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Mighty Needs

One Monday morning, the entire Organization arrived in the Castle That Never Was meeting room, Where Nothing Gathers. Sitting on their thrones, Xemnas waited for everyone to take a seat. After everyone (minus Xion, who was in the kitchen making waffles…again) was seated, Xemnas started the meeting. The subject of the meeting was the state of Kingdom Hearts.

While Xemnas was speaking, Vexen felt a bit uncomfortable. The reason being was that he ate an entire plate of spicy nachos, wings and chili.

'Darn it! I should've never eaten the replica's food that late at night!' he thought, looking a bit squeamish.

After almost an hour of Xemnas making his longwinded speech, Vexen raised his hand.

"Yes, Number Four," Xemnas said calmly.

"Lord Xemnas, I have a MIGHTY NEED…to use the restroom," Vexen said, emphasizing the words "mighty" and "need".

"Um…Very well," Xemnas said, not really knowing what to say.

"Thank you," Vexen said and disappeared in a corridor of darkness.


Later, in Xemnas's office…

Roxas, afraid, came in the Superior's office to ask a question. "What is it, number thirteen?" the Superior asked the Nobody.

"Um, has anyone noticed that Vexen's been locked up in the second floor bathroom for two hours," Roxas asked.

Xemnas stopped with his reading and looked quite afraid. Remembering what happened before when the first members were human, Xemnas shuddered, scaring Roxas.


Eleven years before they were Nobodies, Xehanort (Xemnas's original) and the others worked for Ansem the Wise. One day, Xehanort had to go to the restroom. Grabbing his newspaper and heading to the 1st floor bathroom, Xehanort was going to do his usual. Entering the restroom, Xehanort could've sworn he heard a slight whimper in one of the stalls.

'Odd, I thought I was the only one here,' he thought and went into a stall.

While he did his business, he heard from the stall next to him, "Come on! Come out, I say!"

The voice belonged to his colleague, Even.

'Er, okay,' Xehanort thought, wondering what the heck was going on in that stall. He went back to reading in the stall when he saw a bright red light coming from the second stall.

Even then screamed, "THAT IS IT!"

Xehanort immediately finished his business, pulled up his pants and ran out of the stall.

"LEAVE NO EVIDENCE!" Even epically screamed.

The scream was followed by an explosion. The explosion set fire to the restroom and burned off Xehanort's eye brows. Coming out of the stall, Even saw that Xehanort looked like he was scarred for life. The two then never spoke to anyone about what happened that day.


Roxas noticed that Xemnas didn't come out of his flashback (for about an hour) and slowly walked out of the room.

'Man, what happened to make Xemnas scared like that?' Roxas thought as he left.

Xigbar then entered the office and saw that Xemnas looked like he was scarred for life.

"Uh, Xemnas…Dude, you know that Vexen's been in the bathroom for three hours now," he said.

Xemnas said nothing and Xigbar slowly went out of the office.

'Seriously, what happened to him?' Xigbar asked himself.


That night…

All was quiet in the Castle That Never Was as the loudmouths were asleep. Finding it peaceful, Xemnas went to sleep after writing another chapter in his self-authored book, "Nothingness: An Element or Figment of Imagination".

As he slept, he could've sworn he heard an explosion in the distance. "Vexen should be out of the restroom by now," Xemnas mumbled and went to sleep.

When he fell asleep, he had a dream that he was in a castle similar to Castle Oblivion and the Castle That Never Was. He was walked over to a restroom when he heard a seemingly familiar voice yell, "Come out! You accursed, vile thing! Out of me, I say!"

A bright red light came from the restroom and he heard the familiar voice yell, "LEAVE…NO…EVIDENCE!"

The scream was followed by a loud sonic boom…and a cloud of stench. Xehanort was hit by the stench (which smelled like fish, dead bodies and cows) and the door that was blown off of its hinges by the explosion.

"Ow," was all Xehanort could say. The person came out and a name popped into Xehanort's head.

"Eraqus, why?" Xehanort asked, attempting to hold his breath.

"My business…is done!" Eraqus yelled triumphantly.

"Why? Ow," Xehanort meekly said.

"Oh, hello Xehanort," the young man, Eraqus, said, helping the near unconscious Xehanort up.

Xemnas woke up with a start and smelled something odd. He then heard screamed throughout the castle.

"Oh my god! Vexen, what the heck?" he heard Axel scream. The smell that was going through the castle was of something that died.

Xemnas got out of his bed and walked through the halls with a gas mask on. "Seriously, Vexen, what the heck did you eat?" Xemnas heard Xigbar yell.

"If you must know, I ate what Xion made last night," Xemnas heard Vexen say.

"What? A dead body?" Marluxia yelled.

The Superior found the Nobodies in the hall near the second floor restroom. Xemnas looked at Vexen sternly and said, "What did you eat?"

"Oh, well Superior, I ate the nachos, chili and hot wings Xion made for me last night," Vexen told him.

"NEVER EAT IT AGAIN!" Xemnas yelled quite loudly, waking the other Nobodies up. He then turned around and headed back to bed.


Once in bed, he sprayed the whole room with Lysol and fell back to sleep. This time, he had a dream that he was in that same castle from before. He was walking down the hall, heading to a restroom. He opened the door and saw that a bright light came from one of the stalls. A voice that sounded like an older Eraqus came from that same stall and yelled, "THAT'S IT! YOU ACURSED VILE THING…YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED!"

The older man then yelled the same screamed from the previous dream from before. "LEAVE….NO…EVIDENCE!" Eraqus yelled epically.

Another explosion happened and poor Xemnas was caught in the explosion of stench and smoke. The poor guy passed out and an older Eraqus came out of the stall.

"Oh, did you need to use the restroom Te….?" Eraqus said, the dream cutting out in static before the name was mentioned.

"No," Xemnas replied, noticing that his voice sounded quite different.

"What did you eat?" he asked the older man.

"Oh, I ate a plate of tacos Aq….made. I shall never eat them again," older Eraqus said, static appearing when mentioning another name.

Xemnas woke up in a cold sweat and looked around. "It was just a dream. I…think," he said, unsure.

What he was certain of was that he was terrified of Vexen's escapades in the restroom that usually resulted in an explosion. Just before Xemnas attempted to go back to sleep, he heard,

"LEAVE…NO…EVIDENCE!" His room then exploded as Vexen had gone to the restroom near his room.


Well, I guess Xemnas was scarred for life three times. Once as Master Xehanort. Once as Terra and once as regular Xehanort. Ah, I now feel sorry for the poor guy. XD

-miano53