The clock is ticking down and I wanted to get one more story in before Halloween was over! I wrote this for laughs, I know SpideyPool meets fast and the furious is silly, like I said its for fun. I own neither marvel or fast and furious, nor any characters. I don't have a beta, mistakes are on me, sorry. Hope you like it. WADE/PETER BRIAN/DOM Don't like don't read! Happy Halloween!
"Alright, so it's time to decide who the lucky people are that are working tomorrow night," Tanner called out through the bullpen causing everyone to groan. "Who was off last year, did anyone check?"
"O'Conner, Williams, Bradley, and Lyons sir," someone yelled from the back.
Brian threw the file he had in his hand down on his desk and looked up in anger, "bullshit!"
"O'Conner," Tanner called out in disapproval.
"Well it is," Brian said standing, "You all do this to me every year. If I'm marked off then someone calls in and I have to work, and then you never changed the log to say I worked for you. It puts us right back here, and I'm sick of it. I worked the last five Halloweens straight people. Five years of clowns, destructive teenage brats, drunken idiots, I could go on and on..."
"I'm sure you can Brian," Tanner said and Brian didn't miss the look of sympathy on his face. "You're off, for sure. I don't care who tries to call in this year, O' Conner will not work Halloween."
"O'Conner I need you to come in and work," Tanner said into the phone sounding rushed and crazed.
"But," Brian said, "you said I didn't have to work this Halloween, Dom got me a costume and everything." Brian knew he sounded whinny if Vince's snickers were anything to go by, but he was suppose to off damnit.
"Well that was before some crazed lunatic released tons of fucking robots in the middle of downtown!" Tanner yelled over the commotion.
"Huh?" Brian said grabbing his LAPD jacket and gun. "Robots…what?"
"Exactly what I said O'Conner robots, look the boys are doing a good job at holding them off, but no one fights like you can, or is quite as good of a shot, I need you Brian."
"I'm on my way, where too?"
"Downtown, I think the asshole who released these things is around fifth, trust me once you see him you can't miss him."
"I'll be there in five Tanner."
Brian hung up the phone, "There's a situation, robots," Vince looked at Brian like he was insane, "I know, just let Dom know when he gets back alright?"
"Alright," Vince told him already flipping to the news channel hoping to catch site of these robots. "Be careful Brian."
Brian didn't know what to expect when he got there, honestly he had hoped Tanner was kidding. He wasn't, when he got on scene it wasn't hard to find the barricade of officers fighting against...and Brian still couldn't believe it...tons of robots. Robots that didn't go down no matter how many shots they took. He joined up and started shooting himself; it wasn't long before he figured out how to take them down. "The head!" He called out to the other officers, "shoot them in the head."
"Brian are you on scene?" He heard his radio go off.
"Yeah Tanner, you got to shoot them in the head."
"I'll let everyone know, look Brian the guy who set these things off is still out there no one else wants to go after him, he's...huge Brian."
Brian took a deep breath, "just tell the leader of this unit to let me through, I'll take care of it Tanner."
Just as Brian heard Tanner on a different radio giving him the go ahead he saw two figures in red costumes running right past them into the direction of this "huge" bad guy.
"Hey!" Brian called out, "come back!"
"No can do police man," one called back and Brian recognized the costume as a Deadpool one. "Bad guy is this way!"
"What the fuck," Brian said not waiting for a signal before he ran off after the dumb civilians who were going to get themselves killed. "Shit," he muttered while picking up the pace.
When he finally got close to them he noticed that the other male was dressed as Spider-Man. "Hey I know you got the costumes but you can't just run into..."
Brian didn't get a chance to finish that sentence.
"Oh look Spider-Man and Deadpool are finally here!" A creepy robotic voice yelled out.
When Brian looked up and saw the man speaking he really wished he had stayed home. Huge was an understatement for this man, he was bigger than a car, with metal limbs coming out all over his body. "Holy shit," he said not quite believing what he was seeing.
"Who the fuck are you?" The guy in the Deadpool costume yelled out pulling a gun out of his holster and pointing it at the giant…thing.
"I'm Robotics Man!" The metal guy said in a tone that implied they should think his name was glorious.
Both men in costume started laughing, and Brian couldn't help the snicker that slipped out his mouth. "I'm sorry," Brian said still laughing, "Robotics Man? What kind of name is that?"
"A cop?" The badly name villain drawled, "you brought a cop for backup? How pathetic!" The man spat causing Brian to narrow his eyes in anger. "He will be the first to go!"
"I don't think so," Brian said pulling out his gun and lining up a perfect shot. He hit one the claw hands coming out of the guys body and chuckled when the Spider-Man look alike let out a little whoop.
"One down only seven more to go!" He called out to both Brian and the guy dressed as Deadpool.
Things happened quickly after that, metal arms started flying everywhere. Brian didn't really have much time to think of his fellow fighters, or the fact that the Spider-Man was really shooting out webs and flipping through the air. He didn't even fully notice the Deadpool wielding a pair of katanas expertly.
All he had time do was concentrate on taking the guy in front of him down, and his robots friends when they were called into help. It wasn't until he was right underneath the metal idiot that he saw the computer looking box on his hip. "Hey," Brian said looking towards his left at Deadpool, "why don't you stick one of those swords into that side of his, I bet it controls the robots!"
"Oh pretty and brains!" Deadpool yelled out, "baby boy! Daddy could use a lift!"
Later Brian would really wish he hadn't stopped fighting in order to watch Spider-Man pull Deadpool up by a web. Because the moment he looked away he felt metal pierce his side, and it hurt like a bitch. If he wasted an extra bullet into that robots head, well it was his secret revenge no one had to know.
It was pretty anticlimactic from there, Deadpool stabbed the guy's side, Brian shot off his last arm while he was distracted (sword sticking out of him), and Spider-Man webbed him up.
Brian put his hand on his side and watched as both Spider-Man and Deadpool jumped down in front of him. "You're not just some crazy assholes in costumes are you?"
"Well that's up for debate, I'm crazy he's a little crazy," Deadpool said tilting his head in Spider-Man's direction. "I'm an asshole for sure, but baby boy isn't."
"And we are certainly in costume, well suits," Spider-Man finished.
Brian nodded, "what are you two doing in L.A.," he asked sitting down in the middle of the street. Everyone else could find him if they wanted to take that fucker in, he was tired as fuck, wasn't moving.
"This one thought we could use a vacation," Spider-Man drawled. "Some vacation Pool."
"Hey I didn't ask some start up Villain to follow us!" Deadpool yelled out in mock outrage.
"You put up a giant billboard that said "Spider-Man and Deadpool out! Going to sunny Los Angeles'," Spider-Man yelled out.
"Oh come on baby, you know that you were getting bored," Deadpool said and even with the mask Brian knew the man was pouting.
Brian felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and held up his finger to the two superheroes, well superhero and mercenary.
"Hey Dom," Brian said into the phone hearing his exhaustion in his own voice.
"Brian are you okay? We saw you on the news running into a group of fucking robots after two kids in a Deadpool and Spider-Man costume."
"Yeah I'm fine, I mean I fought this giant robot guy with the worst fucking villain name ever, but we took him down."
"We?" Dom asked.
"Yeah," Brian said slowly, "about that, umm it wasn't two kids in costume. I mean it actually was Deadpool and Spider-Man."
"Bri," Dom said concern lacing his tone heavily. "Deadpool and Spider-Man are in New York, I know some crazy shit happened tonight, but that doesn't mean those kids were actually superheroes."
Brian felt himself get a little angry, "Well technically Deadpool is mercenary."
"Bri baby, come home. They've been working you too much, you're stressed out. Just come home and I'll give you a nice massage. I'll even call Tanner and tell him you aren't coming in tomorrow. You can sleep in, we can spend the whole day in bed, how does that sound?"
"Alright," Brian said instead of making a big fuss about Dom not believing him. "I just have to wait for someone to show up and take this fucker in."
"Okay baby, see you when you get home."
Brian hung up and gave a loud huff.
"Oh lover's quarrel!" Deadpool called out pointing at Brian. "Girlfriend didn't believe you?"
Brian shook his head, "husband actually and no. He thinks I'm stressed, I have been working a lot lately not a large leap, but..."
"Why didn't you tell him off then?"
Brian chuckled, "he said he would give me a massage, his massages are good, and usually lead to amazing sex where I don't have to do any of the work."
"Best kind," Deadpool and Spider-Man said at the same time.
Spider-Man suit eyes narrowed, "if you think I'm doing any of the work tonight after this, you're insane."
"Oh I'll do the work don't you worry baby boy," Deadpool said with a wink.
"You two together?" Brian asked a little surprised.
"Practically married," Spider-Man said with a nod.
"Practically?" Brian asked, "why not actually?"
Spider-Man shrugged, "the city wouldn't take kindly to their friendly neighborhood Spider-Man being married to the famous Merc with a mouth."
Brian shrugged, "fuck them then."
"You know I like you," Deadpool told the cop. "First you go running into a shit robot show with no backup and then you see a giant ass half robot/half man and laugh at his name choice. You're taking all of this shit very well, you really a superhero yourself?"
Brian shook his head no, "just a cop, but I'm use to crazy shit, sure I was little shocked but," Brian shrugged, "got a job to do."
"Sounds superhero material to me," Deadpool sang out. "Bet your pay is shitty too, that's a superhero quality."
Brian laughed, "pay is definitely shitty and the hours suck."
"Yep," Spider-Man agreed. "I do agree with Pool here, I've seen cops face guys like him, they usually back up and let us handle it. You actually started the fight, didn't back down when faced with a monster."
Brian shrugged once again and pressed into his side harder, "I've seen worse," he said slowly. "When I was kid."
Deadpool sat down in front of Brian and pulled the smaller superhero into his lap. "I smell tragic origin story!"
Brian tilted his head to side, "eh is what it is."
"All superheroes have a tragic origin story of some kind! He's definitely one!" Deadpool said close to Spider-Man's ear. "You know if you're worried about not having superpowers, you should know that not all heroes have them these days."
"He's got you there," Spider-Man said leaning his back into Wade's chest.
"A lot of cops have tragic back stories too," Brian said. "Anyways back to you two, you want to be married but you think the city will what, burn your hero merchandise?"
"Something like that," Spider-Man said.
"Like I said fuck them, do what makes you happy," Brian said once again while lifting his hand to look at the blood on it.
"You got hit?" Deadpool asked eyeing Brian's bloody hand.
"It ain't deep," Brian told him looking at Deadpool's arm, "anyways so did you."
Deadpool nodded and looked at the bleeding gash on his arm, "I have a legendary healing factor however, you don't."
"Nope," Brian agreed, "but I do have legendary stubbornness for not going to hospitals, I also have an amazing sister-in-law who is a doctor at home. She will patch me up when I get there."
Deadpool pointed at Brian, "total superhero!"
Brian chuckled, "stop changing the subject, look I'm feeling all helpful tonight so I'm going to tell you something." Both men leaned forward like they were two kids at story time. "There is always going to be people who don't like you or who you are with, but honestly if they can't be happy that you're happy then they ain't worth it."
"You sound like your speaking from experience," Spider-Man commented.
Brian nodded, "I do undercover work, and about six years ago I was sent in undercover to find a group who was stealing from semis. I went undercover with a team, the leader of the group was Dominic Toretto, and I fell in love with him."
Brian talked for a bit telling the two the story of how he found out it was Dom doing the heist, and how he gave the man his keys, turned into a criminal. Then he told them about working a job and getting the team pardoned. "So I knock on his door and hand him the pardon, honestly I thought he was going to punch me in the face."
"But he didn't?" Spider-Man asked, clearly intrigued with Brian's story.
"Nope," Brian said, "he kissed me, even with some of the team against the idea of us being together. He ignored them though, and I ignored everyone at LAPD who told me I shouldn't waste my time with a criminal. Everyone came around eventually, well almost everyone. Dom's ex who was family didn't stick around, that was her choice though. I've had to punch a few people with too loud opinions, but that don't really matter, because I'm happier than I've ever been. I have a family and a husband who loves me, who cares about everyone else?"
"True wisdom," Deadpool said while Spider-Man nodded.
"Anyways my Sergeant should be here soon so you two might want to get out of here."
"Say no more!" Deadpool yelled out lifting himself and Spider-Man both up and on their feet, "Cops usually frown at us a lot."
"And threaten to put us in jail cells," Spider-Man added.
"Oh!" Deadpool said while pulling out his phone. "Selfie?"
Brian nodded and stood to walk over to the two men. He smiled as the flash from Deadpool's iPhone went off. "It was nice to meet both you, but..."
"Don't come back?" Deadpool asked in a small voice.
Brian shook his head with a smile, "Nah come back, maybe just you know not take out a giant billboard before you do? Or if you do look a guy up and call, I like some warning before I face off against a super villain."
"Got it," Both men said.
"Oh feel free to take the credit for..." Deadpool waved his hand in Robotics Man direction, "might get you a raise."
Brian shook his head, "probably not. Only asskissers get raises and I've never really been much into that."
"Alright, you know I gotta ask why a cop? With your skills you could be FBI or even CIA, but you chose police officer, why?"
Brian shrugged and put his hands in his pocket, "there's something that just feels honorable about being a cop."
"O'Conner!" Tanner yelled out causing Brian to turn away from the two men in suits. "Holy shit!" He cursed out seeing the guy behind Brian. "I got to you as fast as I could, but I guess you didn't need my help. You took him down by yourself?"
Brian chuckled looking back behind him only to find the two men long gone, "what would you say, if I told you Deadpool and Spider-Man helped?"
"I'd tell you that Toretto's call about you needing a day off makes a lot more sense now, and you got it. Go home Brian, you need some rest."
Brian laughed loudly before walking off from Tanner; he waved at the other officers he passed making their way to the scene. "Be careful boys," he called back. "He has terrible name, but he put up one hell of a fight."
Brian sat down beside Dom on the couch with his freshly made popcorn. "Hey I thought we were going to watch a movie," he said to everyone in the living room. "Why are you watching the news?"
"Every news channel is talking about something that happened in New York today," Mia told him. "Apparently Deadpool and Spider-Man got engaged."
"Seriously," Brian asked with a huge smile.
"Yeah, Deadpool knocked a bunch of bad guys who were in the process of committing crimes out and spelled "Will You Marry Me?' with their bodies." Jesse told Brian who laughed loudly at that.
"Spider-Man then webbed out a giant "Yes' on some bridge." Vince added, "anyways apparently they are doing an interview right now."
Brian turned back to the TV and listened to the two men speak with a huge grin on his face. "Truth is we've been together for a long time now, but just needed a push in the right direction to realize what we really want."
"A push?" The reporter asked.
"A friend," Spider-Man answered.
"This awesome cop who took down Robotics Man with us in Los Angeles," Deadpool said while pulling out his phone and pushing it towards one the cameras.
Brian laughed loudly as Dom choked on a bite of popcorn once he saw the selfie with Brian, Deadpool, and Spider-Man on the television.
"You…" Dom said staring at Brian in disbelief.
"Hey I tried to tell you! You didn't believe me, said I was just tired and stressed remember?"
Dom nodded his head, "I'll never doubt you again love."
Brian gave a smug satisfied smirk, just as the doorbell went off. He got up from the couch to answer the door.
"Hi," he told the UPS guy with a medium size box in his hand.
"I have a package for Brian O' Conner, needs to be signed for."
"That's me," Brian told him reaching out for the man's tablet and sighing the line. He took the box and thanked the guy before shutting the door and taking it into the living room.
"What's that?" Leon asked.
"Don't know yet," Brian said pulling out his knife to cut the tape. He opened the box carefully and scoffed when he saw a dark navy blue spandex suit in it. He pulled it out, "he didn't," Brian said shaking his head, laughing a little when he saw that there was mask in there as well. The suit was similar to both Deadpool and Spider-Man's suits, but drastically different as well. He felt down the sides of the suit and noticed hidden pockets filled with pocket knives everywhere. He had to admit the black belt that served as a gun holster was pretty cool. He pulled up on the note attached to said belt and chuckled at the, "add your own guns' note scribbled by who he assumed was Deadpool.
What really caught his eye however was the comic book sitting at the bottom of the box. It was titled Powers Issue #1 and had what looked like a cop on the front holding a gun. He pulled back the cover and read the note that was taped to the back of the front page.
Walker, that's your superhero name.
Being a superhero is cool, but according to Walker being a cop is the most honorable path an individual can follow.
Love,
XOXOX
Your Friendly Neighbor Spider-Man and Your Famous Merc With a Mouth
Brian felt his phone ring; he couldn't help but roll his eyes when it read New York as the area the number was calling from. "Hello Deadpool," he drawled into the phone.
"Wrong one," Spider-Man laughed out, "good try though."
"Just tell him already!" Deadpool yelled at the younger man on the phone, "I got notified he got the box!"
"Shh! Let me talk!" Spider-Man said back. "Hello there Officer O'Conner."
"We fought killer robots together, I'm pretty sure you can call me Brian Spider-Man."
"Oh right, well feel free to call me Webs, a lot of people do."
"Not ME!" Deadpool screamed in a high pitch.
Brian chuckled, "so I got the suit, and while I like the name, I'm still not sure about this whole hero thing, plus the spandex looks tight."
"You get use to it," Spider-Man said with a laugh. "Anyways you needed it, because we would like you to come to our engagement party, and of course it's a Superhero party so you needed your very own suit."
"Oh wow," Brian said surprised, "I saw on the news that you got engaged, congrats by the way, but you want me there, with all your hero friends, like the Avengers?"
"OF COURSE!" Deadpool yelled out, "You're the reason we got engaged anyways, you have to come. I already booked you and your husband's tickets. The confirmation code should be in your email."
"Umm…"
"Sorry, he gets overly excited and then just does stuff like that, plus Tony Stark owed him a favor, so he made him look you up, and that's how that happens."
"Right, well I guess we'll be there then." Brian looked at Dom who looked shell shocked but still nodded. "What should my husband wear if it's a hero type party?"
"Pool already took care of that too, a nice tux with a black mask should be arriving tomorrow."
"Stark can get access to even size information?"
"Yes," Spider-Man said, "sorry again."
"It's okay," Brian looked over at Dom again and smirked, "by any chance will Captain America be there, don't repeat this but my husband is a huge Cap fan."
"Oh Yes!" Spider-Man said excitedly. "Him and his fiancé already RSVPed."
"I didn't know Captain America was engaged, of course I probably wouldn't know that I mean…"
Spider-Man chuckled, "yeah you know the Winter Solider right? Bucky Barnes?"
"Yeah," Brian said slowly, "the Winter Solider and Captain Rogers?"
"Yep!" Deadpool squealed closer to the phone, "They are the cutest 100 year old lovebirds ever!"
Brian chuckled, "alright well I guess I'll see you two in…"
"Ten days," Spider-Man filled in, "Don't worry, Stark sent a letter to your boss, he thinks you got called in on official Avenger business."
"What?" Brian spat out, "My boss is going to think I'm some kind of super secret hero now isn't he?"
"See you at the party Walker!" Deadpool called out in the phone before hanging up.
"What was that about?" Vince asked amused.
"Apparently Dom and I are going to New York for an engagement party with a bunch of superheroes, and I think I somehow just became a superhero myself…"
Yes Powers is real comic book character when I read about what he said as a cop I knew Walker was the perfect name, especially seeing as Paul Walker played Brian O'Conner.
What will be Dom's reaction to seeing Brian in that spandex suit, will he ever stop thanking Deadpool for the glorious outcome of Brian's ass in said suit? How will he react to meeting his favorite hero Captain America? Will Brian finally embrace becoming a superhero? Join us next time in part two to find out!
