Chapter 1

Frisk woke up up in the middle of the night to the sound of Asgore crying in the middle of sex with Toriel. They went to Asriel's bed for comfort, but he was not present. Asriel was never home anymore, especially in the middle of the night. Asriel was like a vampire who never slept; he snuck out in the middle of the night and went to suck blood, only sucking blood meant he was probably doing drugs. Frisk didn't know what drugs were, because they were a kid, so they went back to bed.

The next morning, Frisk got out of bed and walked to Toriel and Asgore's bedroom. They found Asgore masturbating furiously while sniffing Toriel's lacy purple panties. They lock eyes for a moment before Asgore freaked out, Frisk scampering out of the room like a little idiot.

Asriel climbed in through the window. He was out all night getting high with some of his emo friends, like an emo stoner. Frisk ran back into the room and smelled the weed on his jacket. Asriel knew Frisk smelled that sweet dank and pinned them to the wall. "You're not gonna tell ANYONE about this, ok fuckhead?" He held a plastic knife to Frisk's neck. Frisk knew it was plastic, and Asriel was a fake ass edgy little bitch, but they went along with it and nodded. Anything to make Asriel believe he was as edgy as he advertised himself to be.

Frisk went downstairs into the kitchen. Instead of the breakfast they were expecting, there was instead a note that read "Frisk honey, there's breakfast in the refrigerator. Make yourself useful, unlike some pathetic stupid ass goat who is mediocre in bed. I've had sex with snails faster than him. Also, take out the trash. And I don't mean the trash in the kitchen. I'm talking about the trash who happens to be the hellspawn from mine and Asgore's loins. - Love, Mama Tori." Frisk thought about what a bad night goat mom had.

They opened the fridge to find only plates of spaghetti. It seems that the Pastability Man has struck again. (Pastability Man is really Papyrus in a cape and a thong). Papyrus always performed B&E's, and he broke into their house in the middle of the night to deliver spaghetti. They didn't ask for spaghetti, ever, but Papyrus was "special" so they left their window unlocked. Sans didn't give a fuck about what Papyrus did, as long as he didn't get arrested. Frisk tried to take a plate of spaghetti out, but it was stuck on the rack. Kinda like how Asgore's jizz is stuck to Toriel's rack (hurr hurr yeah).

Asriel came downstairs in a very moody way, back slouched and arms draping like a fucking emo. Frisk showed him the note, he skimmed it curled it up and threw it at Frisk's head and said,

"Frisk you stupid FUCK," Asriel shouted at Frisk. "You're supposed to CATCH IT. If you stopped squinting your eyes like a stupid fucker, you'd be able to see it. FUCK." Asriel liked the F-word. He said the F-word almost a hundred times a day. Frisk knew. They counted each time it was said. Frisk didn't know how to count, since they were just a little kid, but a hundred seemed like a lot, so they just went with that.

Frisk didn't listen to Asriel. Instead, Frisk picked up the note and read it. However, Frisk didn't know how to read. Even though Frisk was still in high school, Frisk didn't know how to read. Frisk was somewhat illiterate, and could only read at a kindergarten level.

Frisk responded by picking up the trash and throwing it in the garbage behind Asriel, who is also considered garbage. It missed. Asriel gave a heavy sigh and "aghhhh" because that's what goth kids do and picked up a plate of spaghetti. He took the spaghetti to the table and ended up dumping sprinkles and chocolate and crushed oreos onto it.

"Man, I'm too edgy for this shit," Asriel said, as Asriel looked down shamefully at the spaghetti. "I'm gonna write a song about how edgy and miserable I am. I'm going to write it on my very expensive Mac computer that I got for Christmas, but money is no variable in my edginess." Asriel took the plate to his room, frowning the whole way. Frisk stood in the kitchen and watched Asriel go to his room. He heard Asriel slam a door, and it was followed with loud emo screamo music. Asriel liked to listen to loud music to show off how much of a fake Hot Topic rebel he was. Frisk didn't understand, because Frisk would "NEVER UNDERSTAND ME, GOD DAMN IT" as Asriel puts it.

Asgore came down the stairs while looking at his hands. Despite the night he had, he just couldn't wash away the shame even with Woshua in the bathroom with him. He saw Frisk and the two once again locked eyes. Frisk doesn't know it, but Asgore's state is one of many dads have when they're old and soggy; the state of desperation. He didn't even get to weirdly say "howdy" before a porn magazine (monster special edition with Knight Knight strap-on galore) fell out of the sleeve of his oversized onesie. He scrambled to pick it up, but fell over instead. Frisk laughed, not understanding the shamefulness of the situation.

Asgore blushed wildly before he got up, the magazine in his hand. Asgore looked at Frisk, who is still laughing and cries out, "Stop laughing at me!" Of course, this made Frisk laugh harder. Asgore's face is now red, and it can be seen under his beard. He had the urge to roll up the porno mag and spank Frisk with it, but… this wasn't his ass-spanking magazine. This was a different kind of spanking magazine, not meant to whoop kids' asses with. Instead he rolled up the magazine and put it back in his sleeve before frowning at Frisk. "Do not laugh at me, young child," Asgore demanded. "I'll have you know, that… uh… teletubbies is cancelled. For a month on Netflix." Frisk loves Teletubbies, and shouted "Aw shit!" Frisk did not know what "shit" meant, and only heard the word spoken through Asriel's exasperated voice. However, when "shit" left his mouth, Asgore's jaw dropped, his mouth looking like Steven Tyler's mouth, only bigger and hairier. Frisk didn't know who Steven Tyler was, but he heard that he was a monster who lived on the surface who had a big mouth and screamed a lot. People paid to hear him scream. Frisk thought that was weird.

"That does it!" Asgore ran as fast as a goat dad can (which isn't very fast and more or less sloppy with a lot more stumbles then steps) up stairs to get his ass-spanking magazine. Someone was gonna get an ass whoopin. Frisk may not understand a lot of things, but they knew what this meant. They remembered a time when Asriel brought home a really nice monster who smelled funny and had given them this floppy, long balloon ready to be blown into. Asgore had that same quote on quote "run" and came back with that magazine. Frisk remembered the screaming but not as much as they remembered the word "shit" which was what got Asgore fired up in the first place.

Frisk ran as fast as he could, Asgore chasing him while waving the rolled up magazine around in his hand. Frisk hollered, both of them running around the house like maniacs. Asgore huffed and puffed and kept running, his meaty legs trying to carry him. Asgore took big steps while running, even though Frisk was smaller and faster, so their speed was the same. Soon, Frisk had ran all the way to the door, grabbed their backpack and ran outside, leaving a very tired and exhausted Asgore in the house, bending over with his head down, catching his breath. His breathing was loud and annoying. Much so to the point where Asriel opened his bedroom door and shouted, "STOP BREATHING, I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO SONGS ABOUT HOW BLACK MY SOUL IS. CAN YOU LIKE NOT EXIST FOR ONCE, PLEASE THANKS." he slammed the door. Asgore sighed. Another day, another getting owned by two annoying fucking kids.

But someone had to get whipped, Asgore didn't run around the house for nothing. He thought about the living garbage bag upstairs, but he didn't do anything wrong yet (or at least too emo and shitty). Then he thought about how Woshua didn't wash his hands properly. He decided that the water-type Bulbasaur needs a good ass-whoopin and teach him how to wash hands. Asgore loves given a good ass-whoopin, if he could make it one of his many hobbies, he would. But he couldn't, Tori's non-reaction burned in his mind. No matter how hard he smacked her white goat ass he just couldn't get that "AHH, YES MORE" reaction he wanted. Her ass was always numb from sitting in that hard teacher chair all day. She had a lot more cellulite than usual, and her underwear stretched to great lengths because her ass was so big and fat and fluffy.

Asgore, with a predator like walk, walked upstairs to the bathroom, where he saw Woshua vibrating furiously. Someone had stuffed dirty clothes into his bathtub body and set him on spin cycle. His pupils jangled around inside of his eyeballs furiously, suds pouring from his body. He saw Asgore and didn't give a reaction, since he was too busy cleaning all these clothes that someone had jammed into his body. The clothes were mostly black, so they must be Asriel's clothes. But Asriel doesn't do his own laundry, so Toriel must have put his clothes inside of Woshua to get them clean. Asriel cried a lot, and wore a lot of mascara, so the combination caused him to stain his already black clothes. Toriel didn't give a fuck, and didn't want to argue with her shitty failed abortion, so she just jammed as many of his angst-stained garments into Woshua that morning before she went to work, completely forgetting to drive Frisk to school.

Asgore put down the magazine, he didn't want to smack something that didn't give a damn about his existence like the two goats he knew. He gently stopped Woshua's cycle and started to empty out the clothing all while thinking about what kind of screams this little creature will make, probably something involving dust bubbles, that would be nice. With all the clothing out of the little guy, Asgore picked up his ass-smacking magazine. The need to feel dominant was coursing through his veins there was a shine in his eye that he only got one other time when Tori was still half a virgin. Woshua looked at the big goat man first business like, but then he got scared. Unlike Frisk, Woshua knew what this look ment and prepared his ass-cheeks. It was gonna be a long day.