The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters has passed out on the floor somewhere. Despite heartfelt appeals this is the sequel to 'Scott Summers Gets His Groove On.'
Scott Summers Gets A Hangover
"Oh god…" Scott Summers staggered into the kitchen, wearing pajama pants and a white sleeveless shirt. His long hair looked unkempt and he was slightly unshaven. "Will somebody please shut those damn birds up?"
"And good morning to you Sunshine," Rogue snickered. Jean, Kitty and Kurt were there in the kitchen as well.
"Scott, how do you feel?" Jean asked.
"Like there's a bird sanctuary for insane birds in my brain," Scott moaned. "I hear chirping! Chirp, chirp, chirp…They don't stop! Why won't they stop?"
"I'd better make you some te- uh coffee," Jean winced as she corrected herself. "Coffee. Definitely coffee."
"Why? What's wrong with tea? Ow!" Scott winced in agony as he slumped into a chair.
"Scott after your little herbal adventure I think tea is the last thing you need," Rogue snorted.
"What are you talking about?" Scott asked. "Ow…Stupid birds…"
"You don't remember?" Kurt asked.
"Not really," Scott winced. "In fact…The last thing I remember is going to that stupid retreat after visiting Alex. Wait, I'm back home early? I thought I was supposed to be away for a month?"
"Scott, it has been a month," Kitty told him. "You've uh…Been kind of out of it."
At that moment Pietro poked his head in. "HEY GUYS! HE'S UP!" He shouted as he whizzed back into another room.
"Ooohhh! Will someone stop the room from spinning?" Scott moaned. "I don't have my seat belt on!"
"You really don't remember anything?" Kitty asked.
"No, for some reason it's all a blank," Scott winced.
"Don't worry," Rogue smirked. "It will all come back to you."
"Hey Summers," Lance walked in with the rest of the Brotherhood boys. They had their hands behind their backs. "We got some friends here that want to say hello."
They whipped out a bunch of hand puppets. "Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!" The 'puppets' sang cheerfully.
"Oh god I remember now…" Scott winced in agony as the memories of the past month came back. "I remember everything!"
"Aw come on Summers," Pietro's puppet said happily. "Put on a happy face!"
"I'd rather put you in traction!" Scott snarled. "OW! Once my brain recovers, if it ever does! What is it with all the sounds of birds in my head?"
"Hmmm, birds in Summer's brain," Lance pretended to think. "Gee what joke do you think I can make using those words?"
"Ha ha! Yeah what?" Pyro scratched his head.
"Why are they here?" Scott snapped.
"We figured nothing would get you back on your feet faster than them annoying you," Rogue explained.
"Plus we wanted to pay you back for making us sing in the Danger Room the other day," Kurt said. "And the talking oven incident."
"And how you embarrassed us all during the tree hugging incident in the park," Jean gave him a dirty look.
"Oh come on Red," Lance waved. "It wasn't that embarrassing."
"This however, is pretty embarrassing," Pietro zoomed out and came back with a scrapbook. "Loved the picture with you in a hula skirt."
"Nice coconuts," Pyro said cheerfully.
"I especially loved the poem he wrote on his low self esteem," Lance grinned.
"Yeah it made me feel better," Todd said. "Hey if someone like you can feel like a loser Summers…Just saying, gives a guy like me hope."
"Where did you get that?" Scott shouted, ignoring the throbbing in his head.
"I sold them the scrapbook for fifty bucks," Jean told him. "And I recommended a good place where they could make copies cheap."
"How could you sell them that for fifty bucks?" Scott yelled.
"Well we had to haggle the price down a bit," Fred told him. "Originally she wanted a hundred. But we managed to convince her to give it to us for half off."
"I did something really stupid didn't I?" Scott winced.
"Boy did you ever!" Todd nodded.
"What could I have…?" Scott tried to search his memories.
"You took Blob's side in an argument," Pietro reminded him.
"Oh…" Scott looked at Jean. "Can't you just shoot me and get it over with?"
"Sorry, I promised I'd save some of you for Logan," Jean said.
"Technically it was Bob's fault," Fred explained. "I don't know why he's so upset. Not like that eyebrow didn't grow back."
"Speaking of growing I love what you're doing with your hair," Pietro mocked as he tussled with Scott's locks. "Late 80's slacker suits you." Pietro pulled out a mirror from his back pocket and showed him.
"What?" Scott blinked. "Oh man! What happened to my hair?"
"You didn't cut it, duh!" Fred rolled his eyes.
"A little longer in the back and your hairstyle could match Lance's," Kitty said.
"That's it, Kitty. Keep kicking while I'm down," Scott grumbled.
"No, I think Wolverine is going to be kicking your butt around the Danger Room," Todd said cheerfully. "That's gonna be so much fun to watch!"
"What are you guys going to do? Tape it?" Scott asked the other X-Men sarcastically.
"No, we sold them tickets for twenty bucks each," Kurt said cheerfully.
"Best money we ever spent," Pietro grinned.
"We even got programs!" Todd waved a pamphlet. "I can't wait until tomorrow!"
"Why?" Scott asked.
"I guess Wolverine figured he might as well give us all the anti drug demonstration tomorrow," Lance shrugged. "Oh no wait, you already showed us why it's not good to take stuff you don't know about.
"No! I mean why me?" Scott yelled as he waved his arms towards the sky. "Why me, universe? Why does all this crap happen to me?"
"I don't know," Pietro grinned. "But I'm glad it does."
"It does seem to happen to him a lot doesn't it?" Kurt asked.
"It's like I'm being punished for something I did in another life!" Scott yelled.
"Or another fandom," Pyro shrugged.
"It is weird," Todd said. "I mean it's not like he'd cheat on Jean with a smoking hot blonde or something."
"Or just sit around in a hotel room watching TV while mutants are being persecuted," Pietro thought.
"Or shut down the school after a terrible tragedy sending dozens of mutants out into the cold," Fred thought.
"Or turn into an even bigger jerk than he is now," Lance shrugged. "If that's possible. Which I doubt."
"Would you maniacs please knock it off?" Scott snapped.
"You know, if Jean had a twin and he married her and had a kid and then he walked out on them both I could see it," Kurt thought.
"Oh yeah," Todd nodded. "If he did that I could see it."
"That would make sense if he did that," Kitty said. "Wow he if he did do that he would be a real jerk!"
"Not necessarily," Jean said. "I mean if he left my twin for me it would be understandable. I mean maybe she stole him from me? Maybe the child isn't really his?"
"Oh it's his all right," Kurt said. "And she didn't pretend to be you even though she looks exactly like you."
"Maybe he thought I was dead or something?" Jean asked.
"Still even if he did that would be pretty low of him to just dump his wife and kid," Lance said. "I mean…Just leave his family in the lurch to get back with his old girlfriend?"
"Yeah that's not right, yo," Todd said.
"I guess you guys do have a point," Jean shrugged.
"You guess we have a point?" Lance asked her. "Hello! You're supposed to be Miss Moral and Perfect and you're advocating adultery and child abandonment?"
"I am not advocating adultery and child abandonment!" Jean said.
"Uh yeah you were, Jean," Rogue gave her a look.
"I was not," Jean said.
"You were too," Kitty said.
"I wasn't!" Jean said.
"Yes you were!" Pietro said.
"You thought it was okay to commit adultery if you were the adulteree…" Fred said. "Is that the correct term?"
"Adulteress," Kurt corrected. "The correct term is adulteress."
"You sure?" Fred asked.
"I'm Catholic," Kurt explained. "I'm very sure. Believe me they stress that a lot."
"Yeah there's like two commandments that say not to do it," Kitty agreed.
"Of course a lot of people tend to ignore those commandments but that's neither here nor there," Kurt shrugged. "My point is that you're not supposed to do it!"
"That's exactly what we're saying!" Lance said.
"Unbelievable, for once the Brotherhood is more moral than Jean!" Rogue said. "Hell really has frozen over."
"They are not!" Jean snapped. "I only said it was understandable if I was in a situation like that where I was supposed to marry Scott but for some reason this other person marries him…"
"And you'd encourage him to cheat on his wife and leave his family!" Lance finished.
"Oh my God, I did say that," Jean realized.
"Yeah well maybe some blonde bimbo will encourage Scott to cheat on you if you did marry him?" Pietro folded his arms. "How do you like those apples sister?"
"You couldn't just move on if Scott was already involved with someone else?" Fred asked.
"With who?" Pietro asked.
"Well how about Wolverine? He's single," Pyro suggested.
"You know I didn't think of that," Jean thought. "That is an idea."
"Did you all drink the tea too?" Scott looked at them. "Or am I still out of my freaking mind? Because nothing any of you made any sense!"
"Well look who's up," Logan sauntered into the kitchen with a smile. "Hello Spiccoli."
"Who?" Scott asked.
"You kids have no appreciation for the classics," Logan grunted.
"Logan I am so sorry for what happened…" Scott apologized.
"No, you're not," Logan smiled. "But you will be."
"Please tell me there are lasers so I can just walk right into the line of fire and just get shot," Scott put his head on the table. "Maybe then I can get these birds out of my head?"
"Relax Scott, fortunately for you we all know you hate to take an aspirin unless it's absolutely necessary," Logan snorted as he got some coffee. "Charles is a lot more angry at that doctor that gave you the whacky weed tea than at you."
"Yeah we're just enjoying the laugh at your expense while we can," Kurt smirked.
"So nice to know I have supportive friends," Scott glared at him.
"Charles is trying to get his lawyers after this Xesse guy but he just up and disappeared," Logan grunted. "Like he never existed."
"That sounds nice…" Scott groaned. "Not existing. Then I wouldn't have to hear the birds."
"Oh the bird hangover," Logan nodded. "I've heard that's a bad one. Not half as bad as your haircut. You know I can fix that." He shot out a claw. "Hold still a minute."
"No! No! Wolverine! No! Stay back!" Scott got up and tried to get away.
"Come on Scott," Logan stalked him. "I always wanted to be a barber."
"AAAAHHHH!" Scott ran away with Logan at his heels.
"You know I love coming over here," Lance snickered. "Where else can you get this quality of entertainment for free?"
