Land of Fantasy and Metal : Part One

LOFAM, otherwise known as the Land of Fantasy and Metal, a place with varying landscapes stretching from shallow rivers and scorching deserts to mountains whose tips disappear into the skies. Floating islands dripping with ancient vines were scattered across the land, varying in size and height with each chunk of earth.

Small villages had been build all across the swaying forests and steep hills, each one independent from the other but all sharing the same goal, to survive and prosper. The inhabitants of these villages were strange beings with large black eyes and lizard-like scales. They walked upright on two feet and always seemed to be building something. Whether it was home improvement or weapon forging, they were never still.

Although as a species they prospered, any attempt to expand their territory was immediately ruined by the land's other inhabitants, specifically, the more metallic residents.

Other than the lizard-humanoids, LOFAM hosted a fair-sized population of dragons and large hawk-like birds. These creatures had no organic organs or tissue, and could survive in almost any conditions. They had no mind or conscious and their only definite purpose was to exterminate anything that got in their way. Still, even though they had never been anything other than machines, sometimes it seemed like they yearned for the love and attention that was so common with LOFAM's other residents.

The other portion of lizard-humanoids, the ones that had been "remodeled" into more... metalline creatures served them as slaves and underlings. In combat they could out-maneuver their still-organic brethren without so much as breaking a metaphorical sweat.

When organic and metallic lizards faced each-other it was always a painful battle. Seeing as the dragons and birds were not particularly skilled in mechanics, they could not disable their captive lizard's emotions, and although they would not be able to control their bodies, they would always be aware of what they were doing. This lead to a continuous habit of Organic's sacrificing themselves in an act of pity.

Caught in a war they could never win, the Organic's hope was slowly fading. Soon the villages seemed just as dreary as the fortress' their enemies protected. Slowly, they too seemed to be turning into the same creatures the feared most. Emotionless, heartless.

That is, until they met their paladin.

Things started in a small, cramped room. The kind of room that looks fairly messy and dysfunctional to the average eye but to it's owner is as organized as a dictionary. Green colored walls framed the room and a nearby lamp lit it up well enough for regular eyes to make out the outlines of scattered items.

Sitting at the room's desk was a girl. A far as appearances went she wasn't anything spectacular, just your average kid with a righteous pair of square glasses and a librarian's hair bun. She wasn't as thin as most girls her age but wasn't considered "large" either. That wasn't a problem for her though as she often described herself by saying things like "why have a bone when you have have the whole chicken?".

Odd sayings and confusing riddles were her forte and over the years she had slowly gained a particularly anti-social attitude. It eventually became quite the little bitch, because in reality, she wasn't as fucking obnoxiously secretive with her personal life or as mysterious and serious as she pretended to be. In the end, playing the part of an anti-social hermit who lives in her room was much easier then learning how to express herself properly.

Moving on from her basic profile, there is another thing about this girl that should be mentioned. That fact being that she was dirt poor as far as entertainment goes. Growing up in a middle-class family with a budget barely big enough to cover the bills never left much cash to buy PS3 games with. In fact, it was by a miracle itself that she even had a PS3. Whenever extra cash did come around in her family's household, it was immediately stowed away for tougher times, and with their luck, those times could pop up at any minute. That isn't to say they lived in some sort of box, in fact she and her family had a fairly nice house. The fact was, they could never take chances as far as finances went.

This is why, when a particularly alluring ad popped into her email box displaying a new game called Sburb, there was simply no choice but to call her friend and beg her to pirate it.

- fictionalEnigma [FE] began pestering ragingInsomniac [RI] at 2:45 -

FE: Hello. I don't mean to be rude, but I need you do to me a favor.

RI: oh my god. I can't kill anyone for you, if that's what your asking.

Ri: but wait

RI: who would you even want to kill?

RI: oh god I don't even know anymore

FE: Calm down.

RI: ok I'm cool

RI: what's the favor, bro?

FE: I need you to pirate a game for me.

FE: One second, I'll send you a link to the email I got.

- fictionalEnigma [FE] sent ragingInsomniac [RI] .

RI: that's a screencap. are you sure this isn't some kind of indian prince trying to sell you some cheapass knock-off? I've never heard of the game before.

FE: I've read through the email several times, and it does seem like a ligitimate sale.

RI: so you want me to pirate a copy of a game that's not even out yet, be the biggest fuckin' sucker the worlds ever seen, and then just be like "lolz, here ya go bud"?

FE: It is a mulitplayer game. Considering I could set it up right, we could try it out together.

FE: Enfisis on together.

RI: wait

FE: Together.

RI: what if I just buy a copy and we split it? from what i can tell there are two disks, the sever one and the client one. considering your shit with computers, i could be the sever player.

FE: That does seem like an appropriate plan, and maybe I could refer these online salesmen towards you, but do you have the money?

RI: you forget that i am the child of a weathly business man. my father makes a hefty wad of cash from that walmart job of his. nah, jk. i've got some cash stocked up, enough to cover that.

FE: Excellent.

RI: oh and on another note, your doing a good job with that "lololololol i'mma almost harvard stoodent" talk. very professional sounding. still don't get the point of that, but whatever.

FE: It's important to me.

RI: well, if you ever need to talk about it, let me know okay? that's what BFFs 5EVER is all about.

RI: btw, still don't understand the 5ever thing.

FE: It's... just a thing.

FE: And no, I don't need to talk about it.

FE: Thanks for asking.

RI: somehow i'm feeling like that wasn't very sincere...

RI: but whatever. we're kewl anyway.

RI: cool as ice cream.

RI: ice cream as cold as the frozen tsundra.

RI: so cold that if someone touched us, they'd get frostbite.

RI: they'd lose fingers.

RI: that's how cool we are.

FE: You're... very interesting, y'know?

RI: oh my god you used slang

RI: let this day be known as the day Errol let down her perfect words

RI: and used

RI: slang

FE: Never again.

Ov er the course of the next two weeks both kids waited for their copy of Sburb to be shipped. When the disks arrived it took an extra few days for RI successfully pirate another copy and send it to Errol, and finally, they were ready to start the game. Thankfully, both their families were out of the house when they begun.

Once everything had been installed the chaos begun. Suddenly having your not-so-bright friend in charge of everything around you turned out to be quite the stressful experience, not to mention having to walk her through all the different machines that were apparenty needed to progress. Thankfully, there were several walkthroughs available. None of them were complete however, but there was enough information to progress.

Even through the chaos things had been running relatively smoothly, that is, until the totally random meteors started raining down from the sky, causing Errol to have a slight mental breakdown while questioning everything she knew about science and Earthly probabilities. Thankfully for her future charges, the trauma was short-lived once she was informed about RI having the same problem. Somehow, knowing she wasn't the only one who was dong to die was comforting.

Surprisingly early on, RI dropped a Cruxtruder down in Errol's living room and gave some "brief" instructions on what to do. Approximately 30 minutes later, Errol successfully made a Kernelsprite. At that point though, it hadn't been prototyped and was just a useless ball of light. While going back to her room to find something suitable to prototype it with, a particularly large meteor landed nearby and knocked everything over. In the process, Errol's laptop (which she had named Zeke for stupid comedic reasons) had fallen off her desk and into the Kernelsprite, thus creating Zekesprite, probably the most annoying and buggy creature known to man-kind.

Towards the last ten minutes of Earth's life, Errol found her Cruxite Artifact, a Cruxite version of her PS3. While Errol and RI had a short debate on whether or not to break it, the countdown on her Alchemiter hit 1:00, therefor ending the conversation. Errol broke the Cruxite PS3 and was teleported (along with her house!) into the Medium.

The second the house hit the ground Errol was back up again, scrambling towards Zekesprite and furiously slamming the keys on his keyboard. She didn't even take the time to look outside her window before rushing onto Pesterchum and reconnecting with RI.

- fictionalEnigma [FE] began pestering ragingInsomniac [RI] at ?:? -

FE: Are you okay?

RI: oh that was fast

RI: yeah I'm fine, but what about you? how're things over there?

FE: My well being is irrevelant, we need to get you into the Incipisphere, or whatever it's called.

FE: What are you doing?

RI: I'm headinurhtg ut4hghpo

FE: What?

RI: oh fucking dammit i just fell down my stairs

FE: Are you okay/

FE: *?

RI: yeah just gimme a sec

RI: okay so I do the same stuff you did right?

FE: Yes. You sent me the program I need to help you, so just give me a second to drop some machines down.

She closed the window and quickly pulled up the Sburb sever controls, quickly scrolling through the different machines then selected the few important ones. Once the machines were selected she opened up the viewport and a visual of RI's location popped up. She was currently sitting at the bottom of a stairwell fiddling with her hat and tucking some hairs back in place under it.

RI was a skinny girl that could probably be snapped in half by a single punch. She had a lanky body and short choppy black that was usually hidden under a grey beanie along with light blue eyes.

After a minute or two of "observing" Errol snapped back into action and began setting the equipment down around the house. Once all the esentials were set she opened up the Pesterchum window again.

FE: Alright, now do everything you told me to do. -And hurry, it looks like you've only got about ten minutes.

RI: kk brb then.

RI: oh but real' quick, what should I prototype the kernalsprite with?

FE: Oh, well, something useful. Try finding something that seems sensible. In other words, try not to throw your toaster at it by acident, okay?

RI: I'm not that stupid, but okay. uh, so what about that- oh wait a second, someone else is pestering me

FE: NO

RI: ..what?

FE: Your life is on the line right now, finish setting yourself up then answer them. I'm sure it was medeocre anyways.

RI: rude.

FE: I care about your well being, you should too.

RI: yEah okay you have a point. kk I'll get started right now.