Speechless
This is my first ever songfic! I hope you like it! By the way, italics are for lyrics, and the bolded italics are for the chorus.
Song: Speechless
Artist: Lady Gaga
I ran back to my farm, trying hard no to let any tears escape my eyes. Just don't think about it, Jill, just don't think about it! But it was impossible not to.
He used me. He used me. He never loved me. I was just a toy to keep him entertained. I saw my small house in the distance, and pushed myself to run faster. I couldn't let anyone see me cry. I wouldn't let anyone see me in a moment of weakness.
I rushed into the house, and closed the door behind me. I felt drained of energy. Completely drained, with only a few drops left.
"Don't cry, Jill, don't cry…" I whispered to myself. "Crying only makes things worse." Yet, despite myself, my vision was blurring, and I felt as if there were a big lump in my throat.
And I started crying. I felt so helpless… I still couldn't believe that the Phantom Thief, the one I had grown to love… was a fake.
After a while, my loud sobs died down to quiet sniffles. I wanted to keep crying, to get rid of all these feelings, but I knew that if I did so, they would only grow stronger.
I suddenly remembered something Gustafa had told me. "Music is a great way to let out your feelings and passion…" he had said dreamily. At first I thought that hippy was full of shit. But it was worth a try.
I stood up, wobbling slightly, and made my way to the back of the house unsteadily. When I ran away from home, I barely brought anything. Just a few pairs of clothes, and some money. When Griffin, the bar man, had found out I had musical talent, he gave me one of his old guitars as a gift.
I reached over, and picked up the guitar. I strummed the six strings, and winced a little; this guitar needed tuning.
I grabbed a small notebook and pen, and brought that outside with me, along with my guitar. I ran over to my barn, where a few stacks of fodder lay around, because I was too lazy to put them away right away.
I sat on one, and tuned my guitar. Gustafa always said that when he was sad, he wrote his own songs. I had to admit, some of the lyrics he made up where pretty good. It was just the tune that wasn't quite right.
But how did he come up with all those lyrics?
"Just think about how you're feeling right now…" Gustafa's words echoed in my head.
Alright… Think of how I'm feeling… Hmm… That should be simple enough.
"I can't believe, what you said to me, tonight we were alone." I sang. My voice was still a little scratchy from my crying before, but it would have to do.
I wrinkled my nose. Something didn't sound right in that. I sang it again. I think it's the word 'tonight' that sounds funny. The pronunciation didn't fit the tempo's speed. Hmm… what if I said last night instead? It wouldn't really matter anyway. In less then an hour, it would be considered last night anyway.
I sang the improved version.
I can't believe
What you said to me
Last night we were alone
Much better. I wrote the lyrics on the top of the notebook page.
Alright… Now what?
"Describe what happened." I swear Gustafa might be becoming my conscience…
"If you say so…" I said to my imaginary helper.
You put your hands up
Baby you gave up
You gave up
Hmm… Not bad. I quickly wrote that down too.
I can't believe
How you looked at me
With your James Dean glossy eyes
I giggled a little. I had no idea who James Dean was (1)! I just randomly made up the name. Maybe I should add something about Skye's appearance too.
In your tight jeans
With your long hair
And your cigarette stained lies!
Oh yes, that definitely sounded like Skye. Into the notebook that all went.
Could we fix you
If you broke?
I giggled softly. That line made me think of humpty dumpty. A fairy tale… Kind of like what Skye thought he was from. I mean, that stupid catchphrase of his? "It's in the stars!" How stupid! Wait- that gave me another idea…
And is your punch line
Just a joke?
Cause I'll never talk again
Or at least, I'd never talk to him ever again.
Oh boy you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless
So speechless
And I'll never love again
Oh, friend
You've left me Speechless
You've left me Speechless,
So Speechless!
I suddenly thought of something: how had I ever even fallen in love with him in the first place? Maybe it was because of the way he complemented me, or the way he treated me like no other had. Or maybe it was just the way he said my name…
I can't believe
How you slurred at me
With your half-wired broken jaw
I wonder how many times he had gotten punched for his jaw to break…
You popped my heart seams
All my bubble dreams
Bubble dreams
I blushed a little as I wrote this lyric down. I always had tiny fantasies about Skye. I knew he'd find them pretty ridiculous- but I didn't expect them all to pop and vanish like they had.
I can't believe
How you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
I giggled again. Another made up name! How did I come up with this one? Who on Earth is Johnnie Walker?
He's gonna get you
And after he's through
There's gonna be no love left to rye
Oh, I know who Johnnie Walker is, now. He's a murderer!
My feelings of sadness and self pity were fading into anger and aggressiveness now. I would just love to be able to chase him around with my axe!
And I know that it's complicated
Heh, tell me about it! An insecure little farm girl like me, and a woman-loving thief. How could I have ever thought it would work out?
But I'm a loser in love
So baby
Raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts of
All my wrecked up friends
How could I have been so selfish and stupid? Lumina already tried to hit on Skye. All she got was a one-night stand, and it was over. She was so upset, but I was too busy obsessing over that stupid thief to notice that he had used her.
I sang through the chorus one more, strumming my guitar and creating sad sounding minor chords. This song could be my own life's anthem, it represented me so well! I eventually finished singing the chorus, so now it was time to find a tune for the bridge.
Hooow?
Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?
And after all the drinks
At bars that we've been to?
Well… I payed for whatever I drank. He stole whatever he wanted to drink.
Would you give it all up?
Could I give it all up for you?
Of course he wouldn't. He was born a certain way (2).
And after all the boys and girls that we've been through
Well… All the girls he'd been through. Skye was my first, and only love.
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?
If I promised, boy, to you?
I didn't need to promise anything to him. If he gave up his player ways, then maybe, just maybe, I'd give him another chance. But that's all too good to be true.
That I'll never talk again?
I played a few more chords on my guitar.
And I'll never love again?
Suddenly, the wind picked up, blowing my hair around, as I prepared for a crescendo.
I'll never write a song
Or even sing along
I'll never love again!
So speechless!
You've left me Speechless,
So Speechless!
Will you ever talk again?
Oh boy, why so Speechless?
You've left me Speechless,
So Speechless!
Some men may follow me
Like Rock, as much as both Lumina and I wished for the contrary.
But you choose 'death and company'
Why you so Speechless?
Oh oh oh
And my song was finished. I was quite pleased with the way it had turned out. It spoke my life as it was right now.
I picked up my stuff, and rushed home for bed, a lot happier then I was a little earlier before.
I woke up next morning. I was a little tired from yesterday. That reminded me… I picked up the brown leather not book, and opened it. I was just re-reading the song, and correcting any possible errors, when I noticed there wasn't a title.
I grabbed a pen, and wrote in cursive on the top line:
Speechless
I came back inside a while later, finally finished with the farm work. I was about to jump right into bed, when something caught my attention.
On my small table, there was a note.
Tonight, Angel, I will steal you heart away.
Phantom Skye
I smirked, and for the first time since I arrived at Forget-Me-Not, before going to bed, I locked the front door.
Well? Did you like it? I've had this stuck in my head for a while… My inspiration bubbles forced me to wake up and think about it… At about 2:00 in the morning… I was NOT HAPPY!
(1) No, seriously. I don't.
(2) Hahaha, I must be in a really Gaga mood! First Speechless, and now Born this Way?
