"Clarke, care to explain what the fuck that was?"

Clarke knew it was Octavia the second she heard the flap to her tent violently thrust open. She had been anticipating some fall back from Raven and Bellamy with regards to her decision of sending him to Mt. Weather, but it was Octavia's wrath she had been dreading the most.

Octavia moved closer, grabbing her around the arm and spinning Clarke towards her.

"Well", she said now with her hands on her hips, "are you going to explain yourself?"

Clarke breathed in a sigh, dispelling any quakiness from her voice.

Weakness, weakness, love is weakness.

"It had to be done Octavia", echoing the words Bellamy had spoken to her only a few nights ago by the campfire. She felt guilty for using them again now. She continued, "We don't have a choice. An inside man is our only chance at getting our people back, all of our people back."

"Bullshit Clarke", she spat back ferociously, "I understand that this is the easiest way to do things, but don't give me that crap about not having a choice. People always have a choice, and right now you're choosing to send my brother to die."

In that moment all Clarke could think about was how she had been in this position before - closing the drop ship doors, leaving Bellamy and Finn to their deaths. In that moment she felt her heart break twice, once for the boy she loved and for the one she couldn't live without. This time would be different. She wouldn't be soft and she wouldn't let her judgement be clouded by her heart.

"Bellamy offered himself up Octavia, I'm simply doing what he asked for in the first place. Someone needs to make the hard decisions." Even if they're the ones they will regret the most, she thought to herself.

Octavia's demeanor shifted in that moment, the rage gone from her features - leaving behind confusion and pity.

"Clarke," she said more softly this time, "You don't have to shut him out. I mean I guess I just don't understand, I thought you two cared about each other? You're partners? I'm just trying to wrap my head around the reason you would send him out without a care."

Clarke looked down at the ground for what seemed like an incredible expanse of time before finally looking up, "I can't care Octavia, because caring makes us weak. And a weak leader is just as good as a dead one."

With that Octavia just shook her head, "I hope you know what you're doing Clarke, I really do." and quit the tent in a far cooler manner than she came.

Clarke scanned the inside of her tent, grabbing her pack and preparing to head over to Lexa's where the two would start preparing for the war to come. She was about to leave when she felt a hot stinging in her eye. Tears were cruel she thought, never listening to the mind yet always managing to bring out what was inside her heart. They wouldn't let her lie to them and so she gave herself this one moment of weakness. One moment to stop. One moment to grieve.

For the boy she had lost.

And for the one she would soon have to live without.