(this story takes place during season 5 of Private Practice, yes I'm a medical freak!! I love Grey's and Private Practice)

Some people out-write tell you that you're a disappointment to the family, others just sit back and watch you build a wall that's just going to fall. This is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. Addiction, the one part of the brain that makes you want that one thing. You feed it and it's like fire. It never goes out until you force it and drench it in water. After the damage is done, you try to build your wall but you're broken inside. That's the game I'm playing.

The music was blaring in one of LA's famous bars as I danced on top of one of the tables. "Hey, freak!! Get off the table!!" She said looking up at me.

I bent down to her level and looked her in the eyes. "Why don't you try this out? Guys don't mind some girl on girl."

The girl pours some of her drink on my shoes, I tried telling her off but I lost my balance and fell on some glass. "Damn it," I said looking at the shards of glass in my hand. A young man ran up beside me and helped me up, "You need a ride to the hospital, young lady?"

"Sure, pretty boy" I slurred the last two words as he walked me out to his car. "What's your name?" He asked me, I told him as he pulled into the St. Ambrose parking lot. "Julia is a beautiful name. Here I'll help you out," he gets out of his side of the car and opens mine with a smile on his face. "Right this way, m'lady."

He hands me a water bottle and gestured to drink it slowly. I walk beside him, sneaking a suture set and slipping into the nearest empty trauma room. "You sure that I shouldn't ask for a doctor to do this?" He said watching me pour peroxide on my hand, "Did I forget to mention that I'm a damn surgeon?" I said sarcastically sticking the needle into my skin and slowly sewing up the wound.

"That's um-"

"Sexy?"

"I was going to say that was cool but I could also say that it was sexy too."

"What surgeon are you, what do you specialize in?"

I look up and stared into his eyes. The alcohol is slowly going away and the grogginess of the hangover is slowly taking over my body. "I'm a neurosurgeon, there are two neurosurgeons and the second one happens to be my best friend."

"Sounds amazing, so um, you could cut into my brain right now?"

"I could, yes."

"Why were you there?" I finally finished the sutures and grabbed a sports bandage wrap off of the counter. "At the bar I meant."

"I was there because I needed a night out, then when I saw you get on the bar table I thought that I would stay. I didn't want to see you get hurt on your way home."

My pager went off and I jumped up to look at the page, "Is there any chance that you were drinking on call, doctor?" He asked sarcastically, "I'm not even on call tonight, Amelia is. I better see what's going on."

I started to walk out the door when I looked back, "You coming?" Tyler smiled and took my hand. We both went to the waiting room where a worried Addison, Sheldon, and Sam were waiting.

"Where were you?" Addison said when she finally noticed I was in the room. "I was nowhere." I sat down next to her and put my head on Tyler's shoulder. "Who's he?" Sheldon pointed at Tyler. "He's a friend, don't worry guys. I didn't go out and got drunk."

"What happened to your hand, then?" I jumped at the sound of her voice, I knew that voice belonged to Charlotte King. "I fell in the parking lot."

She knew I was lying and she immediately went to go get a banana bag from the storage closet. Addison looked at me and sighed, "Is this where your 'friend' came from?"

"Maybe," I said sitting up and looking at Lucas, Violet's son. She mumbled to herself as she held her hand up to her forehead.

"What's happening, why was I paged?"

"Pete had a heart attack. Amelia is sleeping in one of the on-call rooms and Sam is waiting for him to wake up."

I sat there with tears coming down my face slowly, "Why does it have to happen? To us?"

"I don't know."

I got up and walked out of the room and went outside for some air. Tyler followed me and asked if he could take me back to his place for the night. I told him yes because I thought that Amelia wouldn't want to see me after tonight. Especially after I got drunk and maybe danced on top of the bar table.

"I do have something that would make you feel better." Tyler said as we walked down the sidewalk. "What is it?" I asked thinking that it would be something stupid.

He pulled out a plastic baggie out from his coat pocket, in the bag looked like 20 pills. "You brought party stuff?" I asked sarcastically

"Only for you." He smiled and quickly put the baggie into my coat pocket. My phone was buzzing signaling that someone was calling me, I picked up my phone out of my other coat pocket and looked at the caller ID, Sam.

Sam and I have been best friends since I first came to the practice, I'm more like a sister than a friend to him to be honest. I let the call go to voicemail, I knew why he was calling. Addison must of told him about Tyler.

"Who was that?" Tyler asked, we both leaned against each other as we walked. "Just a friend. He was checking on me, they always do. Ever since my parents died, they are the only people I have left. Other than you."

"You want some of the good stuff now?" He bent down to the ground and pulled out a coffee mug and pulled me into an alley. I smiled as I watched him make the pills into powder. "Here, this is going to make you feel all better." He handed me a rolled up piece of scrap paper and I snorted the powder up my nose. Tyler did the same thing. We found a motel to camp out in, Tyler found some alcohol for us to drink as we hide.

I felt the drugs take over as I walked behind Tyler and put my hands around his waist. He smirked and then licked his lips.

We made love that night, not knowing what would happen if we kept on taking the drugs and drinking more. I decided that I was just going to stay there, in his arms. I felt safer there.