She wasn't sure what woke her from her lonely slumber, but young Anna suddenly found herself wide awake in the middle of the night. She heard a low rumbling of voices down the hall in the direction of Elsa's door. She quietly crept from her room and closer to the sliver of light shining on the wall in the hallway. The small girl shivered. She wasn't sure if it was from excitement or if the air around her had gotten colder. She poked her head around the corner. Sure enough, Elsa's door was open – she wasn't sure it could do that – and her ears picked up a vaguely familiar young voice.
"-s not working! I've been trying so hard, Papa. But I can't!"
"Conceal, Elsa."
"I can't do that either. I have no control! None at all. It's only gotten worse since…"
The distraught voice faded to muffled sobs. Anna's heart clenched in her chest. What was happening to Elsa? She crept closer.
"I miss Anna so much. It's been so long! She talks to the portraits, Mama! She shouldn't have to. Has she grown? Does she still love chocolate?" Then, quieter, "Does she miss me?"
"Of course I miss you!" Anna whispered back. She covered her mouth with her hand in panic, but her quiet call went unheard.
"I know, dear. But you know she can't be with you."
"I know. I… I could kill her. I almost did."
Kill me? Elsa would never kill me. What is she talking about?
The small voice trembled with a tumultuous question. "Am… am I a monster?"
"No… Elsa…" the deep voice trailed off in what seemed like uncertainty.
Anna itched to throw herself into the room and embrace her sister for the first time in forever, to hold onto her and never let go again, but a teary voice stopped her.
"I know that I must stay in here to protect her. So I will stay. Oh I wish I were dead!" she lamented suddenly. "Then I could never hurt her again. Would… would you tell her I got sick and died – and send me far, far away? Maybe then she could at least have some closure."
"No, honey, no. We love you, too. You're not a monster – you're our daughter," Mama's voice soothed.
"I hurt everything I touch!" a cold gust swept past the corner.
"It'll get better – you'll learn how to conceal and to not feel. You'll learn how to control it and as soon as you do, you can come out."
"But not until then," the younger voice finished for the king, "I will not risk Anna's life." A pause, and then, "Does Anna know I still care about her? Can I write notes to her?"
Anna's face lit up. She would love to get notes from her sister. Anything besides "go away, Anna," sounded amazing to her.
"It would be best to not get her hopes up."
She stifled a cry of indignation. Just what did they think they were doing?
"Then how can I let her know I miss her? That I love her more than anything?" The young voice was trembling and desperate.
Anna's breath hitched. Elsa loves me?
"She will understand someday, dear. I'm sorry, but we can't risk it."
Anna could hear her sister sobbing hopelessly and it took every scrap of self-control in her nine-year-old body to stay hidden. Tears pricked her eyes and her toes curled with mental anguish and from the cold. She heard her parents' footsteps echo in the room and a sense of alarm settled over her frame. She scrambled backward as fast as she could as the voices grew closer.
Leaving the corner with the dim lights and the haunting cries behind, Anna rushed into her own room and quietly closed the door. She slid to the ground, resting her back against it. Emotions warred on her young face as she tried to process what she had just witnessed.
Elsa…
The tears finally came. Her sister, oh her dear sister! Something must be horribly wrong. Anna crawled to her bed, nearly overwhelmed by all she had heard. She didn't try to wipe away her tears now. Rivulets of emotion poured down but Anna didn't so much as whimper.
Elsa cares about me. She misses me. She loves me! A wobbly smile stole onto her face.
Mama and Papa won't even let her write to me! Why? What harm could it possibly do? It's so unfair! Her face crinkled from indignation to outright fury. They have no right to keep her from me! She's my sister!
But… she sounded so scared. What is she so afraid of? She told them she's a monster – why? Elsa's not a monster. What does she have to control before she can come out? Why did they tell her to not feel? How do you even do that? The questions bombarding her mind calmed Anna's rage into plain confusion.
"But she is feeling," Anna whispered into the darkness. "She's feeling sad and lonely and… and hurting."
Elsa did say something about a monster. Anna gasped aloud. There's a monster keeping her captive in her room! It's making Elsa think that she herself is the monster! But she's not! Elsa could never be a monster. The horrid thing was confusing Elsa and - and it was hurting her! Tiny fists clenched on the blanket in anger and all the loneliness and pain she had felt were lost to a fierce desire for protective vengeance. Anna's eyebrows knit in determination – she knew what she must do.
Mere minutes later, a shadow crept down quiet moonlit hallways. It slowed as it passed a snowflake-patterned door, which was now firmly shut and dark, but carried on. A room full of two-dimensional faces stared impassively down as the obscure form slid from the shadow of the curtains. A midnight green cape hid the face of the diminutive visitor as she approached a gilded frame. When she spoke, her voice was grim and more serious than it had ever sounded before.
"Joan? I need your help."
The castle tower clock began to ring three in the morning as the same shadow flitted among the suits of armor. Timing her leap carefully, she pushed off of one suit and landed in the arms of another. The last strike of the clock coincided with the dull thump of a weapon against the thick carpet as the tiny warrior kicked it from a gauntlet.
With little measure of grace, the cloaked figure haphazardly cascaded from the grasp of the steel sentinel. The hood fell back to reveal a shock of red hair, already frazzled from her adventures. Tiny hands pulled the fabric back over her head as she stood to her full height, delighting in a small victory.
Anna grunted with exertion as she drug her chosen weapon down the hall. The maul clattered against something and she stopped to examine what had impeded her path. The glint of metal caught her eye and she paused in wonder to examine the shiny dagger that had evidently been dislodged in her escapades. She tucked it into her belt – a curtain rope – and moved on.
"Sir Anna" lifted her chin proudly and with great determination as she stood, arms and legs akimbo, before her adversary. She issued a quiet challenge.
"I, Sir Anna hereby declare an order! Thou salt… er… shalt, release my sister from your… thou… terrible cap-tit-ivy, you fiend!" Her voice squeaked in raw fury by the end, unfettered by the fancy words she had rehearsed all the way down the hall. She was shocked from her knightly persona briefly by the muted sound of shuffling from the other side of the barrier.
"A-Anna?" Elsa murmured timidly from behind that terrible door. Anna almost erupted in giddy joy to hear her sister call her name, but she knew she had to stay focused on her mission. It was the only way to rescue her sister, her Elsa.
"Don't worry fair maiden," she crowed in an artificially deep voice, "I am Sir Anna and I have come to rescue you!" A chill emanated from behind the door and a trembling voice answered.
"Anna… please don't… it's not safe…"
"Fear not! For I am brave and strong," Anna declared as she hauled the hefty maul across the hall carpet. "I will save you from the monster!" A muted gasp issued from the door, followed by a sob. Oh no.
"Elsa? ELSA?!" Anna's façade dropped and panic lent strength to her arms as she lifted the weapon and brought it down hard against the door. It shook under the assault and bounced the weapon back to the ground. Undeterred, Anna continued her efforts.
"Don't worry, Elsa! I'm gonna save you! I'm gonna get you outta there and you won't ever… have… to be scared… again!" The slams against the door got more and more frantic. Chips of wood began to fly even as the air cooled significantly. Anna didn't notice. She was a whirlwind of power, sending the steel thudding into the wood time and time again. Even after her parents appeared with a lantern and confiscated the maul, she was still flailing and shouting unintelligibly.
By three thirty in the morning, "Sir Anna" was banned from reappearing in the castle – ever, young lady – and was returned to her room. After her tired and irritated parents went back to sleep, Anna once again rousted herself from her bed. Grinning craftily, she left her room still wearing the green cloak and rushed back to her sister's door. She surveyed the damage she had caused with pride. It was a piece of work. The white wood was scarred and dented, crushed and shattered in so many places. Anna was surprised to find that the barrier wasn't as hard or thick as she first thought.
Maybe, just maybe…
The gleaming dagger was out in a flash. This would be quieter. This would work. The metal was well-honed and sharp. Though not made for breaking down doors, it was working well to silently scratch out shards of wood. The deepest scar from the maul was where she started, about chest height for the little girl. She didn't call out for Elsa this time – afraid that either her parents or the monster would hear her instead. She felt the wood bend under the probing tip of the weapon – she was almost through!
Then the wood finally gave way and Anna saw silky darkness beyond the shiny tip of the dagger. She gave the tool a quick twist to widen the hole, then bent down to look through. She was disappointed to find that it was dark – and cold. How could Elsa live in such a cold place?
The moon eventually slid from behind a cloud and Anna's breath caught as she saw her sister's room for the first time ever. It was dark and plain. There were no toys at all. She could see the bed across the room but it was empty. Anna's brow knit in confusion before she began scanning the room for Elsa. A sniffle startlingly close almost made her hit her head on the door, but then Anna looked down. At the very bottom of her visual range she saw a shape curled up on the floor. Anna identified a pale hand and the end of a light braid that cascaded from an obscure bundle hidden from the moonlight. Elsa!
Anna began to tremble. Why is she lying on the floor? Is she okay? Elsa! ELSA! She barely held back her whispers. Elsa had sounded terrified earlier. If her sister was asleep, then it would probably be best if she didn't wake up in fear. Maybe I can take down the monster before she even wakes up! Anna knew Elsa loved her. She knew Elsa would try to protect her from the monster again if she were awake. Maybe that's what Elsa had been doing all along in there, in the cold, alone. Not anymore, the little girl thought firmly. I may not be Sir Anna, but I'm still me and I'm still going to save you.
Anna tried the door handle but it had emerged from the fray unscathed and still very locked. She paused for a moment to evaluate the situation. The hole she had made was not far away from the door handle. Maybe if she could get her arm through, she could unlock it. Anna's face lit up at the idea, though her smile vanished as another helpless whimper issued forth from the figure on the floor on the other side. A tear threatened Anna's eye as she began to work at the door, taking care to not make a sound.
The bell tolled four in the morning as Anna finally managed to fit her arm through the hole just past her elbow. She grinned in delight, her heart in her throat as she stretched her arm out for the door handle. It was just barely in reach. Her now-roughened fingers brushed across the lock and she started back in surprise. It was freezing cold! Nevertheless she forced her fingers to examine the frigid object. She grinned; it was just like her own door handle! Twisting the locking mechanism with practiced ease, Anna froze at the muted click. Hardly daring to believe this was real, she reclaimed her arm and looked through the much bigger hole. Elsa had not moved, nor had she made a sound in all that time.
With more care than she knew she possessed, Anna slowly turned the handle. The door didn't squeak as she pulled it toward her. She found herself standing there, dagger in hand, dwarfed by the unfamiliar doorway, and felt a twinge of fear. But she fixed her gaze on the figure lying motionless a few paces into the room and her courage returned, as did her concern. Brandishing the dagger, she moved in. Step by step, head on a swivel and her eyes darting about, Anna surveyed the room. There was nothing there. Everything looked really shiny, though, as if covered in ice. Once convinced that there was no immediate danger, Anna dropped to her knees and crawled forward to her sister's side.
It was very cold in the room, but Elsa was only wearing a thin nightgown just like she used to. There was no blanket over her body, but she wasn't shivering. Still, she didn't look comfortable even as she breathed deeply in sleep. Anna felt her stomach turn at the sight of tear tracks drying on Elsa's still face. She marveled at how her sister had grown and how different she looked now.
Anna carefully reached toward her. She was relieved that Elsa didn't wake up when Anna touched her hand, but Anna was concerned at how cold Elsa was. This room was far too cold. Maybe the monster made it cold. It couldn't be good for Elsa. I'll take her to my room, then. It's nice and warm in there. The monster probably can't get her in there either. Her mind made up, Anna approached her sister with more confidence.
Anna was amazed at how slim and light Elsa was. It wasn't necessarily easy for her to pick Elsa up, but she managed. Anna was careful to do so slowly and gently. Elsa's head rested on Anna's shoulder and Anna could feel slow breaths touch her neck as she carried her precious burden out of the frozen room. She was panting by the time she reached her own room.
She carefully deposited Elsa's limp form on her bed and turned to shut the door. Ditching the cloak and dagger, Anna eagerly but carefully crawled onto the bed beside her sister. She examined Elsa closely for the first time in years. She was surprised to see wrinkles already forming on her young face, even though they were more relaxed in sleep. Elsa still felt cold, so Anna draped her blankets over the both of them and she laid down next to Elsa, pulling her sister close into a warm embrace. Gradually she felt Elsa's body grow warmer. The bite of the cold had receded and the worry lines on Elsa's face were gone. A little smile was almost visible at the corners of her mouth and Anna grinned. This was certainly a far cry from the scared and tormented girl from earlier.
Anna was beginning to get tired, but she refused to go to sleep. She didn't know how long she would have Elsa near and she wanted to take in every moment. Anna sat up and just looked at her sister. She tried to memorize her sister's features in case their parents insisted that their separation continue.
Anna's reverie was broken when Elsa took a shaky breath and whimpered again. The lines were back on her face and tears were leaking from her closed eyes. Anna couldn't stand to see her sister in such distress, but she wasn't sure what to do.
"Anna…" the muffled name issued forth from Elsa's mouth as her eyes moved behind closed eyelids. The girl in question froze, staring wide-eyed at the still-sleeping form beside her.
"Anna… no… I'm so sorry," Elsa murmured as her breath hitched. Her hands moved a little as if reaching for someone. Anna couldn't handle the pain in Elsa's voice, so she gently seized the searching hands and rubbed them with her thumbs.
"Elsa," she murmured. "It's okay! Whatever it is, it's okay." Elsa's body stiffened suddenly and her eyes flew open. She looked around in confusion before her focus landed on her sister.
"A-Anna?" she whispered, her face a mixture of awe, wonder, fear, and confusion.
"Yeah, it's me," the younger girl whispered back, her eyes alight with the joy of getting to talk face to face with her estranged sibling.
"Is… is this a dream?" Elsa murmured, her voice cracking. More tears fell from her eyes. The older girl looked so vulnerable. Anna almost defaulted to telling her the truth, but Elsa was starting to look very scared. So Anna lied.
"Yes, it is."
Elsa immediately relaxed and stared in open fascination at Anna's face.
"A very good dream," she whispered almost to herself. She lifted a hand before stopping suddenly.
"Then I won't hurt you?" she asked, fear returning to her eyes.
"No, of course not," Anna said, somewhat confused. She wanted as best as she could to comfort her sister. This had apparently been the right thing to say because Elsa's face lit up with a smile and she reached up to touch Anna's face. Her hand was warm now, not freezing like it had been before. Elsa brushed gentle fingers across Anna's expanse of freckles and cupped the girl's cheek in her palm.
"You've grown," she managed, before tears choked her voice again. Anna was beaming down at her, enthralled by the affectionate touch. Finally, Elsa opened her arms and Anna sank into her embrace with a sigh of relief. Tears started in her eyes too as Elsa held her close. Her ear was right over Elsa's heart and she could hear it beating hard and steady. She felt Elsa nuzzle into her hair and the gentle pressure of a kiss on the right side of her head registered amongst the other overwhelmingly wonderful stimuli.
"I'm so sorry about what I did, Anna," Elsa murmured, bringing one hand to stroke the light streak in the younger girl's hair.
"What do you mean?" Anna asked, not moving from her position.
"I hurt you. I didn't mean to. It was an accident and I'm so, so sorry," Elsa said, her voice dissolving into tears. Anna heard her swallow hard. The arms around her tightened and Elsa began to tremble, her breathing erratic in sorrow.
"Elsa," Anna soothed, rubbing the girl's shoulder gently. "It's okay! I forgive you."
"You… you do? Even after all this time?"
"Of course! I love you." She said it with simple honesty but great meaning, and it floored Elsa. The sobs came harder now, but Elsa didn't seem quite as upset. Her gasps seemed almost relieved.
"I love you too," she whispered into Anna's hair as they clung to one another, reveling in the closeness. Anna could feel sleep pulling at her eyelids. She wanted to stay awake with Elsa, but judging by the sound of slow deep breaths under her ear, Elsa had already fallen asleep. Anna focused as hard as she could on memorizing everything about this perfect moment. The tingle of splinters in her fingertips and the ache in her shoulders from the work she had done were forgotten. Instead, Anna focused on the warmth of her sister's soft body, and the rocking sensation every time she breathed, and the pulsing beat of her heart, and the warm bands that were Elsa's arms wrapped around her body, and the feel of the soft nightgown against her cheek, and Elsa's unique scent she hoped she would never forget. Peacefully encased in everything that was Elsa, Anna drifted off to sleep.
Anna woke up around mid-morning. She rolled over groggily in her empty bed. Then her eyes widened and she sat up with a jolt. Elsa! She turned about, looking for her sister. But Elsa was nowhere to be found. Was it a dream? It couldn't be a dream! The little girl was starting to panic. But then she bent down to the place where Elsa had laid last night. She buried her face in the pillow and breathed deep, recognizing the lingering scent. There was also a single blonde hair clinging to her pillowcase. Hands shaking, Anna carefully collected the strand and held it close to her heart as a tear made its way down her cheek.
Down the hall, Elsa woke up in her own bed, blinking and trying to remember her dream. For once, it wasn't a nightmare. She smiled as she recalled the wonderful dream. Anna. Holding Anna, touching her, talking with her, not being afraid of hurting her. She forgave me, Elsa remembered suddenly. She said she loves me. Her face fell a little bit. Was it really just a dream? But then, looking down at the front of her nightgown, Elsa gasped. A reddish hair was caught in the threads. Elsa pulled it free and just stared at it, trying to process what might have happened. She looked across the room to see a different, new door in place, but there were strange fragments of wood littering the ground below it. And stranger still, there wasn't a shard of ice in her whole room. For once, Elsa felt warm. She smiled.
The king and queen had all weapons taken off of display that afternoon. Anna was denied chocolate for a week as a punishment for her behavior. She wasn't even upset – it was worth it. She'd do it again in a heartbeat. Her remaining questions about the monster that bothered Elsa went unanswered and her requests to see her sister again were denied. She tempered the number of times she asked Elsa to build a snowman with her. Instead, she took to whispering, "I love you, Elsa," through the keyhole. Sometimes she heard a barely audible voice respond with, "I love you, Anna."
Anna looked at the blond hair every night, not knowing that across the hall behind a new, stronger door, her sister gazed on a reddish strand that had come to symbolize forgiveness and love. It gave Elsa the courage to fight the monster within. With the tiny memento in hand, Anna found it easier to recall the details of that one night in which Sir Anna rescued Princess Elsa and fell blissfully asleep in her arms.
