A crackfic
Kill for love
Pepper Potts was running. Running for her life. She was racing through the streets of New York as fast as she could. But not fast enough. She did not know what had happened. She had been sitting in the Stark tower, drinking tea, when Steve Rogers had come in. He had had a strange light in his eyes. He had told her to get out of Stark tower. She had been surprised and asked why. He had not answered her but had instead asked where Tony was. She had replied that he was out meaning he was flying around in his Iron Man suit.. He had repeated himself. Get out now. She had walked out onto the street because he looked really strange. She had just got into the street when he had burst out behind her, holding his shield, a murderous glint in his eyes. Then she had run. He had chased her. She turned down an ally way. Then turned left down another narrower ally. She dodged a rubbish bin. She hurdles a sleeping tramp. She turned right down another ally only to find herself at a dead end. Then Steve had caught up with her and used his shield to cut her head off. He started dragging her body back to the tower the Avengers leaped out of the sewers completely nude. They attempted to stop Steve but we're arrested by the police for public nudity. You see for some reason they all decided to sleep with no clothes on and Steve, for some reason, did not notice when he dragged their sleeping bodies into the sewers. For some reason, they did not wake up either and for some reason Steve did not notice that either and, for some reason, the police did not notice the fact that Captain America was carrying Pepper Potts's dead ? You may find out or may not find out soon. Anyway Steve went back to the tower carrying Pepper. When he got to the tower he wrapped her body in cling film and put her in a box. Then he had her buried her a week later in a cemetery on the outskirts of Washington dc. When Tony got back Steve was already down on one knee asking if he would marry him. For some reason, despite this sudden proposal, despite Pepper, despite the fact that Pepper was now dead thanks to Steve, despite the fact that he and Steve always fought about almost everything he accepted. They got married the following year. And, above them all looking down, sitting smirking on top of Stark Tower Wanda Maximoff and Loki Laufeyson eating pop tarts. They had decided to team up and muck with peoples heads. First they had ripped the mind stone out of Visions head and nicked the time stone. They had restored the septor and Asgard and Hela (who could not remember why she hated everyone or that she was the bosses of death so became a good guy. Or woman. Whatever). Then they made the Avengers sleep nude and put sleeping pills in their drinks so they would not wake up when they made Steve put them in the sewers and then they bought some pop tarts. Then Steve proposed of his own free will and they simply prompted Tony to agree. He would have anyway, in time but not immediately. And they made Tony forget about Pepper. Steve could not remember anyway. By the time Tony got back Pepper had already been shipped to Washington dc. They also made the police ignore the whole Captain America carrying a dead Pepper and all that. As they went back to Asgard they both agreed that they had had good fun. Two years later Asgard is a peaceful place ruled by two Queens and Two kings (none of whom are married, Asgard and ancient Egypt are two very different places there are no sibling marriages here!) And Steve and Tony are living in Stark tower with there adopted son Peter Parker who's aunt was somehow killed by getting hit on the head by a koala whilst on holiday in Australia. Thanos took one look at the weird messed up world he was about to blow up . . . and changed his mind. Instead he went home and bought his kids Monopoly for Christmas.
The end
So . . . Hope everyone likes the story! Tell me if I'm rubbish, tell me if I'm great (very unlikely) this is pure crack none of this is meant to make sense. Sorry this A/N in long story is actually based on me and my bro playing the Lego Marvel game. My bro was playing as Pepper and I played as Steve and I spent a good half hour chasing him round the railway track. Then he got a car and drove the car up a ramp onto the railway. I did the same and then we spent another half hour chasing each other round and round and round. The nice Avengers comes from my bro also (that rhymes!) Writing a draft for a chapter in one of his books in a funny way with the Avengers coming out of the subway with no clothes on shouting about potatoes in salad. The koalas? Terry Pratchett's drop bears. I have been to Washington DC. Beautiful city. Definitely something for the bucket list that. do check out my bro too he is called Nerdikus and I am sharing a Wattpad account with Posywillmoon. Until my next book
~OneforDRUM ~
