A/N: I realize that this story will start out a little slowly, but trust me when I say it will soon pick up in pace (and pranks). I do not have a beta, so all errors are my own. Also, thank you to JKR for letting me play.

"...This is, as they say, your party." Harry had no idea what this meant; Dumbledore was being infuriating. He glared at him, then remembered...1

"...I wish to see my parents. And Sirius and Remus. And...Snape," he said out loud, and before Dumbledore's mouth had even fully formed an 'O' of shock, Harry was engulfed in a hug which surely would have squeezed the life out of him had he not already been The-Boy-Who-Maybe-Just-Died.

"Harry! Oh, my darling son…" Harry happily realized he was in the middle of a hug with both his parents. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Remus, Sirius, and Snape watching, each with pensive expressions on their face. He gave a nod to them, and Remus and Sirius joined in the hug, while Snape walked over and patted Harry on the head with a smirk and a wink.

"And YOU!" his godfather rounded on Dumbledore, shaking a finger in his general direction. "How DARE you show up here!" Sirius barked as he stalked over to Dumbledore and started lecturing, poking Dumbledore in between statements.

"You STOLE his childhood," Poke. "You didn't do what his parents wanted you to do!" Poke. "You LEFT HIM with the Dursleys!" Poke. "Much like you left ME in Azkaban!" Poke. "You did NO RESEARCH to remove the Horcrux other than assuming Harry would have to die to get it out and be able to kill Voldemort!" with this last poke, and a gasp from Harry, Dumbledore fell over, his face red, and hung his head.

"This is all true. But what I did I did for – " before he could finish his statement Remus interrupted.

"If you say 'for the greater good,' I'll kick you right in your bollocks! Ten years in Azkaban! All you had to do was demand a trial, demand Sirius be questioned under Verituserum!" Remus looked even scarier than he had in his wolf form, and Harry snuggled in deeper within his parent's arms, which hadn't left him since they showed up.

As Sirius and Remus continued to berate the late Headmaster, his mother and father pulled him aside and started talking to him rapidly.

"Now Harry, you have to know that we are all so very proud of you," his mother started, pulling him down next to her on a bench.

"Even Snape?" he asked, looking up at his former Potion's professor, who had followed them over.

"Me, proud of a Potter? Perish the thought!" Snape drawled, fanning himself with his hand and sighing dramatically.

"Oh, Sev, cut it out, you already sobbed your heart out claiming 'I would do it all over so differently if I could' to us not ten minutes ago!"

Harry looked up sharply, but quickly back at his mother when he recognized the "don't you dare say a word, Potter" look that he had received so many times in the past.

"Harry, when Dumbledore said you could move on, or go back…well, you can go, shall we say…as far back as you wish, really." His father said, while rumpling his hair.

"What do you mean, I could go back to before I died?" Harry asked, confused.

"You could…well, Harry, your father and I feel a bit guilty about you not having any kind of childhood, really. And here you are, actually contemplating NOT going back, just because of how Tuney and her horrid husband raised you…well, we rather thought that maybe, since you already fulfilled the prophecy – "

"Twice. Twice he has fulfilled that stupid prophecy. Oh, if I never heard of it again…" Snape interrupted, looking quite put upon as he examined his fingernails with a look of boredom on his face.

"Yes, well, now that you've done your bit with the Horcruxes – "
"But I didn't kill Voldemort. How can the prophecy be fulfilled, I have to go back and kill him, don't I?" Harry said, looking at Snape when he realized he mentioned the prophecy again, before quickly looking down when he saw the Raised Eyebrow of "Really, Potter, Are You That Dense?" Snape send his way.

"Harry, you never had to KILL Voldemort. No, you had the power to VANQUISH him, which you did. He's mortal now; anyone can kill him! Hell, let Neville do it, kid could use some glory for a change," Sirius interrupted, only to be silenced when Snape pulled his wand and muttered, "silencio, mutt."

"Harry, time…time is a very strange thing, especially for magical folks. Fate, prophecy, we believe in all these things, yet we still have the ability to go back in time…"

"…like the Time Turner Hermione and I used to rescue Sirius from the dementors?"

"Like that, but…Harry, not everyone can claim to willingly sacrificing themselves in order to save the world from a Very Evil Dark Lord. Add that to your mother and fathers sacrifice, well, you're thrice protected from Time and Fate." Remus had joined in, and Harry looked over to Dumbledore only to see that he had his arms and legs tied behind him like a rodeo pig, and a gag in his mouth. He also seemed to have developed two black eyes in the few minutes he had been talking to his parents.

"Honey, I know this is a lot to put on you, but…you can go back further. To when you were a child, before Dumbledore got his sticky, lemon drop-covered fingers on you. To be specific, you can go back to the day you first learned about magic, and actually have a childhood." his mother explained.

His father quickly chimed in, "Oh, and guess what? This time around, no horcruxes to destroy. They're gone. Don't ask me to explain it, because Time and the Fates got very frustrated when I couldn't follow their logic on this one, but if you go back, you'll have such an easier time, you won't have to see so many deaths…"

"…Cedric," Harry whispered, starting to think of the possibilities. "Remus, Sirius…if I go back to before you died, can I stop you from dying?"

"Well, you can stop us from dying how we died if enough things are changed," Remus began, only to be interrupted by Sirius.

"But…if we really are Fated to die, that will still happen. I do have it on good authority that there were quite a few people who were NOT supposed to die so soon, and only did because of one man who couldn't keep his overly large nose out of everyone's business…and for once, I'm NOT talking about Snape."

At this comment, Snape bopped Sirius in the back of the head.

"Potter, as much as I hate to admit it…I was wrong. About you, about just about everything. There is so much good you could do if you go back…"

"…and just think of the pranking opportunities!" Sirius threw in, ignoring a second bop on the head by Snape.

Harry interrupted him. "I'll do it. I'll go further back."

And before he could say goodbye, he was gone.

HPPHPPHPPHPPHPPHPPH

BOOM. The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door.2

Wait, door? he thought, looking around. It worked! I'm back! Hagrid!

Harry sat carefully and watched as Hagrid entered, snickering to himself as Hagrid first called Dudley a great lump, and then his uncle a great prune. This time, he thanked Hagrid for the birthday cake.

When Hagrid explained who he was, Harry decided this time around to have a little more fun.

"Yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, 'course."

"Er – no," he said again, and again apologized when Hagrid looked shocked. He played innocent again, just waiting to hear his uncle say…ah yes, he really DID say "Mimblewimble" when Hagrid started yelling at him. Harry could barely contain his smile and had to force his face into a look of utter confusion.

And even when Hagrid told him he was a wizard, he still decided to play ignorant. "But Hagrid, m-m-m-magic, it's not REAL, you know." He chanced a glance at his Uncle, and saw a slight look of triumph on his face.

"Not - what? Magic, of COURSE magic is real! Oi, what have you lot been doing to Harry?" Hagrid demanded, standing up and stomping over to the Dursleys. "If you think a great muggle like yourself can keep Harry Potter from goin' to Hogwarts, well…"

"We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!"3

"Stamp it out of him?" Hagrid asked, looking furious. "STAMP IT OUT OF HIM?" drawing to his full height, Hagrid was massive, indeed. Harry jumped behind the couch, wondering what would happen this time, with a thoroughly furious Hagrid and his pink umbrella.

With a flick of his umbrella, Vernon's head morphed into that of a donkey. Petunia's neck grew even longer, if possible, giving even more the illusion of an ostrich, while Dudley shrieked as a tail sprouted from his behind.

"Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone, I'm not exactly supposed ter do magic." At Harry's nod, Hagrid sat back down and patted the seat next to him. "Come now, Harry, why don't you read yer letter?" Hagrid said softly, sitting back down and pulling a familiar envelope from his pocket. Harry giggled quietly to himself, wondering how much more powerful Hagrid's magic would be if you combined a working wand with that temper.

Harry quickly read his letter, ignoring the "heehaws!" his uncle was making in the background, and then looked up at Hagrid and asked, "if my parents were magical, then how did they die in a car crash?"

"CAR CRASH!" roared, Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could a car crarsh kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!"4

At Harry's prompting, Hagrid told the same story as last time, even admitting he couldn't spell Voldemort (which was much funnier this time around, though Harry stopped himself from laughing at his first ever friend in the wizarding world) and by the end both Hagrid and Harry were in tears. And when Hagrid admitted that he had brought Harry to the Dursley's on Dumbledore's orders, Harry interrupted him.

"Hagrid, why did Dumbledore want me to be raised by my Aunt and Uncle? They hate freaky stuff, they hate me, and I couldn't even use the word 'magic' in the house without getting a good walloping, or getting locked in my cupboard without food." At this comment Hagrid looked even angrier than before. "Don't you think my mother would have known how much her sister hated magic, and would have left instructions for me to be raised…well, anywhere but with them?"

Hagrid had a contemplative look on his face for a moment, before saying, "Well, I expect Dumbledore has a reason. Great wizard, Dumbledore, best Headmaster Hogwarts has ever had!"

"Yes, but why was the Headmaster of the school in charge of placing me in a home after my parents died? In the, ah – Muggle world, they have Child Services to do that sort of thing. An entire government agency just dedicated to making sure children are in safe and happy homes. Why wasn't that done for me?"

At this, Harry could see, Hagrid was stumped. A look of doubt spread across his face, and didn't leave immediately.

"Well…best be getting to sleep. Wouldn't want t'be trav'lin again out in that weather. Tomorrow we'll go and get yer school things in London."

"London! I've never been to London!" Harry exclaimed, carefully putting a look of delight on his face while at the same time batting his eyelashes.

"Right, err…g'night then."

HPPHPPHPPHPPHPPHPPH

"This is it," said Hagrid, coming to a halt, "the Leaky Cauldron. It's a famous place."5

Harry haltingly followed Hagrid in, keeping his eyes and head down in the hopes he wouldn't be swamped with people yet again, but well…if wishes were Galleons. He fought back his temper as Quirrellmort stammered at him, noticing this time around his scar didn't hurt just from looking at the back of his head. I wonder if I'll still be a Parselmouth?

Hagrid counted the bricks, and even though he had seen it before, Harry was still amazed every time he walked into Diagon Alley – especially after having been on the run for the past year. He blinked away tears and reminded himself that no one save his parents had died for him yet, and that they had wanted him to have a fun and prank-filled childhood this time around. Shaking off the ghosts of battles past, Harry smiled and skipped after Hagrid, looking around him this way and that.

"Hagrid…err, not to be a bother, but I seem to be standing out a bit. Can we ah, maybe, get me some wizard clothes first?"

"Of course, Harry! Just need ter stop at Gringotts first, that's our wizard bank. Need ter get some gold out fer you teh shop with, and I'm on an important errand for Dumbledore." Harry ignored the feeling of dread that crept up his neck as they walked up to the white building.

When they got inside Gringotts and Hagrid handed over Harry's key, Harry turned to the Goblin and immediately started asking all the questions he had thought of, after the fact, so many years ago.

"Oi, all someone needed to get access to my vault was that tiny key? Do you send statements? If you do you better check your process, because until today I didn't even know I had an account at Gringotts! If all someone needs is that key, then anyone could have been getting into my vault all these years and I never would have known! This entire business seems quite dodgy to me." As Harry spoke, the eyes on the Goblin got bigger and bigger while his frown got larger and larger (incidentally, the more a Goblin frowns, the more of their sharp teeth show). 6

During his small speech, having never seen anyone speak to the Goblins in such a way without weapons being drawn, Hagrid was sputtering, "Gah – beh – stop – err – eugh – aaaah," and finally, something that sounded suspiciously like "Mimblewimble."

"Griphook! Hornpipe!" the Goblin shouted. Two more Goblins appeared next to Harry. "Mr. Potter here has some…questions…about the handling of his money. Would you please escort him to your office and…explain things to him?"

Griphook (presumably? Harry never could figure out how to tell them apart) said to Harry, "Right, follow me, Mr. Potter!" and Harry started walking away, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Hagrid was following.

"Mr. Hagrid, Hornpipe will escort you on your business," and Hagrid felt a strong tiny hand pulling him away from the direction Harry was walking, and down a separate hallway towards the carts.

Once seated in front of a desk, Griphook frowned as he opened a desk drawer and pulled a folder a few centimeters thick out. "Now, Mr. Potter, I will assume you did not intent to insult the integrity of all Goblins by making such a fuss, and with that consideration I shall attempt to explain to you why you were never told of your vaults before now in small words so a tiny wizard such as yourself may be able to understand."

"No, I already know Dumbledore did it. I want you to UNdo it. Immediately. I will be keeping track of my own finances, not Dumbledore." Harry replied, crossing his arms over his chest, hoping he looked stern, and not pouty.

Before him, Griphook frowned deeper. He sat back in his chair, staring at Harry, who was starting to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. The Goblins had, he remembered sadly, totally screwed him the last time around.

"As your magical guardian, he will still receive copies of your bank statements and be able to ban you from access to all but your trust vault until you reach the wizard age of majority. He would also have access to your trust fund in order to make withdrawals on your behalf, which he has done on a monthly basis since your parent's death. This we cannot change until you have a new guardian who waives the rights to your fiscal responsibility…or unless you wish to file an Official Complaint and request an Internal Audit." Griphook frowned even deeper.

"And what happens if I do that?" Upon hearing "monthly withdrawals," Harry realized that the Dursley's had probably been receiving money his entire childhood, something he had never – but probably should have - realized. He never knew just how well Dumbledore had sewn him up as a kid.

"Your assets would be frozen except to be used by you for that which they were intended – school supplies – until such time as we were able to determine there had been no wrongdoing on the behalf of your guardian in regards to your account management. There is a fee sliding scale, which determines how…quickly such an audit would be completed. The maximum fee is 200 Galleons, and minimum is two Galleons."

"I see. Well, Mr. Griphook, I will pay whichever fee it takes to freeze Dumbledore out of my account as long as possible (preferably indefinitely). What happens if you determine through this audit that moneys withdrawn for my support were misused?"

Griphook's frown reached a depth that made Harry's spine shiver. "Then appropriate reparations shall be demanded, Mr. Potter. From all parties involved."

"Excellent," Harry said while signing the form Griphook had placed in front of him.

1 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Scholastic.

2 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Scholastic.

3 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Scholastic.

4 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Scholastic.

5 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Scholastic.

6 While it may LOOK like a "smile," and be described as such by those who do not know, when a Goblin stretches the corners of its lips out in any direction, it is actually a frown. They do not smile. Ever.