Hey Guys,
I'm so sorry it's taken me a while to get back on and actually post something. I have been busy and wrapped in my personal life and haven't found the time to write anything but luckily for me I have 2 weeks Easter holidays so hopefully I'll be updating more. Anyway hope you enjoy
Kiimiixxx
Derek took a deep breath and closed his eyes as the memories of him and Stiles flooded his mind. It was in the middle of winter, the snow was heavy and the air was ice cold. Derek stood still as he remembered all the petty arguments, the hurtful things he said that he longed to have taken back and everything they once had.
The feelings of regret, resent, grievance and love burned inside him. He looked at the sky which was grey, filled with clouds and the snow falling down gentle touching the hidden grass. Derek stood there in complete silence trying to hide his feelings, the true feelings he wanted to show but couldn't.
He couldn't cry, to him crying is a sign of weakness and being an alpha he couldn't show any weakness. No matter how he wanted. He remembered how Stiles annoyed him all the time with his cute but childish attitude, How Stiles complained about the way Derek did anything, Stiles nicknaming him Sourwolf and how Derek actually did love Stiles like no else.
Derek regretted leaving; He remembered when he told Stiles he was moving away Stiles was heartbroken. He kept saying 'you can't leave, you're the alpha what about your pack, what about me?' At the time Derek didn't think anything of it. He told Stiles 'forget everything stop caring and tell yourself I don't love you.'
Derek regretted saying that, he wished he could have taken it all back and stayed as his mate wished. He sucked in a deep breath trying to stop him from crying as his mind wondered to the day he left. He was at the airport about to board the plane when Stiles ran in Screaming 'Derek, You can't go yet.' Stiles ran up to him giving him a wrapped box and told him to open it when he landed.
Derek just turned around and said 'Goodbye Stiles, I love you.' before walking onto the plane and not looking back. When he boarded the plane he remembered opening the box Stiles had given him. Inside the box was a photo frame with pictures of them together. Derek was shocked and even to this day he was.
Derek regretted moving now, he knew that Stiles' father hated him along with all of his 'friends'. If he hadn't of moved Stiles wouldn't have come to visit, He wouldn't of had to take a plane and then the plane crashing now killing him.
Derek felt responsible like it was his fault Stiles died. Derek collapsed on the ground in front of Stiles' snow covered grave. Derek began to cry and sob. 'I'm sorry Stiles, I'm so sorry for everything. I miss you and I love you. It's not the same without you here. It's my fault you are gone, please forgive me. Please.' Derek cried for ages before leaning forward and kissing Stile's head stone.
Derek had felt responsible for Stiles' death, He loved Stiles more than anything in his own way Stiles meant everything to Derek. Stiles annoyed Derek, drove him up the wall and drove him batty but at the end of the day Stiles completed Derek. Complimented him and loved him. They were soul mates, now Stiles was gone Derek didn't see the point in trying anymore. He didn't want to live if Stiles wasn't by his side; he was empty and was nothing without Stiles.
