Overcome with passion? Perhaps. In love? Maybe. Karl and I would become my best kept secret. Not even Marin was privy to our tryst and he had been a good friend for a long time.
I stood in the library, behind the shelves where we had decided to meet. I was nervous. "I love women" I had told him. "Pretty girls. You have a beard!" It all came out as a whimper. Karl had his hand on my neck, trailing lazy circles behind my ear. It was all very distracting. He laughed.
"I know. But admit it. You're curious." At that he had leaned forward and kissed me for the first time and I was stunned. Mostly because I really liked the way his beard tickled my lips. This was unexpected. To be completely honest, scary as hell! Freaking me out, even, and at the same time I knew he was right. I was curious. But not about everyone, about him. My Karl. My boyfriend? No, no, no, this was just outrageous, even for me, rebellious mage that I was.
Not quite sure how I should react, my hands fluttered by my sides, as he continued to kiss me in an almost friendly way. "Karl" my voice was shaking. Leaning back, giving me room to breathe and to think, he asked me if I would see him later. I could only nod agreement. I didn't really trust my voice.
And here I was, waiting for a man that I hardly knew I had feelings for until he kissed me. Karl had been a friend for so long. How could I not have noticed this? Part of me wanted to run away, bed a woman, any woman just to prove I was still a man. Another part of me wanted desperately to kiss him again.
I heard footsteps on the stairs. Not the heavy tread of Templar boots, but the careful walk of a magi. Robes rustling softly, Karl stepped into view and my heart leapt. Shit. If I wasn't in love, I had a serious infatuation going. Well, wasn't this awkward?
"Anders" he reached out a hand. I hesitated, but took it.
"Let's get out of here" I said, all impulse. "Let's run away somewhere. I can't stand the circle anymore. I want to be free Karl. I want to breathe without gagging on the stink of sweaty Templars." I took a step closer, firing up my flirtiest smile, the one that always made the tavern girls giggle. "I want to love…" As I spoke my voice got shaky and nervous. I didn't care.
Karl watched my outburst with an amused smile, the way he always did when I let my ideas get away with me.
"Anders, the Circle is here for a reason, you know that. I don't want to leave, and neither should you." He stepped closer as if to bridge the distance his words had created.
I think this was the start of the end of our love affair, but I was too infatuated with him to realize it. As a man, falling in love with another man was new to me, but I have since come to realize love takes no prisoners. Literally.
The fear of discovery, spiced with the thought that if we were discovered we would not only be two mages in bed with each other, but two male mages… Well, let's just say it added to the tension, sexual and otherwise.
Karl and I lasted for a few lovely months, until I felt the need to run away again. I was never very good at staying in one place, and Karl never did change his mind when it came to the Circle. With Karl, I discovered things about myself I never would have known without him. And that was why I decided to help Hawke find a way into the Deep Roads. Karl was in serious trouble, and he had come to me for help. How could I possibly refuse him?
As if on cue she showed up on my doorstep. She needed help. I needed help.
Destiny.
