Man Meats Boy

Miles Peterson was a man with many strengths. He kept his word, he did his taxes on time, he made a killer grilled cheese sandwich and he knew how to get on Jesus's good side. If he had one weakness, it would be that he loved God too much. WAY too much.

Coats, otherwise called Coats, was as loyal as a dead dog. He loved God too, but not as much as Miles. Coats and Miles spent many years together, loving God. On one fateful day, they were praying for the children to stop doing their crazy drugs when a portal opened up in the middle of the BibleCave. A man made of meat appeared, otherwise known as Super Meat Boy, and began his greetings with the expletive.

"Oy! Either o' you two porkies seen my girlfriend?" Asked Super Meat Boy, his non-lips spewing bits of raw meat as he spoke.

"What she look like?" Asked Coats, with lust in his eyes.

"Is she a woman of Jesus?" Asked Miles, speaking with the authoritative power of God Himself.

"What're you two lambchops blabbin' about? She's made of bandages!" Super Meat Boy yelled with meatitude.

Miles and Coats broke into song and dance, singing about doing the time warp again. After doing that, they asked Super Meat Boy what he thinks happened to his girlfriend.

"She got took, yo. You beefcakes know about Doctor Fetus?"

The beefcakes did know about Doctor Fetus, in fact, they just didn't know about it yet. Years later, in an alternate dimension, Doctor Fetus would mature into the evil Doctor Fear, and will share many epic battles with our heroes.

Miles was furious. "Who does this Doctor Fetus think he is, kidnapping is a sin against God!" Miles was furious.

"Dawg, we got yo' back, Meat. Miles, get yo' digs on and lets turn it loose!" Coach was channeling the essence of the ghetto. Growing up on the streets, Coatchs learned a lot about life, love, and the Bible.

Miles turned to the computer. "Sword of Justice! Helmet of Faith! Chainmail of Love! Power Gloves! Jesus vest! Pants of – " Miles's voice was cut off as Super Meat Boy spoke out of line.

"How long does this normally go on for?" Super Meat Boy questioned, with meaty vigor.

After that, all was quiet in the BibleCave. An aura of darkness grew. Miles, now Bibleman, was furious. "You don't interrupt my intro sequence! Now I'm wearing no pants!"

Bibleman was wearing no pants, but they didn't have enough time to fix that. They sped off in the Biblemobile to stop the evil Doctor Fetus.