Rating: T for teen and above.

Disclaimer: Buffy the vampire slayer is created and owned by Joss Whedon, 20th Centruy Fox and Dark Horse Comics. (1996, 2004) All characters, royalties and dedications go directly to those sources.

No distrobution, only to Fan Fiction.

Reviews: If ya like it, let us know. If ya don't heck let us know. It's the only way we unpaid struggling hobby writers get any better.

Summary: Glorificus and her minions have been defeated. Buffy has paid the ultimate sacrifice to save her sister and the people she cares about along with the entire world. Willow, unable to face a life in Sunnydale without the slayer, prepares a secret spell. Whilst Buffybot holds the line, someone new, yet someone old is coming to town.


Gifted

"Buffy!" Willow cried out her name. Her face was held in a mask of open-mouthed horror. She had no choice, but to stand idly by, and watch whilst her closest friend swan dived into the raging energy portal... To her death. "No… Goddess!… no" She bent over slightly and folded her arms around her waist.

Tara, who was standing beside Willow, placed her own hand up over her mouth. "Oh no! Willow, she j-jumped." The blond witch said in a breathless tone, but her partner was far too numbed of brain to point out that, that sum up of events was all too obvious."

Willow hung her head; as her knees buckled beneath her. She sobbed once and then slid down to the muddy ground on top of her injured leg. Tara dropped to her knees beside her love.

"She's gone Tara." Willow said, in a low and broken voice set tight with grim finality. Both women watched as the portal flared once more and then blinked out of existence. Buffy's limp body fell from where it hung in mid-air beside the rickety tower. There was a soft sound as of a sack of potatoes striking sand. It had landed amidst a collective pile of wood boards on top of the partially hardened mud.

Willow slid forward and hung limply in her partner's arms, "It's over Tara." She sobbed out. Tara threw her arms around her partner and embraced the distraught red-head to herself.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry." Tara intoned into Willow's ear and rested her chin upon the sobbing woman's head

Buffy had made a respectably artistic dive. Within her now shocked and befuddled mind, Willow could see three judges holding up score numbers for style and performance. 'Where the hell is my head at now?' She attempted to formalize a reasonable and sane thought pattern, but failed.

Willow pulled slowly out of her girlfriend's kindly intentioned embrace. She felt a numbness creeping across her entire body. She was certain that she was crying but at the same time the numbness stretched into her feelings also. Tara helped her partner to stand as Willow's twisted ankle injury was threatening to drag her back down again. There was no need for words and neither of the witches could find the strength to speak. Tara supported Willow whilst she staggered across the building yard, they reached the place where Buffy lay. Her limp body lay silent and immobile amidst the piles of wood and bricks.

Giles stood in silent repose nearby. He wore a haunted and pain filled expression etched upon his face; whilst tears glazed over his eyes. Giles gazed down upon the broken form of his slayer.

There was crying, at least some of it Willow realised, was her own. Dawn could be heard sobbing in the background. Spike, was sitting upon a length of wood, he was weeping, alone and iinconsolable. Whilst Xander stood beside him. He held an injured Anya encompassed within his arms; his face was a mask of sadness. Xander bore eyes that demonstrated an unknowable inner pain, whilst he also stared down, upon the body of his friend and high school crush, Buffy Summers.

"Is she…? Giles…? Is she...?" Willow asked of the taciturn watcher.

Giles knelt beside Buffy's body. Carefully he took her wrist into his hand, and placed two fingers beneath her chin by her throat. He lowered his head either in defeat or respect, Willow was unable to figure past the tears that fogged in her eyes. She knelt upon the ground beside Buffy's head, and placed her knees either side of her best friends flowing blond hair. Carefully, she lifted Buffy's head and rested it upon her own lap. Willow laid her cupped palms upon Buffy's, still, luke warm cheeks, and sat back upon her own calves. In her grief, the pain searing through her ankle seemed like an insignificant, and distant irritation.

Giles lifted his head to meet Willow's eyes with his own. A simple shake of his head was enough for him to answer her question. Buffy was gone.

Like her mother before her, Buffy had become another cold, grey headstone and yet another Sunnydale death statistic. Willow sensed a volcano of weeping waiting to erupt behind her eyes. Already, where her tears fell on Buffy's face, and where they lay upon her cheeks. It seemed to her, as if Buffy herself were shedding her own, final tears.

Tara moved quietly over to Willow, and knelt beside her. She placed her arms around the red heads slumped shoulders and planted a single kiss upon the top of her head. Willow stretched out Buffy's golden tresses upon her skirt. She straightened out the blond locks, and she ran her fingers through the length of Buffy's hair.

"She looks so peaceful though." Willow said with a thick, and heavy voice. "At long last I guess." She leant over and touched her forehead against Buffy's own. Giles moved to stand beside Willow and Tara. Silently,he placed a warm hand upon the red heads shoulder. It then occurred to Willow through the haze in her eyes, that perhaps Dawn should be kneeling here, beside the body of her dead sister. However at that moment Willow didn't care. This was her own chance to say her goodbye's to her best friend.

A wave of energy grew from within her chest, and Willow released a low keening wail. She bent over Buffy where she lay, and sobbed out her grief over the still warm body.

Giles remained by Willow's shoulder and allowed her those few moments of intimacy with his lost slayer.

Willow lost track of the time that passed, until she felt Tara's and Giles's hands pull her carefully up to her feet. Together, they led her gently away from Buffy's body. Strong Watcher's hands helped Willow to limp to a new place. She found herself deposited upon a concrete slab, there, to sit beside the grieving and sobbing Dawn Summers. Willow hadn't taken notice of any of the action around her up to that time. She could see that most of the area had been of corpses. The scabby minion dead of Glory's godlike self, were all gone. Her confused victims were gone, and even Ben's body was gone. They'd all been very efficient in their morbid tidiness.

Thus, Willow thought. Under the cold efficiency of the Watcher's precise command; the site had been swept clean. Did the Watcher's council have a training course for that as well? Such thoughts burrowed their way into Willow's brain whilst she sat there. For then, that's when she did a strange thing. Willow started to giggle. She cackled loudly and uncontrollably. She had to hold on to her stomach muscles with the pressure of the incessant giggles that overtook her. Everyone else stopped what they were doing, and stared at her.

Through a plethora of confused giggles, Willow could hear Dawn yelling at her. The angry face of the volatile teenager shoved itself directly in front of Willow's own face. There, Dawn was shouting at her, but Willow couldn't make out what Dawn was shouting about. So, Dawn, with great enthusiasm, began to deliver punches on Willow's arm.

"What are you laughing for, she was your best friend Willow, stop fricking laughing will you, my sisters dead. Stop laughing!" Dawn yelled as she punched.

Tara rushed over to Dawn. She tried to calm her down by inserting herself directly between Dawn and her girlfriend, the target of Dawn's fists. "Dawn! Stop p-please!" Tara knelt with her hands out stretched and with her back to Willow, facing Dawn.

"What's wrong with her?" Dawn shouted, tears streamed down her cheeks, whilst she pointed at the giggling witch.

"Willow's j-just in shock Dawn, she's deeply hurting just like we all are. She just doesn't know how to make sense of what she's f-feeling, right now, and she's very confused okay?"

"She's laughing!"

"She doesn't mean it sweetie, she just needs time to work things out in her head, okay? Aw! Please try to understand Dawnie, she's just a bit crazy with the grief, a-and the shock of seeing Buffy like that. I-I know you're hurting as well."

"Just stop her laughing."

"I'll stay here with her now, are you hurt bad sweetie?"

"Just some deep cuts, they're still bleeding a lot." Dawn said with a cracked voice.

Giles came over. Carefully, he placed a blanket he'd retrieved from his car around Dawn's shoulder,s. Then taking her gently into his hands he helped her to her feet, and led the girl away. Tara sat next to Willow whilst she was still affected by her giggling convulsions. When Willow looked up to see her girlfriends overly serious expression of concern looking back down at her, she snickered and began laughing all the more..

"Willow, baby, please try to get a sane grasp on things?" Tara said to her. Deep worry was etched upon Tara's face.

Willow stopped giggling suddenly, she sat up and scrunched up her face. The tears erupted out from her once more. She buried her face into the crook of her Tara's neck and wept.

Giles touched Tara on the shoulder. "Xander's back with his car, you'd best take Wlllow over and get her and Dawn to the hospital; I'll bring Anya down in mine."

"I'm staying with her Giles." Willow said, whilst gritting her teeth, she indicated toward where Buffy lay.

"Willow." Giles said effecting his most caring and soothing fatherly tenderness of voice. "You'll have all the time you need with Buffy tonight, I promise you. I need to take her away from here now before anyone comes. Whilst you need to have that ankle seen by someone professional as soon as possible."

Willow spilt fresh tears. "I can't just leave her now Giles, I can't just walk away."

"Willow, Dawn needs you now, she needs you to take care of her, it's what Buffy would have wanted."

Tara locked her arm with Willow's. "Giles is right sweetie, we have to look after Dawnie now, she needs us."

Willow pressed her face into Tara's shoulder, but nodded her head. Suddenly She lifted her chin to face them. "Oh Goddess! Dawnie, we gotta to go to her." She stepped out of Tara's hold and began limping at some rate of velocity toward Xander's car.

Willow reached the car and wrenched the car door open. With that, jumped into the back seat beside Dawn.

"Dawnie, honey! Dawnie I'm here sweetie, Willow pulled Dawn into a tight, and desperate hug, Dawn held a look of intense surprise upon her face. She was especially shocked after experiencing Willow's recent giggling fit. Tara gave her pleading looks as she climbed aboard, and so the girls sat in the back of Xander's car, and sobbed together. They hugged each other, and by the time they'd been to the emergency room and arrived back to the Magic shop, Willow and Dawn were holding each other closely. The two girls cried softly, tears dripping onto each others shoulders.

Willow was going through a whole gamut of emotions in her stomach. The next one she fell into, as soon as she got out of the car... anger.

She needed to take it out on Giles , the man who was supposed to be like Buffy's father. The man who had groomed her for five long years for death. The man who had led her to her death. 'Bastard watcher's', Willow felt an inate desire to kill all of them.

"Where are you going? Willow!" Tara called out from the car seat, but Willow ignored Tara's plea's. She jumped from the car and limped like a marathon runner into the magic shop. Xander was standing firm in the centre of the shop. He held out his hands in an ill advised effort to bar Willow's entrance. He blocked the route she sought into the back area and thereby to the training room.

"Will, hold up please, don't just barge in there, Giles has got to prepare Buffy." Xander had been crying also, Willow could tell, she noticed the red puffiness of his eyes.

"Prepare her for what Xander?" Willows much shorter but still somehow terrible presence stared down her male friend. "She's fricking dead." She said loudly, and stood her ground, her eye's locked onto his eye's, Xander eventually looked away. He was openly brave but clearly not insane, and tonight of all nights, more wisdom than bravery was required to calm Willow.

"He promised me that he'd not just bury her, not until you've spent some time with her first Will."

Tara approached them and placed a pair of gentle hands upon Willow's shoulders from behind. "Willow, please! She has to be packed In ice."

'Oh yeah!' Willow thought to herself. 'Of course, it's hot in California at this time'. She held visions in her head, of black blowflies scurrying in and out of Buffy's swollen, blackened nostrils laying brown elongated eggs, and of maggots bursting forth from her gas expanded belly. Then, Willow bent over, and threw up her lunch.

She blacked out.


'Online.'

.Online.'

'Online'.

'Wait, still no audio, visual only.' Her fingers are doing something inside my skull shell. I can't see her now, she's gone out of my field of vision.

"That's better, I have video online at seventy five percent clarity, please confirm my audio clarity?" There was no reply; at least no audible reply, she may have just nodded, sometimes they do that.

"I need service." No Reply.

"Spike needs service." Her face appears in front of my sensors. She furrows her eyebrows into a... A... frown.

"Wait… new directive… Spike needs punching till his fat stupid blond head falls off." I finish with a satisfied smile; I know they like satisfied smiles. "Willow, Why is there water emitting from your eyes?"

She seems unready to reply, maybe she didn't hear me, and so I used maximum volume. "Willow!" It was a shout simulation.

She jumped almost out of her seat into what I calculated to be an action ready position.

"What? Goddess! What?"

"I need service."

"Don't shout, I know you do. I'm just trying to put your head back on right now okay. Now please, keep still or I might put it on backward or summin, then you'll just… Trip over your own ankles trying to find your toes, and that would just look really… kinda… stupid, okay?"

I collated her responses against seven hundred and twenty five thousand possible human actions in the data bank. "Why are you crying?" My memory banks confirmed the reaction I saw as being that of crying, 'The emotive reactive response of cleaning the eye and alimentary system of inherent chemicals, those emitted from low grade adrenal glands, lymphatic's, and central brain nervous response inherencies.

"Am I? Yeah! I guess I am."

"The emotive reactive response of cleaning the eye and alimentary system of inherent chemicals, those emitted from low grade adrenal glands, lymphatic's, and central brain nervous response inherencies. "

She just stared at me. "Uuuuh! Yeah!"

"Why?"

"Because… I'm very sad."

"Why?"

"Because my best friend died last night. I've got to be there when we bury her, and it's not something that's just easy to deal with, okay?" She made sniffling noises through her nose, it was dripping liquid too.

'Willow's best friend? I searched my data banks, I had three possible entries, I chose the first one. "Xander's dead?" I put on my most expressive furrowed brow of confusion expression. My logic banks state that; I have thirty three possible permutations of confusion facial expression morphology available for access.

"No! Robo Buffy, Xander's a he, not a she, so, no, it's not Xander who's… dead…. It's … it's Buffy" She fell silent and turned her body away from me. Her shoulders were bobbing up and down. Willow was making soft sounds, like she was being sick.

"Are you being sick?"

"No! I'm fricking not being sick! I'm crying damn you." She didn't turn back to face me. Willow seemed to be having trouble breathing too.

I was confused, two unusual expletives expounded in twelve point seven seconds, that's odd; Willow is not programmed to make expletives at that rate of exhalation, my memory banks are strict about that.

"I'm sorry, just don't ask stupid questions please Buffy… Eh! Cyberbuffy." Willow was wiping her eyes with a kleenex kerchief. She stopped and blew her nose loudly into it; then stood up and threw the wet tissue into a can. I remained silent whilst she washed her hands in the sink.

"Don't be sad Willow, I'm not dead." I said with Helpful cheerfulness, I hope she realizes her mistake, then she can put my head back on right. "I just need service Willow."

"Not you bolts for brains, the other Buffy." She said with her back still kept toward me, whilst she dried her hands.

Now I was completely confused. 'There was another Buffy'?

"I'm sorry I snapped at you. like I said, I'm just really upset and I'm really not myself right now."

"Who else are you? You can't also be Buffy."

She placed her hands over her eyes and emitted a clear long sigh.

"Trying, as I am, to be as patient with you as much I can. I mean I'm not emotionally in my right mind, right now. Because of my best friend being just... dead... Alright?"

"I'm Buffy!" My memory banks are strict about that. I had to get Willow to see her mistake. "I have no data on who else you might be referring to."

"No sweetie." She spoke in a very soft tone now and turned to face me. "You're a Robo Buffy, there was a real one that you were modelled on, don't you remember?" Willow peered closely into my face; her eyes were big red orbs.

"No." I replied.

"Hang on, let me see what I can do."

I couldn't see what she did, but her index fingers were somewhere in each of my ears.

"I screamed." It was at maximum allowable voice volume.

"Goddess! What is it? Did I hurt you I'm so sorry!" Willow jumped back, and pulled her fingers out quickly, then she thrust her face back in front of mine. There was a worried expression on her face now, it matched her red eyes. "I didn't know you were programmed for pain, I'm truly sorry."

"No!"

"No... What?"

"No Willow, you didn't hurt me." I smiled widely, to show as many white teeth as possible; I was hoping it would cheer her up, it always cheered Spike up.

"Then why the scream?" She stared at me with her eyebrows furrowed together. Clearly she was frowning again.

"You activated the memory of how to, I was running a system test."

Willow let out a long and very loud sigh, she closed her eyes and sat back into the small stool. "Tell you what, Robo Buffy. Why don't ya warn me first if you're gonna run a system test again… Okay? Cause my nerves can't take too much right now."

"Okay Willow." I replied as cheerfully as I was able.

"Thanks."

"I remember!"

"Remember... What? You mean the other Buffy?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Yes, the other Buffy, she's like me, I hope she will be my friend." I smiled as widely as I was able, almost beyond my design specifications.

"Well... On that... I'm sorry, Robo Buffy, but... You know, Buffy can't be anyone's friend right now. She's… you know... kinda busy being dead." Willow obviously hadn't been cheered up by my smile efforts.

"Can't she be fixed?"

"People can't so easily be fixed when their dead Robo Buffy. That kinda thing only happens for convenience of a story, mainly, on the more poorly thought out sci fi shows on TV."

"Will you try to grow a new one?"

Willow paused. "Excuse me?" She was looking at me with deeply furrowed brows again.

"When you bury her, are you going to grow a new one?"

She smiled at me. "People grow in other people's tummies, Robo Buffy. They get put into the ground for good when their dead. It's all sorta… You know… Final." Willow patted me upon the head.

"So Buffy's gone.. For good?"

"She's gone… Forever yeah."

"Warning, system test, system test. Yeeha! Get a mouth load of the fist of Buffy fang features, you're gonna need a new dentist now."

"What the heck was that?"

"A system test, you told me to warn you when I performed one."

Willow sighed again, and she started mumbling to herself.

"I can't hear you Willow."

"I was talking to myself."

"About what?"

"What you said. That stuff about burying her in the ground to grow a new one."

"Do you need help with the gardening?"

"No. No its all okay. It's Just a thought I had, is all... Don't worry about it."

"Warning system test, system test. Sardonic through sarcastic begin." I tested out the seventeen independent laughter routines, Sardonic through sarcasm.

Willow sat through it all very quietly and rested forehead into her hands. "Laughter sub routine, happy through hysterical... Begin." I started the run program.

Willow stood up and moved behind my field of vision. She put her fingers in my ears again.

Black…


Willow sat back down beside the headless torso of the robot. She tightly clenched her fists for a few seconds. Slowly she leant back in the stool, her back and head fell against the cellar wall. A growl escaped her throat and her eyes clenched shut. Willow let loose a mix of anger driven, and grief stricken mewlings whilst simultaniously banging her body against the cellar brickwaork and stamping her foot loudly. Her mewls threatened to grow into wails.

The upstairs cellar door flew open, and Tara came running down the small and treacherous steps. "Oh W-Willow! I'm sorry sweetie; I shouldn't have left you alone." She rushed to Willow, and encompassed the sensitive red head into her arms.

"Easy Willow, easy baby please. Y-you'll hurt yourself on the wall sweetie." She stood back slightly and stroked her partners rich red hair. "C'mon baby, settle down, take it easy okay?"

Willow carefully disengaged herself from within her girlfriend's arms. She sat with closed eyes for a moment to take a hold of herself emotionally. "Sorry." She said softly with clenched teeth.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked.

Willow's voice was thick and broken. "Yeah, thanks Tar, I'm sorry I interrupted your dinner making. I'm still looking forward to Pasta Nouvella."

"You sure you're able to eat any of it?"

"No, but you made it, so I'll find a way."

"What h-happened sweetie?"

Willow pointed to the robotic Buffy head that was perched upon the bench. It's eyes were stuck wide open, it stared unblinkinmgly at the two witches. "It was the robot."

Tara was surprised. "Th-the robot, Willow?"

"I was fixing her head back on. Or... at least I was trying to. But she kept running these voice tests, then she-she started laughing, the way that Buffy used to. I couldn't stand it any longer it was just too much, so I turned it off."

"I'm sorry sweetie. I just find it hard to know how to help you through this, I guess I haven't had much experience in caring about others."

"Willow wiped her nose on the spare kleenex, and used the easy wipes to clean her hand. "What about your Mom? You said she died when you were younger?"

"That was a hard time for me. My dad wouldn't let me mourn, or even see her body. He said, that it was his right to be sad for all of us, and I had to… As he said. "Buck up". Even before the funeral, they made me stay at home and fix food for the wake."

"They were horrible people; we shoulda let Buffy pummel em." Willow sniffed out her opinion.

Tara shrugged her undecided agreement. "So I guess I've never really had a chance to m-mourn any one... Deeply. There was no one else I had to care about, Oh! I mean of course I feel sad that Buffy's gone, and I've cried some. Mainly though for Dawn and… for you, but I can't really know how it feels to lose people like Buffy and her mom from a place in your life."

"It's kinda like having your heart and guts ripped out at the same time." Willow blurted out.

"Not quite the fluffy imagery I was looking for. But I get it."

Willow placed both hands either side of Tara's cheeks. She bought the blond girls own face down to plant a kiss upon her lips. "I'm really not going to hurt myself Tara." She said directly to Tara's face, and staring into her eyes.

"No, oh no… I…I-I-It's just that…W-What do you mean Willow?"

"It's okay cutie. I overheard you and Giles talking last night; he was putting you on suicide watch, for me.

Tara smiled sheepishly, but she looked down at her shoes as she did. "It wasn't quite as b-bad as that Willow. He was just worried about you, I suppose I'm kind of concerned too. Giles just said that I should look out for you."

Willow stroked her partners hair. "I understand baby, and it's fine. But Giles ought to know me better than that, I'd never turn my pain on myself. I'd probably go all lizzy Borden on the people who hurt the people I love though."

"Well... That's a relief anyway." Tara laughed. "Maybe we should be more worried about Dawn."

"She isn't about to kill herself either. Dawn... Will probably punch unconscious her worst school bully, and then go and rob a music store outlet of all the cd's have. She'd never consider killing herself. She just wants to get most of the attention going around in the depths of her misery."

"We've been giving her as much as we can. So much, that I've been w-worried about leaving you on your own."

"Listen, if we want a sane Dawn. If we want a house with the least broken ornaments, at least this side of the continental divide. Then keep giving all the attention to Dawn. I'll sneak what I can in when she's not around okay honey?"

"You p-promise not to try and... You know... Hurt yourself?"

"I promise Tara, I mean, truly, I'll miss Buffy for the rest of my life. Now and again, I'll probably want be by myself for a while. I'll just sit alone and look at our old pictures together and... cry a lot; but really the worst of the how I'm feeling... It'll pass."

"Good, cause I couldn't handle it if you started the self harm stuff. It was hard enough watching Dawn's episodes."

"Well... I don't think I'm an explosive teenage hormone bomb."

"Don't ever hurt yourself okay?"

"There was that time Spike held me and Xander prisoner, in the old factory building in town."

"I remember that story. Something about a spell for him and Drucilla?"

"That's still the most frightening night I've ever spent yet in Sunnydale Tara. I actually did think about killing myself that night."

"Why, because you thought he'd t-turn you?"

"Actually... It was kinda cos… He was gonna ram and twist a broken bottle up through my face, and into my brain. Probably... After he'd creatively mutiliated Xander to death too."

"Wow! Spike was that scary then?"

"He was, and worse Tara. I don't want to think about what he would have done to Buffy. I mean... If he'd ever captured her alive. Without that chip in that addled noggin of his. He's really, really dangerous Tara and we should never forget that."

"But he always seems like such a vampire… Puppy."

"Not before he got the military grade chip into his brain. Before the chip and his obsession with Buffy, he was a brutal, and bloodthirsty killer. He got that name Spike from when he tortured people brutally with rail spikes, back in the old days."

"Let's hope he never loses his chip or his obsession then."

"One down then." Willow said with a sad expression, that left a moments silence between the two partners."

Tara spoke first. "Are you feeling better now sweetie?"

"No! " Willow shook her head whilst she held her eyes upon the cellar floor. "But I'm not all self harmful Tara. I'm Just hanging on by a fragile thread right now, and the bot wasn't helping any."

"Why not leave that thing alone?"

"I have to have something to do to occupy myself right now, and I thought tinkering with the robot would help. Instead, it just made me realize how much it hurts that she's gone."

"I'm h-here for you Willow."

Willow buried her head into Tara's warm shoulder. "I know sweetie, I just need to keep my brain occupied with something or… Or I won't be able to function, and I'll just become a manic depressive alcoholic or something. I'll stop washing properly and start becoming all stinky, and then you'll stop giving me all these nice hugs."

"Well, we can't have that." Tara smiled briefly at her partners quirky babbling. "So why the robot Willow? I mean, I can see how it's at least a reminder of … you know… Buffy. I guess that'll be good for Dawn. I just … d-don't think it's good for you right now hon."

"We need the robot up and running Tara, and soon."

"To replace Buffy?"

"Yeah... Because If the night unlife of Sunnydale get wind that Buffy's dead. Tara… They'll have a party, and we'll all the entrée's. So we really sorta, kinda, need them all to believe that Buffy's still alive."

"Phew! Willow I think you're asking a lot of the robot."

"It's the only chance we have right now."

"I understand the need for her funeral secrecy Willow. But using the robot in her place, that's just asking for trouble eventually."

"There's no other way unless Faith's willing to come back and fight for us, and I for one am not voting yes to that right now. I said I wouldn't kill myself, so I'm not giving psycho gal that chance to off me on a whim."

"I thought she was doing really well in prison?"

"Exactly! So I don't want her to be interrupted in that doing well stuff, not just yet. Not until we know, that we have absolutely no other choice okay?"

"Okay. So a-are you feeling better now then?"

"Yeah... A little. Let's go back upstairs shall we? The robots mecha eyeballing me, and really, it's just freaking disturbing having just her head sitting there like that. Especially when I know where Buffy really is." Willow stopped half way up the cellar stairs. She turned and moved back against her girlfriend. Tara quickly embraced Willow again in her arms. Willow hung her head. "Oh Goddess! Tara, she's really gone."

Tara held the vulnerable red head closely. "I loved Buffy too Willow." She said in a low, sad voice. Willow gave her a weak smile. "I know you did sweetie."

"We have to be moms to Dawn now."

"We'll make sure she gets everything she needs. She can never live a life for her sister, but we'll make sure she has a good one, in spite of what's happened."

"Poor Dawn." Tara said, "Good people like Buffy, o-or her Mom shouldn't die like that, not so suddenly, they should have their whole lives to live. It's t-too unfair and I don't know what to say."

"Just be there for me Tara, tomorrow night, and hold on to me, when we put her in the ground okay? Cause afterward I'm gonna give the rest of my life and all of my time to just one thing."

"What's that?"

"I'm investing it all in you, you dope." Willow punched Tara lightly on the shoulder.

"Oh! Heh! heh! right, of course, sorry, just let's not forget about Dawn in the midst of it all okay? Hey! Who's going to tell Angel?"

"Oh! Godess! I hadn't thought about it. I just supposed that Giles might… No! That's actually a really bad idea, if Xander or Giles call, I mean,… No, there's too much bad history there, It needs someone that Angel trusts to tell him the bad news."

"I guess that leaves you or m-me then."

"Angel doesn't know you Tara, It's gotta be me."

"Are you up to doing that?" Tara said with a concerned expression.

Willow sighed. "I'm not up to making the coffee right now sweetie, but... but it's gotta be done, and today."

"Today! Willow? The f-funerals… t-tonight?"

"I can't have Angel finding out that we buried her already, when he hears about it. He'll want to be there. I care that he'll want to be there Tara. Angel held a special place in Buffy's life, he deserves to be a part of this. I'll have to ask Giles to hold off on the burial until tomorrow night."

"Okay, do you w-want me to come along?"

"No. I need you to stay here and just make sure that Giles actually does wait for Angel and me to get back here."

"G-Giles... Would never…"

"Giles would totally… Look Tara, he's scared right now, they all are, and they all should be. I'm scared… I'd feel better if Angel comes down. Just for a while, just until the robot's been properly fixed up, and accepted by the evil community."

"We have Spike."

"But he loved BuffyTara! He loved Buffy... And... She's… Now she's gone. Spike never had any love for the rest of us."

"He still seems to care about Dawn."

"If that's a healthy thing?"

"Time will tell Willow. He s-says he made promises to Buffy."

"Goddess, what a mess this all is."

"Let me make you some hot malt sweetie."

"You're my one constant thing, Tara. You're my rock which'll never roll away."


The two women held onto each other as they ascended the rickety stairs.


The tape deck had just been turned over, the noise of 'In the year twenty five twenty five.' Was sounding out, if, barely audible in the background.

Giles wiped his eyes of the wet tears that had been threatening to fall throughout the day. He blew his nose on the same piece of Kleenex. A knock sounded at the door that led to the shop front area.

"Come in." He said, and made an effort to compose himself.

Willow's devastated expression appeared framed within the doorway as it opened.

"Willow! My dear." Giles said, and moved to greet her. "How are you feeling?" He took the red head into a close, and warm embrace.

Willow replied with a silent lopsided movement to her mouth. She rolled her eyes and hugged herself with her own arms. Giles guessed that, that meant she was coping… just about.

"You know… some moments are like… better than others." She replied.

"Of course." Giles nodded quickly. Then Giles did what he always does first for guests, he went to find the tea. He found it gave them time to relax and him some time to prepare.

"It isn't going to be easy for any of us, what with everyone trying to cope with such a major blow."

"It's okay Giles, I know you miss her too."

Giles just nodded quietly and smiled as he returned with a hot cup of tea. "So... d-did you want to spend some time with Buffy alone? Before the…"

"Thanks Giles, but no… not just yet. It'll just upset me, and Tara's already more than worried enough about me."

"Grief isn't an easy thing for anyone to have to deal with Willow. No one's going to Question you for your actions. We, each of us, deal with our own sense of loss in our own way. It's a very private thing really."

Willow nodded. "I'm dealing... I am... I-I really am sorry for the way I yelled at you last night. I don't think I really knew what I was saying."

The previous evening, once Willow had woken from her sudden black out, she had spent ten minutes yelling and threatening Giles. He had withstood the entire tirade with immortal patience. Willow finally broke down into tears. Giles had pulled her into a fatherly hold until she had cried it all out. Tara eventually took her home.

"It's perfectly alright Willow. How is Dawn coping?"

"She's been crying, and pounding the table a lot, and yelling at us all for small things. Throwing things about when she doesn't get her way of course. So not much change there really." Willow smiled a thin lipped smile. "You'd think she was my little sister or something."

Giles laughed softly. "That's a good sign Willow. She's strong and independent, I'm sure she'll come around. Do you want me to talk to her?"

"Thanks Giles, but that's okay. We have to start trying to do the mom in charge thing some time, I guess. Tara and I, we're her only family now."

"I know that the two of you will do a wonderful job with Dawn. So what did you want me to help you with?"

"Actually, I was sorta planning to go drive over and see Angel tonight."

"Oh Willow! No! You aren't up to that, really you shouldn't drive when you aren't feeling in top form. It's not a good idea and Angel hasn't been answering their phone anyway. let me keep trying, he's probably on some deep mission for now."

"I'm really okay to drive, and I don't think you should be the one to give Angel the news Giles. With your common histories it wouldn't come across as too sympathetic. Angel knows me, he trusts me. We share some intimate things where Buffy's concerned. I think he'll respond a little better if I speak to him. We're going to need him to help us secure the town here for a while."

"I appreciate your thinking Willow, but do you know how hard this might hit Angel? It could drive him to become Angelus in grief, do you really want to be around him then."

"I trust him Giles, and I owe it to him. I have to be the one to give this news to him."

"I suppose that's fair enough. What if they still aren't back form wherever.. yet"

"Then I'll stay the night and come home, okay?"

"If you think you'll be alright."

"So… I sort of need you to hold off on the burial, for tonight, at least until, and I can get back with whoever wants to come from the city."

"I wouldn't dream of burying Buffy without you there Willow, but tomorrow night is all we can afford to extend it too."

"I'll be back by then, hopefully with Angel. Maybe with some of the others as well."

"How do you think he'll take it?" Giles sipped his fresh cup of tea, but Willow refused a second cup with a shake of the head.

"He'll be devastated. But he's proud Giles, he'll go for long walks, and stand outside until just the last moment before the sun comes up. That kinda thing, I guess he'll bring flowers every year to Buffy's grave, probably until long past the time our own lives have passed on. I don't think he'll turn into Angelus though. He's got a lot more discipline that you give him credit for Giles."

"Just be careful Willow."

"I will be… so… I guess I better be going then." There was a small pause whilst she smiled and turned to leave.

Giles called to stop her a moment. "Willow, I'm truly sorry for what's happened, I know that you feel this terrible loss… perhaps more than any of us. Please know that I will always be there for you. I've always thought of you as much as being like a daughter to me, as Buffy always was."

Willow stood half in the doorway to the shop area, slowly she turned back to face him, a single tear escaped to slide down over her cheek. "I just hope you told her how proud you were of her in the end Giles?" She closed the door.

Giles bought the cup back for a last sip, but in mid pause he replied, whether Willow heard it in leaving or not, Giles couldn't know. "Every day." He said under his breath.


"See you tomorrow baby, okay?" Willow said as she started the engine.

"Okay hon, call me every time you stop though please."

"I will if I can, okay?"

"I'm just worried about you driving over there as you are."

"Yeah so Giles told me, look It's only a few hours to Los Angeles Tara, I'll stop any time I feel bad or just weepy... okay?"

"Okay sweetie, just be safe please, you know I worry about you."

"I'll be back by midday tomorrow, whether I see Angel or not." Willow hugged Tara, who leant in through the open drivers door. "I love you." She said to Willow.

"I love you." Willow bent forward to her partner for one final kiss, then she closed the driver door, engaged gear and set off. Tara could be seen waving to her in the rear view mirror, until Willow was too distant.

During the journey to Los Angeles Willow, stopped at two of the public rest stops that were still open. She left the jeep for a while to walk around in the open air at the first one. That walk helped her to clear her head and she drove on.

At the second stop though Willow fell into a fit of crying. This was whilst she sat and eat a packed lunch that Tara had prepared for her. Willow cried into a piece of kitchen towel, with her legs stuck out of the open drivers door; her distrought state attracted several truck drivers to meander over to her. Willow realised they'd assumed she'd been assaulted by a boyfriend. They began looking around for a passing male to terrorize. She quickly told them she was crying because her best friend had just died in an accident. They fussed around her then with lots of "Aww's" and "Aaah's." Two of them, both slightly older women, and both heavily tatoo'd on their exposed arms knelt in the doorway, and gave Willow a supportive hug.

Before Willow was able to gather herself emotionally back together; or think about driving away, the truck drivers all wandered back to her car. They'd bought her fresh drinks, and travel sandwiches from the stop by cafe.

The truckies stood by the car and waved goodbye as she pulled. Willow smiled politely and gave them all a friendly wave. She had to tell the cuter of the truckie women that she was already involved with somebody, but thanks anyway. The older trucker gal seemed somewhat relieved by that reply, she scrunched up her nasal piercings in thanks, and flicked ash from her stogie in farewell.

Willow made it to the city outskirts of Los Angeles by the late afternoon. It took another hour of driving in rush hour traffic, although , eventually, she saw the Hyperion hotel in all it's course, upon entering, she realized; the place was empty. It was obvious that, that's why no one had answered Giles previous calls.

Willow was here now however, come what may; so she settled into the reception area and waited. Fortunately someone had been kind enough to leave a coffee machine with coffee available behind the reception desk. She laid down on the reception couch and tried to sleep a couple of times. Her efforts to nod off came to nought however. Willow's short painful dreams, were dogged by frightening, and nightmarish visions of Buffy screaming and suffering. Her deceased best friend writhed endlesly in hellish torment. Willow gave up with trying to sleep.

She spent the evening, instead, preparing cup after cup of coffee.


"Trial run An?" Xander was confused, usually when the robot tried to run she damaged something, if not everything.

"Yep, she needs the practise, Willow's planning to put her head back on as soon as she can." Anya was studying the robot head of Buffy with it's ever present happy smile etched upon it's face.

Xander personally found the whole scene extremely disquieting.

"She's a robot An! She's programmed with information, we tell her what to think. How is her practising anything going to help?"

"Willow said that the bot's got basic functioning, learning, adaption and improvement systems incorporated into her architecture, so she's capable of some learning on her own. It means activating a small upgrade network in her decision making neural net. Her designer was really one clever, and really creepy little nerd. Willow says her chip was just slowed down so that she couldn't spare the computing power for improvement learning."

"Sooo... You mean she was deliberately dumbed down?"

"Buy that man a tequila. He must've done it so that she'd never question things. You know, like why she was being... Physically... Misused by Spike. I mean he was having sex with her."

"Yeeeugh! Gives me the jeebies just knowing about that."

Anya shrugged. "Well! Now we're gonna make a few setting changes... Or we will as soon as we can find the chips reset codes."

"Isn't that like a factory resetting of a television?"

"Willow says no. It seems our little nerd likes to protect his design copywrite. The simple probelm is that we have no idea where the chip code is located physically. Cause it's not on the chip."

"So, If we find it she'll be smarter?"

Anya smiled briefly. "Kind of like that honey. Then I can teach her lots of new things."

Xander paled at the thought of what Anya might teach their new robot Buffy child.

"A little help from you might make it go easier."

"I'm don't think I'm on board with this Anya."

"And I just don't understand why."

"Because, right now it's just too much to deal with. I'd like a chance to get over Buffy's death and say goodbye to her. I'm about to bury one of my best friends in the world, someone I'll never see again. Really, having her walking and talking right now… It's too much to take in. It all feels just so... Morbidly wrong, somehow."

"I forget, you always had the secret hots for her didn't youp; It must be upsetting for you. But you're mine now Xander Harris, and don't you forget it."

"Anya, whatever our teenage history together may have been. Buffy was one of my best friends. I cared about her as I would any family, I might have had the 'hots' for her when I was a drooling teen. Now, all I know is that someone I cared about just died. So no, I don't want to patrol with you or the robot this week. I wanna stay mostly at home in self recriminating despondency; feeling sorry for myself and getting drunk as a skunk, on many manly lashings of beer okay?"

"Anya mumbled something incoherent about. "So what's new."

Xander just gave her a hard stare.

"I just don't see why you'd want to give time to someone who's dead. Yes! Dead Xander and not to me. Your fiancée, who's still living Xander." Anya turned to Xander and her eyes were welled with tears.

"God's! Anya just give us some time to get over the girls death please, for all of us."

"You think I'm not missing Buffy? She was my friend too." Xander remained silent.

He mulled a short while as nothing was said, finally he broke the quiet. "Just when are you planning on taking 'it' out anyway?"

"After the burial."

"Immediately after that? Isn't that a bit… I don't know… Insensitive."

"Xander! Look I'm scared... Okay, you've never had super powers. You don't know how it feels to lose them; how helpless it makes you feel. The Buffy bot's the only one I trust to keep me or any of us safe right now. I'm sticking with her, as my body guard. That means I'm going to be her side kick where it counts. I know the demons here in Sunnydale Xander, if they get a single tangible notion that something's wrong… Well… They'll be all over us that same night, and we'll be all over Sunnydale, in bite sized chunks. So I'll be patrolling with the robot this week, and for as long as it counts."

"Does Giles know?"

"Giles doesn't know everything, and nor should he. He's probably going back to dreary and damp old England soon anyway, now that he's got no Buffy to order around."

"I don't like this, you patrolling alone with that, that Spike sex mad machine. I thought you at least liked Buffy; you were sad at her Mom's funeral."

"I'll be sad at this one Xander, Buffy was my friend, really, she was. But that doesn't mean life just stops, I have a store to run and money to make, and I want to stay alive."

"I can't join you in this macarbre farce Anya."

"I know you won't." Xander made no reply.


"So... how did Angel take it?" Gunn fell into the seat beside the ex watcher.

"He hasn't come out of his room since last night." Wesley handed Charles a steaming cup of coffee. "He didn't say very much after Cordelia and Willow left, he just sat in the foyer most of the night. I thought it best to just leave him be."

"He took it all a damn site better than I thought he ought. He even asked 'Did she suffer?' I mean what kinda question was that?" Gunn said taking aswig of morning coffee.

"A practical one given the circumstances, but I don't think Buffy suffered more than a sense of some short lived electric shock."

"Man, I didn't wanna hang around ya know? Like I'm sorry for the guy and everything, but I didn't wanna get involved in a private mourning party."

"No! You did the right thing. Taking Fred and getting her settled in I mean."

"I saw the two girls there hugging and crying on each others shoulders. I never thought Cordelia even liked Angel's old girlfriend, not from the way she's always talked about her."

"Cordy says a lot of things she doesn't mean; she used to say a lot of things that were mostly just mean, but she's grown up a lot. The whole group of them from Sunnydale were all friends together at school. I'm sure Cordy cared about Buffy deep down, she's just too proud to admit to that."

"She's a complex one, that's for sure."

"I never previously thought that she was, her surface bluff personality always seemed so straight forward, as if there were only one layer ever to see. These past few years however; I've come to realize that Cordelia is an exceedingly complex person."

"Have they checked in since last night?"

"They haven't shown up yet either. Cordy had Willow stay in her apartment last night."

"Oh yeah! Gunn waggled his eyebrows."

"Charles you're being disgusting now. I don't think that just because Willow is by her own choice as it were… gay, in orientation, that Cordelia has been taken in suddenly to the same mind set by her charms do you?"

"Ah! Wes, you don't know girls man. When they're all emotional…"

"I think it's safe to say they're just sleeping Charles."

Gunn wisely let any further discussion drop. "I'm sorry man, I really only know this slayer chick as Angel's secret ex honey bunny."

"There was never any secret. Buffy was, and has remained Angel's lover, albeit for the hours of driving separation from each other. Angel loved Buffy with more than just his heart, I think it went into something of his true human soul, the old poets would have a field day with whatever it was. The two of them had between them, something immeasurable. That and the burning desperate need, the endless pain of being unable to consummate their lust. Then there was the fiery arguments and the deep unending resentment of unremitting, and unrequited passion. "

"So it was true…? They could never have… you know… sex?"

"After what you suggested about the girls, you're having trouble asking that Charles? You are correct however, if Angel experienced that level of emotional happiness, even just once, then he would become Angelus; a singularly vicious and dangerously powerful vampire killer without any remnant of a human soul."

"Man that has to bite." Charles grinned."

"Yes, well I'm sorry I'm not much in the mood for puns and jokes myself just now."

"Am I being rude and insensitive?"

"You're being you. In fact though you're quite right, you didn't know her, so you can be forgiven for not sympathising with how we feel, about her death I mean."

"I am Sorry man."

Wesley smiled over his cup. "Forgiven as I said. How's our Fred settling in?"

"She's settled, but she's kind of lost about everything. I mean it's like she remembers how everything works, but it's still like she's seeing it all for the first time you know? I'd say that by now; she's a couple of cans short of six pack."

"Yes, well, if we had to spend several years as a slave in a demon mad house; I suppose we'd all be a little… off as well."

"She kept asking me why everyone was upset, I think she thought everyone was crying because she was here. I told her a good friend of Angel's had just died."

"It was the truth."

"She seemed to accept it."

"Fred's not mad Charles, just lost."

"So… tell me about her."

"Buffy? Or Fred."

"Buffy of course."

"What do you want to know, I only knew Buffy for a while, and I wasn't her official watcher."

"Tell me about what you did know of her then."

"Very well, Buffy, was a vampire slayer as you've pointed out. I only knew her myself for a year or so. Slayers are the supernaturally powered girls that my order, the watchers, were created and charged with directing and guiding. One girl in each generation is born, at the turn of puberty or beyond, they are chosen by a higher power to be imbued with the astounding powers of a slayer. None of us still fully understand this power, our records say it was created long ago in ancient history by three powerful shaman's. It was they who chose the first slayer, they bound a power from the Earth to her. This gave her vastly enhanced strength, and healing ability. Buffy was discovering new powers in herself all the time. Giles, Her official watcher said she was constantly becoming faster and stronger after every fight."

"These girls they fight the vampires right?"

"Ostensibly, yes, but they also battle evil Wizards and demons. They are charged with the protection of a community to whom they are assigned. It's a rare slayer that lives to see past the age of twenty five years. Giles was hopeful that Buffy would make it, but tragically it seems that fate had other plans."

"Wesley… that tells me what she was, but… I asked you to tell me about her, who she was. Something special must have made Angel care for her so deeply."

Wesley acknowledged the touché with a smile and a nod. "Clever, I should always remember to give you more credit Charles. Buffy was a bright flame indeed, if a short flame on a short fuse, I mean her emotional temper not her physical height. Oddly, she was a very small girl for such a talented fighter."

"I don't really believe that Angel wanted her just because she could kick his arse."

"That's true; though make no mistake she could. Buffy had broken with the council, they and she didn't see … eye to eye about things, but what she didn't know is that she will be listed as one of the greatest slayers in history there; despite her rebellion to them. Buffy was powerful, beautiful, and a lot smarter than she gave herself credit for."

Wesley sat in silent a contemplatative pause for a while. Gunn decided to prompt him. "Go on Wes."

"Sorry Charles?"

"You went woolgathering there dude, you were telling me why Angel fell so hard for Buffy."

"Yes, well I was remembering the good things about her. Sorry my mind wanders these days. She was never as funny as she thought she was; she was much more cunning really. She had something that other people rarely possess, and that's… a true nobility, true courage and honour. She demonstrated a great strength in turning against the council. It was her example that persuaded me to do the same. Her death is a tragic loss to the entire world I think."

"Do you think Angel loved her for her courage or for her sense of honour then?"

"No, he loved her because she was Buffy and that's something; something no other slayer will ever be able to match."

"I guess that's my real answer then. Why can't you English use less words, you know, call a spade a spade. You guys invented the language didn't you?" Gunn stood up and stretched his legs. "Look Wes, I'll burn a candle in my local church for your friend. I really am sorry she's gone."

"That's a good start."

"Hey! Shame we couldn't get Groo to come back with us, he would've been handy in a tight corner."

"It's not his world here, in the long run he wouldn't have been happy."

Gunn nodded with a thoughtful expression upon his face. "Tell me about Willow? She seems like a sweet kid."

"Willow is, I mean she is, Willow is very a sweet and kind girl; but at the same time she does have another darker side to her. Giles says she may become one of the greatest witches in history if she keeps studying. She's kind hearted, and she has deep, untouchable emotions, really a very sensitive girl, quite often, we all know to step very carefully around her, especially when she has a bee in her bonnet about something."

"That an old English expression? Bee in her bonnet?"

"It suits Willow's moods. I certainly would never want to make the girl angry though; otherwise she's one of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet."

"Were she and Buffy close?"

"As close as any two people can be as friends I think. Buffy's death has most likely hit Willow far more deeply than she shows. She's sensitive, but deeply conscienscious also. In retrospect a slayer is not supposed to have any friends, but somehow Buffy was all the stronger and more sharply driven with her friends, than she ever was without them."

"What do you think Angel'll do now?"

Wesley fidgeted as he thought on the question. "For now? He'll sit in his room and brood and mourn, he'll bury his lost love, mourn some more, then return to his normal routine. Just with even more brooding. I think he was more prepared for her death than we expected. As she was the slayer he understood that Buffy always lived on borrowed time. This will hurt him deeply Charles, but it won't destroy him. I don't think Willow will recover so easily though, in the depths of her mind she persuaded herself that with her and Xander's support… that Buffy would make it to an old age."

"Do you think that any of us here might actually make it to an old age Wes?"

Wesley sipped his coffee whilst pondering a moment upon Gunn's question. "I suppose not to be fair, but I shan't brood on it."


"Good morning." Willow said in a barely fully awake voice to the dark brunette. She entered into the small kitchen whilst wearing only her travelling pajamas.

"Hey! Hi Willow." Cordelia replied with a sympathitic tone. "How are you feeling today?" Cordelia was dressed as surprisingly perfect for a first thing in the morning look , as she was always able to do. She had obviously arrived much earlier and was cooking a smorges board of breakfast.

Willow, on first seeing Cordeilia. She simply couldn't believe that a normal person was able to manage their hair so adroitly. At least not that early in the morning."I was okay, until I made the conscious memory of why I was here in your apartment. Then I just started to cry again." Willow climbed onto the bar stool beside Cordelia's dining table. She threw a handful of kleenex tissues into a waste paper can beside the table.

"I heard you... down in the bathroom last night, You know... letting it out some. I thought about coming down to check on you, but... I didn't want to intrude."

"You've been really great Cordelia, really great. You didn't even complain about my cold feet. Buffy... used to make me wear socks in bed, you know? When we had sleepovers at school." She smiled a thin lipped and weary smile to the other old school companion. "I miss her so much."

"I did think about it mind you." Cordelia said whilst looking down into her first coffee of the day. "I mean making you put on socks... well you do have cold feet. Still... It just felt like the least important thing to say at the time." She sat down on the vacant stool opposite Willow.

"You've been really supportive girl, thanks, I mean it. I was concerned that I'd keep you awake, you know, with me sobbing it out all night... but it was nice what you did, just holding my hand like that and letting me go… You've really grown up these past few years."

"So Angel keeps telling me."

"It's true."

"I'll miss Buffy too Willow." Cordelia placed her tanned skin hand over Willow's own pale fingers. "I know you guys think I'm just the bitch of the universe. Well… I am… but I've worked hard to achieve that title, so I deserve some recognition and tolerance of my bitchy skills. The past few years though, I guess they've sort of ironed me out some. I care more about people now, I guess cos'... I can empathize with their pain."

"Do you still get the headaches?"

"Like a mail truck in the face."

"I'll see if I can work up a herbal something to help. Tara's good at that."

"Hearing about Buffy being gone… it hit me harder than I guess I thought It would. You know I'm always trying to look like things don't matter to me, like I'm the strong one. Well, I realized I was sad, because I never took the chance to say goodbye to her. I've never had the chance told her how sorry I am for... well... for most... of the things I've said to her in the past, some of them were pretty darn cruel. I suppose i've never told her that I actually cared about her... as a friend I mean."

"We all saw you as a friend Cordy."

"Just not the best huh?" Cordelia smiled ruefully to the red headed witch. "Just shows I'm still the self centred, self absorbed bitch of the universe."

"I was surprised you let me stay in your bed."

"I don't understand Willow, why?"

"You always... seemed to be so paranoid of my … you know… partnership choices."

"Like we said, I've grown. I wasn't terrified that you'd just leap in and jump my bones Willow. I know people just... better than that these days. I'm still a bitch, okay! Just a more understanding one"

Willow was silent for a little while. The two young women slurped their coffee in silent, personal contemplation. Then, Willow said softly. "I used to have a bot of a crush on her. Buffy I mean, when we were still at school... before Oz."

Cordelia remained silent, she reached out her arm and squeezed Willow's hand, prompting the other woman to continue.

"When we first met I mean. I didn't really... understand all of my own feelings back then. I just used to think it was hero worship you know? Because she was a hero, she swept into danger to save me so many times, I lost count. Deep down really, she had all these deep, dark and personal issues though. I certainly got to be a party to every flavour of them."

"I used to wonder about the both of you together. Until I saw you with Oz I mean, but even then... after I heard you were actually gay. I kind of always wondered why you two never did actually get together."

"Duh!" Willow pronounced with a wide eyed expression. "Buffy was a strictly guys only girl. Oh! We were close, like family really. I mean her and her Mom used to treat me like a member of the family. Buffy though, I mean she was a really, really sexy gal. There were... fantasies, we used to share em. You know, best friend stuff. She didn't see me like that. Anyway, I didn't know I was gay back then." Willow returned quickly to her coffee following the babble.

"Willow… One thing I do know since I was first a teenager is people's inner primary desires." Cordelia stood up and stretched. "Buffy was not, strictly into guys, believe me. She may not have recognized her own feelings in herself. Probably gave you a bit of homophobia when she found out I bet?"

"Yeah! Actually she was kinda... acting freaked some."

"There ya go, latent fear of her own inner inability to admit her feelings." Cordelia smacked the table top lightly.

"Then she kinda just accepted it, like it was all suddenly okay again."

"It was more than her brain could explain. In secret though, she liked the new you. Buffy a little voice in the back of her head, one she never showed out to poeople. Girls can be guys too, it said."

Willow stared back at her old enemy with a confused expression. "I guess I'm just like, really naïve when it comes to relationships."

"Hey! If you feel it, deal it. Never die, never knowing. I do know that she cared about you a lot Willow. I'm really sorry for you, that she's gone out of your life."

Willow pulled a tissue form a kleenex box on the dining table and wiped her water filled eyes. "Ya know? You looked really hot in that outfit last night, just thought I'd take the time to mention it." She emitted a brief laugh around her tissue as she blew her nose.

Cordelia returned a reuful grin. "Thanks for the compliment, but I think I'll be sticking to my own wardrobe in future."

The two old school rivals looke at each other without speaking for a second. Then Willow broke the silence. "Will you be there tonight?"

"Of course… So I'd probably better start getting dressed hadn't I."

"Thanks Cordy… for being so understanding."

Cordelia smiled. She turned and headed for the doorway to the bedroom area, suddenly, she stopped and turned to look back at Willow. "I'm sorry." She said in a serious tone.

"For what now?"

"For everything I said to you as well, over all those years at school I mean. Sorry for the way I treated you. You never deserved any of that from me."

Willow smiled only with her eyes. "Thank you." She said.

"I'm too self absorbed to apologize too often, or if ever, so make the best of it."

"I know."

Willow and Cordelia stared at each other for a moment in silence. "I don't think I'm going to make it to thirty Willow." Cordelia said and gave her old adversary one last look ,then she walked away into the hall.

Willow stared after her; she was lost within her own, very deep thoughts.


"Is Willow back yet Tara?" Dawn appeared in the bedroom doorway.

"Yes sweetie, she's come with Angel and some friends from LA." Tara had been trying to keep the sense of atmosphere as light as possible around Dawn.

"Good." Dawn had her hands concealed behind her back. The pause went on in silence for several seconds. "Is there something you needed Dawnie?" Tara finally interjected.

"Well… that is… yeah!"

Tara raised her eyebrows in question.

Dawn removed a large sheet of paper from behind her back. "I spoke to Spike this afternoon."

"Oh! How's he doing?" Tara asked with some trepidation in her voice.

"He's stopped crying. He didn't stay long though."

"Is he coming tonight?"

"Yeah… he'll be there, when… you know. Says he's made promises to Buffy to keep me safe and doesn't want me wandering around the woods alone."

"That's… kind of nice."

"He also gave me this." Dawn handed over the sheet of rough blue paper.

Tara took it in hand from Dawn and lay the sheet out upon the bed. She tried to make sense of the set of technical drawings on one side. Suddenly realisation lit up within her. "Oh my! It's the Buffy robot blue prints."

"Spike says he took them off of the robots designer. He thinks they might be helpful in fixing her again."

"I'll give them to Willow, she'll make sense of them."

Dawns eyes were welling with tears as she stood in the doorway. "Yeah! Okay."

"How are you doing Dawn?"

"I feel like crap, excuse my French."

"There's nothing I couls find to say that'll make it better I know, but just know that Willow and I care deeply about you Dawn, and we'll do all that we can to be as good to you as you deserve. I promise"

"Yeah... and everyone I love goes away in the end." Dawn turned and walked back into the hall.

Tara sighed with an audibly depressed release of air. She rolled up the robots blue prints. Tara sat for a while and studied photographs of Buffy that Willow kept by their mirror. "Oh Buffy! Where did you go?" She said quietly .


"She's not as pretty as the original." Anya said, whilst fluffing the robots artificial hair with her fingers. It seemed like a very affectionate gesture. The robot treated Anya to an especially wide mouthed smile in reply, she made sure to expose lots of teeth.

This left Xander bemused even beyond his current sense of misery. "Anya I may have driven myself nearly blind in my teenage years but… No! I'm all of a mind fuzz. Tell me, how can the robot who I might add, looks exactly like the original Buffy, be less pretty?"

"Fudge mouth!" Anya said loudly. "Your beady little eyes don't see everything my demonically trained eyes do Xander. Remember I've been an expert at human anatomy. You know, throwing bits and pieces around?"

"Yeah I know, I try not to think about it, not too hard at least."

"Good times. I can see underneath just the surface of her face to the under structure. She's not as well defined as Buffy was underneath. Buffy had a very fine bone structure; she was pretty all the way through and not just a pretty face."

"It doesn't take demon eyes to know that Buffy was pretty."

"I spent a thousand years torturing men Xander, and generally dissecting them alive." She tilted her head in a proud gesture of that fact. "That gives you a feel for aesthetics in human anatomy. Aaaah! There was this one time with the Marquis Du Sade." Anya looked away in wistful pose as she spoke. "He wanted to commission this grand montage in human entrails…"

"I beg you never... to tell me any more than that; I have nightmares enough right now."

"Oh! I think that Anya's correct Xander, she's a thousand year old ex demon, and she would know." The robot pronounced. "I think the original Buffy was much prettier than me." The robot kept the wide smile evident upon her face, as she looked enthusiastically from one person to the other; she was nodding and smiling as she did.

"No offence robot Buffy, but really, how would you know? You're just a programmed machine."

"I told you Xander. Buffybot has self learning architecture in her make up. Willow's found a way to boost the chip speed so that it will start working, courtesey of Spike of course. Aaaw! I think she's just the smartest little thing. So much nicer than the original." Anya again ruffled the robots blond hair. The ex demon and the robot gave each other wide and toothy smiles.

"Will you two please stop smiling so inanely all the time. Honestly, it makes me feel like you're preparing to... rip my throat out with your teeth."

"You're just jealous because now I have a Buffy all of my own. Aaaw! I love her." Anya threw her arms around the robot, who whilst keeping her wide grin on her face, hugged the ex demon in return. "The only other real woman friend I've ever had was Hallie, so it's so nice to finally find another one."

"She's a robot Anya, just nuts and bolts; it's not like she is really, real."

"Shhhh! Xander you'll hurt her feelings."

"It doesn't have any…. Damnit why does it have to come to the funeral anyway.I mean it's not like it does have any real feelings. It's not going to miss Buffy like we do."

"She has feelings, granted their simulated right now. When we start her learning architecture up, she'll start developing real feelings."

"Yes! I have thirteen thousand four hundred and seventy two, independent program routines to simulate feeling, happiness, love, joy, pleasure, sadness, stimulation of my…"

"Right! Thank you Buffy bot. I get the idea. See what I mean An? Simulated feelings. Whichever way you butter her up, she's still a mecha Buffy and nothing more."

"She has feelings that's enough in my book. Anyway, we need her at the funeral whatever. If there's any lurking things watching us tonight, then we need the robot to be there. That way they won't think it's the slayer we're burying; and she's still nicer than the original."

"How do you classify the robot as nicer?"

"Buffy was prejudiced toward demons."

"She was a demon fighter, of course she was prejudiced toward demons, she had to kill them."

"She didn't have to enjoy it."

Xander sighed.

"I need the robot there to make me feel safe."

"What about just hnouring our friends memory?"

"I'm doing that today and for a long time to come."

"How now?"

"By living each day in shop motivated profit."

"I think I'd like to keep a little more faith in Buffy's memory. Squeezing her down into financial remuneration in a till, that just doesn't feel like a twenty one gun salute."

"I guess we'll soon all be dead anyway."

"Now... how did you get to that idea from turning Buffy into greenbacks?"

"When Buffybot… love her, but still, when Buffybot makes her first mistake. Then we'll all be tortured and mutilated horribly." Anya indicated the robot with an apologetic expression.

"Well, Buffybot won't make any mistakes. Will you Buffybot?"

"I won't make any mistakes, I will be Buffy; I'm going to be the new Buffy."

"We just need you to do your best."

"I'll do my very best; I'll be the best Buffy ever." The robot gave them both another wide mouthed and toothy smile.

"God help us all." Xander said placing his hands over his face.


"It's all arranged,? Thank you! Yes, she was I believe Presbyterian, so those passages will be fine. You understand the need for total secrecy in this . Of course. Of course. Thank you for being so understanding, yes she saved many people's lives in Sunnydale and elsewhere. Indeed you might say... everywhere. We'll be there just after sundown. I hope we can remember the exact location, and please just confirm it's still on church consecrated ground. Good, thank you. I'll pass on your commiseration to everyone here." Giles placed the telephone back within its cradle.

"You know I didn't have any idea that she was Presbyterian."

Giles looked up, to see Willow standing in the shop doorway entrance. He smiled with a grim, tight-lipped expression. "Welcome home Willow, yes... Well at least her mother was, and I seem to recall that Buffy told me at some point that it was on her birth certificate. I suspect it was why she was so often fanatical about her slaying... doing the lords work and all that." Giles said delicately he seemed to be had been practicing speaking a little more softly to the scoobies, ever since the night of Buffy's death.

"The truth would more likely be, a monster fighter, hero agnostic, but actually, yeah! I seem to recall something of that myself."

"Are you planning to do anything, for the... funerary procedures. You know Willow... after Dawn's decisions are made; any other input should come from yourself. You were, at least an... honorary member of the Summers family"

"I'm sure you've got it all in hand Giles. I'm kinda... planning to do something special with Tara during the daylight tomorrow, it's all involved and wiccany, so…"

"And private to you?"

"Yeah! But I'm gonna have a session with my Rabbi during the week as well; something about reciting some obscure passage from some old Hebrew text he has, farewell to the hero of the people."

"I'm sure it will all help. I've not heard of that text before though?"

"It's something from his private library to do with the days of King David's conquests."

"Does he know about... Buffy?"

"She saved his father from a Riharal demon, one night last June."

"She just couldn't stay secret."

"Buffy was different in every way Giles. That's just what was special about her."

Giles nodded with a sorrowful smile. "Do you want to make a speech?"

"I don't think I'd finish it if I started, so no! you're better at that, than I am Giles, I'll just wind up all... chokey and weepy."

"Of course, not really, actually sure if I can do it myself yet either, words just never seem like... enough."

"What did you find that was appropriate in the end?"

"The dress? You mean? Tara and Dawn picked it out, it's really, quite lovely."

"And very black?"

"Yes... quite."

"The stone?"

"A few more days I'm afraid, but I worked with Xander on the words."

Willow raised her eyebrows indicating Giles should continue.

"Sorry, yes, Well I chose... in the end 'Beloved sister, Devoted friend, w-was that an appropriate choice?"

Willow nodded with a sad half smile. "It's really very nice, and... very true."

"Xander added his own idea, I was going to say no to it, but then I thought that it was in fact, extremely appropriate. 'She saved the world a lot.' Simple, and rather direct I thought."

Willow smiled and gently laughed with her gaze held upon the floor. "Xander always knows how to get it right."

"How was your trip?"

"How was Angel you mean?"

"Just so."

"He took it quite well... all things considered, he's at the house with Cordy and Wes. You know Cordy's become a really... nice person, or at least she doesn't use every other sentence to insult someone any more."

"Aaaah! progress."

"Wesley's improved as well, he's not so pathetic as he used to be."

"I'll see them later, what about…?"

"He cried a lot at first Giles, then he brooded for the entire night, or so Wesley told me. But, then I cried most of the night as well, so... Anyway, we finally managed to get him shut in the trunk of the car. He's hardly said a word to anyone yet, but he didn't turn into Angelus, so… yay!"

"Will he stay... to help?"

"You'll have to ask him."

Giles nodded silently. "So… Willow, did you want to spend some private time with… with Buffy?"

"You know, I've been putting this off, cos' I know how much it's gonna… you know… really sting."

"I'll just be out here if you need a shoulder Willow. Isn't Tara going in with you?"

"She's entertaining the guests, and she has to keep one beady eye on Dawn as well."

"Does Angel want to go in later?"

"I don't think so, it's not his way Giles. He likes to keep it all just between him and his own private misery"

"Will you be alright in there?"

Willow shook her head. "No...! I really don't kinda think I will be."

"And you still want to go in alone?"

"I have to do it Giles, I can't just say goodbye to her. Not when she's being dropped inside that box into some muddy hole in the ground. I have to say farewell while I'm still able to see her face." Willow sniffled, and wiped the welling tears from her eyes as she spoke.

"I understand Willow... I'll leave you both, in peace."


"You look so peaceful now."

Willow stood beside the long table. She gazed down upon the embalmed corpse of her best friend. She reached out her hand and traced the back of it lightly over Buffy's cold, smooth cheek; she rested it a moment upon the dead girls pale skin.

Buffy was lying on her back in a form-fitting, black funeral outfit. Her hair had been carefully straightened and all in all, to Willow's eyes; Buffy seemed very much at peace. Almost as if she were merely asleep.

"You know Buffy, I just didn't expect that you might ever have to die. I believed... I truly did, that the two of us would be together in old age. Hey! you remember, when we thought that I'd have to keep the prescriptions for you, you know, in our eighties together? And... and you'd be always looking for your pills." Willow sat down on the table beside Buffy's lifeless figure, she ran her fingers through the corpses straightened, blond locks of hair. "Well... I guess that'll never happen now will it? I'll do it with Tara though, you can watch and have giggle at us." She stood up and laid Buffy's hair carefully to rest.

"So heres hopin that ya made it ta heaven... Huh!" She leant down and placed her head onto Buffy's forehead. "Goddess! I'm gonna miss you so much Buffy. I miss your Mom and I miss you already. It really hurts more than I can say it. I know you had to jump, I know there was no other way. I just can't help wishing that Dawn had been the one to have to go. You had no chance to have a real life Buffy, please forgive me for thinking that. I can't help it." Tears fell off the end of her nose onto the floor.

"I love Tara Buffy, and I plan to have a whole long life with her. Hey! Maybe we'll raise a daughter between us, and I'll name her Buffy after you." Willow placed a kiss upon the blond head of the dead slayer. "I'll miss you for the restof my life Buffy, I loved you so much, you were my best friend. Please, oh please Buffy, don't be where I think you are. Goddess I beg of you, don't let her be in hell."

She could see her tears dripping upon the corpses cold skin. "Goodbye my dearest friend, I'll remember you, always." Willow stood back from the table.

From somewhere in the building she could hear a woman's deep soulful sobs. 'She must be crying someplace nearby poor girl' Willow thought. Maybe it was Dawn. She should go find her and give comfort.

Willow slowly, slid to the floor to her knees beside the table. An arm came to rest upon her shoulders. A pair of strong male hands lifted her from where she knelt, beside the table.

With a parental guiding carefulness, Giles supported Willow underneath her arms; and led the choking and sobbing red head from the chilly and lonely room.


"Online."

'That was quick.'

"Sexy Spike!" 'No wait... Cancel program. Spike's an evil, horrible thing.''

"Stop saying that. Willow you said, that program was gone."

'Scanning left. Oh! Willow and Xander are here.'

"I did, I-I mean I thought I did. The blue prints you gave to us showed the location of all her data discs. I'm sure I got them all."

"It's alright Willow, that program has been deleted from my internal banks. New directives state that Spike is a loveless monster with no human morals. Plus he has an ego the size of Nebraska."

"Yeah, Yeah alright. No need to rub it in, just shut the hell up about it that's all."

"Can't take the heat? Then stay out of the kitchen Spike."

Spike stepped back from the robot in shock. "Well what do ya know, Robbie the robots getting as cheeky as the original. What you been teaching her Willow?"

"It must be her holistic learning routines. It looks like her designer was working on a self learning artificial intelligence program. I activated the architecture from the blueprint chip diagrams. I guess she's working on advanced Buffy simulation routines."

"You mean to tell me that iron breath here is actually developing intelligence?"

"I guess... yeah sorta, It's more like a trial and error experimental program. I still need to find a way to release her chip speed suppression codes."

"Oooh! You mean like data in start trek?" Xander said with childlike glee.

"Uuuhm! Yeah... sorta... Buffy... robo Buffy throws out these advanced experimental routines and kinda, backstudies us to see if they make sense from our reactions to her."

"Yes! I am going to become a Buffy just like Buffy." The robot smiled widely at everyone she could see.

"See. She's new and improved." Willow waved her arms and smiled all around.

Spike gave the two scoobies a glowerful look. "Why did you do that?"

"Hey!" Xander stepped forward angrily and stood slightly in front of Willow. "Willow just used the blue prints you gave her to fix this blond workshop up. Some of us actually miss Buffy Spike. Willow just wanted it to become more Buffy like for Dawn, to ease her into fact that Buffy's gone. Isn't that right Will?"

"It's not only that Xander. We need her to act as much like original Buffy as possible. The undead in town have to believe it's the real slayer or we're really... in real trouble."

"Yeah, well... Like I ever gave a toss for any of you anyway. I'm only honouring Buffy's memory, that means i'm only looking out for Dawn. The rest of you lot can get stuffed."

"We're all looking out for Dawn Spike."

"Oh and what are you going to do to to keep her safe from the night nasties toy boy? Bleed on em and hope they contract something nasty? Maybe like... burger munchers elbow, or... carpenters knee perhaps?"

"O-okay boys, we're about to attend our best friends funeral, so... just behave yourselves, okay?" Willow held Xander back.

Spike blew the angry workman a kiss.

"Spike, you're just playing up because you're upset. So why don't you just go join the others okay? We're all going to be feeling down enough enough tonight, without you adding to things okay? Go on, go."

Spike grew silent under Willow's admonishing glare, he threw his 'fag' onto the ground; stepped on it and nodded to the little witch. "Fair enough." With that said, he walked off into the woods behind the church.

"You want me to pummel the blond pratt until his fat, white ego ridden head bursts?" Buffybot asked the two scoobies.

"N-no! That's okay Buffybot. Just try to be quiet tonight please. Try to be all somber okay?"

"Sure thingarooni Willow, I can do the best Buffy..."

"Shush! Now follow us into the woods at the back of this church."

"Hey! There's Angel, he looks yummy, do you think he looks yummy?"

"It's not really my area of concern any more Buffybot, Xander do you think Angel looks Yummy?"

"Not so much."

"He's my Angel."

"Look! I'll tell you what Buffybot, why dontcha turn off the Angel appreciation sub routine for tonight okay. I don't think Angel wants to be pestered by a Buffy simulation just now."

"Oh! Okay Willow, sub routines cancelled for twelve hours."

"Is she gonna work out with this new found intelligence routine?"

"I-It'll work out, i-it's working out."

"I hope you know what you're doing then Willow."

"Is Anya really taking Buffybot patrolling tonight?"

"Yep, I tried to talk her into staying in with me, you know, it'd be nice maybe to just be with my fiancee; on the night I have to bury my best friend."

"I didn't realise she was so enthusiastic."

"Buffy's officially gone tonight, she feels safer being with the robot, and being able to see the enemies she can see."

"That's nice. Look here's Tara."

"Hey you two, hey Buffybot."

"Tara, you're Willow's beloved, you're sweet and kind and beautiful."

"Uh huh! Willow you added some text lines didn't you." Willow beamed a smile and swung around at the waist to swish her black skirts.

"I did, but she's much nicer now don't you think?"

"Not appropriate for a funeral though."

"I need something to keep me from breaking down again Tara. You look nice in black."

Tara interlocked arms with her red headed partner. "Well duh!"

"C'mon Giles's car has pulled up with Dawn."

"Hey! Angel why are you standing here... with Spike?"

"We can't go any farther than here."

"Trust that fawning toff Giles, he had to do it on concecrated ground; he's never liked vampires."

"Hardly surprising don't you think, You know? His girlfriend killed by one, him tortured by one." Xander accused.

Angel either ignored him, or was too upset to rise to the taunt.

"Xander you can behave as well. I'm sorry guys, but Giles didn't want local vamps accidentally tripping over the grave." Willow said in a placating tone.

"So now I've got stay here with the quiff boy ponce all night."

"Yeah! Guys, just try not to fight... okay?"

"What. Phtah! You think I'd bother to waste my time on the night of Buffy's funeral worrying about him? He'll be too busy crying like a girl." Spike however was dripping a tear down his own face. The gang stared at him with eybrows raised. "Yeah, well it's dusty out here, alright, sides why would I stay and get all kum baya with you lot. not when I can stand... at... another... part of the wood... where... you lot... aren't." He popped a fresh 'fag' in his mouth; turned around and marched of brusquely into the shadows.

"Will he be alright?" Tara asked.

"Spike just doesn't want to cry like a girl in front of me." Angel stood stock still and never turned his gaze toward anyone. He seemed fixated upon the burial glade area.

The scoobies all grimaced to one another and walked on.

"Really Angel is a great guy and I love him, we have a fairy tale romance." 'My programming confirms it. I tried to stop and get Angel's attention but Xander grabbed my elbow and carried me along with the others'.

"No, Buffybot, not right now, just walk this way."

"If I walk that way I'll trip over Xander." Xander sighed and deigned not to respond.

'Xander let go of me once we had stopped in a small clearing. There was a mound of dirt and a square pit in the ground. "Is that a grave?"

"Yes Buffybot. Now I want you to be silent for the rest of the night alright. I'll let you know when you can talk." 'Willow said this very clearly into my face.'

'I raised my hand.' "Yes Buffybot you have a question?"

"What should I do instead of talk."

"Just stay silent and stand solemnly beside us. Try to watch everybody, and how they react, okay?"

'I nodded, I'd watch everybody and I'd analyse everything.'

'There's Dawn. She's Buffy's sister, I think that now must make her my sister. I gave her a smile, but she's just looking at the ground, she's... crying... that's it, crying. The act of expressing the expulsion... Odd, that descriptions starting to seem inadequate to my central processor functions. Somehow her crying makes me... feel... that's it... feel... like... like... crying, but I can't. Oooh! Giles has an arm around her. I waved , but he just gives me a straight faced nod in reply. I don't think he likes me very much.'

"Hey Buffybot!"

I smiled and put an arm around Anya, that seems appropriate.

"Not speaking,? Are you broken in some way?"I shook my head and smiled some more. Anya seemed to bounce nervously from foot to foot in expectancy of a reply. I just shrugged my shoulders, but Willow spoke up.

"Buffybot, you may reply to Anya."

"Willow says I have to stay silent and watch everyone, and how they react."

"Oh! Okay. We're still going patrolling afterward though." Anya paused with her smile still aimed at me. "That's kind of, sort of, an order." She grinned widely, and patted my head.

Everyone was standing in a half circle around the grave. Giles remained standing beside Dawn. She had a distant and saddened expression, fluid was coming out of her nose and eyes. Anya seemed to make an effort to cheer Xander up by holding onto his arm, and Willow and Tara stood arm in arm.

'Wesley, 'he's an ex watcher and an update date entry states him as being, more pleasant to talk to than when he was a jerk'. He's standing with his head lowered looking at the ground. I don't see what's so interesting there though. Cordelia is a vapid bitch with no brains and only a saving grace in skanky fashion sense. No further updates. She's strangely quiet. My memory channels state that that's unusual.'

'I want to feel what they are all feeling. It's a whole new experience to sense these new abstract programs. That minister made a long speech, I tried to understand all the nice things he was saying about me, I know he'e referring to the Buffy they're putting in the Earth. I want to be able to live up to all his statements about her. I have to be the hero now. They just bought out a long box. I think Buffy is inside it. This must be how dead people are buried.'

'Dawn is crying loudly. Willow is staring at the ground, Tara has her arm placed around her shoulder. I analyse the simple human gestures they make. I want to know what it feels like. Maybe I should offer sex to Angel, He's yummy. Xander is holding hands with Anya, she's an ex demon, and Xander's fiancee, they're getting married... at sometime. Anya is one of my best friends. Xander is my best friend. Maybe I should offer sex to them... would that would be innapropriate, because Xander would faint. Anya however, would say yes.'

'Some men are lowering the box into the square grave... they are lowering Buffy's... box, data check... Coffin. Into the ground. Everyone has their heads lowered. Dawn has her face turned into Giles's jacket.'

'I tried practising the solemn expression. That was easy, but I can't make water from my eyes. I can practise the sobbing sounds however.'

'Xander's looking at me with an angry expression. I'm certain I have the sob tones correct, he can't be angry with the accuracy of my simulation, I matched it against all the Buffy permutations in my data storage.'

'Willow's walking over to me. I smile at her widely. I hope my simulation was correct, I want her to be proud of me. I already feel that special bond in my sub has a very wet face. She's putting her fingers into my ears.'

Black...


Tara came into the bedroom, softly, she shook Willow awake. "Sorry to wake you up sweetie, but you wanted to know when they got back in."

Willow opened her eyes, but closed them tightly against the light seeping through the door from the hallway. She sat up and turned on her bedside table lamp. "Mmmmm! Okay, Unnnnh! How did they do?"

Tara climbed back into bed beside her. "Anya's happy, I think she wants to take the bot out again all this week." She said in a half whisper.

"So long as she doesn't get Buffybot injured... " Willow paused and caught herself in mid speech, then added. "I mean damaged."

"She was okay, no broken parts. The bots really starting to get clever though, that neurea... network... holisticy thingy is really giving her a believable IQ."

"Good, At least one of them has some sense in them whilst out there then."

Tara chuckled. "Willow! Play nice baby. How are you feeling after getting some sleep."

"Yeah! Better... awful still, but feeling a little better despite."

"Don't try to rush things Willow. It's going to take some time for both you and Dawn, and Xander."

Willow lay back down and reached out to run her thumb over a photograph of herself and Buffy together.

Tara waited patiently for Willow to speak up.

"We took this one in our first freshman term together. Buffy was having a bad day, it's why she's not smiling like I was. She was nerver a morning person." Willow didn't turn back to meet Tara's eyes.

"We'll mourn her together sweetie. Looking after Dawn's gonna be enough for us to cope with."

"She's so willful and self involved Tara. Sometimes I really have to bite my tongue not to lose my temper with her. I love her though."

"Me too, Love her I mean. She's a struggle, but she's a teenager. She's allowed to be a little... you know... Teenage. Okay a lot teenage, but she's still loveable and she has a lot of growing up to do."

"I hope we can do it okay."

"Hey! You're the best mom in the world. I kow... okay?"

"Okay."

"She'll make it, and we'll be there to make sure she makes it."

Willow was quiet for a few moments "I don't know where she is Tara."

"Willow, I don't think..."

"We don't know do we? She could be, don't you see Tara, she could be. I have nightmares Tara, Buffy's in them screaming...a-and calling for us and..." Willow stopped in mid sentence, she seemed to be about to break down again.

Tara placed her arm around the distressed woman.

"Willow, you have to relax, they're just nightmares, you're manifesting your own fears."

Silence fell over the lovers for a while. "Whose going to lead us now Tara?"

Tara adjusted her train of thought to meet the jump in conversation. "There's no question Willow, it has to be you."

"Me! Why?"

"You were the closest to Buffy, you were with her the longest, and you're all super smart. Maybe smarter than Giles even. I'm not the leader type, and Xander isn't the leader type either. Anya just isn't suitable to lead, and Giles isn't a leader or a follower, he's sort of just... Giles."

"Yeah, and now, what with Buffy gone... I think he's getting homesick."

"No question then that it has to be you Willow."

"What If I tried to bring her back." Willow said whilst keeping her back to Tara."

"Willow... We've had this conversation."

"It was a mystical death Tara, that's not part of the law of fate. There's still a chance I can pull her back."

"I'm not even sure it's possible."

"There's deeper, older rituals Tara, I can work them.I know I can."

"With untold dangers to yourself Willow."

"I can't just abandon her Tara."

"Willow... Buffy chose to die, that's still part of the law. She gave her life, so that others might live, that's a self sacrifice."

Willow looked away, but said nothign."

Tara released her arm from Willow's shoulder and stroked the red heads thick hair. "I'm sorry baby, but she's gone, really she is. I miss her too, It's awful i know and I'm sorry. I kow you're all hurting more than you know how to say it."

Then in a soft and low voice, Tara said. "She's gone."

"She deserved better."

"It can't be done for selfish reasons."

"Then let me do it then cause I'm too scared to go outside without her here."

"I'll agree to let you research it sweetie. But nothing more unless we all agree, okay? I mean it Willow."

Willow nodded and lay back down on her front. "Yeah! Whatever."

"Try to get some sleep sweetie. You've a had a very hard few days, I'll stroke you softly till you go okay?"

Willow nodded but kept her face toward the far wall.

Tara sighed softly and lay down beside her. She remained awake for a while, and stroked Willow's red maine; until she was certain that her partner was deep asleep.

Tara slipped quietly into her own dreams.

Willow opened her eyes and turned to see her beloved sleeping. She turned back and leant over her own side of the bed. There, she pushed the large ancient book back underneath the bed. The heavy leather bound volume of Resurrection und die Wyrm slid silently beneath where she lay. Then Willow lay back down and closed her eyes.

She slipped into sleep, and for once, no nightmares came.