
She ran back to the bathroom and looked in the mirror again and squeezed her eyes shut. This had never been so difficult before. But just imagining his face as he said the words, "I want to see you" was all she needed to lift her spirits. She looked in the mirror to see her hair was no longer mousy and dull. It was his favorite bubblegum pink. She shook her head.
He had no clue what he did to her.
Damn werewolf.
