Harry smiled brightly as he watched Albus. His son had always had a strange fascination with Muggle merry-go-rounds. He loved to take a great running leap onto them, laughing as his mother winced at his carelessness. He had done exactly that today. Harry had laughed with him. Ginny had simply smiled in a resigned kind of a way.
"Watch me, Dad! Watch me!" Albus called out excitedly. "Watch me, Mum!"
"Albus!" Ginny called out. "Be careful!"
She turned to look at Harry, ready to share the trials of parenting, a slightly worried look in her eyes. Her eyes brightened as they lingered on her husband, just as they always seemed to do. Harry noticed this, but did not acknowledge it; he was too busy watching Albus. He was pleased that Albus still enjoyed such simple pleasures. Albus had a tendency to be far too serious about most things. This had greatly increased since his older brother had gone off to Hogwarts. Ginny informed him regularly, only half in jest, that it was entirely his fault if their son over-thought things. Harry never bothered to argue with her on this, usually he would smile vaguely and look away. Most of the time, however, his thoughts were elsewhere.
"He'll be fine, Gin. Don't worry," Harry tried to reassure her.
Harry watched, amused, as Ginny hurried towards Albus to begin her ritual fussing. She was laughing as she did it, smoothing his hair and touching his face. He shrugged her off with an annoyed "Muuuuuum!" and ran off in the opposite direction. She began chasing him while he circled the merry-go-round. Harry's face darkened as he watched his wife. She was looking radiant as usual. She never seemed to look anything other than radiant these days. She was always smiling and laughing. The fierce look in her eyes that Harry had so loved was almost completely gone. She had no need of it now. Even when she was disciplining the children, she seemed to do it with the half smile that never left her eyes. Harry was almost sure the kids didn't notice it. He envied them their ignorance. He wished he'd never noticed it. He wasn't entirely sure why, but the total lack of any distressed feeling in Ginny unsettled him. He frowned slightly at this new thought.
"Dad!"
Harry looked down to see his daughter Lily tugging at his hand impatiently. He smiled down at her affectionately. She, at least, had that fierce look mastered, even at the tender age of eight.
"Yes?"
"I want to go play."
"Go on then," Harry said cheerfully. "Don't let me stop you."
"You're not coming?" There was a distinct pout in her voice.
"Not right now, you go play with your brother. I'll be along in a bit." Lily shrugged her shoulders and dropped his hand before racing away to join in the chase.
Harry sighed as he watched them go. They appeared to be quite the picture-perfect, happy family. Lily, who looked just like Ginny and Albus who looked just like him. Harry didn't know what was wrong with him lately. There seemed to be a sort of simmering discontent just beneath the surface of his smiles. He hid it well, or at least he flattered himself into thinking he did. His family seemed to be blissfully unaware of his strange, internal struggle. They were all laughing happily in the sun while Harry skulked in the shade, watching them. Harry was angry with them for being so happy, but he was angrier at himself for not being happy with them. He didn't want to be near them. He wanted to be alone. He sighed again.
"Trouble in paradise, Potter?"
Harry turned his head slightly to the side and saw the pale, pointed face and the sleek blonde hair of Draco Malfoy. He was alone. For once that insipid twit he had married was not with him.
"Afternoon, Draco." Malfoy winced almost imperceptibly at the use of his first name, as Harry knew he would. "What brings you here?"
"I was in the neighbourhood."
"A Muggle neighbourhood? I thought you didn't venture into such places if you could help it," Harry said with mock innocence.
"On occasion I think it only fitting that I make an appearance. It would not be prudent to appear to hold a grudge against the Muggles."
"Indeed? If that is the case, where's that charming wife of yours? I didn't know you were allowed to be out on your own." Harry took immense pleasure in the dull flush that spread across Malfoy's cheeks. "Especially when making such an appearance. Shouldn't it be a family effort?"
Malfoy only smirked and said, "Speaking of charming women, why aren't you out there playing happy family? Surely your wife would welcome the addition."
"I do not—"
"Of course not," Malfoy said coolly. "There is no need to play happy family, as you and your brood are so clearly the epitome of a happy family, aren't you?"
"Shove off, Malfoy."
Malfoy smirked. He seemed to still enjoy baiting Harry, no matter how civil a relationship they maintained in public. In truth, Harry relished the challenge. It made him feel more engaged than an entire afternoon of sparring with Ginny. Not that they did this any more. Ginny always seemed unwilling to argue with Harry lately. It was disconcerting to say the least. Her ability to hold her own in an argument was something she was famous for. Harry often wondered where this sudden upsurge of the level-headed, let's-not-talk-about-this-now attitude had come from. In most other ways, she was almost alarmingly similar to her mother and Molly Weasley was never one to back down from an argument. Harry missed the passion he once felt for his wife. Now, there was no fire, no passion. There was comfort and normalcy. And children. Don't forget the children.
Harry stared at Malfoy's face, noting the faint smugness around the smile and the cold amusement in his eyes. He felt his mouth go dry as he looked at those eyes and wondered briefly what it would look like to see them half-closed in sleepy pleasure. Harry allowed his eyes to trail down Draco's neck, until they rested happily on the place where his robes started. He found himself thinking about what the skin underneath would feel like. Would it be as soft and smooth as it looked? Or would it be coarse and—
"See something you like, Potter?"
Harry jerked out of his reverie and looked guiltily into his eyes. Those eyes challenged him now as one pale eyebrow arched in question.
"I–"
"Well, this is an interesting development, isn't it?"
"What?" Harry asked aggressively.
"You've never been known for your subtlety, it's true, but this?"
"But what, Malfoy?"
"Ogling another man so openly. So brazenly," Malfoy pasted a look of concern on his face. "And in front of your children as well! What shall we do?" He tutted softly.
"Shove off, Malfoy," Harry repeated, moving a few steps away from him. He focussed once more on his family. None of them had noticed the exchange; they were all too absorbed in what they were doing. Harry inhaled sharply as he felt Malfoy step up behind him.
"I've often wondered why you married her," he continued conversationally and Harry stiffened. "Was it just to gain entrance into the family? The Weasley's are a large brood, it's true, but she was the only eligible candidate, especially if you yourself wished to breed."
Harry was finding it difficult to concentrate on what Malfoy was saying; he was too busy trying to slow his breathing, which had quickened unaccountably at Malfoy's proximity.
"Were you that desperate to be in the family that you were willing to accept anything?" Malfoy continued, taking another step closer. Harry's eyes closed, quite involuntarily. "Or is there something about her that I just cannot see?" Malfoy's voice was barely above a whisper.
Harry's eyes snapped open again. Malfoy was standing directly in front of him now, a calculating look on his face.
"Some secret quality, perhaps, that was enough to tempt the famous Harry Potter?" Malfoy lifted a hand and held it close to Harry's face. Harry watched it move closer, completely still, unable to move. "Or could it be," Malfoy continued, "that you simply had no," the hand drew closer, "better," closer, "option?" The hand came to rest on his face. Harry's eyes were wide and he gasped softly. "Harry." Harry twitched at the sound of his name, soft and drawn out. He could do nothing but watch, open-mouthed, as the face drew nearer to his own. "I could destroy all that you hold dear," their lips were almost touching, "with one little kiss."
"Yes," Harry whispered, ashamed to hear the desire in his voice.
"And you want me to," Malfoy continued softly and Harry licked his lips nervously. "Don't you, Harry?"
Harry let his eyes slip closed once more. "Yes."
He felt Malfoy close the remaining distance between them. Harry could feel his breath against his face; he allowed his lips to part slightly.
A shriek of laughter pierced the silence, followed by a rustle of leaves and a soft popping noise.
"Harry!" A different voice called out. "What are you doing?"
Harry's eyes flew open to see Ginny walking slowly up to him. She looked at him quizzically. He looked around frantically, but Malfoy was gone.
"Nothing," he muttered. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah, I think we're ready." She smiled at him and leaned forward to kiss him. The kiss was a lingering one and Ginny slipped her tongue briefly into his mouth. Harry wished she wouldn't. He heard Albus and Lily making fake retching noises behind them. She pulled back and smiled again, seductively this time. She looked down pointedly. "That looks promising." Harry blushed and moved to cover himself. "We'll continue this later," she purred.
Ginny winked at him and smiled again. Harry tried to smile back but it felt more like a grimace. Ginny didn't notice. She bent down over Albus and kissed him on the cheek. Albus squawked indignantly but Ginny only laughed again and grabbed his hand, leading him out of the park.
Harry watched this exchange silently, frowning to himself. Where had Malfoy gone? He touched his lips anxiously. What would've happened if Malfoy had ... If Harry had just stood there and let him ... No. He wouldn't have. No. Never. If anyone offered ... No. He had Ginny. He loved Ginny. He would never want anyone else. He certainly wasn't attracted to him, or any other man for that matter. He was attracted to Ginny. Desperately, pathetically attracted to Ginny. She was the mother of his children and his chosen companion in life. He never really wanted to kiss Malfoy. He never wanted to touch Malfoy. His body was simply playing tricks on him. The lower half of his body definitely was. There was no way he'd got an erection over that! It must have been the thought of Ginny and having the house to themselves, later that night when the kids went to stay with Ron and Hermione. Yes, that must have been it. He was looking forward to another night of textbook love-making. Nice, safe, predictable love-making. It was all he'd ever wanted. His reaction was natural. Any normal man watching Ginny running around in the sun, her hair flying everywhere and her skin glowing, would have had the same reaction. Malfoy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing more.
"Dad!" Lily was tugging on his hand again with both of hers. The fierce look was back. She put her hands on her hips and glared up at him. "Are we going, or what?"
Harry shook his head to clear it, casting a nervous glance around the park. He couldn't see anyone else around them. Sighing again, he forced a smile onto his face as he took Lily's hand and followed Ginny and Albus out on to the street. Ginny flicked her hair over her shoulder and smiled at him again. It was the same dazzling smile that had always got his attention.
"Come on, Harry! Get a move on! We've got lots to do tonight." She winked at him and flicked her hair over her shoulder again.
"Yeah," Harry managed a grin in return as he and Lily caught up to the others. "We do." He draped his free arm over her shoulder and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I can hardly wait."
