When the Normandy finally left Earth's orbit, Shepard let out a breath she felt she'd been holding since she saw the Reapers arrive on Earth. They were finally here and there was nothing she could do about it. She was just one person. They were far from ready to defend themselves against the Reapers. The fleet that was protecting Earth had been decimated in a matter of minutes.

Shepard kept staring at the giant cargo bay doors. She didn't know what to do. For the first time in her life, she had no idea on what course of action to take. She had witnessed a lot of civilians being shot and blown up by the Reapers, and that little boy... he didn't deserve that. None of them did. She was used of seeing people die, but this was different. This was her homeworld, her people that were getting slaughtered. There was no way she would let those machines win. And that thought was all she needed to get her head back in the game.

Kaidan had helped her get on the Normandy when they escaped. How he ended up on the ship was beyond her understanding, but right now she was too frustrated to think about that. All she wanted to do was to kill something. That's when she heard footsteps coming from behind her. Oh great, what now? she thought.

″Hey.‟ a voice said. Shepard could have recognized that voice anywhere. It felt good to see Kaidan again, but after all the things that happened, she wanted to be as far away from him and everything else as she possibly could.

She couldn't hold it inside her anymore... She slowly turned around to face him and said "Really? That's all you got to say? Hey?!‟ Kaidan was confused. He didn't know what she was talking about. He just looked at her, puzzled."Seriously?!‟ she asked, infuriated.

"Shepard, I don't...‟

"Argh, for crying out loud...‟ That was it. Her patience was gone. She grabbed him by the wrist and shoved him somewhere behind the Kodiak, so no one could see or hear them. James looked at them, or more specifically at Alenko. He didn't like what was he was seeing and stared at Kaidan suspiciously until he lost sight of him.

Shepard threw her arms in the air, exasperated. After a long silent moment, she sighed loudly and said ″First, you call me a traitor and tell me that I betrayed you and everyone else, even my own principles! Then, you send me a letter telling me that you're sorry? You couldn't even say that to my face!‟ As she kept talking, Kaidan bowed his head, ashamed for all the things he had done to her. He didn't mean what he had said, except for the part that he loved her... and he still did. But when he saw how much it had affected her, how broken she was, he just couldn't look at her.

After she finished, he said, still looking at the ground ″Look, I'm really sorry for how it turned out on Horizon...‟

She scoffed, cutting him off ″Yeah, that makes two of us.‟

He desperately tried to explain himself for his behavior. ″It's just... I've spent two years mourning you, thinking about you. I couldn't accept the fact that you were gone and it tore me apart to do so. I kept seeing your face every time I closed my eyes. I kept reliving that night before Ilos every time I went to sleep... when I wasable to sleep. I just couldn't let you go.‟

″Really? I don't think that's what that 'doctor on the Citadel' would say.‟ This time, there was no anger or exasperation in her voice. There was only sadness. She still had difficulty accepting the fact that he might have replaced her, but she died after all. So it was kind of normal that he moved on, but it was still hard for her to accept it. ″I already told you: it was nothing serious.‟ he said slowly.

″Then why did you fucking mention her?!‟ Aaaaand, there was the anger again. Kaidan was taken aback by her expression. She rarely swore. She did so only when she was alone, or in this case, if she was really really pissed.

For the first time since the beginning of their conversation, Kaidan had nothing to say. She was right. Why did he have to mention her? To make sure Shepard wouldn't be surprised if she saw her being a bit too friendly with him? Or to make her jealous? Still, he shouldn't have done that. There was no good enough reason for what he did.

Shepard now had her back facing him. She sighed once again, not caring to look at him and the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. He wanted to see if perhaps she was crying as well, if that was why she wasn't facing him. ″Shepard, please, talk to me.‟ He grabbed her wrist to make her turn around, but she shrugged him off and told him, looking directly in his eyes. ″Oh now? Now you want to hear me out?! Well that's a first! I mean, you didn't seem to care about how I felt on Horizon. All you cared about was your feelings and how much you felt betrayed. How do you think it felt to lose two years of my life in what seemed like minutes? How do you think it felt to die?‟

She was really good at making him feel bad, wasn't she? Though he did know, at least a little, what it was like to die. When Shepard past away, a part of him died with her and his life felt empty without her, like it wasn't worth living anymore. All he wanted was to be with her, but he couldn't and that was the hardest part of all.

He was about to say something, but Shepard rose her hand and cut him off. ″Look. I got more important stuff to worry about right now, like saving a galaxy perhaps? So if you really want to finish this conversation, we'll talk later, but right now, I gotta go.‟ With that being said, she walked out of their hiding place and walked toward the elevator. When James saw her, he asked her if she was ok. He could see how hard she was trying to keep her composure as a single tear escaped from her eye. She simply answered ″Yeah, I'm just great.‟ and kept walking.

James looked at her, concerned and turned around to see Alenko staring at him, his eyes red and puffy.

Shepard wiped the tear away and climbed in the elevator. As the doors were about to close, a hand blocked them. Kaidan got in the elevator with her. As it slowly ascended to her cabin, he finally said ″I can't believe it.‟

″What is it now?‟ she asked, her arms crossed on her chest, not even caring to look at him.

″You... and him?‟ He had difficulty saying the last two words.

Now she couldn't believe it. What did he just say? ″Excuse me?‟ she asked. This time, she was the one that didn't understand the question. ″Come on, don't lie to me. I saw the way he looked at you. There's obviously something between you two!‟ He was trying to stay calm and not to show any jealousy or pain, even though he was feeling both, but failed completely.

″For your information, Major Alenko, even if it's none of your business, there is nothing between James and me. He's a friend, that's all. He's just concerned for me, because that's what friends do: take care of each other. Not that you would know...‟ That last sentence broke his heart into millions of little pieces. He felt as if a krogan just charged him in the stomach and crushed his heart. ″Why not? It's not like anything's stopping you.‟ He regretted saying those words the moment they left his mouth. He did not just say that. Shepard thought.

As the doors of the elevator opened, she placed herself between the door and Kaidan and looked at him for the first time since he got in the elevator. She was about to yell at him, but when she saw his eyes and the tears running down his cheeks, her expression softened and her anger dissipated. ″You want to know what's stopping me, Kaidan? You are. I thought you would have figured that out by now.‟

She looked at him one last time then turned around and left him alone in the dark elevator before he could see the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.