Okay, so I've played this game, but I never once imagined myself writing a fic for it. Wow. How weird is that?
Anyway, here's my overall disclaimer; I don't own these characters, though I enjoy playing with them.
I will warn you, I don't do swearing, so they might be a little out of character in that their language is cleaned up, but I promise I kept pretty much everything else the same.
Well, ... almost everything else. I don't ship Scout's Ma/Spy, so in my version, that doesn't even exist, and the whole team is filled with decent men (other than the killing/mercenary factor). Their minds aren't constantly in the gutter, and so while I wouldn't read this to my 4 yr old, it's still a "safe" fic.
Also, for this fic, Everyone is single. There are pretty much no relationships going on except for bromance (though that might change later).
I tried to focus more on the character relations than the fighting, so hopefully, this will be all right. :) Please enjoy, and if you do, please review. ;)
"EAT THAT CHUCKLENUTS!" Scout's jubilant voice could be heard all across the small western town that they had been ravaging for two weeks. Spy rolled his eyes at the young American's exuberance, slightly embarrassed, but really, so long as he did his job for the team, who was Spy to complain?
He quickly cloaked before he continued sneaking up on the BLU Sniper. The man was wearing a shield, and had a flighty look that had come from being stabbed in the back one too many times.
A quick distraction, and smooth slight of hand; ... there. Sniper was back in the respawn room where the whole BLU team belonged. Spy chuckled a little, uncloaking as he lit a victory cigarette, having no fear of the other team. The REDs had won for the last month, after having worked out a reliable system of teamwork.
The Administrator had hired them all, and explained to them quite bluntly that they would essentially be fighting themselves. Spy took a long drag as he thought, pondering the differences between what were supposed to be identical teams.
At first glance, the Administrator was right. They were exactly the same. But if one looked closer, the differences were obvious. Spy, along with everyone on the RED team, ... they were a team. They hadn't begun that way, ... but now, ... they were a team. Even though Spy still considered himself the best; ... the others were, ... tolerable. Even worthy of some respect. They must have seen him the same way, because they treated him just the same as they treated the rest of the team.
Almost like brothers, if Spy were prone to describing teams as families, but he wasn't.
With the BLUs, it hadn't happened the same way. It was apparent whenever they were together. Fighting. Arguing. Never really getting along. Something had happened in their team, and they had ended up as enemies. Not really a team. Perhaps one of them said something that their RED counterpart had only ever thought, or perhaps omitted something that their RED self admitted.
Whatever the reason; they weren't a team. They were mercenaries, being paid to do a job. That was why, for the last month, the RED team had a winning streak. Specifically because their Medic and Heavy had gotten into a fight at some point, and were no longer working together on the battlefield.
A nearby sound of grunting and panting broke Spy out of his thoughts, and he cloaked once again, watching a barely alive BLU soldier crawl in, his bazooka barely held in his hands. Spy ended the man's misery with a well placed jab, and the man was done. Then he put out his cigarette, determined to get a few more kills before the round ended.
He stalked back out into the chaos, keeping close to the wall as he sought out their Sniper's new perch. A few moments of inspection, and he found it. It was a water tower, right out in the open, but just as perfect to shoot from as to get shot off of. BLU Sniper was desperate, and Spy smiled as he saw how to get up. Now; to get there.
He kept close to the shadows and the walls as he made his way across the town. He was almost there when he caught sight of his own teammate, Medic, backing away from a dead Heavy as he defended himself with his syringe gun. Spy wouldn't have bothered, since the German knew exactly how to fight, and was doing rather admirably. But then the Frenchman spotted a flicker behind him, and knew that Medic was about to kiss life goodbye from the sharp end of his counterpart's butterfly knife.
Spy cursed softly as he deviated from his path, now having little time left on his watch. He would have used his gun, but that would have made him an immediate target, and he was much farther into BLU territory than Medic was. He therefore ended up running towards Medic, and tackling the BLU spy, ending him simultaneously with the knife that he'd had ready from the beginning.
"Was sind-!" Medic fell back, and helped Spy to his feet as he became visible. "Mein Freund, you did not have to do zhat." He took out the BLU Scout with several shots as he said it, and Spy growled as he got up,
"He deserved eet."
"Ja, don't zhey all?"
"TASTE ME GRENADE, YA-" The BLU Demoman was coming up on them. Too fast for Medic to reload. Too fast for Spy to draw his gun. Both of them scrambled backwards, their sense of self preservation winning out over their sense of hopelessness. Yet the BLU wasn't able to finish the scentence, as he was blown backwards by a large missile.
"HA!" Soldier's voice erupted from behind them and he cackled with glee, "That's what you get for messin' with the RED, ya MAGGOT!" He brushed past them, still on the offensive, but his helmet turned for a moment; just enough for both of them to see him wink. Demoman, their Demoman, followed the borderline insane American past them as well, a gutteral war cry ripping from his throat.
Spy was shocked enough by the turn of events that he might have just stood there until an untimely death, had Medic not grabbed his arm and pulled him back to a safe area. Behind a large building, they both caught their breath, and Medic laughed softly, "It is sehr gut zhat ve have zhis team, no?" After saying such, he ran back to base, most likely to meet up with Heavy.
Spy dusted off his pant legs meticulously, not having forgotten his original target as he cloaked again, his watch mostly recharged. As he finished off the BLU Sniper a second time, and heard Scout's voice again, "CAN'T'CHA KEEP UP?!" He had to smile a little to himself. It really was good to have the team.
Very good.
"Well done; all of you." The Administrator's cold voice washed over the whole of the RED team as they sat in their meeting room, "Your recent victories have been more than exemplary, ..." She stopped circling the table, and leaned in behind Engineer, "I've almost become proud."
"Why 'ave you called us 'ere?" Spy saved the poor Texan with his question, and her cold eyes focused on him.
"To congratulate you." She stated it as though it were a challenge, her thin lips twisting into a thin line as she pulled away from Engineer, who was barely visibly relieved, "Isn't that enough reason?"
"It ne'er was befoor." Demoman spoke up brazenly, and Spy didn't envy him the look he was about to get.
"You're right." Administrator surprised them all, and her lip curled as she admitted it.
"Then why heve you called us all here?" Heavy repeated Spy's question, and was immediately speared by her black eyes.
"To warn you."
"Vharn us?" Medic butchered the word as he spoke up now, his glasses catching the light as he shifted, "Of vhat?"
"While you have all been fighting admirably for the past while, I think, "She paused, lighting a cigarette, "Almost without saying; that the BLU team has been pathetically under-standard for just as long." She took a long, deep breath, and then blew it out all over Scout, who attempted not to cough, "Far too long."
"Jus' what're you sayin'?" Engie asked it with a voice of seriousness that matched his face.
"Yeah-" Scout spoke, immediately getting glares from everyone in the whole room, "What are you sayin'?"
"They are pathetic." Administrator smiled a little, finding joy in the other team's shortcomings, "And so I have disposed of them.
"DISPOSED OF THEM?!" Soldier and Scout were the only ones who had been under the no-talking rule, and now they had both officially broke it, "YOU THREW THEM AWAY?!"
"Yes." She smiled fully now, "They are no more."
"Mmph mmph?" Pyro leaned forward, seeming a little distressed. Spy agreed with the mumbling abomination though, and judging from the looks of the rest of the team, he wasn't alone.
"You killed 'em all?!" Sniper was the one who voiced what they all were thinking (except maybe Soldier, who was probably still picturing a big trash can).
"How else could I put in the new BLU team?" Administrator shrugged, continuing her pacing around the table, "They weren't good enough."
"New BLUs?!" Scout spoke again, and then gave a squeak when Medic poked him under the table.
"Yes." Administrator stopped by Demo this time, "I'm sure you'll find fighting them, ..." She took another long drag and blew it out on Spy, who merely glared, "much more stimulating."
"You can't jus' kill an 'ole team!" Sniper was agitated enough that he stood, but sat again when Engie gave him a hard look.
"I can." The monster that professed to be human stopped at the door, "And I will." She took another pull on her cigarette, and blew it at all of them as she left her final message, "Don't disappoint me."
Then she was gone.
"What a freak." Scout commented.
"She trashed the BLUs!" Soldier always seemed dumber and louder when women were in the room, and now his voice had lowered enough to be considered merely; loud.
"No Sol." Engie spoke gravely, "She killed 'em all."
"Zhis vas never in our contracts." Medic mused aloud, and Heavy shrugged,
"Perhaps it is only a threat."
"Non." Spy stood, hesitant to light his own cigarette with her exhaled smoke still lingering in the air, thus forcing him to relieve the tension in his muscles some other way, "She does not lie. Not about zhat sort of thing." He began to pace.
"Mmph mmmmph mmmmm." Pyro spoke emphatically and Sniper nodded,
"That Monster killed 9 people." He snapped, "Jus' like that."
"Aye, but what kin we do aboot i'?" Demo spoke sullenly.
"We gotta figure a way ta kill her!" Scout spoke emphatically, and was shushed by practically the whole team.
"Do not speak of such zhings." Spy glanced around the room, wishing he knew where all of the cameras were, "Not 'ere."
"Then when do we talk about 'em?" Engie asked, "Sniper's right. She's a monster, an' right now, she's almost proud-a us."
"Vhat are you saying?!" Medic took his own fearful look around the room, "She vill kill us if vhe do anything wrong! Vhe know zhat because she has proved it!"
"She can 'ear us, mate." Sniper growled, "Don' talk treason when she's got cameras all ovah the ploice!"
"Naw, she cain't hear us." Engie smiled a little, "Not in here. Not in our rooms."
"Vhat does little Mechanic mean?" Heavy asked. Spy suppressed the smile that came unbidden to his lips as Engie answered,
"I fixed 'er system. Righ' now, it reads that we're all jus' sittin' here, but there's no sound."
"Von't zhat be suspicious?" Medic asked.
"Aye, but she'll still never know what we said." Demo grinned, "An' if she asks aboot i', we kin say we donnae know wha' she's talkin' aboot."
"What, ya'mean tell 'er that we didn't do nothin' to her system?" Scout asked.
"Mmmph!" Pyro cheered.
"Perfect plan!" Soldier jumped up, cheering as well.
"We can only do eet once." Spy stopped the celebration, "Ozzerwise she will become truly suspicious."
"Aww man," Scout pouted as he sat down again, "I hate her."
"I fink we all do, mate." Sniper agreed as most everyone else nodded.
"Who do ya think th'other team is?" Scout asked.
"Vell, it is most likely just all of us again." Medic answered, "Perhaps zhey vill become better zhan before."
"We weel find out tomorrow." Spy shrugged.
"Porhaps dey will be bigger." Heavy mused, "Or smarter."
"WE CAN BEAT THEM!" Soldier crowed and Engie smiled,
"Sol's right. Whatever comes next, we can win."
"As a team." Demo put his hand out, and almost everyone slapped theirs on top. Spy finally shrugged, then put his on the very top,
"As a team."
All right. There's the first chapter. If you like it, I'll write more, ... if not ... I'll still probably write more, but it won't happen very quickly.
Anyway, I enjoyed writing that, and have quickly realized that I'm going to have a problem. Could someone please tell me the names of the characters, since everything I've read says something different? I'd really like to know.
