ok, so just a few things first: the rating will definitely change, but to what I'm not sure yet. the genre might also change because I'm still not entirely sure what this story will be just yet so please keep that in mind. this story is AU, but everything leading up to the grilled cheesus episode won't be. there will be some violence in the next chapter, but it won't be too horrible, I promise. well...it won't be in graphic detail.
I know this first chapter is rushed but I promise if you stick with it it'll get better, hopefully. so yeah, just keep in mind that the rating will change (that's the big thing) and I think that's it so I'll stop talking now. if there's anything else, there will be messages on my tumblr (likeaserenade).
I do not own blaine, kurt or any other characters/figures related to glee.
CHAPTER ONE
"You never could dress yourself," Kurt said to his father with a small laugh as he finished buttoning the hospital gown.
"Mercedes took me to church on Sunday, it's funny but the choir was singing and this memory flashed into my head. Do you remember our first Friday night dinner after mom died? You tried to make chicken? I guess you wanted me to feel like there was something still normal."
Kurt smiled sadly at the memory as a broken laugh left his lips. "You put it on the table, and you cut into it and it was raw. And we both looked at each other for a second and cracked up before we remembered we were supposed to yet."
There was a moment of quiet before Kurt spoke again, this time instead of a story, it was an apology.
"I'm sorry about the other day dad; I should have let those guys pray for you. It wasn't about me, it was about you and it was nice." Kurt grabbed the limp hand lying on the hospital bed, desperately wanted his father to wake up. "I don't believe in God dad, but I believe in you. And I believe in us. You and me. That's what's sacred to me. And I'm…and I'm so sorry I never got to tell you that."
And then the steady beep of the heart monitor went flat.
The next few days were a blur to Kurt.
Everything he did became lifeless and robotic; he stopped his elaborate routines of getting ready for bed and for school, now just donning looser fitting jeans and a big sweatshirt with completely ungelled hair and red rimmed eyes. When at school he never talked to anyone, just silently slipping through the halls. Occasionally he would hear students asking one another if there was a new transfer student, but eventually realized they were talking about him because of his newly adopted appearance. He never participated in his classes anymore and only spoke when absolutely necessary, even in his French class.
He even noticed that the bullies were keeping their distance and not tormenting him like they normally did. Kurt couldn't decide if this was a good thing or a bad thing.
When it would come time for Glee, Kurt would walk into the choir room, sit in the back and never address anyone who approached him which happened to be ninety-seven percent of the time. He knew they knew his father had passed away but didn't want to talk about it with them. He didn't want to talk about it with anyone but it didn't stop the New Directions from trying.
"Are you doing ok, Kurt?" he heard Mercedes ask from his left.
No answer.
"You know you can always talk to us…we're all here for you especially now." this was from Rachel on his right.
No answer.
"I'm really sorry about your dad, dude…so is my mom. She really liked him, ya know?" those words could only come from Finn. "She also said you can come stay with us 'cause we're kinda like brothers."
No answer.
This went on for ten more minutes. Kurt could feel every pair of eyes staring at him and he hated how they felt. He hated the sadness, he hated the pity…but he couldn't bring himself to care. He couldn't tell them to go away and leave him alone. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't feel anything. He just sat there in his chair letting his friends talk at him with no intentions of replying.
"Alright everybody, let's get started!" Mr. Schuester's overly enthusiastic voice came into the room and he began to chatter on about this week's assignment making everyone else retreat to their seats.
For once Kurt was thankful for Mr. Shue and his stupid lesson plans.
The next day when Kurt was in his French class, he couldn't respond to anything at all. When he was called on, he didn't look up at his teacher and when she walked up to his desk and asked what was wrong – she knew what happened with his father so the question itself seemed irrelevant – Kurt couldn't do anything but look up at her with red puffy eyes and then back down at his desk before grabbing his possessions and getting up to walk out of class.
He didn't stop by his locker before going out to his car, Kurt just pulled out his keys and brought the engine to life before leaving the high school campus and just drove. The entire time Kurt was behind the wheel, his actions were mechanical and his mind on autopilot. He didn't realize where he was until he finally got out of his car and looked around.
It was the park Kurt's mother used to take him to when he was just a little boy. They didn't go often because it was a two hour drive to Westerville, but when they did, they would always have a picnic underneath the big oak tree using its leaves to block the sun from their eyes. Also on more than one occasion, they would drag Burt along as well to join their picnic and then Kurt would run along to play on the playground while his parents watched from the plaid blanket.
There were never a lot of people there and right now it was completely deserted which is the way Kurt preferred it. This way he could be left to his thoughts without being disturbed, or at least indirectly because he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He took it out and read the text message from Mercedes.
Glee is starting, where are you? I thought I saw you earlier.
Kurt stared at the screen for a long while before responding.
I was but I left. Don't come looking for me I'll be fine. Just let me have this.
And then he sent the message and turned off his phone, looking up in time to see three large figures walking towards him. Kurt immediately made out the red letterman jackets to be McKinley and noticed the boy in the middle was Azimio and the other's just random guys from the football team. It had been a while since Kurt had seen Azimio because he was suspended from school for something Kurt didn't know because he was focusing all his attention on his father.
"Well, well, well, look who we have here," an unsettling smile appeared on Azimio's face. "It's the gay fairy."
Kurt didn't answer him right away. He just stared at them as they got closer.
"I knew there had to be a reason why I wasn't being harassed recently,"
"Don't worry Hummel, I'll be back on Monday, but ya know I might have to make up for lost time seeing as I haven't seen you in a while." Azimio cracked his knuckles as his two henchmen followed suit.
Kurt stared at them for a moment before contemplating his next move. He knew he wasn't going to run, he knew he wasn't going to scream for help. Kurt looked at the ground and then back up at the three guys.
"You know what…go ahead, I'm not going to run. It's pointless." Kurt let out a humorless laugh leaving Azimio slightly confused. "My dad's dead, my mom's dead…I'm basically an orphan now. No one cares about me…I don't have anyone. I'm alone; I don't have anything to live for so you might as well just kill me. I know it's possible between the three of you and this way…everyone wins. You'll get the satisfaction of there being one less gay man in the world and I'll be put out of my misery. So go ahead…I'm all yours."
Azimio stepped forward right into Kurt's face, grabbing his phone out of his hand, throwing it to the ground and stomping on it into a million little pieces.
"I don't need to be told twice."
And then he shoved Kurt into the dirt.
