These fics were written for the ongoing fic battle in the Milady/Milord LJ community. There are two prompts posted per week & you have to keep the fic under 500 words.
Disclaimer: I don't own Community.
PROMPT 01: 'I found this when I was cleaning out my locker.'
Greendale Is Where You Belong
"Have you got any more popcorn?" Annie asked Jeff as she joined him in the kitchen. "The movie gave Pierce a fright and he threw it everywhere like confetti."
Jeff frowned as he pointed Annie towards a cupboard. "How the hell did he get scared watching The Avengers?"
"I don't know, something about Thor looking like one of his ex-wives."
"Ahh yes, blond, bulky and bearded, just his type."
Annie settled against the bench. "Any reason why you're hiding out in here instead of enjoying movie night with us? I thought the plan was to relax and unwind after graduation."
"It was. And I am." He concentrated on the plate of food in front of him.
"Then why are you making the nachos one corn chip at a time? Are you counting the calories as you go?"
"Maybe I just find nacho construction soothing."
"Jeff."
Sighing, Jeff wiped his hands on a towel and opened a drawer, fishing out a folded piece of paper. "I found this when I was cleaning out my locker the other day." He handed it to Annie to read.
"Dear Jeff," she spoke out loud, "as if it weren't enough that you're an inconsiderate jerk, you have this idea that you're better than everyone here. Newsflash, dick, everyone here is better than you. Kim. P.S. you have stupid hair." Annie glanced up at Jeff. "Is this a lost letter from our friend Jane Austen?"
"Yep," Jeff replied, taking a sip of whiskey. "I also found a crushed flier for what appeared to be a dance movie themed dance I never attended, so obviously I'm super bummed about that too."
Annie regarded him curiously. "Why are you letting this get to you? You knew what Kim's beef was and you talked it out."
"I know."
"… Please tell me this isn't about your hair," she said, rolling her eyes. "Because you know you look good."
"No. I know my hair's awesome."
"Then what's wrong?"
He set down his glass. "I'm worried that now I'm back in the real world, all that weird Greendale goodness is going to rub off and my dormant jackass side will emerge. Because let's face it, everyone at Greendale is better than me." He paused. "Except Leonard. He needs to shut up forever."
Annie's face softened as she gave her friend's arm a reassuring squeeze. "Jeff, that's not going to happen. Trust me."
"How do you know?"
"Because Greendale will always be inside of you." She flinched. "I mean that in a nice, non-creepy way." Annie nodded towards their group of friends. "And you'll always have us to keep you in line. No matter what happens; Greendale is where you belong."
Jeff smiled as she screwed up the old note and tossed it in the trash. "So… you think my hair looks hot, huh? Want to run your hands through it?"
"You're insufferable," Annie groaned, grabbing the bag of popcorn. "Clearly Leonard's not the only one who needs to shut up forever."
PROMPT 02: "A stranger's (OCs or very minor characters) view of Jeff/Annie - they must not be in the study group or main cast! I'm normally not a fan of OCs but I want a different look at Jeff/Annie, past, present or future."
Notes: From the POV of the two women sitting near Jeff & Annie at the wig party.
Getting Wiggy With It
"Tell me again why I got stuck with the old man wig and you got the kickass purple one?" complained Sarah, scratching the side of her head.
"Because you suck at rock, paper, scissors," Kiara shrugged. "I told you choosing that elective would come in handy."
Sarah raised her beer bottle in a mock salute. "Classic Greendale."
"Speaking of classic Greendale," murmured Kiara in excitement. "Study group alert right behind you."
"All of them?" Sarah whispered, eyes widening.
"No, just our favorite 'will they won't they' couple."
"Troy and Abed?" she gasped.
Kiara rolled her eyes. "Our other favorites," she replied, peering at them curiously. "They look nervous, I wonder if they're finally dating." She paused. "Is it weird that we're more invested in their love lives than our own?"
"Dude," she pointed to her curly white tresses, "I'm giving off dead president vibes in this thing and the hot guy in the green wig you keep trying to chat to has been ignoring you all night. Which scenario is more exciting right now?"
"… Noted. Oh my God they're coming this way! What do we do?"
"Shit! Act cool, act cool." Sarah lounged against the table, frowning. "I forget what cool looks like."
"Shhh, just keep your voice down and pretend like we're in a really deep conversation."
The girls kept up their charade, grinning at each other when Jeff offered Annie his jacket. But they were unable to conceal their disappointment when it all went downhill from there.
"No eating? No sweating? Is he seriously giving her a jacket rulebook?" Sarah muttered in astonishment.
"Ugh, and now he's stripping it off her and not in a good way," said Kiara, shaking her head. "I swear it's one step forward, one giant step back off a steep cliff with those two. Great, and now Annie's gone inside."
"There goes the entertainment for the evening," Sarah sighed, freezing when a man's voice rang out behind her.
"Well I hate to upset one of our founding fathers, but oh wait, I don't actually give a crap."
The girls sheepishly turned around to see Jeff staring at them.
"So you heard all that, huh?" said Kiara, flushing red.
He raised an eyebrow. "There's not going to be a round of 'if you're stealthy and you know it clap your hands' any time soon."
"Or 'if you're suave and you know it'," Sarah retorted.
"Excuse me?"
"Come on, dude, you ruined the classic romantic jacket move."
"It wasn't that bad."
"You talked about sweat," added Kiara. "Sweat, Jeff."
He sighed. "I know, but when I'm around her I…" Jeff made a face. "What the hell am I doing? I don't even know you two! This school is insane," he growled, storming away.
Sarah and Kiara stared after him. "I hope those two crazy kids work it out," said Kiara wistfully.
"What should we do now?" asked Sarah.
"Want to go and see what Troy and Abed are up to?"
"You read my mind."
PROMPT 03: "Change or remove one "key" element or moment of Community. For example, Jeff didn't ask about Britta that first day, Pierce really did OD in season two, or Jeff never lost his license, etc."
Hanging By A Moment
Jeff slid into a red vinyl booth, pushing aside a duffel bag to make room for himself. "Of all the roadside diners in all the towns in all the world, I had to walk into yours."
"Thanks for coming to get me," she said with a weary smile. "I'm sorry you had to drive for two hours when you probably had better things to do. I just didn't know who else to call."
"Don't worry, it's fine." He poured himself a cup of lukewarm coffee, immediately regretting it after the first sip. "Although I can't say the same for this rat poison."
"We're at a place called 'Greasy Bob's' after midnight," she stated.
"Well I'm not saying I'm going to turn into a Gremlin if I don't get my caffeine fix, but would it hurt Greasy Bob to look up what an actual coffee bean is?"
"No," she replied, troubled. "I mean how on earth did I start out seizing the moment and then wind up here?" Annie peeled her arm off something sticky on the table. "All I'm managing to seize is a bacterial infection!"
"You need to cut yourself some slack." Jeff replied. "So what if you didn't actually make it to Delaware with Tiny Nipples? Would pre-Greendale Annie have even thought about making such a big decision in the first place?" Annie shook her head. "And would pre-Greendale Annie have had the confidence to say, 'You know what? Living with a guy who nicknamed me after a soda isn't what I want right now'."
"It was mountain flower not Mountain Dew," she scolded, hiding a smile. "But you're right, I wouldn't have." Annie played with the sugar dispenser. "I guess not seizing the moment… was me seizing the moment?"
He chuckled. "I guess it was." Jeff checked his watch. "Are you ready to go? Or do you want to scope out the salmonella burgers?"
"No, I'm ready." Annie stood and gathered her belongings, nearly toppling over at the weight of her backpack. Amused, Jeff stepped closer to take it from her, swinging it with ease over his shoulder. "Show off," she teased.
"Only for you, Milady," he replied, before giving her a sincere smile. "I'm really glad you're staying, Annie," he admitted.
"Me too," she said shyly. "I know now Greendale is where I belong."
They stood there basking in the moment before a loud crash in the kitchen reminded them of their surroundings. "I'll bet they just picked that right up and put it back on the plate," said Jeff, making sure Annie had all her things before they walked out.
As they reached Jeff's car, Annie noticed a sports bag already packed on the backseat and gave Jeff an inquisitive look. "Were you on your way somewhere when I called?"
"I may have been thinking about a quick getaway," Jeff replied sheepishly.
"Really? Why?"
"… Something happened at the dance after you left and I didn't quite know how to handle it."
"Tell me everything."
PROMPT 04: "Jeff and/or Annie not realizing they are on a date."
Don't Look Now…
Jeff blearily opened his eyes before breaking into a lazy grin at the sight of Annie curled up against him with her hair fanned out everywhere. He gently lifted his arm to brush away a strand from her face.
"Are you watching me sleep again, weirdo?" she murmured into his chest.
"Maybe," he replied, kissing her forehead. "I mean you just look so hot when you snore and drool at the same time, y'know?"
"Hey!" she protested, giving him a kick under the covers. "I may have a reputation as a multi-tasker, but those two things I most certainly do not do." Yawning, Annie lifted her head to check the alarm clock, bolting upright upon discovering the time. "How is it 8AM?" she yelped.
"Well, there's this little thing we humans like to call morning where…" His voice became muffled when Annie buried his face with a pillow.
"It's too early for your sass, Winger." She let the pillow go before grabbing her watch off the nightstand to double-check the time. "Why haven't the kids come bounding in to wake us up yet? I should go and check on them."
Jeff stretched, resting his arms behind his head. "They're probably doing what any normal five and six year olds would be doing – watching cartoons." He flinched as they heard a loud crash in the kitchen. "Or destroying the house. I knew we should have raised sea monkeys instead."
Annie draped herself in a robe while Jeff put on sweatpants, but as they opened the bedroom door they could hear Emily and Jackson's voices drift up the hall.
"Gross!" Jackson exclaimed. "You dropped the fruit in the dog's bowl!"
"You dropped it, dummy!" Emily retorted.
"Nuh-uh, you're the dummy."
"Don't sass me, Jack."
"… What does that mean?"
"I don't know. Mom just says it all the time. Now be quiet so we can call them."
Hearing Emily yell out, Jeff and Annie made their way into the empty kitchen where a haphazard breakfast was laid out for them on the table. They could hear the kids whispering excitedly in the next room as they sat on the two chairs pushed close together.
"Dog bowl banana?" Annie offered.
"Hmm, tempting but I might stick to the burnt toast with…" he sniffed the food. "I want to say jelly and BBQ sauce?" Laughing, they both decided on cereal.
Annie smiled as Jeff gave her extra marshmallows from his Lucky Charms. "This is nice. We haven't done this together in ages."
"I know, we should do it more often." Jeff suddenly noticed a plate of cold SpaghettiOs and meatballs next to a DVD. "Don't look now but I think our kids are trying to Lady and the Tramp us."
"Aww! They set us up on a date. And here you said Disney could only be used for evil."
"I stand corrected."
Smirking, Annie scooped up some pasta and offered it to him. "Here you go. Ladies first before tramps."
"Don't sass me, Winger."
PROMPT 05: A quote from the Alexi Murdoch song Orange Sky: "My salvation lies in your love."
Winger Speech To Bring Us Home
Annie cut a lone figure sitting on the school steps with her back towards Jeff. He slowly made his way over, perching next to her on the cold concrete. "Why aren't you inside enjoying your party?"
"Technically it's your party," she replied. "And Pierce's I guess."
"Yeah but you planned it. You should get to awkwardly avoid dancing with the Dean too." Jeff looked out at the empty Greendale lot covered in moonlight. "I'll bet Abed would appreciate the location symmetry right now."
Glancing at the 'library' sign behind her, Annie laughed softly. "I didn't even realize," she said. "I can write boo-yah across your graduation certificate if you like?"
"Hey, I worked not very hard to earn that," he teased. They sat in companionable silence as the breeze caressed their skin. "Seriously though," he said, noting the frown lines on her forehead, "is everything OK? You've got your 'how can I get extra credit on this essay?' face on."
She allowed herself a genuine smile. "You've catalogued my expressions, hmm? Well, what does this one say?" she asked, pointing to her face.
"Easy. That's your 'how is Jeff so handsome?' look." He laughed as she scoffed at him. "And the answer is bathing in the tears of beauty pageant contestants."
"Sorry, mister big shot, but you guessed that one incorrectly."
"Oh really?"
"Mmm-hmm," she nodded, looking away. "That's actually my 'I'm going to miss seeing that giant idiot at the study table' face." Annie smoothed down her dress.
"Pierce will be pleased to hear that." He stretched out his legs as she chuckled. "And I'm sure he'll feel the same way as well," he quietly added.
Annie turned to him once more. "That speech you made during the ceremony. I hope you know it wasn't a one-sided thing." She tucked some hair behind her ear, recalling his words. "Because what you've done for me… For the group, it's indescribable. It's unbelievable," she smiled, her eyes filling up. "And my love, our love, for you is immeasurable."
He gazed at her, feeling the roulette wheel in his heart tick over with a million memories. "I know," he said softly. "But it's nice to hear it anyway." They smiled at each other before Jeff leant in to press a tender kiss to her cheek. "I think I'm going to miss you most of all, Scarecrow," he said, earning an eye roll in return.
"Just shut up before you see my 'I'm going to slap you' face," she teased, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.
"Do you want to go back inside? Maybe we can salvage some cake."
She shook her head. "I think I might just stay out here for a while."
Jeff wrapped his arm across her shoulder, pulling her close. "Yeah. Me too."
PROMPT 06: "Jeff and Annie on a double-date with any couple from another one of your favorite shows."
Notes: Set not long after the S4 Community & S2 New Girl finales.
Who's That Couple?
A waiter appeared at Jeff and Annie's table. "Excuse me sir, but I have some people for you," he said, nodding to the two guests accompanying him.
Jeff raised an eyebrow. "When I asked to see the specials I didn't realize they'd be Hannibal-themed."
"They aren't your relatives?" the waiter frowned.
"He's just messing around," the brunette stranger laughed. "Good old cousin…"
"Pepperwood," her partner supplied, before grimacing. "I mean Winston. Good old cousin Winston Pepperwood… the third." The girl elbowed him. "How've you been, cuz? How's the alpaca farm treating you?"
Noting Jeff's confused expression the waiter went to usher the couple away before Annie piped up. "The alpacas are great!" she said, stifling a laugh. "Take a seat and we'll tell you all about them." Ignoring Jeff's stare, Annie smiled as the waiter set out two extra chairs.
"OK," said Jeff, as the waiter left. "One, who the hell are you guys? And two, alpaca farm?" He glanced at Annie. "Bonus round question: did you also take candy from strangers as a child?"
"Aww, come on," ribbed Annie. "Doesn't this remind you of a Greendale adventure? Besides, no one with a cute polka-dot sweater can be that dangerous."
"Thank you," the girl smiled, holding out her hand. "We're Jess and Nick. It's really awesome to meet you both."
Annie shook her hand. "I'm Annie and the cranky one over there is Jeff."
"You have really good hair, dude," said Nick, admiring Jeff. "And that suit is impressive. You look suave like you pay your taxes on time but also know how to brew your own beer, y'know? That's really cool, man."
Jess patted Nick's arm. "OK, let's not make this a Russell thing."
"How about we make this a 'Why are you gate crashing our table?' thing?" Jeff quipped.
"We're so sorry. We're road-tripping and we'd heard so much about Morty's Steakhouse that we just wanted to take a tiny peek inside, but the queue was super long."
"So we pretended we knew you to get in," Nick added. "We didn't think it would actually work. Plan B was to dress up as waiters."
Annie laughed. "Our friend Abed would love you guys."
"Is he here too?" said Jess.
"No, just us." She nodded towards Jeff. "I'm helping him celebrate an important milestone."
"Oh man, and we're totally interrupting," Jess cringed. "I'm sorry, we'll get out of your hair. We just got caught up in the moment." She turned to Nick. "Maybe we could go to that Senor Kevin's place?"
"What milady wants, milady doth shall have," said Nick, taking her hand as she giggled. "I don't know why that came out weird and fancy but just roll with it."
"I think it's sweet," said Annie, throwing Jeff a coy look. "Do you think our new friends should stay for one drink, milord?"
"Fine, one drink," he sighed, hiding a smile. "You like whiskey, Nick?"
Nick gaped at him in awe. "You're like Mad Men come to life."
PROMPT 07: Write a moment we hear about but don't see or don't see in full (anything from Paradigms, Pierce faking a heart attack mentioned in 2.23, Jeff's threesome from 2.20, etc.)
Notes: The idea stemmed from an old flier Jeff found in his locker in 3.13, but it's actually set not long after 2.17.
"It's like God spilled a person…"
Annie stood in the cafeteria handing out fliers to passing students. "Save Garrett?" she said, shoving the paper at Quendra.
"What happened to him this time?" asked Quendra.
"Allergic reaction to black mold," Annie said gravely. "We're trying to organize a 'Save Garrett Sock Hop' to raise money to help with his medication."
"Sounds like fun! Ooh, can we wear knee socks?"
Annie grinned. "Don't you mean qu-nee socks?"
"No," Quendra frowned. "Why would I mean that?"
"Because you… never mind. And knee socks aren't allowed, Garrett's allergic to them." She tapped the paper. "It's all in the notes."
Turning on her heel, Annie strode out of the room and into the corridor towards the lockers. She busied herself putting a flier in each one, struggling with one locker in particular that seemed full of junk judging by the way the paper wouldn't fit through the slats. "Some people just want to watch the world burn," Annie muttered to herself, before finally cramming it in. Her job done, she made her way to the study room, surprised to see someone had beaten her there.
"Stop looking at me like I'm All About Eve-ing you," Jeff teased as Annie slid off her backpack. "Your role as the punctual one still stands."
"Good to know," she replied, taking her seat. "You are crazy early, though. Is everything OK?"
"You know how the saying goes," he shrugged. "The early bird catches the worm and decreases the odds of people bumping into him and singing 'you gotta have Jeff'."
Annie winced. "People are still doing that, huh?"
"Yep." Jeff fiddled with his phone. "I thought a week might have been enough for it to become a passing fad but it's just grown stronger. Like black mold. Or the Kardashians."
"Again I am so sorry for my part in that mess."
"You mean the whole part?"
"… Yeah. Speaking of black mold, though, there's this little project I'm working on that involves a sock hop and…"
"Oh gee, I think I'm busy that day."
She rolled her eyes. "You don't even know the date yet."
He glanced at her. "It doesn't really matter because you lost me at sock."
"Really? Because I usually lose you at 'project'."
"What can I say? I'm growing."
Annie reached over to lower his phone. "If you really are growing then you'll be pleased to know it's for charity."
"Who's Charity? Is she hot?" He laughed as she scoffed at him. "OK, fine." He grabbed his wallet and took out a note. "Here's ten bucks, go nuts."
"You don't want to know what it's for?"
Jeff shook his head. "I'm claiming a George Michael-induced free-pass to sit this one out. I think I've earned it."
Annie nodded. "Fair enough." She tucked the money away before smiling. "Would it help if I said you looked cute in your audition tape outfit?"
"Annie, I had a bouffant hairdo and a jacket with my name sewn on it. Nothing about that screams cute."
