My life is going no where, I say to myself as my head hangs off the sofa, my legs are around his neck and I'm waiting for the drugs to kick in; he didn't hear me, he never does or just never answers. I take another deep breath and sigh.
"Dominic," My head rolls side to side, "When are you going to marry me, Hun?" My legs slide down his sides, and I feel his hand grip them. My head turns to look him in the eye and I feel a wash of relief splash over me, I couldn't help the big smile on my face when I see his ice like eyes and sharp smile. "What would I do with out, Dominic?" I ask and there's a shake in his head as he turns back to his phone. "Talk to me." I demand, crossing my arms on my chest and pouting my face. I keep my eyes on his; he's not looking my way. "Dominic, when are these shrooms going to kick in?" I take my legs off his body and as I stood up I stretched and yawned but not once did he look my way. "What are you doing on here?" I snatched away his phone only to be stopped inches away from him. I let out a gasp and the phone fall back to Dominic' lap.
Dominic' eyes were sharp, like taggers and the look in them; tears streamed down my face the longer I stared at them, but I couldn't look away. My mouth hung open, no words could escape passed the small gasps for breath. Fear stopped my breathing and my heart. I felt no warmth, only cold; everything was so cold and empty.
"Dominic, stop staring at me." I plead out between the short gasps. "Dominic let go of my arm," This is where I start to panic. My head gets light while my vision blurs, I can feel myself wanting to black out but my heart raced a million a second and my breathing was sharp and short while my fingertips tingled with my hands shaking violently. "D-Dominic, please let me go." I manged to whisper, my voice cracked and dried, I let out a whimper. "Dominic, please!"
I pull my arm away with all the strength my weak body could pull out, and I fall into a pit of darkness. Dominic' icy eyes stare at me finally. I can feel my body coming into contact with the bottom.
splat
"I'm not Dominic,"A male voice enters through my ears, jolting my body up and off the sofa. My back hits the bare wooden floor and I let out a scream, but my eyes open and I take a look around me. This place wasn't Dominic'.
I start to panic, speaking frantically with worried whimpers. I can feel my eyes about to explode with the tears that piled up. My eyes race around the room, trying to make sense of where I was and who I was with.
The red haired man is speaking to me but I can't hear him, I can only see a blur of his mouth moving. He gets off the sofa and sits next to me and I flinch at the touch of his clothing rubbing slightly on my skin. I just stare at him in fear, with worry.
Where's Dominic, I keep asking myself, where is he, why isn't he here, who are you, why are you here, where am I, why am I here, who am I, what the fuck is going on; they fill up my mind and I can't stop thinking.
"Akira," The make voice breaks through the bubble surrounding me. "Akira, it's okay."
"No it's not," I say quickly.
"Breathe," He says before wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "This is what you need right?" He asks embarrassingly.
"Cas," The word comes out of my mouth without thinking. "Castiel?" I didn't understand what was going on, but I somehow felt safe, I felt like I was in Dominic' arms, but he wasn't Dominic. I was safe and I was okay, I manged to breathe and wipe away the tears from my face. "I'm sorry," I cleared my throat and looked away from his eyes. "Castiel," I had to say his name once more; it felt foreign and familiar all at once.
"Are you okay?" He asks, there's a small tint of red in his cheeks and worry in his eyes and I just nod. "Good."
There's a silence that lingers above us, a comfortable silence. I rested my head on his lap and he places a hand on top of my head and neither of us talked. I feel asleep and woke up on the sofa with a blanket and pillow under my head; Castiel was nowhere to be found.
The next day at school I wondered aimlessly around the hallways. My mind was a mess and all I wanted was a simple cigarette. My body was still weak from yesterday and my hands were cold and still shaking. I felt like everyone knew, everyone knew I was a mess and it made me feel worse. I needed air, I needed time to myself, what I needed to do was get away. My mind started to race, along with my breathing and heart beat. I walked quickly towards the outside doors; I needed air and room to breathe. It hurt, every time I took a deep breath my chest was being stabbed with a knife.
I flew through the double doors and held my bag tightly on my chest; the tear were starting to blur my vision. I blinked and bumped into someone, my ass hit the floor and the tears I was fighting back trailed down my cheeks, staining the concrete ground under me.
"I'm sorry," I chocked out, not looking up to the person I had already known who it was, Lysander. He had been the last person I wanted to see, especially with me like this; why couldn't I have ran into the principal or Amber?
"Akira, is everything alright?" My head did a slight shake without me realizing. I sat down right and rummaged through my bag for cigarettes and a lighter. I placed the cigarette in my mouth but had trouble with the lighter, my hands were shaking violently. I cursed loudly as I started to panic more the longer I felt Lysander's eyes watching me. When I manged to finally turn on the lighter, I also manged to burn my finger.
"Mother fucker," I stressed as the tears filled my eyes once more.
"Here, let me help." Lysander sat in front of me and gently placed his hand over my on the lighter. My eyes watched his face, his calm facial expression put me at ease and calmed my breathing.
"Thanks," I mumbled under my breathe as the smoke escaped from my mouth. I sighed, taking in another big drag and slowly let it out, my eyes never let Lysander's face.
"Should I ask, or is it a secret?" He asked letting his eyes finally meet with mine.
"If I told you, I would have to kill you." I joked with a small chuckle, but the the corners of his lips curved down, he was frowning at my joke. "Don't take it too seriously." I said taking in the smoke.
"Your makeup is smeared." He spoke, his tone monotone.
I grabbed my bag and emptied everything out on the floor in between Lysander and I. I opened my compacted mirror and held it in one hand with my cigarette and fixed my make up with the other hand. Lysander didn't speak, he just watched me with a slightly smile; it made me a little nervous but it was fine.
My eyes looked behind me in the mirror and my heart stopped for a second when I saw Castiel walking towards us. He had a sour look on his face and his hands shoved into his pockets.
"What happened to your face?" My eyebrows furrowed and I frowned angrily, not looking up at him. "Tsk, whatever." I looked up at him once he was looking away from me, he had started a conversation with Lysander but I didn't pay attention to what they were talking about. Lysander left a few seconds later, leaving Castiel and I alone.
I looked up at him from the corner of my eye while I was throwing everything back in my bag. He was standing there awkwardly, his hands still in his pockets and they sour expression was gone but was replaced with something else. He wanted to bring up what happened yesterday, but he didn't know how or if it was a good thing too.
"You can bring it up." I said, my eyes now staring at him. "It's okay, I'm fine."
"Yeah? Well you don't look fine." I frowned, "Red was out before it happened," I had figured that much, usually when I don't have memory of where I am it's because of her. "We were watching some movie and she fell asleep on my lap, after a few minutes," Castiel stopped to clear his throat and to look away. "She started to moan in her sleep, and then she started calling out for a Dominic?" There it was, the name, that devil of a name. "Her, your, whatever, hand reached out and touched my face and she called me Dominic; I told it that wasn't me and that's when you came back." He rubbed the back of his neck, not making eye contact with me. "Who's Dominic?"
"I've never heard the name before, must be some guy she met while she was out." I hated having to lie to Castiel, he was doing no harm to me, but Dominic was someone I didn't want him to know about. I didn't want anyone to know about him.
"Doesn't that worry you? Shouldn't it bother you that she takes your body and does whatever the hell she wants with it?"
"And why does this bother you?" I snapped back at him. This was just a subject I didn't want to talk about. "There's nothing I can do about, she has a mind of her own, I can't control her." I stood up and walked away before I got him angry, more angry.
I tossed the cigarette on the ground before I entered the school and sighed. I thought about what Castiel had said, of course it bothered me, of course I was worried, but there was a part of me that trusted Red and knew she wouldn't do anything too stupid, like have sex with some guy. She wasn't like that, sure she flirts and makes out with strangers but at the end of the day, she doesn't take them home, she doesn't go home with them because she only has eyes for one person, that person being Dominic. Somehow her mind blocked away what happened and she wont believe anything else. When I try to think about it, about the attacks and screams, she stops me.
