"This has been the worst day of my entire life", I declare as I take a swig from the bottle of whatever kind of alcohol my best friend is providing me with. We are sitting in the bed of his pickup truck, which is parked in an abandoned lot under an overpass.
Connor laughs. "What about that time that you broke your leg falling off the balance beam at gymnastics?" I hand him the bottle, and he takes a small sip before handing it back to me. I roll my eyes.
"I was seven! And besides, I'd take a broken leg over broken heart any day." I chug the tequila for a few seconds before Connor grabs it from my hands. "Hey!"
"Don't do this to yourself." Connor puts the cap on the bottle and returns it to his backpack. I stay silent, replaying today's events in my head.
Lily and I had been secretly fucking for about two months now. We are lab partners in chemistry, and that's not the only kind of chemistry I thought we had together. I hated keeping our relationship a secret at school. I wanted to sit with her at lunch, and kiss her by her locker. But every time I'd try to bring this up while we were naked in her bed, safe behind her locked door, she'd become distant and ask me to leave. I was supposed to spend the night with Lily tonight. I had been excited. I felt like last time went differently, in a good way. I don't know what I was thinking. Today at lunch I saw her sitting outside with her friends and I suddenly got the urge to tell her I was excited for tonight right then. I ignored her friends and slid into the bench next to her until our hips were touching. I took her hand and whispered in her ear how excited I was. She looked at her friends before turning to me. There was a malice in Lily's eyes that I had not seen before. Before I could react she stood up and pushed me off the bench. I looked up at her in shock.
"What the hell is your problem, dyke?" Lily glared down at me and I flinched. I heard her friends laughing behind me. "Who do you think you are?"
I scrambled to my feet, feeling nothing but anger. I took a step back and bumped into one of Lily's friends, who grabbed my shoulders. I then turned around and punched her. I think her name was Sasha.
"You bitch!" Sasha yelled, stumbling back. The girl next to her grabbed my arms then, spinning me to face Lily. I looked at the girl I thought I had feelings for. Her long blonde hair was shining in the afternoon sun. I tried not to think about how it smelled.
"Why are you doing this?" I grimaced as Lily stepped closer to me.
"I owe you nothing", Lily whispered in my ear before kneeing my in the gut. I groaned and fell to my knees. Amid the laughter from Lily and her friends I heard yelling. I looked up to see Connor running towards me. He pushed Lily out of the way before helping me to my feet.
"Come on. Let's get you out of here before Principal Martin sees this." Connor said rolling his eyes, used to my anger issues. Lily stopped us before we can leave.
"I'm going to report you for sexual assault." Lily said smugly as Sasha and the girl that held my arms moved behind her. "And I'll make sure your mom is the detective who arrests you." Connor pulled me away before I could attack her. We ran to his car and drove away.
I snap out of the flashback when I feel Connors hand on my leg. "You okay?" He asks. Before I can respond my phone rings. I look at the glowing screen.
"Shit." I mutter, sitting straight up. Connor looks at me, concerned.
"Is it Beth?" He whispers. I nod. "Let me answer. You're in no place to talk to her." He holds out his hand. I pull the phone away from him.
"No way." I shake my head. "It'll be more suspicious if you answer." I press talk and hold the phone to my ear.
"Maxine?" I hear my moms impatient voice immediately.
"Hello motheerrrr." I slur. Connor hits me on the back of my head. I swat him away.
"Is everything alright?" My mom masks her suspicion with concern. I clear my throat.
"Yeah. Yeah, sorry. What's up?" I'm used to her constant phone calls. Apparently she doesn't trust me if she can't see me.
"I just want to confirm that you're still spending the night at your friends house." I cough, suddenly feeling queasy. My mom didn't know the extent of my relationship with Lily, but it still feels like she's rubbing it in. I look up at Connor who's glaring at me.
"Don't you dare throw up on my truck." He mouths, noticing my state of intoxication and heartbreak.
"Sure, yeah. I'm at her house right now." I lie quickly. "I gotta go, Mom." I hang up the phone and lean over the side of the truck bed, vomiting onto the concrete.
"Jesus Christ, Max." Connor moves closer and holds my hair. I sit up.
"I'm fine." I mutter, wiping my mouth. "Got any weed?" Connor looks at me incredulously.
"Max, I really don't think–"
"Connor, please." I interrupt him. "I just want to forget about everything. Connor sighs heavily.
"You're lucking I'm feeling generous today." He pulls out a Ziplock bag from his backpack and removes an already rolled joint. I grin.
"I love you." I say, taking the joint from him while feeling my jacket pockets for my lighter. Connor takes the lighter from me, lighting the joint as I hold it to my lips. I inhale happily and blow smoke into his face. I offer the joint to him and he rolls his eyes, shaking his head.
"I'm the designator driver, remember?" I laugh, coughing as I take another hit. I settle down in the truck bed, with my head on Connor's lap.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I wake up it's dark outside. The effects of the tequila hasn't worn off, and the weed was pretty strong, so I'm still in a good mood. Connor is snoring softly beside me. I check my phone and see that it's 9pm. I decide it's time to go home. I kick Connors legs until he moves.
"Hey, can you drive me home?" I ask, gathering my stuff. Connor sits up.
"Are you sure? Your mom will freak if she sees you like this." Connor jumps down from the back of the truck and helps me down.
"I don't care." I open the passenger door and jump in the car. "She's probably out with Paul anyway." Connor gets into the truck and turns it on, pulling onto the road. Connor has always been good at reading me, so he knows to stay quiet on the ride back to my apartment building. He parks about two blocks away from the building. He's always been freaked out by Mom being a detective, and I don't blame him. I would be banned from seeing Connor if Mom knew anything about him.
"Thanks." I manage a smile as I unbuckle the seatbelt. Connor nods.
"Anytime, Max. You know that. And hey, tell Paul to fuck off for me." I laugh. I constantly rant to Connor about Paul, Mom's nosy boyfriend. He always asks weird questions about my childhood and about Mom. Connor's never met him, but he agrees that there's something weird going on with that guy.
"Gladly." I respond before slamming the door, watching Connor speed away. I sway slightly as I turn on the sidewalk, heading home. I spend the next few minutes stumbling into the building, into the elevator, and down the hall to my apartment. I start to feel nauseous again, so I put my hand on the wall to steady myself. As I feel around in my bag for my key I hear voices. I guess Mom and Paul are home. I was hoping to avoid this, but I hear my bed calling me, so I push away my nerves and unlock the door, pushing it open. The lamps in the living room area are on, but otherwise the apartment is dark. I go to the kitchen and dump my bag on the marble counter. I hear Paul and Mom behind me.
"Maxine!" Mom says in obvious shock. "You–you're home!" I sigh, preparing for a lecture about lying and being super crossed, as I've given up pretending to be sober. I begin to turn around.
"Always happy to see your daugh–." I freeze midsentence as I take in the people in front of me. Mom is closest to me, her arms slightly outstretched as if she's unconsciously trying to hide something. Behind her are two women. Two women who look exactly like her. I shake my head and laugh softly. I know I'm fucked up, but I didn't think I was at the hallucination level. It's a weird hallucination though. It's not seeing triple. The three women have the same faces, but everything else is different. There's Mom, in her messy bun and button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. The one on her left has dreads and glasses magnifying heavy eyeliner. Her clothes look like she only shops at thrift stores. Serious hippie. The one on the right is dressed like a suburban bitch, with bangs that say 'permanent mid-life crisis'. I suddenly realize the soccer mom is pointing a gun at me.
"Who the hell are you?!" She yell-whispers, moving closer so she's next to Mom. I hold my arms up, too shocked and high to process anything.
"Alison! Alison, stop." Mom steps in front of me facing the other ones. She pushes the gun down. I put my hand on her back softly.
"Mom… Mom, what the fuck is going on?" I hear my voice tremble.
"Language, Maxine." Mom glances at me disapprovingly before turning back to the others. I choke out a laugh.
"We're looking at two people who look exactly like you, and you're chastising me on my language?" Before Mom can answer, the preppy one she called Alison speaks up again. She doesn't aim her gun, but it flails around with her hands.
"Who is this, Beth? Why is there an intoxicated teenager in your apartment?" Alison glares at me with disdain. Mom turns to me suddenly, grabbing my jacket and inhaling.
"Weed? Really, Maxine?" Mom shakes her head as I pull away from her. I don't understand why she is ignoring these women in our home.
"Mom, what is happening?" I ask again, flinching as Mom pushes me against the counter in frustration.
"And alcohol, by the smell of your breath." I feel my cheeks redden. I don't know why I feel embarrassed. It must be because there are three of Mom in front of me. That thought sparks something in me.
"Stop!" I practically yell. Mom looks at me in shock, and Alison steps back cautiously. "Mom, who are these women? Why do they look exactly like you?" I suddenly feel the effects of everything in my body, and I collapse. I lay on the hard floor, barely conscious. I open my eyes and see Mom and the version of mom with dreadlocks looking over me with worry. "What the fuck is going on?" I whisper before I feel my body get sucked into a black hole.
When I regain consciousness, I am laying on the couch. I can hear angry whispering. I open my eyes slowly, but light stabs into my brain so I close them again. I strain my ears to hear the conversation in the kitchen.
"I can't believe you didn't tell us about her. You know about my children. You know about my whole life and I know nothing about you, apparently!" That shrill voice must belong to Alison.
"Alison, calm down. Beth was just trying to protect her. You understand that." The hippie must be the voice of reason in this trio. "Besides, it's not like she's a part of this or anything. What difference does it make that she has a daughter?" I frown slightly. Maybe these women are in makeup to look like Mom and this is an undercover mission of hers. That's what was meant by protecting me.
"Actually," I hear Mom say, "she kind of is a part of this."
"What do you mean?" Hippie asks.
"Well, you know how Alison had such a hard time having kids? We assumed it was a genetic thing and none of us can conceive."
"Yes, you don't need to remind us, Beth." Alison snaps. Her voice makes me want to stab myself in the eye.
"Well, Maxine is my biological daughter." I hear audible gasps from both Alison and Hippie.
"That's impossible." Hippie says.
"Yes, Cosima did tests." Cosima must be the hippie. She has that lab nerd air about her.
"I mean, I tested you and me. I figured that was enough. I didn't think I needed to test Beth too." Cosima says. It sounds like she's pacing.
"Now you know why I didn't tell you." Mom is getting defensive. "You would've turned her into a lab rat." The thought of me in a lab with needles stuck in my skin freaks me out. I cough, suddenly aware of how dry my throat is. The conversation in the kitchen stops. Shit. I keep my eyes closed as I hear footsteps coming closer I feel a hand on my arm.
"Hey, Baby." Mom whispers, stroking my arm. I open my eyes, scrambling into the corner of the couch. "Maxine, it's alright."
"Stay away from me." I mumble, looking up as Alison and Cosima approach.
"Maxine, there's no reason to be scared. It's me." I shake my head when Mom tries to run her fingers through my hair.
"Yeah? And who are they?" I point my chin at the others. Mom sighs.
"We have a lot to tell you, Maxine." Mom gestures to them, and Cosima sits down across from the couch. Alison stays standing.
"What, we're just going to tell her everything?" She glares at me. I already dislike her.
"Alison, please. I believe this is the best option." Cosima says, patting the chair next to her. Alison sighs and sits down.
"We're going to tell her everything we know." Mom says, sitting on the couch next to me and taking my hand, her grip soft enough to be reassuring and strong enough to let me know that I don't have a choice of whether or not to hear this. "Starting with your history, Alison."
