Tobias Eaton and Tris Prior have fallen madly in love. They are happy, so, so happy. The war has ended, and I have no one left except for her. I need her, for all the times I remember Will, when the sadness takes over my body, my mind. We can talk for hours and hours, but it doesn't feel the same as initiation, when all she had was me. Now she has Tobias, and we don't talk as much. She is slowly drifting away from me, and toward him instead. I can't blame her for her longing of him, he is amazing, and they've been through so much together. She has been through so much alone. But sometimes, I just can't help thinking that she hasn't been through as much as me. I get mad at her when she says she "can't hang out" or when she sits at his table and leaves me alone. I am constantly comparing myself to her, convincing my brain that I've been through more horrible things, that I have it worse. When I fall asleep I ask myself over and over if I'm lying to myself. If she's better than me because she's been through less. If she's better because she has more. And then, I ask why I'm wondering if she's better than me at all. I am broken, clawing at anything I can grasp that makes me more than her. I am losing her, and I'm not surviving it. Maybe I shouldn't be. Maybe I shouldn't be here at all.