Title: See the Sun Again
Author: Battus philenor
Disclaimer: I own nothing CSI related.
A/N: This story was born out of an obsession with the Dido song See the Sun. If you are unfamiliar with it, go to my site (link on my main ffnet page) and go to Favorite Poems. While this concept has been done to death, I couldn't help myself. I wrote this story about 6 months ago, but was not happy with it. After sharing it with ShipperGirl a couple of months ago, she convinced me to do some work on it. So after adding a ton, I'm happier. Thanks ShipperGirl! It is complete, but I will be posting in sections. It's easier to proof first that way and quite honestly, the size is scary for me. A huge thanks goes out to Ghibli for her fine beta work and encouragement. I'll shut up now...
It was about five minutes before shift was to start, and Grissom was uncharacteristically nowhere to be seen yet. Sara was immediately worried given the fact that he was always at least an hour early.
Nick and Warrick were animatedly arguing across the table as to who was better at some inane video game when she caught sight of Catherine flying down the hallway towards them in the break room.
Between the look on her face and the speed with which she was traveling, mild worry turned to high anxiety. The coffee she'd been sipping on was pushed aside, suddenly not sure she would be able to keep it down.
The various scenarios that played through Sara's consciousness were quite numerous considering how quickly Catherine was moving, but everything from broken toe on the edge of the tub all the way up to horrendous car wreck ending with Grissom's funeral flashed through her head.
Breezing in with papers clenched tightly in her hands rustling, they announced her presence to the guys. Haggard and a little pale, all eyes were glued to her, the apparent bearer of bad tidings.
"Grissom's not coming in tonight," Catherine breathed out anxiously as she sat down at the head of the table. All recognized the significance in her taking Grissom's chair, his place of authority, one of the few he really had.
"I just came from Ecklie's office and Grissom won't be in for a few days. Apparently his mother passed away unexpectedly last night. So we're on our own, and for appearances sake anyway, I'm in charge."
She tried to sound nonchalant regarding her sudden shift into a supervisory role, but it didn't quite work. Even though temporary it gave her a moment to shine, to impress those who would be watching, perhaps for consideration for a future position.
All present around the table knew Catherine better than to believe she wasn't thrilled at the prospect of being in charge. They also knew that she was hurt by the fact that Grissom didn't tell her what was happening himself. So, nobody said a word about the little gleam that appeared in her eye.
Catherine's hurt made Sara feel better somehow though. She realized she was being petty, but she and Grissom had started to rekindle their fragile friendship after months of... what? Not friendship. Tension... and not a good tension. So even though Grissom hadn't called her, she felt better knowing that he didn't tell anybody else either, especially Catherine.
"Catherine, are there any details regarding the funeral yet?" Figuring that the services would take place in California, Sara hoped that the earlier she knew what was planned; the more likely the chances of her attending would be.
"I don't know, Sara. Gil didn't call me, and you know Ecklie wouldn't think to ask." She tried to act angry, but the sadness in her voice betrayed her hurt. "Knowing our fearless leader, he won't call to offer any info either. Okay, we have work to do, so let's get to it."
The next afternoon Sara did some research online, looking through the obituaries of a couple of local papers where Grissom's mother lived. Finding it, hidden between two long articles recapping the lives of two of the area's finest elderly citizens, she began to read.
The others were shrines really in comparison to the understated and simple offering for one Olivia Grissom. Reading through the small column of facts, she realized she was finding out more from the sparse footnote of this woman's life than she'd ever learned from Grissom.
Olivia Grissom had owned and ran a modest art gallery in town for most of her adult life. She'd also held various fund raisers to benefit the deaf community, one she was very active in since the loss of her hearing decades ago.
Pieces of conversation over the previous few years were suddenly falling into place for Sara. Little tidbits of information were suddenly huge admissions given this new context. His unending knowledge of art, while quite unusual for a scientist, now made sense; along with his more than general appreciation for the deaf, and his flawless signing skills.
Sara knew something else was trying to break through; there was another connection screaming to be made, but she let it go, content for now with this glimpse into the man, through his mother.
Armed with the day and time of the funeral, she was able to find a return flight; in and out the same day, leaving her to arrive just an hour late at work. She would get no sleep between shifts, but it wasn't as if she'd never done that before.
Two days later, she wore black on the plane, so she wouldn't need to waste time changing. Running late, Sara headed straight to the service. Most of the seats were taken so she decided to just sit in the back.
She could see him sitting alone, with no one in the few surrounding seats. His face was pale; making him look washed out. Coupled with the lightness of his graying hair and beard he looked more empty and desolate than she'd ever seen him. A part of him had gone when his mother went, of that Sara was certain.
Directly in front of him was the dark mahogany casket with its brass accents and billowy crème colored interior. All that could be seen from her seat were a few wisps of white hair and part of a woman's profile, carefully laid against the billowy pillow inside.
She stayed until the end, watching person after person passing their condolences along to Grissom and an older gentleman. Waiting until the place was empty save those two, she approached warily, uncertain to how he'd react.
His head was still hanging, slumped forward as if fascinated by his shoes, only looking up when she spoke.
"Grissom, I'm so sorry." Never removing her eyes from his she couldn't even be sure if he recognized her.
"Uh, thank you Sara." Captivated by his shoes again, his hand reached up to his eyes in a wiping motion. A lump formed in her throat immediately, as tears threatened to fall not for the first time for her that day.
The older man spoke then, in a voice so similar to Grissom's that Sara found herself staring at him, wondering how closely related they were.
"Sara, not the one from Las Vegas?"
Surprised that someone knew her she choked down the lump in her throat before answering.
"Yes, I'm uh, Sara, Sara Sidle from Las Vegas. I just flew out this morning."
"Well that was a lovely thing to do dear. Olivia would have been pleased. I'm William Livingston, Olivia's brother. Gil's uncle as it were." Reaching an arm up he gently patted the back of the broken man who stood with them.
"Will you be coming back to the house then Sara? We have some things out, you know, food things normally set out for these occasions." Removing his large hand from Grissom's back he brought it up sweeping a white curl back into place. Sara realized rather quickly which side of the family Grissom had gotten his lovely curls from.
"No, no I really need to catch a plane back; I just wanted to stop by for Gris— for Gil." Watching her face redden William let a smile creep over his wrinkled face.
"Still makes everybody call him by his last name does he?"
"Excuse me?"
"He's done that since he was a boy. The darnedest thing..."
"Oh well, I took a class, a seminar really, and it just kind of stuck." Looking at William, Sara realized she needn't have answered; he was lost in a memory. Eyes lifted up off to the left, glistening slightly.
The awkward silence prompted her to once again concentrate her attention on Grissom.
"Grissom, I have to be going now." He looked up at the sound of his name again, this time with a little more recognition in his eyes. "If you need anything, anything Grissom, please let me know." Leaning in she gave him a brief if not awkward hug. Pulling back from him she noticed the faintest of smiles on his lips.
"Thank you for coming, Sara. For... thinking of me. And I'll let you know if I need anything." Seeing disbelief in her eyes he added a hasty, "I promise."
She wanted to hold him; help him start to get through this awful pain. She knew it would be too much for him right now though. She still didn't think he realized she'd actually flown out there.
"Okay, I have to be going, William it was nice meeting you. Grissom, I'll see you in a couple of days?"
"Yeah, in a couple of days."
Turning she walked out of the funeral home, wishing she could stay and take care of him.
TBC
Battus philenor
