WINDOWS
CH 1- OPEN ALL NIGHT
DISCLAIMER- Once again, I own nothing. Dang it.
AN- Here's my next story! Super duper. I just got this idea in my head after thinking for a while. I don't remember what I was thinking about but this quote from Alan Rickman (the first line in the story) started it. Sorry it took so long to post. But it's long...
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I saw you coming from a mile away
Trying to hide behind that pretty face
Bet my last dollar baby you been bruised
Poor little heart all black 'n' blue
Last thing you need's another pickup line
You must have heard them all a thousand times
God only knows what you been through
Believe me I been broken too
It aches, it breaks, it takes your breath away
I've been around that block a time or two
Baby, I don't want to fall in love with you
I try, try, try but I can't get around the truth
Please don't say my name, give this heart a break
I don't want to make the same mistake but it's too late
I'll leave on the light
These arms are open all night
I got your taste in the back of my mouth
I want to reach in and pull it out
And I'd be lying if I didn't say
When you're this close I'm afraid
Of the way I'll feel if I touch your hair
The way I'll miss you when you're not there
And that I'll see you when I close my eyes
It's too late, I've crossed that line
It breaks, it aches, it takes your breath away
I'll still be around come closing time
Baby, I don't want to fall in love with you
I try, try, try but I can only tell the truth
Please don't say my name, give this heart a break
I don't want to make the same mistake but it's too late
I'll leave on the light
These arms are open all night
It's 2 am, it's last call, baby.
The barkeep's gone, I'll walk you home now
Save me, baby
Baby, I don't want to fall in love with you
I try, try, try but I can only tell the truth
Please don't make me beg, give this heart a break
I don't want to make the same mistake but it's too late
I'll leave on the light
These arms are open all night
"Open All Night" -Bon Jovi
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Someone once said, "Give me a window and I'll stare out it," and this was how I used to live. Staring out the window during Herbology class, watching people pass by and wondering what they were thinking about. A few times I'd make eye contact and wondered whether I could read their mind and if we were thinking the same thing. Sometimes, while I was at home, I'd just sit in my room and watch the birds hop around in the backyard, trying to escape the gnomes. Just a few finches and doves, nothing exotic or magical. I'd also watch the little kids play on the monkey bars in the park behind our house. I'd laugh at their childish antics and remark on how at peace they seemed to be; without a care in the world. I loved living other people's lives without them knowing I was even there.
But then I asked myself: What if you're afraid of what lies beyond that single pane of glass? What if something life-altering was lingering behind your drapes or curtains? Would you just pull down the shades and continue on as if you weren't really afraid? Or would you dare to take a peek at what could change your life?
I remember that day I took that dare, when I challenged myself to glance behind the drapes.
I was eight years old, at that age where every little thing was an adventure. I wasn't just cleaning my room; I was searching the world for the mutant bugs from Jupiter. No, I'm not taking out the trash. I am disposing the body of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Robin Hood and I have joined forces to steal from the rich and give to the poor. So, late at night, when the blinds were shut and the world was dark, I peeked through the barrier that separated me from the cruel, scary world. And I saw it. The one moment that I wasn't meant to witness. My father was arguing with another person, man or woman, I couldn't tell. Only my father's face could be seen because of the porch lights shining on him like a spotlight. His face had a look of both pure innocence shielded by fear. Usually, it's the other way around. And then it happened. A flash of light hit my father straight in the chest. An Unforgivable Curse. My father fell to the ground with a dull thud and I heard a woman scream. My mom ran to her fallen husband, her pained cries and mourning wails still echo in my head till this very dad. Ever since that moment, I've kept the shutters shut and the windows tinted, no longer yearning to be outside of my safe haven. Windows no longer fascinate me, or lead me into a new and beautiful world. Instead, hey remind me of my mother's screams just after my father's death and seconds before her own.
Fifteen years later and I've yet to break from my shell. I finished schooling at Hogwarts, excelling at Defense Against the Dark Arts. I took extra classes from my then teacher Professor Rosinette, encouraged by her to take her place should she choose to resign. That year, she did. I was only twenty-three and still at college, so they chose a different one. Five years later, I was asked by the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, to become the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, taking over since their previous teacher, Remus Lupin, resigned due to his lycanthropsy.
"I'd be delighted, Headmaster," I told him, when I arrived at the school.
The elder's blue eyes twinkled. "Good, good. Shall I show you your classroom?" As I opened my mouth to speak, he raised a knowing hand. "Yes, Miss Callahan, I know of your needs. As does this establishment. It has remodeled itself to accommodate you, adding several new chambers in its dungeons, each room including only one small window, out of sight and reach of yourself. Our potions master, Severus Snape, also resides in the dungeons, along with the Potions classroom and workroom. I am sure you will formally meet soon enough."
I had to refrain from hugging the old man out of thankfulness and gratefulness. "Thank you so much, Headmaster. You have no idea how much this means to me."
"It was not a problem, I assure you. Now, if you'd like, I could show you to your classroom and chambers."
"I would definitely like that, sir."
I followed him down a long, winding staircase into, what he said, was the dungeon. It sure looked like a dungeon. It was dark and damp, with the only light coming from the torches and floating candles. But it had a certain home-y feeling to it. The soft glow of the flames reminded me of the fireplace at my house and there was a really sweet smell coming from one of the chambers nearby.
"Severus must be brewing a potion. Shall we check in on him?" Dumbledore asked with a wicked glint in his eyes.
"Let's."
He pushed open the door and I was at once greeted by the mouth-watering fragrance.
"Hello, Severus."
"Albus, hello." A dulcet voice came from beside me. I turned and came face to face with the bearer of the voice. He had black hair like silk that framed his olive, angled features. With eyes that were nearly as deep and black as the greatest depths of the oceans, I found myself getting lost in them as he studied my own.
"Severus, this is Patricia Callahan. She is to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts. Miss Callahan, Severus Snape."
"It's a pleasure." That voice…
Finally finding my own voice, I replied, "Hello, Professor." I tore my eyes from his and turned to the boiling cauldron, its contents a dull green. "May I ask what you're brewing?"
"It's a healing potion. Made for minor burns and cuts. It's for the less fortunate in my class who choose not to pay attention."
"I was one of the fortunate then," I said with a small laugh.
"Patricia Callahan." He grew thoughtful. "Trish. You're a Slytherin."
"Yes, sir."
"I remember you now. You were Keeper for the Quidditch team, and a bloody good one at that. Haven't had one as swift as you since. You dated that boy… the Quidditch captain… he had a stupid name like KP or JL…"
"LP. It stood for Lawrence Paul."
"Yes. Are you still seeing him?"
"Well, I'm proud to say that we have since broken up. Not that my personal life is any of your business, anyway."
His eyes widened slightly before being replaced by some sort of amused gleam. "No, it is not. I am sorry to have barged."
"Apology accepted." I turned back to Dumbledore who had watched, in amusement, our reunion. "Now, Headmaster, if you don't mind, I'd like to see my chambers."
"Of course, Miss Callahan. Severus, I will see you at dinner, I presume?"
"I will be there, Albus. Nice to see you again, Professor Callahan."
"Professor Snape." I bade him farewell and left with a strange sensation in my stomach. I just told off my old professor!
"I must say that was quite a show you put on back there," Dumbledore remarked. "Not many can make Severus back down so quickly. I daresay that only I and yourself are capable of that feat."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that, sir."
"Though, it seems as if you were surprised at what you saw."
"Pardon me?"
"When you first saw Severus, you seemed- what's the word?- amazed at his appearance."
"He's changed."
"How so?"
"He's not as pale as he was when I was at school. He's certainly filled out, also. He's a little buffer. Lean, I guess you could say. He looks a lot better."
"I'm glad that our vacation did him some good. Minerva McGonaggal and I sent Severus to Greece for a week and he came back looking slightly healthier and in a much better mood than when he left. That's good. Here are your chambers. I shall leave you be. Dinner is in the Great Hall at six so I would take these few hours to unpack and get a feel of the castle. See you."
"Thank you so much, Headmaster."
"My dear, it has been my pleasure." He left with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes.
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My quarters were very well equipped with several Dark Arts neccesities, such as a copy of the Marauders Map (AN- Don't ask how she got it. I don't know. She just did.) and a Dark Magic detector, amongst other things. There were also several books on the Dark Arts, most of which I'd never heard of before. I smiled widely when I entered my bedroom. Enchanted posters of many different Quidditch teams brightened up the walls. Hanging lamps added light to the windowless room.
"I feel at home already," I told my cat, Slash, as I let him out of his cage. He padded around on my down comforter before deeming it acceptable and laying down.
Smiling to myself, I magically brewed a pitcher of tea and settled into a nearby armchair.
"Professor?" I heard a knock at my door and a spur of curiosity hit me. I just got here, who'd want me right now?
I opened the door and met my old professor once again. "Professor Snape, come in."
"I'd have to decline your other, but thank you. Seeing as to how you haven't wandered the corridors of Hogwarts in years, I was wondering if you would like me to give you the grand tour."
"Every time I would 'wander the corridors', you were the one who put me in my place. Mostly with your harsh words. You aren't going to verbally assault me if I say no, are you?"
"Of course not. You already beat me to it," he added with a smirk.
"Well, I'm sorry." I smiled. "I would love it if you could give me a tour. No mean words?"
"I'll try."
"I know that's a lie but I'll let it slide. Let's go."
We walked in silence at first, the only words spoken were by Professor Snape as he pointed out which doors belonged to which classroom. It felt odd, at first, walking through Hogwarts with my most hated professor. Though I was a Slytherin and had much respect for the man, I hated Snape as a person. But to be walking the halls with him some ten years later and laughing, I began to feel almost at ease with him. It was a welcome feeling after all these years.
"And the Great Hall. They have, of course, started dinner without us. Do these people have absolutely no manners?"
I bit back a chuckle. "It appears that they don't. Come, Professor, at least they saved us some seats."
"Heaven forbid we have to sit with the students," he muttered as we made our way to the head table. I tried to ignore the pointing and whispers but had no such luck. The few students that were already here now had thoughts about two of their professors being involved in a relationship. At a young second year girl's questioning look, I shook my head, squelching the rumors.
"Ah, Professor Callahan, Professor Snape, you made it." Damn that twinkle in the headmaster's eyes. "We gave up on you."
"We can see that. I was giving the new professor a tour of the school. You are hands down the most impatient man."
"Now, Severus, surely by now you have realized that I am only impatient when it comes to my food."
Snape glanced at Dumbledore's meatloaf and green beans with a hint of disgust. "I don't see why."
Dumbledore eyed Snape's shepherd's pie (AN- What the heck's he supposed to eat?). "And you truly enjoy that?"
"Be quiet, old man."
He chuckled and turned to me. "How do you like your chambers?"
"They're wonderful! The posters are magnificent. You really outdid yourself, sir."
"Why, thank you. And how is your dungeons-mate?"
"Professor Snape?" I caught Snape subtly looking at us out of the corner of his dark eyes. "He's a wonderful dungeons-mate, as you called it. He's changed a lot since I went to school. Nice guy, he is."
"Well, he's a blessing to this school, that's for sure. No one can quite brew a potion like him."
"Do you realize that I am right here listening to every word you speak of me?" Snape mumbled.
"Yes, but they are all nice words. I could just as well be calling you a greasy git."
"Professor Callahan, I get enough of that from the students."
"Ah, it's all a load of rubbish, trust me."
"If you say so." He went back to his meal as Dumbledore chuckled softly.
I do say so.
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It was the night before the students were to arrive and I couldn't sleep at all. Pre-teaching jitters, I guess you could say. I got out of bed and began walking towards the front doors, not watching where I was going and ran into someone else who was also roaming the corridors.
"Professor Snape, I'm sorry."
"Speak nothing of it. Just watch where you're going next time," he said roughly.
"Wow, I expected you to take points away." He glared at me. "Look, Professor, I'm not a student anymore, so quit treating me like one. I am your colleague now and I expect to get the respect I deserve."
"What, with all the respect you're showing me now? I think not."
"I don't expect us to be best friends, Professor. I will treat you with respect if you do the same for me."
"Fine." He glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes, muttering, "What are you doing out so late anyway?"
"I couldn't sleep so I'm going to walk around the lake."
"Would you like some company?"
"I'd like some decent company, but Peeves doesn't seem to be around so I'll just go by myself."
"I think I deserved that."
I sighed, realizing that I had gone too far. "I'm sorry, Professor. If you wish to accompany me, you may. Although, I'm not sure that I am great company. I'm a little nervous, so I tend to get kind of cranky."
"I see. And I thought it was a feminine problem."
We continued our walk to the lake in silence, each dwelling upon our own thoughts. I studied Snape as he walked and noticed that he wasn't wearing his usual billowing robes. He was wearing black slacks, a black button-up shirt, and a dark brown jacket with his hair pulled back in a low ponytail. (AN- Black, slacks, back… hehe.) He looked- dare I say?- quite handsome.
"Beautiful night," he murmured, staring up into the cloudless skies. "You know, I used to sit up in the Astronomy Tower and just study the stars. Of course, I was sitting there waiting to catch students out after curfew, but the stars were just an added bonus."
"That sounds like something you would do."
"Really? Am I that obvious?"
"Oh, no! in fact, you're actually very mysterious and it's quite difficult to figure you out."
He smirked and raised an eyebrow at my statement. "I suppose that's a good quality to have. I hear women go for the dark and mysterious. Although, it doesn't seem to be working for me."
"Maybe if you drop the whole smarmy git act, women will appreciate you more."
"Professor Callahan, I don't think that was necessary."
"You're right, sir. It wasn't." Shivering in the summer breeze, I turned back to the castle. "We should probably get back."
"Yes, we should."
As we began walking back, I felt Snape throw his jacket over my shoulders and I relished in the warmth it provided. It smelled of him: a mixture of various potions and a very nice sort of spicy smell.
When we reached my chambers, I was already falling asleep and having trouble unlocking my door. Finally, Snape took the key from me and used his wand to do the job. Putting an arm around my waist to keep my from falling over, he led me to my bed where he proceeded to remove my shoes.
Pulling the emerald green comforter up to my chin, he whispered good night but when I didn't hear the door click shut, I opened my eyes to find him staring at me. His dark eyes were showing a completely different side of him.
"Thank you," I whispered, my eyes closing shut.
He nodded curtly, hesitating with his next statement. "You're beautiful."
His voice was becoming distant and I sleepily murmured, "Mmhmm. Thank you."
Little did I know just how big a mistake that was.
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I slept in the next morning and found myself rushing to the Great Hall, not only hoping for a spot of breakfast, but also wishing to run into Snape. Well, I got one of the two and it was quite tasty.
Upon having no luck with finding Snape, I continued on to his chambers. This way, I could corner him and actually have a decent conversation with him. One that doesn't consist of sleepy agreements. He tells me I'm beautiful and all I could say was "Thank you"? God knows when he last told that to a woman! Why do I care anyway? It's not like his opinions mean anything to me.
But they do. They mean a lot to me. Whether I want to admit it or not, I actually cared for the man. I mean, not a lot, but enough to value his thoughts and he thinks I'm beautiful. Wow, helluva guy, that Severus Snape. He's like an enigma.
I banged loudly on his heavy wooden door. "Severus Snape, open this door!"
"Respect, Miss Callahan!" came the cold reply.
"Alohamora!" No luck. "Dammit. Please, Professor, open your door. I really need to talk to you."
The door opened with such force that it hit the wall and bounced back, hitting my outstretched and waiting hand. I stormed into the living room, searching for the professor. Ha, yeah right! As if he'd be in the one place I'd expect him to be.
"Professor Snape?"
"What do you want?" His voice was distant and tired. "I'm in my bedroom."
I followed the sound of his voice and found him sitting in an overstuffed armchair the emerald green of Slytherin. He was staring at a spot on the deep grey wall.
"Professor, we need to talk," I demanded.
"What about?"
"What you said last night." I could see him tense. "I heard you and I really meant what I said. Thank you. It means a lot to me."
He turned to me, his onyx eyes blazing. "And why would it mean anything to you? I'm just a smarmy git who is incapable of ever finding love because I don't know how to respect a woman!"
"Believe it or not, I actually care for you!" I yelled back. "When you drop the bastard act, you're actually a pretty nice guy! I'll admit, I could be a bitch sometimes-"
"Only sometimes?"
"What the hell is wrong with you? Why can't you just accept the fact that someone might actually have feelings for you?" My eyes widened when I realized what I'd said.
Snape went back to staring at the wall, but he looked a lot calmer. "Who might have feelings for me?" He laughed bitterly. "No one can love a Snape. It's impossible. We're lousy, power-hungry, good-for-nothing, sons of-"
I cut him off with a kiss. And not just a friendly kiss. This kiss was full of everything I've kept bottled up inside of me. Passion, anger, love, pain- every feeling that I've ever felt. I parted my lips slightly and felt him brush his tongue across my bottom lip. I unwillingly pulled away, in awe of what had just happened. Staring at Snape, I wanted to leave but felt my feet rooted to the ground.
As if reading my thoughts, he said softly, "You can go if you want to. Everyone else does."
Making up my mind, I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him again, this time more heatedly. I was unconsciously walking backwards towards the bed and he was following me. When the back of y legs hit the bedpost, I fell back onto the mattress, pulling Snape with me. By this point, I had removed his shirt and I was running my hands over his bare chest, amazed at how lean and muscular he was. He had the body of a swimmer.
"Wait… stop." He rolled off of me at my sudden request, his stoic mask pulled over his face. I sat staring at him for a while and tried to catch my breath.
"What exactly are we doing?" I asked him.
He shrugged on his black sweater. "What do you think we're doing?"
"We were about to have sex."
"Is that what you call it? After you declared your feelings for me, you call what we were doing sex?"
"What would you call it?"
He paused. "Not making love, that's for sure."
"Wait a minute. You know how I feel and, while I wouldn't call it true love, it's more than just puppy love. How do you feel about me?"
Sighing, he laid back against the pillows, looking sexier than he probably should have. "I've only been in love once, when I was in my sixth year at Hogwarts. She was so beautiful. Gods, she was beautiful. She was a Gryffindor and a year below me, but it was real love. We were together for six years. And then…" All sorts of emotions clouded his eyes. "The Death Eaters got them."
"Them?"
"She was four months pregnant with our first child."
"Oh, Gods… I'm so sorry, Professor." Although, I don't see what that has to do with me. I still don't know how he feels.
He didn't speak for the next few minutes and when he did, his voice was once again emotionless. "Professor… I don't like that. Just call me Severus. After all, we both seem to have feelings- of some sort- towards each other."
I smiled at this. So he does have feelings for me. "Okay, Severus. Then call me Trish."
"Very well, Trish."
"I should probably get back to my room."
"Right. Bye, Miss Calla- Trish."
"Good day, Severus." And here's the awkward exit. Should I kiss him? Should I hug him? Shake his hand? Before I could make a decision, he leaned in and brushed a kiss against my cheek. That wasn't so bad. Actually, it was kind of nice.
Whatever nerves I had dealing with the arrival of the students, they were soon overcome with thoughts of Severus. Not the usual thoughts of "That bastard is so not as hot as I think he is." or "I wonder if he's a good kisser…" Instead they were more like "Gods, he's hot!" or "He really is a good kisser."
And his mouth… it's hard to believe that that mouth used to hurl insults at me while I was at school. But now, his mouth is making me think so many indecent thoughts…. I think I like 'em.
AN- Weird place for an ending, I know. Next chapter, the students arrive, the relationship is uncovered, Trish and Sevvie fight and then have make up sex… Wow, this is a good chappie. Sorry, it's so long. I guessed that some have been waiting for this so the wait should be worthwhile. Reviews are always welcome.
