Title : Reishin's Painting
Disclaimer : I do not own Saiunkoku Monogatari. It belongs to Sai Yukino.
Rating : M
Genre : Hurt/Comfort/Family
Pairing : Reishin x Kijin
Warning : Yaoi (M/M)
Summary : Kijin finds Reishin's painting of Shoka.
Notes : This is a SEQUEL to Brother Shoka, and you would really need to read that first in order to understand what's going on here.
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Shoka wasn't sure what he should do. Kijin was just standing in the middle of the room, not moving, not saying anything. Shoka sat down and waited.
Kijin walked to where Shoka was, took something from his sleeve and placed it on the table in front of Shoka.
Shoka's head spun. He felt ill.
Beside him, Kijin was trembling.
Shoka watched Kijin closely as he told Kijin about the painting. Finally, Kijin spoke.
"Reishin and I have this ... game.
I would run my fingers over the scars on his back, and he would tell me the story behind the particular scar I was touching.
The time he broke the family heirloom.
The time he didn't complete his essay.
The time he ate his younger brother's share of peaches.
But whenever my fingers paused over the four deepest scars, Reishin would stiffen and say nothing."
Kijin paused.
"The time he painted his elder brother in the nude."
Kijin laughed softly to himself.
"Lord Shoka, what you said to Reishin at that time, did you believe it yourself? Or was it just more convenient to pretend?"
Shoka knew he couldn't insult Kijin by lying.
"I wasn't sure, but I wanted to believe it."
Kijin nodded. He sighed.
"I've always thought that Reishin's reaction to seeing you was rather excessive, even for an older brother who's adored and respected. How flustered he would become, how he would blush, and trip over himself to please you."
"Secretary Ko, what are you going to do now?"
Kijin turned to face Shoka.
"Do you reciprocate his feelings?"
Shoka started.
"No."
"I guess it's pointless for me to hand him to you on a silver platter, then."
"What do you mean, Secretary Ko?"
"Your wife has died. Reishin can move in with you, and no one needs to know why."
Shoka paled. It took a while before he was able to speak.
"Secretary Ko, are you breaking up with Reishin?"
Kijin shook his head.
"Like I said, it's pointless, since you don't feel the same way."
Behind the mask, Kijin smiled wryly.
"I'll keep Reishin then, Lord Shoka."
Kijin picked up the painting and kept it in his sleeve.
"Secretary Ko, does Reishin know?"
"He doesn't need to know."
Kijin nodded at Shoka and left.
Shoka watched as Reishin paced up and down in front of the bookcases of the Archives.
Reishin stopped pacing.
"There's definitely something wrong with Kijin. Last night, he THANKED me after he came!"
Reishin blushed.
"And ... and ... when I touched him again, he stopped me and said, 'It's alright, Dumpling'. How can it be alright? Once is NEVER enough for Kijin!"
Reishin paused for breath, and caught Shoka's expression.
"Brother Shoka?"
"Reishin, why did you keep that painting?"
Comprehension slowly dawned in Reishin's eyes. He sank to the floor.
Kijin sat at his desk, irritated.
His sweat was steaming up the insides of his mask. The strings of the mask were chaffing against the skin above his ears. His starched high collar was suffocating. His silk pants were sticking to his thighs, the folds at the crotch cutting into his flesh. Kijin wanted to scream out loud. He fidgeted in his chair, trying to ease himself into a more comfortable position.
"Houju..."
"What is it?"
Kijin snarled at Assistant Secretary Kei.
ARRGH! STOP calling me by that name! How many times must I tell you not to do so?
Assistant Kei, taken aback, forgot what he was about to say. He retreated hurriedly.
Kijin heard the sound of footsteps entering his office. He spat out without turning around,
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"You."
Soft, gentle, almost a whisper.
Reishin!
Kijin felt cool fingers massaging his temples. He shuddered. The hands untied the strings, and removed the mask.
Reishin surveyed Kijin's sweat-drenched face and heaving chest. He smiled knowingly. Kijin was in no state to listen straight. Talk would have to wait.
"Idiot."
Reishin drummed his fingers lightly on Kijin's bulge.
"I knew it. Once is never enough."
Reishin spread Kijin's knees apart and knelt between them.
Kijin arched his back, pressing his shoulders into the high-backed chair. He bucked against Reishin's face. He bellowed. He collapsed. He wept.
Reishin pulled himself up Kijin's body and straddled his lap. He nuzzled Kijin's face and kissed away the tears. Still keeping his face against Kijin's, Reishin shrugged off his outer court robes and inner white shirt, letting them hang around his waist.
Reishin reached for Kijin's hands and placed them on his own back, guiding them to the first of the deepest scars.
"At fourteen, I WAS in love with Brother Shoka. But I outgrew it."
Reishin shifted Kijin's hands down to the second deep scar.
"I kept the painting not because I'm unable to let go of that love, but because the painting represented Brother Shoka's unconditional love for me."
Reishin pulled Kijin's hands lower, and spread them over the third deep scar.
"I kept the painting, and the story behind it, from you because I was too ashamed, and I was afraid of what you would think of me."
Reishin moved Kijin's hands to cover the last of the deep scars. He spoke into Kijin's ear. His voice quivered.
"I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I'm sorry I hurt you."
Kijin, his hands still on Reishin's scars, drew Reishin closer.
"It's alright, Dumpling."
The End
