Disclaimers: I do not own James Bond but I do own Michael Stone.
A/N: Another installment to the series that involve MI6 Bond and CIA Stone. Enjoy and review!
The Burden of Knowing and Not Knowing
Michael Stone stared at the stars before him. It was the blackish-brown stars that laid upon a simple marble wall. The stars made the wall special. These same stars were known by name to him. These stars were the stars of all those who had perished. He felt like touching; tracing them with his finger like he's done so many times before, but he restrained himself. He would not let himself get lost in thought.
"You know the names," said a familiar British voice behind him.
It was James Bond. Michael didn't know how long his friend had been watching him but he didn't care. He was too busy trying not to get lost in the stars. But he knew he belonged with them even if he would be just another nameless star.
"Yeah, I know their names," he replied, not even bothering to look at his friend and counterpart who now stood beside him. "I'm one of the few who knows their true names." He paused; thinking about the time when he first learned them. "They say it's a privilege to know," he continued with a hint of bitterness.
"But you don't think so," James guessed finding his own eyes memorized by the Central Intelligence memorial which wasn't so different from the ones back in England.
"At first I thought that not knowing was wrong," Michael explained, his eyes lying on a star; one by one. "But knowing has its faults too." He started to mentally trace each star. "When you are one of the few who knows every name on those stars, you feel the weight of knowing and never being able to tell your other comrades especially when curiosity beckons them to ask questions."
"A double-edged sword." James acknowledged.
Michael laughed. "Yes, and I've had the pleasure of knowing how both edges hurt."
James heard the bitterness in his friend's voice. So, he tried to placate him by saying, "I know a name in my country's memorial." But then it struck him. That was the wrong thing to say. He knew only a name.
"Alec's?" Michael responded quickly. His eyes were glistening with emotion.
"Yes, Alec." James gravely gave.
Michael shook his head. The hurt in his heart was strong. He felt it burn him; into him. "But that's not the same," he replied. He finally looked at his friend. "You know one name. That name is your friend's name." He pointed at himself; his heart pounding. "I know all names; the names of friends, of family, and of strangers. I know them all." He laughed again with bitterness and pain. "Your knowledge is nothing compared to mine."
"I know," was James only reply. He knew very well the burden Michael carried. He never felt it before, but he knew it. He's seen that kind of burden only once before. He saw it in Alec.
It grieved him to witness such a burden and to witness it twice – that wasn't something that a person should be proud of. James had two best friends who have carried that burden. The only difference between the two was that Alec was dead and he carried the burden even if he didn't know the names. Michael lived and knew all. He didn't know why he was graced with two best friends like them but he was grateful. He loved them both so much that without them would be the most horrible pain of all.
Sure, he's already lost Alec but he's kept him in his memory and heart. But if he were to lose Michael – no he could not think on that. He would not think on losing another best friend – another brother.
James put his hand on Michael's shoulder and squeezed it. He could say nothing else. It was Michael's burden as it once been Alec's.
The End
End-note: I hope you all enjoyed this. Review's keep me going and is very much appreciated.
