The Shirt

"Tuck, I hope you realize I'm gonna get you back for this."

"Come on, I think it flatters you, dude. Plus at least orange is more festive than black and white!"

"Flattering? You're kidding me, right?!"

It was cool Hallow's Eve night, at around 9 in the evening. The moon had by now risen high into the sky, marking the sensible end of candy gathering time and marking the beginning of tooth decay hour to any child still out and about, going from house to house. By now, most of Amity Park were winding down in their homes… all but the teenagers.

A massive Halloween party was to be held at Dash's house at 10:30 that same night, and the whole of Casper High was invited. Everyone from A-Listers to nerds (it was one of Danny's conditions in order for him to show up, as well as his friends being invited) to those in between would be there.

Meaning everyone would be there to witness the horror that is Danny's back-up 'costume', the world's ugliest Halloween shirt.

It was a gift from his father, given to him at the ripe age of 11 when he didn't have his powers. (The fact it still fit him made Danny feel a little sad inside). It was meant to be a ghost repellent, what with the large, in-bold letter stating proudly the wearer was 'NOT A GHOST', as well as a certain pesky side effect Jack neglected to tell him about: Latching onto and depowering any ghost it came into contact with. Unfortunately for Danny, when he tried it on he was in his ghost form, causing the shirt to remain stuck on his person and leave him locked in his transformation until after midnight.

And no one had the foggiest idea of how to get it off.

"Aw, come on, Danny, it doesn't look THAT bad," Tucker said as he tried comforting his friend on having nothing but the ugly shirt. His friend blinked in disbelief before groaning in anguish and hiding his face, sparing one more glance at the mirror.

"I look like a traffic cone. A clashing, glowy traffic cone whose colors apparently make Bertrand want to vomit. Stupid Bertrand..." Danny grumbled into his hands as he winced away from his bedroom mirror. He and Spectra were the first people other than Tucker to witness the fashion atrocity and needless to say, they milked how mortified being out in public with it on made Danny until Tucker managed to chase them off.

"We could get another costume to put over it," Tucker suggested.

"Tucker, it's past 9," Danny explained as he tried again in vein to take the shirt off, "All of the costume shops are closed."

"How about phasing it off?"

"Tried it."

"Fenton tech?"

"I don't feel like getting unintentionally ripped apart molecule by molecule because of some misfire."

"Blowtorch?"

"I'm an ice core ghost, Tuck. That would probably kill me."

"Parents?"

"Dad just shuffled away awkwardly when I asked him and Mom gave me a sorry look and half of the bag of the candy we're giving out as an apology."

By that point, the two boys had exhausted all of their ideas. Danny WOULD have had a costume to put over it (allowing him to avoid even trying it on in the first place) if Tucker didn't accidentally burn half of it to ash with an ecto gun. The techno geek was so busy gawking at girls on the street that he hit Danny square in the chest with a shot from the blaster, destroying the costume instantly.

"I did the laundry and deep cleaned the lab for a month to pay for that astronaut costume myself and POOF! Up in smoke!" Danny further lamented.

Tucker wrapped his left arm around Danny's shoulder, unaware that his friend began pointing the 'scary eyes' towards him when he did so. "Look on the bright side!" he said. "At least we get to go to an A-Lister party this year!"

"If I don't fully die of embarrassment first." A knock at the front door could be heard, indicating Sam's arrival. She had come early to help get the shirt off and they were running low on time.

Sam immediately cackling the moment she laid her eyes on him didn't send Danny any positive vibes.

"It's even funnier in person!" Sam blurted out between fits of laughter.

"Yeah, yeah, can we just get this over with? You bring the industrial strength scissors?" Danny nodded when Sam took out a pair of scissors half his height. He led the two back into his room and laid on the bed so the two friends could get started.

Upon starting to cut, the scissors nearly chipped in half.

"WHAT?!" The trio exclaimed in unison.

"Maybe I got a defective pair…" Sam said as she looked at the scissors and scratched her head in astonishment.

Tucker then tried to use a normal pair of safety scissors, but the two halves came undone in the attempt.

"Of course safety scissors aren't going to work if industrial scissors didn't, Tuck," Danny said.

"Let's try this chainsaw," Sam casually suggested as she easily lifted a logging chainsaw with ease.

"Wait… where did you get that?!" Danny's eyes became wide as saucers as the tool came from thin air. Sam shrugged and Danny winced as she was about to use it.

"Sam, are you crazy?! You can't use a chainsaw!" Danny sighed in relief as Tucker seemed to voice some reason. Just because the shirt wasn't being affected didn't mean that it wouldn't hurt him in his powerless state.

"Use acid instead!" Tucker continued, taking out a large bottle of hydrochloric acid and a dropper. Any color in Danny's already pale complexion disappeared in fear. The two friends then got into an argument over which method they wanted to use and potentially kill Danny with.

"Acid would be quick and easy. His parents could show up and stop you from all the noise it would make."

"Yeah, well, it'd be easier to get rid of all the leftovers with a chainsaws."

"Leftovers?!" Danny's mind screamed incredulously. "She isn't serious, is she?!"

They weren't planning on actually killing him in the process were they?!

Danny immediately shot up out of bed, wildly swinging his arms to separate the two warring friends. "Whoa, whoa, guys! I'm sure there's an easier way to get the shirt off without using acid and chainsaws… Are you crazy?!"

"...Y'know, what, Danny's right," Sam simply stated, and once again, Danny was led into a false sense of security before she pulled a tube of something green, glowing and clearly radioactive. "We'll use this green Kryptonite!" She then proceeded to creepily rub the container of crushed Kryptonite against Danny's chest, complete with an earnest smile.

"Do I look like Superman to you, Sam?!"

"Dude, have you looked at your life for the past year?" Tucker interjected. Danny glared at Tucker and mouthed 'not helping' to him. Tucker, oblivious to the glare, lifted his own new suggestion:.

"You can't be serious," Danny said exasperated as he placed his palm neatly into his face, "A POTATO?!"

"Yeah! Its starchy goodness should do wonders!" To prove his point, Tucker joined Sam and began rubbing the potato on Danny's back. The halfa began to become deeply disturbed.

"Guys, please just… please stop touching me…" Danny backed away slowly from his two crazed friends, which quickly morphed into a backpedal when they took back out the previous two suggestions.

"Wait, we need to try them all at once!" the two yelled. Sam and Tucker gave chase as Danny's backpedal became a sprint down the hall. The ghost boy bumped into Jazz just as he was about to dive down the stairs. She decided to stay home and was looking to get ready for bed.

"Jazz! Listen, I need your help. Sam and Tuck are acting crazy! Can I hide out in your- why are you suddenly wearing a chicken costume?"

Said sister shifted her outfit from her usual black and teal clothing into a full body chicken costume.

"Bu-GAWK!" Jazz cried, and she ran through the hall flapping her arms like wings. Danny had to blink to make sure he wasn't seeing things. The distraction was too much time lost as Sam and Tucker were now right behind him. Sam was brandishing the chainsaw like a madwoman and Tucker was licking the container of Kryptonite like an ice cream cone.

"GAH!" Danny screamed as he ran down the stairs. He was about to go and hide in the kitchen when his father- more specifically his father playing 'Twister' with the Guys In White- stopped him before he could make a move, with his mother strangely absent.

"Hey Danny!" Jack said as his turn came up. He had no flexibility to reach the circle he needed, so he popped his head off and placed it on the space. His disembodied head apparently counted, and no one but Danny bat an eye. "Still having trouble with that shirt, I see!"

"Uh… uh-huh…?" Danny said, not knowing what else to say. Seeing the Guys in White actually smile at him and carry around their own Danny Phantom plushies was the last straw and Danny immediately went back to running, screaming for his life and sanity as if the pause didn't happen.

He passed by many things when he dashed through the downstairs hall (since when did it get so long?): Dash dressing his dog in a tutu (how did he get into Danny's house without anyone noticing?!), a few ghosts being scared off by people he didn't know going 'BOO!" over and over again, Sam and Tucker having a tea party with Freakshow with Sam devouring something that looked suspiciously like a turkey leg smothered in gravy (None of that made any sense whatsoever… and why was he still running then?!), but the worst scene happened to be right at the end.

Danny paused his dash as he got to the dead end, right in front of a door. A distinct smacking sound could be heard, and Danny almost didn't want to know what was on the other side. Morbid curiousity got the better of him though.

What he saw wasn't something he ever wanted to see in his entire lifetime…

"Oh my God…"

Standing right against the back wall were Maddie and Vlad making out in front of a fireplace that was surely a fire hazard. The two stopped their session only to glare at the halfa.

"Do you mind, Daniel? We're in the middle of something here!"


Danny shot his head off of the couch screaming, horrified by the imagery he had just witnessed.

"Danny, calm down, pal!" he heard Tucker shout next to him, and soon his friend's hand was squeezing his shoulder in comfort. Danny slowly but surely began to realize where he was: his couch, surrounded by his completely normal (normal for Fenton Works) surroundings. His head was pounding and his stomach was on fire, but other than that, nothing looked out of place. He was still wearing that stupid shirt, but why was he human again?

Danny made sure he had relaxed before addressing Tucker. "What happened? How'd I end up back home?"

"Sam and I carried you. You passed out back at the party; Skulker showed up before it started and mixed some kind of hallucinogen into the punch. It didn't affect anyone else, but you were completely out of it for awhile there."

Hallucinogen. That certainly explained a lot.

"So all of that was a dream…" Tucker nodded and Sam came out of the kitchen with a glass of water. Danny happily drank it and felt much better.

"Hey, now that you're awake, you wanna watch a horror movie?" Tucker said eagerly, and Danny was about to reply when out of the corner of his eye, he could have sworn he saw Vlad with his mother. He jumped like a jumping bean, only to discover it was just a discarded lamp.

"I think I'll pass," Danny said after he felt like he wasn't going to go into cardiac arrest. He had seen enough scares for one night.

And so they spent the rest of the night tracking down Skulker and shaking the Thermos he was placed in repeatedly.


(And that was my incredibly late entry for Halloween. For those wondering, I'll have the next chapter of Tender Love and Scare out next afternoon. It's midnight and I'm tired, but I'm almost done with the chapter.)