Summary: In the back of my mind, I feel like Faolin is still here. But he's not, and I know I need to move on and learn to love Eragon. He deserves that. E/A

The sun shines brightly outside, but here in the shade of the trees in Du Weldenvarden, I can't feel it's full effects. My mind is flashing back and forth; the events it recalls are almost enough to tear me apart, but I keep my mask of haughty indifference to the world. If he found these writings, he would know of my ponderings. But when he does, I will be gone, I am sure of it.

Faolin, I love him. Or at least I loved him once. I cannot fathom the difference between the two except for their tenses. But for me, they are one in the same. I have no doubt that Faolin and I were soulmates, and yet, I bannish thoughts such as these regularly. Why should I dwell on him when I cannot be with him? He is lost to me. But Eragon, Eragon is not.

Do I love Eragon? I find myself reflecting back on when Eragon asked me a similar question of Faolin.

"Did you love Faolin?" he had asked, and I couldn't answer. Perhaps I did, perhaps I still do. It is of no consequence, and I will attempt to put it from my mind.

In short, my feelings are just difficult to express, even to myself. In the back of my mind, I feel like Faolin is still here. But he's not, and I know I need to move on and learn to love Eragon. He deserves that. And so this is why I told him of my love for him.

What better mate is there for me than someone who has saved Alagaésia from certain destruction, someone who has kept his steadfast love for me the whole time? And Saphira is the most marvelous dragon in the world, for it is she who is bound for life with Eragon. He is such a mighty warrior and the most loyal of the elf friends.

"Arya drotningu, why have you come here tonight?" he had asked, standing at the door to what once were Vrael's rooms. He looked so stunningly masculine with Brisingr, the mighty sword, at his hip.

"Eragon, there is something I must tell you," I had said. My gaze was firm, my resolve clear in my mind. I leaned forward and placed my hands on his shoulders.

"Arya?" The question and fear was clear in his voice. This man, the same one who had strode into Uru'Baen with no fear, was then afraid. I remember seeing it clearly in his eyes. And deep down, I could sense a wild hope that he fought to keep hidden. After all the times I had rejected him in the past, he had not wanted to hope. And now he was trying to fight it off yet again.

But when my lips touched his, I felt an immediate change in him. Winding his arms around me, he had held me close to him as we kissed. Saphira, wisely, kept her peace and did not disturb us. But I could sense a faint amusement from her when I next contacted her the following day. She gave her approval, and I was glad.

I really do love Eragon. He isn't perfect, and this is not a surprising fact to me. I still think of Faolin often, though being surrounded by admiring members of any of the powerful races keeps thoughts of him from my mind on most days. But it is when I am alone at the end of a long day, when Eragon has gone out and I have naught but my poetry for company, that I am free to think of him and mourn what could have been had Durza and his enslaved Urgals not stolen his life from him.

It is not the elvish custom to marry, but those who matter have been informed of mine and Eragon Shadeslayer's mating. Roran and Katrina sent their congratulations from the royal castle, where Roran is now the King of Alagaésia. Islanzadi has given us her blessing, and I often picture Oromis Elda, with his silver hair and knowing eyes, turning his lips up into a gentle smile, compassion for the two of us showing in his gaze. Glaedr would have offered his own cynical amusement as well, and Eragon has already told Glaedr of the news through his Eldunari. Saphira and Eragon are training now, preparing the new Rider for success in the future. And I am soon to leave for Surda, where I will continue my duties as elvish ambassador.

When Eragon returns, we will go off together and travel the world, learning what we may. He and I will visit Orik in the tunnels of Farthen Dúr. Then, we will return here to the city of Elesmera, holding each other as we drift into our waking dreams. I love him, and that is enough for now.