Thinking Out Loud

This has been floating around in my documents for some time so figured I may as well share, its my first one for this show so please be nice!

The doctor looked around the empty Tardis, how lonely it felt at times, such a large object, so many rooms, half unexplored still, and he stood alone in it.
Every inch of him missed his old self, he knew he had regenerated, he knew his brain was pretty much up to date with everything, but the memories all came flooding back at once, like a tidal wave sweeping over a village, wiping everything out in such strength that nothing but a pile of rubbish remain.
That was how his mind felt, imagine it, a new body, a new voice, a new look, new Tardis (of sorts), but every single emotion, every memory, every vicious, happy, distressing, scared, joyful, emotional and uplifting thought piled into a new mind all at once jumbled up with different events, planets, people, aliens, creatures and mysteries. How could someone prepare for that? Despite knowing it was going to happen it was as though his mind shut down on him before hand, preparing itself for the torment that was to come. He had done it enough times, he had many companions, all of which had left his life, leaving him alone, with challenges still to face.

There where many advantages to being a time lord, but the disadvantages where often at the forefront of his mind.

He had been able to prepare for this change a little though, for his companion was a special one, although he would never admit that to her he felt she already understood. He trusted she would stand by him whilst he regenerated, but the doubt of how she would react afterwards had troubled him greatly.

Just another thing to worry about.

He walked towards the doors of the Tardis, knowing she stood outside on her phone, knowing who she was on the phone to. Knowing that he had seen this many a times, and none of them had ended well.

He saw her, as soon as he stepped outside, the Scottish air filling his lungs as people seemingly passed by blissfully unaware. She had her head against a wall of a shop, her hair covering her face as she listened quietly, his voice, weak amongst the noise in the background, that painful place that all the Time Lords ended up going to. He breathed heavily down the phone as he spoke his final words, ones of comfort and assurance that in time everything would be ok.

The Doctor felt that pain, the pain he felt making that call, saying goodbye to the person he treasured so very much. He could blame it on his weakened state, feeling the life being sucked from him, clinging to his former self as best he could. But he knew it was the pain linked to saying goodbye, to never see her face again in that form. The form he was sure she cared so deeply for.

Clara hung the phone up, wiping the tears from her eyes as she heard his Scottish accent.

''So?''

''So what?'' She said, faking a smile as she tucked away the heart ache she felt.

''What did he say?'' He asked, hands in his pockets

''How do you know who it was?'' Clara asked, stepping towards him.
''I don't need to know, that was me talking'' He said, turning around briefly before facing her again ''You don't get it do you, you look at me and you don't see me, do you have any idea how that makes me feel?''

She couldn't answer, for she had never been in this position before, she stepped closer to him, their bodies almost touching as she looked up into his eyes, he felt she was looking at him, properly for the first time. Yet he found it difficult not to register the smell of her perfume, wafting into his nose as she remained close to him, feeling her skirt drift across his trousers as she tip-toed up and leant into him.

It could have been a moment, or an hour, either way he would remember this moment for a very long time.

She finally smiled, embracing him in a hug. The sudden contact startled him, he held his hands outright, almost scared to touch her.

''Thankyou'' She said, muffled into his shoulder as she continued to hold him.

''Im not sure im the hugging type'' He said awkwardly, trying to mask the sense of belonging that rattled through him, making light and sense of every difficult or complicated emotion he held within him that was linked to her.

''Deal with it'' Clara said, a smiled playing on her lips as she treasured the contact. She saw him, the man she cared so deeply for, perhaps he looked different, and his personality had somewhat changed however he was still the same man, just as he promised her, she wasn't afraid, she trusted he would take care of her. How could she let him go, to be alone at such a time?

Finally she released him, well aware that people where passing by and probably looking. She didn't want to release him, sometimes, she wished he was more observant, to take her silent hints and make him realise just how deeply she cared for him.

She smiled as she caught his eye, standing aside him and walking towards the doors, stepping back into the Tardis.
She looked around at the new console room, it seemed fitting to his new face. She turned to see him step down the steps, walking towards her, she looked at him, and knew right then, something was coming.

''Clara im not your boyfriend'' The words came out firm, he hadn't meant them to sound that way, but it had been hard enough saying them, he knew hanging around to say them meant they would never be said.

Clara hesitated ''I never thought you were'' She offered a small smile, ignoring the stab of pain she felt as she lied to him.

''I never said it was your mistake'' He replied with a sad tone to his voice.

Why can it not be that simple Clara thought to herself.
''Im sorry, what?'' The doctor said in response.

Clara looked at him ''I didn't say anything'' She said quickly, mirroring his confusion.

He shrugged, he never shrugged, was this new? Perhaps he was now fond of shrugging. And walked around the consol.

Clara ran her hands along the edge of the console, following him, watching him from behind The coat does suit him She thought as she watched it sway with his footsteps

''Thankyou, im rather fond of it myself'' He said as he continued to flick switches

Clara stopped in her tracks ''I didn't say anything''

He turned to face her ''Yes you did, you said you think the coat suits me'' He smiled as her face turned to one of shock.

''I didn't say that'' Clara argued

''Yes you did, you probably forgot, humans do that all the time, if you could see the size of your brain'' He babbled as he continued to walk around, observing all the new objects, switches and gadgets that came with the regeneration.

''No'' Clara said firmly ''I didn't say it, I thought it'' She said, catching up with him as he stopped and turned to her.

''How could I hear your thoughts?'' He asked the question but didn't expect an answer.

Clara shrugged.

He walked over to her. ''Think of something, anything, what you want most in the world, right now, just think it but don't say it''

She had many things she wanted, yet she had to be careful what she thought of. Coffee, a nice, hot cup of coffee with caramel

It was as though the words where being spoken aloud, as though he was listening to her speak, it was her voice for certain, yet her lips remained still. ''Fascinating'' He said quickly, spinning round and thinking through his newly muddled brain.

''What did was I thinking?'' Clara asked quickly as she saw him jump into action

''Coffee, with caramel, although god knows why, it ruins it'' He said in response

She stood in shock, he could read her thoughts now!

He ran around the console, flicking a variety of switches before pulling the lever, the Tardis started to hum and spin as it began to move.
Clara held on to the railings as it settled into its transit, smoothing out enough for her to let go.
''Where are we going?'' She asked, but before he could answer it landed.

''You are leaving, I have to figure this out'' He said, ushering her towards the door

''But if you can read my thoughts surely I am more help to you here'' She argued, standing her ground.
Not unless you can tell me why I am suddenly telepathic and link it to my recent regeneration then no, you are of no use''

Clara huffed as he walked her to the door, she turned to face him eyeing him carefully for a moment, before stepping outside the doors, back into the closest of her school.

He turned and wandered back to the console, spinning round as she opened the door once more ''When will I see you again?'' She asked from the doorway

''When I have sorted this out, now go!'' He ushered his hands In a playful yet commanding way. Watching as Clara slipped out of the doors leaving him alone once more.

Stepping back out into the corridor she smoothed her hair down and made her way to her awaiting class.

D&C

It had been days since she had seen him, and she realised then, that it was awfully boring leading a normal life, she loved history, but she loved the threat and thrill even more, be it in the history or the future.

Having not heard from him though, she figured he had sorted this whole mind reading thing out, after all, she couldn't think about nothing all the time, all the papers she had to mark, lesson planning, and then there was the social outings.

Clara thought back to the date she had last night, the man was a friend from a friend, a set up. He had been nice enough, but she couldn't help but feel as though something was missing, as though she was looking for something that didn't exist in men.

Turning the tap off she dipped her hand into the hot bath, bubbles foamed and fizzed on the water's surface as she slipped off her robe, laying it beside the bath as she stepped into it.
She loved her bathroom, it was one of her most favourite rooms in her tiny house.

The warm water seeped into her tired body, offering a soothing comfort to her as she tried to shut her mind off from the events of the day. Closing her eyes as she rested her head on the towel head rest stuck to the bath's edge she found her mind slipping back to that conversation
Clara im not your boyfriend
I never thought you were
I never said it was your mistake
She had wished for the courage to be honest with him. To say she felt something there, something exciting and endearing, how she wanted to explore this with him, to see him in a different way. After all his friend Madame Vastra had shed some light on his recent regeneration, explaining his young, previous appearance was for her, and that he chose to regenerate in front of her because he trusted her.

She opened her eyes, realising how she had nearly broken that trust. Sighing she realised thinking it over was useless, even a Time Lord, who could send her back to that time to relive and improve those moments, would not forget her initial reaction. Instead, she closed her eyes and allowed her imagination to take hold.

'Clara I am not your boyfriend'
'What if I wanted you to be?'
'Im sorry?' He said, confused

The Doctor stood upright from his chair, hearing her thoughts clear as day echo around the Tardis, almost projected to him. He listened carefully, running over to a new recorder he had devised, switching it on and fumbling for his sonic screwdriver, scanning the inside of the Tardis as it continued to project around the room.

She ran her fingers along the boards, circling the console room as she closed the distance between them, standing to face him 'What if, despite changing, I wanted you to be my boyfriend'
Clara observed his reaction change from confused to knowing, something within his eyes switched as he looked her up and down.
'You're the boss' He replied, his voice seemed deeper than usual. Causing Clara's breath to catch in her throat.

The Doctor listened carefully, his hearts began to accelerate as he realised roughly where this was heading, quickly he tried to shut it down, looking desperately for the source of the projection, not wanting to hear the rest.

Clara pictured him, clear as day in her mind, she figured she would picture her younger, bow tied doctor, the one she often thought she was in love with, the fantasises she had about that bow tie, the things he did with it. But she didn't see him, instead the new faced Doctor filled her mind, perhaps it was because she knew that this was still him, or maybe, deep down she found the new doctor just as attractive as the other one. After all, he was the same man, the same hearts etc. She began to feel her stomach flutter with excitement as her imagination kept running away with her.

And then, he kissed her, pressing her up against the console of the Tardis, listening to her slight squeal of surprise as he bit down on her bottom lip, his hands against her hips as he kept his body flush against hers.

Clara found her hand begin the travel beneath the water, her desire evident to herself as she squirmed in the bath, her eyes remained closed as her excitement began to rise further still.

Things got hot. Quick. As he continued to run his hands along her clothed body, her skirt pushed up against his trousers, with his mouth focused on her neck, following the trace of her bare skin until it reached the fabric of her shirt. He pushed his hips towards hers, encouraging her to part her legs for him which she did without hesitation, he stepped between them, reaching down to her short skirt, his bare fingers touching her tights, leaving a burning sensation as he crept up her legs and finally…

Clara moaned as her hand traced the line of her sex in the bath, picturing just how it may feel was probably as best as she would ever get close to.

The doctor ran around the Tardis, he had flown it to another planet, he had shut down the systems and computers and still the thoughts of one miss Clara Oswald rang in his ears, as though she was speaking directly to him. He looked around the Tardis is desperation, before finally sitting down and trying desperately hard to shut his own mind off.
This was private, this was wrong, it was invasive. But, as he sat still and tried not to listen, he found himself much to his own dismay that he was listening, and he realised, it was about him. Not the previous version of him. But him.

She already had the tiny details, mixed in with her own girlish fantasies, but by god did it feel real. She felt his breath on the inside of her leg as he reached up and pulled her tights down, leaving her in only her skirt and knickers. She was already wet with anticipation as he kissed the inside of her thigh, before nipping it with his teeth, the sharp stab of pain was quickly soothed by intense pleasure, seeping straight down into her core as she parted her legs further. He smiled against her skin, standing once more as his hand traced the line of her sex through her knickers, feeling the damp fabric as she began to moan and whimper sweet nothings into his ear, her hand tracing over his trousers, feeling his tented groin as she quickly undid the button and zip, reaching her hand in, desperate to feel, see and taste him.

'Clara' His Scottish accent was deep in her ear, he groaned as his fingers slipped the fabric of her underwear aside, dipping into the wetness he found there. He teased her for a bit, focusing on the feel of her delicate yet firm hand, working his length, drawing him up into a frenzy until he finally snapped.

Clara moaned aloud in the bath tub, gripping her free hand to the edge as she slipped a finger inside herself, working her body the way she enjoyed it most, imagining it was him, his voice crystal clear in her head.

The doctor sat stock still in his chair, listening the fantasy played out across the Tardis for only him to hear, he felt uncomfortable, unable to avoid her voice yet unable to ignore the feelings it was awakening in him, feelings he thought where long since gone.

Her desperation was growing, she began begging and pleading with him, wanting to wait no longer as her body became taught like a string, pulling itself tighter and tighter as his fingers continued to work her, his thumb tracing over her clit, sparking sharp almost unbearable jolts of pleasure through her.
Finally, he gave way, sensing his own desperation he quickly pulled her underwear down, rucked her skirt up and lifted her small frame onto the Tardis controls.

The realistic side of her questioned that. A) She was certain the Tardis hated her and would probably offer some kind of shock to Clara for being sat on. B) There was not one button or switch that didn't do something in that thing, sitting on any of them could turn into something nasty. However, she swiped the thought away quickly, knowing, after all it was her own fantasy, nobody else's.

He wasted no time in entering her, pulling her body closer to the edge as he supported her there, Clara grabbed hold of the levers beside her, arching her back as she leant backwards, encouraging him to go deeper.

He quickened the pace, as did Clara, meeting his thrusts with her own, his body becoming hot as his breathing became heavier. He began to say her name, quietly, then louder, until it was to much and he was unable to hold off any longer.

Clara moaned loudly before shouting his name into the silence as she tipped herself over the edge, Her orgasm wracked through her in a violent fashion as her body gradually felt heavier, and in need of support. She lowered her hand from between her legs, gripping the bathtub as her breathing slowed.

Suddenly the water did not feel as warm, her hair remained unwashed and her toes, upon inspection where wrinkled like prunes. Her head felt heavy and tired as she pulled herself out of the tub and began to dry herself off.

The Doctor remained still in his chair, eyes closed and fingers latched together, his hearts beating heavy within his chest as he felt uncomfortable and tense, finally he opened his eyes, the voice had stopped, he knew why, that her little fantasy was over.

So many things to learn from that, so much to take in, yet he did none of it, instead, standing and observing his own arousal, pushing against the confines of his trousers he made his way down the steps and over to the console, walking round the outside of it, trying to pinpoint exactly what part of it this 'fantasy' took place on.

'Clara' He said into the silence, his voice husky and strained.

Will leave that there for you all. May consider continuing depending on the response. Thanks for reading and please leave a review if you liked it