BBQ's and Baseball Bats
Disclaimer: Yes. I own Grey's. Really.
Summary: This takes place immediately after episode 3X21: Desire. Alex made me angry…so I fixed it. Well…sort of. If reviews are positive, I might be persuaded to make this more than a one shot.
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"Hey" Addison smiled playfully as she approached Alex in the lobby.
"Hey" His gaze shifted briefly to hers before returning to his books – his body language less than enthusiastic.
"I guessed you could use a drink. You want to head over to Joe's?" She asked hopefully.
"Yeah, I'm uh… kind of under with this test" Addison, her disappointment evident, tried again.
"You know, I'm uh… I took that test once upon a time. We could go back to my hotel and I could quiz you" Sitting down in the chair next to him, she smiled suggestively.
"Look, this isn't… you're not my girlfriend. Okay?" Alex shrugged impatiently before once again returning his gaze to the books in his lap.
"What?" Eyebrows raised, she flashed back in horror to that day in the linen closet.
"No offence. Today was awesome. It's just… I'm really busy, I have a lot of work and I don't have time for…" He shrugged again.
"Of course" Addison stood up. "Study. It's what you're here for, right?" Gloomily, she headed out the door, turning briefly to reflect on the hospital and her connection to the men inside it. Her only thought – 'How did I end up here?'
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"You have got to be the biggest idiot in the entire universe!" Ava ranted at Alex, who stood at the edge of her bed looking over her chart and checking vitals. She seemed to be spiking a fever.
"Right. This from the woman who can't remember her own name – I MUST be the biggest idiot. Lay back and stop moving." Alex, reaching to recline the bed, shook his head and rolled his eyes when she attempted to fight him.
"At least mine's medical – what's your excuse…someone hit you over the head with a baseball bat, removing all remaining traces of common sense?" She sat up in bed a little straighter, refusing to relax.
"I'm not talking about this with you. Now lay down before I give you a sedative and force you to take a nap." He sighed, attempting to force her down.
"You know you're supposed to be my doctor – somehow I don't think shoving me into bed is helping." Alex backed up and sighed.
"Look, I need you to relax. Your temperature is rising. It could be a sign of infection. And even though you're a pain in my ass right now, I'd really like to see you get better… so would you please lay down." Ava sat back with a huff, crossing her arms across her chest.
"Fine. I'm laying. Are you happy?" She watched him as he flipped through her chart, writing down a few things as he went. "Why did you do it? I know you like her – so why did you have to go and be a jerk?!
Outside the door Addison stopped short. Eavesdropping wasn't usually her style, but after last night, a little insight couldn't hurt. Besides, the longer she put off seeing Alex the better.
"I already told you – we aren't having this conversation." Alex's voice drifted into the hallway and Addison leaned against the wall, closing her eyes.
"Either you spill or I will."
"What are you talking about?"
"I told you…I know things. And either you tell me why you did it or I tell the nurses how much of an ass you can be. Your choice."
"Tell them I'm an ass – it isn't anything they don't already know."
"Come on. Pleasssse."
"Don't beg. If you beg, I'm leaving."
"I just don't' get it. I know…" She trailed off when she heard movement outside the door. She decided to take a chance.
"Dr. Montgomery?" Ava called out loudly. Alex gave her a look that said 'leave it alone.' Addison sighed and rounded the corner.
"Morning Ava, how are you feeling?" Fumbling with her glasses, she kept her eyes on the floor, on her feet, on anything but Alex.
"Oh you know…okay…still an amnesiac."
"She has a fever – I'm worried about infection." Karev said quietly. He kept his eyes on Ava – who just watched.
"Well did you check her sutures?" Addison picked up the chart Alex had placed on the end table and focused on the pages in front of her.
"Yeah, they seemed okay."
"You sure they aren't 'awesome'?" She sighed under her breath. Ava and Alex both picked up on it, but neither chose to comment. "I think I can take it from here. I know that you're kind of 'under' with that test…you should probably use this time to study." Addison's tone was neutral, but her body language said it all.
"Are you kicking me off this case?" Alex asked, his voice tinged with annoyance.
"No…I'm giving you an opportunity to study." Addison finally looked at him.
"I can study from here…I'll monitor Ava and check back with…"
"No Karev, you won't." Everyone was silent. Addison and Alex stared at each other, neither one willing to back down. Ava threw up her arms.
"Okay this is ridiculous. Alex is sorry he was an ass yesterday. Someone hit him over the head with a baseball bat. And you should forgive him because he really has a thing for you.
"Ava, leave this alone." Alex's voice was terse.
"No. I won't. I won't leave it alone Alex." She paused for a moment. "I almost died on a ferry boat. I have a baby and I can't even remember my own name. I have no family, no friends. Right now, I'm pretty much alone in the world and yet here you are, with someone who wants you…who you want…and all you can do is say leave it alone. I won't leave it alone."
Addison looked away, taking a deep breath. Another deep breath. When she looked back, Alex and Ava appeared to be squaring off in a record breaking staring contest. She couldn't do this. With a mumbled, "I gotta go," she turned and fled the room.
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Alex found her sitting on a bench in front of the hospital. He couldn't decide if approaching her would help or hurt their situation. He figured that it couldn't really get worse – he pretty much hit rock bottom last night.
"Can we talk?" Alex stepped in front of the bench blocking the sun. Addison stared past him.
"And say what? I get it Alex. You're not interested. You told me as much in that linen closet. And I…I don't know…" she chuckled a little, "I guess I let my imagination get away with me. I guess…I guess I thought maybe…But have no fear. You've set the record straight." She paused a second and then looked up at him and sighed. "I'm leaving."
"What?" Alex was taken aback.
"I'm leaving Seattle. I told Richard this morning."
"When?" He didn't know what to say. Ava wasn't wrong. He liked her. She'd earned his respect – which typically wasn't an easy task - and he didn't want her to leave. But he had meant what he said last night. She wasn't his girlfriend…and he wasn't sorry for saying it.
She just shrugged. "Soon." When he didn't say anything, she stood up and walked back inside.
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Addison sat on the loveseat in her room, an oversized t-shirt engulfing her small frame. She stared at an old picture from med school. She, Mark, and Derek had been studying at a local diner – using French fries, they'd indicated their specialties on the table in front of them. A knock at the door interrupted her nostalgia. She went to answer it.
"Hey." Alex stood, tired and worn out, with his hand on the back of his neck.
"What are you doing here, Karev?"
"I'm sorry."
"What?"
"For last night. I'm sorry I said what I said. I'm sorry I was a jerk." Addison clenched and unclenched her fist.
"Don't worry about it. You're off the hook." She shook her head and looked down. "I've gotta get back to packing so…" Alex nodded his head and turned to go, but quickly turned back around putting his hand on the door to stop it from shutting.
"Wait. If you're leaving because of me, don't…I don't want you to go."
"No. You don't get to do this. You don't get to tell me you aren't interested and then say things like 'I'd notice if you disappeared.' And you don't get to be a complete and total asshole and then say you don't want me to leave. You made yourself perfectly clear last night how you felt…and you're right…"
"No, I wasn't…"
"I get it Alex. You don't have to pretend…"
"You don't get it. Look just let me say something and then I'll go. And if you still want to leave Seattle…I'll help you pack." He shrugged. She paused briefly before nodding at him to go ahead.
"Can we do this inside? I'd prefer it if the whole world didn't hear this?" She didn't say anything, just opened the door wide enough for him to come in.
"I was an ass yesterday and you have every right to hate me. And you have every reason to believe – after everything I've said and done – that I'm not…that I wasn't…interested. But that isn't entirely true." He paused gathering his thoughts and walked over to the loveseat where the picture sat.
"Ava said something to me yesterday that freaked me out." He looked over at her. "She said that I was a good guy. That I was a family BBQ, hang out with the kids type of guy. And that that was something you wanted. But I'm not that guy. And being that guy…its something that I swore I would never be…it's a guy that I'm afraid of. Because people expect things of that guy. And I don't like expectations. When people expect things of you…disappointment usually follows.
Addison was sitting the bed cross-legged, curious as to where this was going.
"The point is, I'm not that guy. And when you came to me last night, I was terrified that you wanted me to be him…I still am. And, as odd as this may sound, I've actually come to respect you. As a doctor and as a person. And I really didn't want to let you down." He moved toward where she was sitting. "So I did what I always do. I put distance between us the only way I knew how. And when you told me today that you were leaving…it threw me for a loop. And all I could think was that I didn't want you to go." He shrugged before sitting down next to her on the bed.
She didn't know where to start. She ran her hand through her hair before glancing in his direction. "I did want you to be that guy. But last night…I just didn't want to be alone." She got up and began to pace. "I'm not leaving because of you. I mean you're part of what got me to that point, but it isn't you. We're in different places. I'm a lot older than you…okay this is not coming out right."
"Being in Seattle is like being torn between two different realities – the past and the future. Mark and Derek are both here and I can't seem to escape what they represent. And you – I want the guy that you'll be in ten years. I know you're fighting it, but I watch you with Ava, with other patients, and I see you changing. And I hope that I've had at least a little bit to do with that." She went and sat back down.
"I feel stifled here. Because I want you…and I can't have you in the way that I want you…and I know that you can't be that guy yet. And Mark will never be that guy. Derek was that guy, but I threw it away… I just…I need to leave. Does that make any sense?"
"Believe it or not it does. So are we alright?"
"Yeah…we're okay."
"Well, I guess I should get going. I'll see you at the hospital tomorrow?"
She just nodded with a smile and he headed for the door. As he reached for the handle she called out.
"Alex?" He turned toward her.
"Do you want to stay? My flashcards rival Callie's. Some would say they're more interesting too…" A smiled played at the edges of her lips.
