Why isn't Love so simple?

Disclaimer- I don't own any harry potter characters

What's happening to me and why is this happening? Have I been too vain in thinking that he will always be there- asking me out, devoting most of his leisure time in stalking me...Irritating me.

Wasn't this my first and foremost wish that he should leave me alone? Then why am I feeling like this as if someone stole my most precious possession from me.

Why my eyes always turn towards him whenever he enters the room.

Why is he occupying all the space in my mind? The space which should be filled with studies, exams and my head duties instead of the head boy himself.

Why I get jealous of everyone he talks to? Why me who prided herself in her cool and calm nature gets all jittery and shy whenever he is in the same room as me or even when his name is mentioned..

Why god why?

Why his not talking to me is creating such havoc in my orderly world? Why am I craving for just one word, one glance from him.

He is a prat, proud and an arrogant toe rag for Merlin's sake! Not any more- My heart whispered to me..

I had to admit it He has changed..Since that incident in fifth year by the lake when I lost my best friend, not once he had hexed any innocent bystander. Though he and his friends called "The Marauders" pulled occasional pranks but they were harmless and funny.

U have to admit it they have got style. Even professor McGonagall find them funny, Though she has given them the highest number of detentions, I have seen her lips twitching at their every prank.

He has also not once asked me out..What's so important in that? He used to do that every hour of a day for Merlin's sake... and to top this all why are my friends looking at me with pity in their eyes.

Oh Merlin!

I am pathetic. This was what I wanted and when I finally got that why am not enjoying it.

Merlin don't tell me after all these years of his stalking me .I finally fell for him and that too after he got over me..Wow great...he'll definitely feel triumph that he finally got me to love him.

Yes...

I Lily Evans finally admit that I have fallen in love with James Potter..

The only problem is that he finally got over me..

Why isn't Love so simple?