A/N: So this 'fic' is actually two loosely connected one-shots. Or actually there might be three, haven't decided yet, but the point is, they are all connected to this song, so it would have been pointless to make them separate fics. In other words, this is a collection-fic for a few Light/L fic's of mine.
This is the first one which I, ironically enough, didn't mean to write at all. This is a fast-written scrap of Light's cruel set of mind and somewhat absolute denial of his love for L. This was originally meant to be PWP but since I don't write lemon too well, it just sort of came out as a 'not-porn without a plot'. Although, if you take PWP meaning 'plot? what plot?' then I think it'll suffice.
Enjoy if you will. And review! I don't mind if you don't have nothing constructive to say, I just wanna hear something.
Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Ohba and Obata, the song, from which I loaned the lyrics and the title, belongs to Placebo.
Battle For The Sun; About Winning And Losing
I will battle for the sun
And I won't stop until I'm done
You are getting in the way
And I have nothing left to say
I will brush off all the dirt
And I will pretend it didn't hurt
You are a black and heavy weight
And I will not participate
Light quite enjoyed of the current state of his all-so-mighty little detective friend who was, against all odds, fallen helplessly asleep besides his main suspect. Light smirked as he gently brushed a hand through the messy hair falling down in a mild attempt to hide L's peaceful face. It was so rare to see him like this, to see him so vulnerable and open. Light quite appreciated the sight. Even more so now, after the handcuffs were dropped and he didn't have any doubt about himself or his motives. He knew now and it was all exactly as he wanted it to be. L trusting to sleep besides him was just a bonus, just a little something to make his victory a bit tastier.
Light knew it was a bit cruel to think like that, he wasn't stupid after all. He knew what was wrong and what was right. But he also knew that L has brought all of this for himself and that L deserved every bit of what Light was doing to him. L had lost in this little game of theirs and now Light was just collecting the prize L was bound to pay. There was nothing wrong taking a bit pleasure out of all this mess they were in.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover
Dream brother, my killer, my lover
I will battle for the sun
'Cause I have stared down the barrel of a gun
No falling
You are a cheap and nasty fake
And I am the bones you couldn't break
Back in the time, when Light didn't actually know he was Kira, it was always slightly lost from him, why did he felt so good seeing L break under him, most importantly feel him break and loose control. Those desperate gasps for air and every single word uttered with that husky voice shot always straight through Light's spine and, though he tried to deny it, the pleasure of it was more than just sexual: it was also the power, the domination and, most of all, his archenemy moaning underneath him. Even when he wasn't fully aware of his identity and memories, he still loved L surrendering for him, bleeding for him and asking for more.
Of course, he would never admit any of that aloud, although L might have seen it in his eyes every now and then, if the man was even able to summon any logical thought while Light was inside of him, thrusting him into mattress as hard as he possibly could. At least judging by the look on that lustful face, Light might say the man now lying next to him has no idea. But when it came to L, you could never tell for sure what did he knew and guessed.
Light sighed not ripping his eyes off the detective who was quite in a good speed consuming his barely existing thumbnail.
"Light..."
It was just a faint gasp. L was clearly still asleep and apparently dreaming of his so-called lover. It put a smile back on Light's face. Oh, how sweet his world was. If only he could keep this particular phase going on for a little while longer and just enjoy his win forever: his L lying helpless in his arms begging him to love him, those cute eyes hunting for a little kiss. Oh, how perfect.
Because Light knew L was in love. L had never actually said it, but it was so sweetly obvious from the way L sometimes slipped and erroneously referred their random sex as to 'love making', and it was so apparent especially from the way L more than often opened his mouth to say those things his eyes were screaming but then came to his senses and kept his mouth shut. And the way his breathe quickened ever so often when Light just stood close enough or the begging look of those misty eyes after Light's kisses. Even if Light didn't love L, he sure loved how the man had involuntarily and all so endearingly fallen for him as easy as any school girl, even though he had sworn to be untouchable and inviolable.
It was first quite a shock for Light to realize exactly what he was doing to the detective. He didn't originally plan to hurt L in such a level and at the time being, Light even had to recheck whether he felt the same for him. Although, Light never got to really finish his brief self-contemplation since the case and the whole Yotsuba incident got in away, but after all, Light was fairly sure that what ever he might have thought he might have felt for L, was just him being confused over his own little memory-loss dilemma. He was Kira and L was just a child playing a dangerous game. There was no way Light would be in love with him and even if by some miracle he was, it didn't make any difference. He wanted his perfect world more than he needed anyone to love him. Love was quite vain feeling and Light had already seen what it was capable of; it has destroyed L right in front of his eyes, hasn't it? Light didn't need that kind of love. He was a God after all, it was people whose love he needed not L's, so there wasn't any question of it. It was all clear from the moment he touched the notebook again. Now he knew what he wanted and he was also going to get it.
L shifted in his sleep and repeated Light's name with a weak voice as Light ran his hand through the other boy's hair once again. L moved his hand from his lips to Light's chest and tangled his long fingers loosely on his t-shirt. Light laughed silently for the sweetness of the man's childlike action and wrapped an arm around him, pulling L closer to him. Yet still unaware, L accepted Light's warmth and snuggled himself onto Light, holding firmer on the younger's shirt, as if his life would depend on it.
Light smiled and brushed a light kiss into the bundle of black hair.
"Sleep now, sugar."
Dream brother, my killer, my lover
Dream brother, my killer, my lover
I will battle for the sun
A/N2: Uh, I think I'll edit this soon. There must be a lot of mistakes. I should get beta.
