Just another Kid Icarus story I thought of. A novelization of Cragalanche's fight with Pit from Cragalanche's point of view. That and there weren't many stories about Cragalanche on Fanfiction. I thought I should change that. Please read, review, and enjoy.
A Rocky Point of View
Well, we all knew it would happen eventually. It was only a matter of time before Mistress Viridi's patience with humanity would reach it's zenith. Oh, but listen to me. I've completely forgotten my manners. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Cragalanche the Mighty, or Crag for short. A pleasure to make your aquaintance. I am a commander in Mistress Viridi's army, a group appropriately named the Forces of Nature. Alongside me are Commander Arlon, Master of the Lunar Sanctum. He's quite the reserved old fellow, but knows how to make killer tea. The other commander is Commander Phosphora. A beautiful, but powerful member of the Forces of Nature who specializes in lighning-based powers. Admittedly, I have a bit of a crush on her. And if you tell anyone I said that, I will deny it.
Now Mistress Viridi is the Goddess of Nature. Her role is to protect and preserve the balance of nature. Mistress Viridi had always been very vocal regarding her contempt for humanity due to the selfish and thoughtless way they exploit nature and each other over the centuries, so it was only a matter of tiem before she would act on that contempt. All she needed was the right motivation. Which brings us the the event I mentioned earlier. Mistress Viridi had just dropped a Reset Bomb on an area where the humans were fighting. Reset Bombs are Mistress Viridi's ultimate weapons. Basically, they're the equivalent of the atomic bomb. They are talor made to destroys humans and human made structures while sparing wildlife and natural resources. The impact of a Reset Bomb triggers a flood of brambles that in turn become a potent fertilizer. The area hit by a Reset Bomb eventually becomes a dense jungle, uninhabitable by humans.
The reason behind this, you ask? Last week, the humans impulsively started an international war over rumors of a fake wish instigated by Hades, the shifty and shady Lord of the Underworld. Not a pleasant fellow in the least. Now, normally that would be the end of it. But there was a hitch in the plan: Palutena, the Goddess of Light and Pit, the Captain of her Guard. They are both the self-proclaimed defenders of humanity, and that inevitably puts them at odds against us. Readying my troops under the orders of Mistress Viridi, we took off for the Reset Bomb Forest. Hiding on a high ledge, I waited until Pit flew within range. "Come on out, Cragalanche!" Came Mistress Viridi's order. I encased myself in stone and dropped down like a meteor. It's my modus operandi. I tend to strike the front lines of battle like this. It's the perfect way to strike fear in the hearts of the enemy. Pit managed to fly out of the way, so I didn't hit Pit directly. But I did manage to knock him out of the sky.
Hitting the ground, I landed in the heart of the forest. There was nothing I could do now but wait for my opponent to arrive. I wouldn't have to wait long because an hour later, Pit arrived. He looked quite young for a seasoned warrior, around 13 in human years. His hair was brown with many tuffs in it. His skin was fair and he had large blue eyes. He wore a white chiton that was decorated with red and gold hems on the bottom. It was fastened on the shoulder by a single gold pin with a ruby-like gem embedded on it. He wore the outfit with a brown belt with silver edges and a gold, triangular buckle on his waist. Pit also wore navy blue tights beneath his chiton. The angel had a pair of bronze and gold cuffs on his wrists, a gold bracelet on his upper left arm, and another gold ring on his right thigh. Pit's sandals were brown and decorated with crossing, beige bands. The top edges of his shoes had what appeared to be white fur or wool.
Breaking out of my rocky cocoon, I rolled over to face him. "Cragalanche, huh?" The young angel asked. "What are you, a monster truck?'
"Pit, huh? What are you? A hole in the ground?" Came the rebuttal from Mistress Viridi, ever the epitome of dry wit and deadpan snark. I decided to make the first move. Rasing my left hand, I threw a fireball in Pit's direction. Pit managed to dodge it and fired several shots from his bow. Rasing my hands, I blocked the arrows. They hurt a little but didn't do much damage. That's one of the benifits when you're made of stone. It seemed Pit had great reflexes. "Guy doesn't talk much, does he?" Pit asked.
"He's a rock. Last I checked, they're more of the strong, silent type. Tell you what-I'll do the talking for him. Cragalanche crush!" Mistress Viridi replied. It's true. I can't really talk so the words you have been hearing are in my head. I spent years trying to develop a will of my own to better serve Mistress Viridi, but I never got around to learning how to talk. Luckily for me, the gang can understand my body language enough. I do wish Mistress Viridi would stop doing that. I'm not some mindless brute.
I quickly charged at the angel head first, narrowly hitting him and landing on my head. I quickly got back on my feet. "Wow!" Pit exclaimed. "Nice moves!"
"Yes! He's been practicing this routine all week!"Mistress Viridi said. I exercise daily to keep in shape. Running up to Pit, I reared back my right hand and enlarged it, then I punched Pit with enough force that it sent the angel flying backwards. He immediately jumped back on to his feet and charged at me. I tried to punch him again, only for Pit to jump clean over my head and fire a shot at my back. That was unfortunately my Achllies heel as it sent me onto my side. "Hey! There's a weak spot on his butt!" Pit said, stating the obvious.
"Arrgh! Oh, he was supposed to get that fixed!" Mistress Viridi said. Yes. It was a bruise I received during a battle weeks ago. It was relatively simple to fix, but I chose to keep it out of some foolishly misplaced vanity. After all, chicks love a man with scars. It was a decision that I am now starting to regret. Quickly getting back on my feet, I punched the ground to send a shockwave in Pit's direction. Pit dodged it and swung around behind me to get another shot into my back. I quickly turned around to toss another fireball at him. It was more of a wild shot if anything and a futile one as Pit quickly got a shot off before I could turn around, knocking me onto my side again. Pit seized the opportunity to attack with melee strikes. I got back up and knocked him away, realizing that I had to regain control of the fight or I wouldn't last long.
No more fooling around.
Rapidly spinning, I tunneled underground until I was directly beneath Pit. I then launched upwards, uppercuting him and sending him into the air. Right before he landed, I reared back my fist and punched him again, sending him flying. While he laid on the ground, I performed my earthquake attack. I slammed both fists on the ground and raised them as if I was pulling a chunk of the earth up, causing an explosion and sending Pit into the air towards me. I turned my left hand into a large whip and knocked him away. I didn't want to give him a chance to counterattack so I rolled towards him, hoping to crush him. Pit got out of the way just as I closed in on him. I quickly threw up a wall of boulders and sent them straight at Pit. He managed to dodge them and closed in on me again.
I tried to punch him, but he jumped over my head again and threw something at me. It wasn't a grenade, nor was it a smart bomb. I was about to attack him until I noticed that he was just standing their with a cocky smirk on his face. That when I felt an explosion on my back. He must have thrown a Boom Spear on me. I walked around in pain, unfortunately exposing my back. Pit fired a charged shot and that proved to be the mortal blow. I fell to the ground on my back. I could feel my vision dimming as my conciousness began fading. I wasn't scared of the prospect of dying as the Gods are capable of reviving their champions if they fall. That, and I managed to buy Mistress Viridi enough time to complete the next Reset Bomb. But I have to say, Pit was truly worthy of the title Captain of the Guard. I've never faced such a worthy adversary. And with that, my body exploded.
The End
Well, that ends my tale. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as I've enjoyed writing it. And feel free to read my other Kid Icarus story, Sexual Educations of the Angelic Kind. It's for all you PitxPanty Anarchy fans out there, but be warned that it's rated M.
