Set fire to the rain

Summary- Castiel may have made some mistakes but he's not the only one, with his intentions in the best place can Dean forgive him, Dean/Cas (spoilers for season 6-22)

Warning- Be aware there are SPOILERS within but as I haven't seen the whole of season 6 or the whole of the last episode yet either there may be some mistakes or inaccuracies but I wanted to write this before I watched it so I could think 'oh well this happens after'

A/N: this was originally a one shot but I think it's breeding a life of it's own so I am extending it to a multi chapter story.

XxxxXxxxX

He's pushed too far, pushed until breaking point and he's finally snapped under the pressure and that gentle look that had once caused his heart to swell has vanished behind a wall of indifference. He circles them and Dean is starting to feel a little more like prey than family, he considers that his own actions have led them here, because he could have helped, just once when he was asked he could of offered up his time to help the angel that had given everything for them.

"Well?" the voice is deep, it echoes and swells against the walls, burns into him. Blue eyes are on him and only him, they're deep, endless and Dean feels as if he's drowning because he can't fix this, doesn't even know where to begin.

"I'm sorry," he growls out and the angel continues to stare at him, through him, he reads his soul, the very imprint of his being, Castiel can see everything, he can hear the ticking of Sam's brain reeling off idea's on how to kill him, the angel smirks, hollow and empty.

"You two have been nothing but a disappointment to me," he lifts his hand, icy determination spreading across those shimmering eyes, there's a flicker and he clenches the appendage into a fist and just like that he's gone.

"Castiel! Cas!" he's screaming into the air, all but demanding that the angel return because they need to fix this, he needs to fix this, the angel doesn't return and he's not surprised, he looks over at his brother, to Bobby, there's a futility in their eyes and he can pinpoint every mistake he's made and every time he had turned the angel away.

The isolation grips tightly to his bones.

XxxxXxxxX

The soul's burn within him, they writhe, this is not a permanent fixture, this will likely kill him and yet there are things that he needs to do, there are wrongs that need to be made right and heaven cannot exist in the turmoil that swells within it. He drops to his knees, the snow beneath him is cold to the touch, Raphael's followers surround him, they move towards him carefully. He moves, stands to his full hight and extends his arms towards them, their eyes flicker, the brightest white, and they fall, drop to the snow covered floor like cement. He does not kill his brothers, he can't, but he sends them down to Earth, to begin anew, to learn humanity and how to love their faith once again. He groans into the ground, the blood dripping from his lips to the snow covered floor.

Castiel doesn't believe he has much left to live for any longer, yet this will be his legacy and though it may not be written, though the ones he love may not understand, it is his duty. Castiel will not be remembered for the sacrifices that he has made and there have been many over the decades.

He reserves himself, steels himself against the pain and the trepidation, Godliness is not for angels, angels cannot be God's.

He thinks back all these years, he thinks of Dean, he thinks of the hunter turning his back on him time and time again and there is no warmth in him now, it slips through the snow and his determination flourishes once again. Heaven must be restored and angel's must fall, only then will God return, when they have proved their love.

XxxxXxxxX

There is no lore on this, Dean has read every book he's scanned every text and every lead results in a dead end. He hasn't slept in days and he's prayed more times in the past week than he has in his entire life, he prays to Cas, he prays mostly to God, to the one that's forsaken them, to the only entity in the whole universe that can make any of this right.

He sees the angel in his sleep the deadly, dark eyed creature that had once been his angel, he's anger and betrayal personified, a look of pure hurt crossing his eyes and then the world burns beneath him, the angel's fall like stones and Dean tries to reach for him, it fades and the angel is trapped inside a ring of fire. He watches himself walk away, the sorrow that stings at the bright blue eyes and the determination that is bred in the following breath. He watches Castiel die for him over and over again, each and every time he walks away

"Of course, your problems always come first..."

Castiel kills him in his sleep, it's quick it's painless, and the indifference is sobering...

He doesn't want to lose Castiel...

He wakes in a sudden jolt checks his throat for the blood that should surely be there and yet there is nothing, there is no angel stood in the corner watching him from afar, there's no certainty that he's watching over him at all.

"You can't keep doing this Dean, there's other things we need to see to," Sam doesn't understand, he's not sure Sam will ever understand,

"It doesn't make sense Sam, it's not like Cas, this isn't him,"

"People change," he doesn't need to expand on that because they've both changed beyond belief, almost unrecognisable to each other these days.

"Not Cas, not like that, I know him Sam, he wouldn't go dark side," the younger Winchester doesn't look impressed,

"Power corrupts Dean, that much power, no one's immune to that,"

"He asked me for help, I was too busy to even listen, maybe I could have stopped all this if I had just listened to him for once, so tell me Sam, if I can't fix this now then what the hell good am I?" the younger is silent and Dean stares up at him eyes pleading, "just this one thing, after everything he's done for us, everybody deserves a second chance no more so than Castiel." He doesn't say anything just picks up a book and collapses in the seat by the fire, silently skipping through pages. Dean whispers a thank you, receives a nod in return and then they're back to silence, he owes this to the angel, if nothing else.

XxxxXxxxX

The angel is on his knees, the blood tumbling from his lips once again as he coughs to clear his throat, he's ravaged in this place and seen as a traitor and a hero all in one, he is jaded, all he has ever done is his best. He has gone above and beyond the call of duty and he's on his knees, praying one last time for a sign, for some sort of proof that it was all for the best that someone still cares. The souls are screaming inside of him, echoing in his head and he collapses onto the floor, the snow beneath him turns to grass even as his consciousness slips from him.

"You have been the most devoted of all..."

There is a hand on him, he feels the souls as they are set free from him, the burden easing from his very existence.

"There is more yet for you to see to, so much more to learn, you Castiel are my greatest legacy, this was not what I had planned for you,"

He knows the voice, he knows that hand that clenches his shoulder,

"I listen to you all, I feel for you all, prayers do not fall on deaf ears,"

The brush of lips crossing the top of his head,

"Save them all..."

XxxxXxxxX

When he wakes, his head aches far worse than when he drunk himself half to death, his body protests every slight movement that he makes. For an instance he feels human, he can feel everything, then he senses his grace, still fully intact if somewhat dimmed and he breathes a sigh of relief. His surroundings are unfamiliar, a hospital that much he can ascertain by the appearance. There's a constant beeping that he can hardly stand, seconds later the machine explodes and cuts off, ending the annoyance.

"Little bit extreme don't you think?" his eyes fall on the hunter, dressed in a suit leaning against the door frame, "how you feeling?"

"Just leave Dean," it's cold, commanding the hunter allows it to roll off of him as he enters the room, sitting in the seat beside the bed.

"No can do, told the nice people here that you're a wanted man, top of the FBI's list as a matter of fact and I'm the lucky agent who is watching over you, make sure you don't slip away." He smirks his trademark smirk and Castiel rolls his eyes,

"What do you want?" It's callous and he hisses as he moves to sit, glares at Dean when the other moves to assist,

"I uh, got a call, from Chuck of all people, wondered what had happened to that guy, said you'd be here, said you found God..." the angel smirks, dark and angry, "Cas I..."

"Told you so? Don't you dare," he's dangerous despite how frail he seems, Dean raises his hands and shakes his head,

"No Cas," it will always be 'Cas' no matter how angry they may be with each other no matter what happens, how far apart they are, how desperate, "I'm sorry, I wasn't there for you, I've never been there for you,"

"You think I want to hear this Dean? You didn't believe in me, you still don't, don't treat me like a fool, whatever we were we are nothing now." It's not like Castiel, not at all and Dean knows that he's angry, that he feels let down, betrayed, alone, all of the above.

"Shut up, you are the only person that I have always believed in, so yeah I might have got a little pissed off when you decided to go behind our backs, to Crowley of all people, what the hell were we meant to think with you sneaking around? I have never wanted to trust you more, I have never put so much faith in anyone and I should have listened to you, but you must have known what it would look like!" he's getting angry now his voice is rising and Castiel looks at him despairingly,

"What was I supposed to do? Tell me that Dean? If heaven burns you all burn, I wasn't prepared to let another apocalypse begin at Raphael's hands, sacrifices had to be made, I was willing to be that sacrifice." His eyes are bright, shimmering with a desperation that Dean can't quite understand.

"How far were you planning to go Cas?"

"I knew what I was doing?" Dean doesn't doubt it for a second, that the angel had every step planned, never once thinking about who else it might affect.

"So what Cas? You kill Raphael go up to heaven kick them all into shape and then die? What about us? What about me?"

"Not everything is about you Dean Winchester!"

There's a gentle knock at the door, a dark haired nurse slips into the room with a slightly confused look,

"Sorry, but if you could just keep it down a bit, we have other patients," She's staring at Castiel as though he has grown another head and he glares at her.

"I want to discharge myself," he all but growls, voice honey thick just as Dean remembers,

"That's ok sir... but I'll have to get a Doctor, we all thought you were um... well... brain dead,"

"Obviously not," he grumbles and she leaves the room, he starts tugging at the wires attached to him, pulling them from his flesh, "I'm leaving,"

"Where do you plan on going?" He slumps somewhat at the realisation, too weak to return to heaven, too drained to disappear and reappear miles away. "Let me fix this, at least try, I owe you that much Cas, even if you're not quite God," the angel smirks, watching as the droplets of blood tumble from his skin where he removed the needles.

"All that power, it's as much as a curse as a gift, I'm no God, I don't even know what I am any more, what I've become." Dean's hand falls on the dark haired males shoulder, grips tightly.

"We all make mistakes, you're not the first and you won't be the last." The angel seems unsure, sullen and confused and he's holding himself like a child would. "Come on, get changed and lets go, you look like you could do with some rest."

XxxxXxxxX

Castiel is out of it for the most part of the journey, slipping in and out of consciousness and it worries the hunter to the point where he is ready to turn around and head back to the hospital but Cas insists he'll be fine, he is still an angel after all. He glances at the other whilst he sleeps, slumped against the window, for a minute it's as though none of this has happened, as though he's his Castiel again.

"You know," the angel mumbles, slipping back into the world of the waking at the halfway point in their journey, Dean turns the radio down so that he can hear him. "He said that our prayers don't fall on deaf ears... did you pray for me..." he slumps against the window again and Dean ponders on the idea of God listening to him, picking up the phone and swooping in at the last moment to put everything back into place. He wants to ask Cas more, but he's unconscious again, groaning softly against visions that plague his mind.

He wonders the toll that all of this has taken on the dark haired male, how badly has it affected him.

When they arrive at Bobby's the hunter insists on helping Castiel to the door, the angel believes it's unnecessary but he is silently grateful for the assistance. It's hardly the welcoming of the century when they walk into the house, Bobby sits in the chair by the fire, he passes a glance at the two before returning his attention to the book in his lap.

"You look like hell," he grumbles, flicking pages, Sam enters from the hallway, he breezes past and Castiel is annoyed at how quick he is to judge. It's as though everything he ever did for them has been forgotten, pushed aside as if it didn't matter. Castiel is uncertain of them now and he can feel the glare that Dean shoots them both but why, what's the hunter trying to prove, that he was right all along, that they never had any reason to really doubt the angel? Of course they did, Castiel knew that what he did was wrong but what else could he have done and was it really any worse than anything any of them had done in the name of family?

XxxxXxxxX

Okies not sure how I am feeling about this right now, had a long break from writing or more like writers block that lasted forever so just getting back into the swing of things but I don't think it's where I want it to be so hopefully next chapter will be better,

I apologise for any mistakes but I really wanted to get this posted so that I can work on the next chapter, ^^

Thank you...