DISCLAIMER: I do not own any thing from 13 Reasons Why I just wanted to write an alternate ending. Please enjoy! Let me know if you would like me too continue and write more!
"...Hannah"
*echoing in the distance*
"Hannah can you hear me!?"
*blurred but becoming clearer*
"Hannah... please, wake up..."
*becomes clear but vision is blurry*
"Hannah! Oh my god she's alive, Andy she's alive. Oh my god"
I wake up too see bright lights, and my mom standing over me crying while running along side me. Where... am...I? I'm not dead..? Goddammit what the fuck is happening. I try to get up but immediately shoot back down as I feel the excruciating pain in my arms and feel light headed. Oh... right. Shit I'm alive? How..? I try to speak but the pain is too much and I just moan in agony.
"Victim is 17 years old with lacerations in both wrists, an attempted suicide. Vitals are stable but she's lost a lot of blood..."
*still echoes a little*
I can hear the doctor but I can't comprehend it. I'm wheeled quickly into a room and am immediately surrounded by people. My anxiety is starting to act up as they touch me. It feels like they are suffocating me. Then I feel a pinch in my leg and flinch and start to feel relief. The pain is starting to go away, that must've been an IV. I start to feel my eye lids droop, and everything starts to go dark. And all the nurses and doctors voices start to echo.
"Wheres... my... m-m- mom.. da-?" I slowly say and am not able to finish my sentence when darkness completely takes over the room and the noises become silent. The beeping of machines, the murmurs of people, hands all over me, instruments colliding all seize.
Am I gone for good now...? Is this death..? I regret this, I really regret this. Maybe I could've made it up too helmet. I could've explained myself. Got my job back at the Crestmont. I could've talked to someone else other than that shit Mr. Porter. Maybe I could've tried life one more time. Shit. My life was gone..? Does anybody miss me..? I don't know.
I slowly wake back up to notice I'm in another room. It's bright, and I flinch as the sunlight hits me. Am I alive..? Again...? I look around and see my mom and dad sitting by me crying and holding eachother.
"M..m..mom?" I say weakly as I feel really drained.
"D...d..dad..?"
They both look up and their facial expressions immediately change and they almost start crying more tears but this time they are tears of joy.
"HANNAH! Baby...your alive. Thank god." My mom says weeping into my shoulder.
"I thought we lost you baby... we love you. So so much. We thought you were gone." My dad says not even trying to hold back the tears.
They do care. If I wouldn't of made it I would've left them behind too suffer. I didn't think about that. It hurt so much to see them like this. The pain and fear in their eyes but they still hold love in their hearts. What was I doing. I can't do that too them. I can't believe I almost did.
"Mom.. d-dad... I'm s-s-so sorry." I say as I feel the tears build up in my eyes. They say nothing but just hug me. And continue to cry in my arms.
"It's okay baby. Your alive. That's all that matters." My mom says with a smile that I know is genuine.
"Why did you do this Hannah... just why...? You were so happy... or so I thought." My dad says with his voice cracking as he is about to cry again.
"I was tired of feeling pain dad. I was tired of being hurt." I say choking up. "I just didn't want to be hurting anymore..." I manage to say through the waterfalls of tears.
They both looked at each other in confusion but said nothing and continued to hug me. After what seems like ages a doctor walks through the door and both of my parents sit up straight and wipe away their tears.
"Ah. Your awake! That's great. Hi I'm Doctor Barber, it's nice too see you doing good ." She says with a smile and gives out a sigh of relief at the same time.
"Thanks." I say returning the smile. Still unsure of what to exactly do now.
"There will be a psychologist coming in soon to talk too you so don't be worried. They just wanna check up on you. I'll be in in a little while to see how your doing alright?" She says and heads out the door waiting for an approval from me so I shake my head and she calmly walks out the room and immediately after I suppose the psychologist walks in and gives me a smile. Oh god I'm gonna have to talk about what I did. Shit I don't know if I can yet.
My mom and dad look at him and take it as a que to go get food or be outside. To go anywhere but in there. So they get up and my mom says "I love you honey I'll be right back." "I love you too Hannah be right back." My dad says following my mom.
"So! Hannah. How are you feeling?" He says too perky. I already know what he's gonna ask so I'm not gonna waste his time.
"I've been better. Look I don't really want to talk about it yet so I don't really want you to waste your time trying." I say as stern and gently as possible. He kinda scoffs and looks at me understandingly.
"I understand. When your ready just ring me up with the hospital phone right there and let me know. I hope you feel better." He says nicely and walks out. That was easier than I thought. I look up at the tv and see they are playing a cheesy romantic comedy movie and signal a fake gag and try to look for the remote.
"I didn't take you as the cheesy romantic kind. I think everybody has their soft side for those types of movies." I hear a familiar voice and look up to see Clay standing in the doorway. My heart leaps and my chest flutters. I've never been so happy to see him in my life. I laugh and look up at him thinking of what to say back.
"Helmet..." i say quietly and in disbelief
"Your totally right Helmet. I just cant get over Chris Evans in this movie. He's so hotttt." I say mockingly and laugh at his disgusted face.
"Are you kidding? Zac Efron is so much better." He says very sarcastically. He's so much different than all the rest of the guys. I missed this.
"Your so adorable." I say adoring him.
"Theres that word again." He says looking down. But his facial expression quickly changes as he walks towards my bed.
"Hannah... I'm. I'm so sorry." He says with such dismay.
"Clay. No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said back at Jessica's party." I said sorrowfully. I regretted it so much.
He looks at me with what looked like some relief and hurt in his eyes and walked to the side of my bed, held both of my hands and sat down.
"I shouldn't of left. I should've stood my ground. I just didn't want to hurt you Hannah." He says with lots of remorse.
"It's okay helmet. I told you too leave. And I shouldn't have. I wanted you to do everything you were doing." I start to blush thinking of what could've happened if I didn't stop him. "My mind took me everywhere else and I started to think of Justin. And Bryce. And Marcus and everyone became you and I got angry and scared and embarrassed. I'm sorry." I look up at him too see him blushing too but looking up at me and staring at me. It made me feel insecure, even in a hospital gown he was looking at me like I was the only person in the world. He also looked confused. 'Crap he doesn't know about Bryce and Marcus yet.' I thought too myself.
"Your such a good guy Clay... I just... I don't-" he cut me off before I could finish.
"Don't even say that you don't deserve me. Hannah, your so beautiful and funny and sweet and I have..."
*takes a deep breath*
"I was scared I would never be able to tell you this. But I've fallen in love with you ever since I walked into the Crestmont on my first day of work and you taped the 'TRAINEE' sign to my chest." He let out a little laugh. "I knew then that you would make a huge impact on my life, which you did. So don't say for a second you don't deserve me. Because if anything I don't deserve you. Your quirky, brave, you make me smile and brighten up my day without even trying. ... I love you Hannah..." he says with sincerity and his whole face is red.
This was honestly the sweetest thing anyone has ever said too me. Ever.
"I love you too helmet. I always have I just never realized until recently.." he smiles his handsome smile and that was to much for me too take. Luckily he leaned in and kissed me lightly but perfectly. He was perfect. The longer we kissed the deeper it became. And the more it was filled with need and satisfaction. He sighed into the side of my mouth as we broke apart. And he mumbles.. "Im so glad your alive." I replied, "Me too." And I smile with a feel of guilt. I realized I would've affected him too. How much? I would've killed him inside and possibly on the outside. I sigh a sound of relief as I finish this thought and just looked into his blue eyes. His eyes were an ocean that I was drowning in and didn't want too be saved.
He. Was. Just. Perfect...
