The ipod was already in the dock, as if waiting for someone to turn it on. She obliged, thinking that perhaps it would serve as a distraction. The soft strains that emerged from the speakers surprised her.
She looked so much like a lady,
But she was so much like a child
A devil when she held me close
An angel when she smiled
She always held it deep inside
But somehow I always knew
She'd go away when the grass turned green
And the sky turned baby blue
Baby blue
Was the color of her eyes
Baby blue
Like the Colorado skies
Like a breath of spring she came and left
And I still don't know why
So, here's to you and whoever
Holds my baby blue tonight
She brought color to my life
That my eyes have never touched
When she taught me how to care
I've never cared so much
I try not to think of her
But I fall asleep and do
And drift off where the grass is green
And the sky is baby blue
Baby blue
Was the color of her eyes
Baby blue
Like the Colorado skies
Like a breath of spring she came and left
And I still don't know why
So, here's to you and whoever
Holds my baby blue tonight
As the fading chords of the last chorus echoed through the room, she closed tear-filled eyes and felt her breath catch in her chest. The burning sensation that had become oh-so-familiar in the past few weeks bubbled to the surface. Bringing up a hand, she dashed the telltale moisture from her eyes. She prided herself on being self-contained; it wouldn't do for Christina or Mark to barge in and see her this way. It was doubtful that they'd break free of the hospital tonight, but it wasn't impossible.
What was impossible, she realized after a moment of struggling, was trying to keep everything that had happened today bottled up. Deciding that a temporary lapse in control now was better than a total mental break later, she let the sob that had been building up in her throughout the song break free. She pressed a fist to her mouth to stifle the sound of her heartbreak, the quaking of her shoulders the only outward indicator of her breakdown.
Lost in the moment, she didn't hear the quiet snick of the door opening until it was too late.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
She startled at the sound of the voice. Fantastic, she thought, mentally berating herself, so much for keeping it together. This was worse than being caught by Mark or Christina. After everything they'd put each other through in the past few weeks; the person kneeling in front of her was the last person she wanted to see through her shield of self-assurance.
Trying to swallow the lump in her throat, she wiped her eyes and threw a weak smile on her face. "Nothing." Seeing the disbelief on the other woman's face, she tuned up the smile "I'm good, I'm good."
The other woman sat back on her heels, seemingly unsure of how, or even whether to comfort the crying woman. She cocked her head, hair damp from the shower she'd just taken, waiting her out.
"It's just… the music," she said, indicating the ipod with a nod of her head.
"Oh." A momentary look of embarrassment flashed across the crouching woman's face; quickly masked with a self-conscious half smile. She had been so focused on the woman crying on the couch that the music hadn't registered. "Well, I knew you didn't like country – but I never knew the dislike was strong enough to make you cry." As she tried to joke, she stood and rapidly moved to turn off the ipod, which was halfway through another heart-wrenching song about lost love. She turned back to face the woman on the couch. "Normally I wouldn't go for that sort of thing either. In fact, I'm not even sure where this playlist came from. Maybe it's Christina's. A tequila-induced lapse in judge-"
"Callie," Arizona cut her off at the obvious lie, all too aware of how far off-track the Latina could get when she started rambling. "I'm sorry that I hurt you," she said in a small voice.
Callie furrowed her brow in surprise. She had felt horribly off-kilter, unsure of what to expect next, for most of the day. She certainly hadn't expected the day to end with a crying, apologetic Arizona on her couch. After all the stress of facing Mr. Clark, and then finding out so many of their friends were injured or gone, she had realized that nothing mattered, nothing would ever matter again, if she couldn't have Arizona. The blonde had then shocked her by vowing that she would have children with Callie.
Since their emotional kiss in the parking lot, everything had been surreal to Callie. She half expected to wake up at any moment to find that she'd been gunned down after all, and was merely having a morphine-induced fantasy.
After the kiss, she had helped Arizona ensure that all the kids were with their proper families, and then she had walked back home, holding onto Arizona's hand as if it were a lifeline. Perhaps it was. Certainly the past few weeks had been a meaningless blur. Her days were spent in the hospital, trying to lose herself in her cases. Her nights (when she couldn't pick up a shift or find another reason to stay at the hospital) were spent listening to songs that reminded her of Arizona and drowning her sorrows. Even Christina, heartbroken over Owen, was disgusted at the depths to which Callie had sunk.
They had walked to Callie's apartment in silence, both unsure of what to say after their emotional outpouring. For her part, Callie kept replaying Arizona's words over and over in her head. "I can't live without you and our ten kids…" kept segueing into "I don't trust you, why would I?"
Unlocking the front door with Arizona beside her, it felt like the first time all over again, unsure and awkward. Determined to bluff through the uneasiness, Callie had suggested a shower to wash away the day. Arizona had said she'd wait for her; not exactly the response for which the dark-haired woman had been hoping. Coming out of the bedroom after a quick shower to find Arizona in tears had brought Callie's barely concealed fears to the surface. Had Arizona changed her mind?
"It wasn't your fault," Callie said quietly, her eyes dull. "I don't trust you, why would I?"
"I was selfish," Arizona replied, eyes downcast. "I never understood squat about who you are. And now I do, and I don't like it."
"If I had made you feel special, if I hadn't been such a screw-up before, it wouldn't have been a problem."
At that, Arizona's head came up, her eyes flashing. "Don't think that, don't ever think that." She tried to meet the eyes of the dark-haired woman, but Callie was determinedly looking away, as if steeling herself for the worst. "So you have a past. Who doesn't? It's behind you, I'm the one who never got that." Arizona stood, moving toward Callie. "I like to think I'm secure, I mean, I'm hot … women lining up and everything, you know." Arizona's heart fluttered as an unwilling smile flitted across Callie's lips. "But with you, I've always been a bit out of my depth. You're passionate, in everything you do. You're so warm and open and I have a hard time believing that it's for real. That's my issue. You, you are great," Arizona stated, emphasizing the last three words.
Callie's eyes widened, as she remembered when she had spoken those same words, in the same loving tone to the blonde - the day Arizona had confessed her love. She finally made eye contact with Arizona, gasping softly at the love shining in those red-rimmed baby blue eyes. Callie felt tears welling up in her own eyes as Arizona closed the gap between them.
Eyes open and determined; Arizona brushed her lips lightly against Callie's, languishing in the familiar softness. Stepping closer, so that her body was flush against the taller woman's, she pressed her lips more firmly to Callie's, willing her to respond. Her whole body trembled when the taller woman opened her mouth with a soft sigh, raising her hands almost gingerly to hold Arizona's hips.
Arizona slid her tongue into Callie's mouth, delicately tasting her lover as her eyes devoured her face. The brush of Callie's long lashes on her cheeks, her soft dark hair tumbling around her face with abandon, the faint color high on her cheeks - she was the most beautiful thing Arizona had ever seen. The slide of Callie's tongue over hers almost brought her to her knees. This wasn't the kiss in the parking lot, full of searing heat and overwhelming relief. This was private, tender; this was a sharing of their souls.
Pulling back, Arizona slid her teeth gently over Callie's lower lip, drawing it into her mouth lightly before breaking away. She rested her forehead against Callie's, breathing heavily.
"I love you."
Callie's heart leapt. It was ridiculous how strongly the woman could affect her. She knew Arizona was waiting for a reply, waiting for reassurance, but she was lost in the feeling of being in the other woman's embrace again. Her slender hips beneath her hands, the feeling of her lithe body pressed against her own, the unique combination of orange blossoms and strawberry lip gloss filling her nostrils, overwhelming her senses.
"I had to try."
Arizona pulled back slightly, looking at Callie with a question in her eyes.
"I had to try to hate you. To make it all your fault. How was I supposed to get over you, the real you?" Callie grimaced. "I loved you too much, I loved everything about you, so I had to try to take some of you away. I had to try to make you less, so that I could pretend that I could live without you." Callie's voice cracked. "So that some day maybe I could pretend to be happy again."
Callie smoothed a hand along the side of Arizona's face, easing away the worry that had appeared at Callie's response to her declaration of love.
"I had to try, but it wasn't working." Callie's lips twisted into a rueful grin, "I was trying so hard to brush you off all day, when what I wanted more than anything was to just hold you. Like this," Callie said, sliding her hands from Arizona's hips to encircle her waist, drawing the blonde in closer.
Arizona unleashed her best 'super magic' smile, looking up at Callie through her lashes. "A simple 'I love you too' would have worked," she said, snaking her arms around the taller woman's shoulders, "But confessions like that are definitely likely to get me into bed faster." Her dimples deepened at the flush that rose up the other woman's neck. She bent to taste it, her tongue laving against the sensitive spot below Callie's jaw. "I mean, unless you think we need to talk more…"
Callie groaned, her head thrown back as Arizona licked and suckled her neck. She knew they still had a lot to work out, but it was impossible to think, let alone form words, when Arizona was doing that thing to her earlobe. She slid her hands lower, cupping Arizona's lush bottom, lifting her slightly against her. Callie's fingers slid daringly low on the blonde, brushing between her thighs from behind. She felt the slight pressure of the blonde's teeth marking her neck as Arizona's whole body jerked in response to her touch. Callie felt herself being spun around and backed toward the bedroom as Arizona's lips aggressively claimed hers in a hungry kiss. She moaned eagerly into Arizona's mouth, yielding as the blonde thrust her tongue hotly against her own.
Arizona lived for this, for the feeling she got when the fiery Latina yielded to her. She maneuvered Callie through the doorway, not relenting until they reached the bed. She broke the kiss as the back of Callie's knees hit the bed, growling in satisfaction as Callie twined fingers in her hair to try to tug her mouth back. She resisted Callie's efforts, reaching instead for the hem of her shirt.
Arizona slid her hands under Callie's shirt, palms smoothing over the soft skin beneath. Her hands stroked up Callie's sides, dragging the shirt up, and then impatiently pulling it over Callie's head. Callie laughed as the shirt caught briefly, tangled in her arms. The laugh quickly turned to a gasp as Arizona pressed open-mouthed kisses against her collarbone, her nimble fingers stroking the smooth satin of Callie's bra before releasing the front clasp.
Callie clung to Arizona as the blonde traced soft lips over the curve of her breast. She cried out desperately when she felt the wet heat settle over her nipple. Pangs of need shot through her as Arizona suckled her breast, adding to the heat already pooling between her thighs. She reached for Arizona, desperate to strip her, to feel her naked flesh, but again the blonde out-maneuvered her, pushing Callie down on the bed and capturing her seeking hands.
Arizona slithered up until she was face to face with her lover. She rested over the dark-haired woman, pinning a hand on either side of her head. "Look at me Calliope." Her breath caught as Callie's eyes fluttered opened, revealing eyes almost black with need. "See me."
Callie's gaze locked onto the sea of stormy blue above her. "I only ever see you," she whispered, "I love you." She saw possession in the fierce blue stare, and she welcomed it. "Kiss me." She arched upward, relishing the feel of the blonde's body entwined with hers. Her thigh lifted, slotting between Arizona's legs to press against her center.
"Kiss me Arizona," she repeated, knowing that her lover liked her to ask for it, "Make me yours again."
Arizona's control snapped. Bearing down on Callie's thigh, she renewed her assault on Callie's neck. She inhaled the intoxicating scent of Callie as she made her way down her body, drunk on the sensations after weeks of loneliness and heartache. She kissed her way between Callie's breasts, lightly sucking and nuzzling the sweet flesh. She cupped a full breast, her thumb stroking over the taut nipple. She felt Callie slide her freed hand across her back, trying to draw up her shirt. She reached back and captured the hand, placing it instead on her head. She slid her mouth up the slope of Callie's breast as the Latina obeyed her wishes, threading her fingers through Arizona's soft blond curls.
Lost in the sensations, Callie willingly lifted her hips as Arizona tugged her pants down and off. One hand still tangled in Arizona's hair, the other clutched at the sheet beneath her as she looked down her body at the blonde beauty. Sensing her gaze, Arizona looked up. Her eyes sparkled as she shot Callie a devilish grin before lowering her mouth to nuzzle against Callie's soaked panties.
Callie's used the hand in Arizona's hair to try to tug her closer as she writhed on the sheets. Her breath was coming in gasps, if she didn't focus it would all be over before Arizona even touched her. She screwed her eyes shut and caught her lower lip between her teeth.
She bucked her hips hard against Arizona as the blonde finally slid the panties out of her way and pressed her mouth against Callie. She cried out as she felt one delicate finger slip deep inside of her.
"You're so wet baby," Arizona mumbled, lips sliding up through Callie's heat as she curled her finger slightly, stroking Callie deeply.
"Arizonaaahhhhhh," Callie's cry became desperate as Arizona's gentle lips settled over her pulsing clit. "Please," she cried, moaning incoherently as she felt a second finger glide in alongside the first.
Arizona sucked lightly on her swollen clit, breaking free occasionally to allow her tongue to circle the delicate bud. She felt Callie's arousal gush over her fingers, the hot brunette jerking wildly beneath her. She smoothed her tongue through Callie's swollen folds before drawing back.
Callie's eyes snapped open, a disbelieving groan on her lips as Arizona settled over her, swallowing Callie's protests. Her fingers stroked in and out of Callie as she straddled Callie's thigh and pressed down hard. Tasting Callie's pleasure had made her desperate for pressure against her own hot center. She settled into a fast rhythm, rubbing against Callie's thigh, pinning her hand between them, her fingers sinking deeper into Callie with every stroke.
Callie could taste herself, mixed with the candied taste of strawberries that was Arizona. She writhed under her love, gasping at the roughness of Arizona's clothing against her bare flesh. Her heart raced out of control; her eyes were locked on Arizona as she felt herself being swept over the edge of reason. "I love you," she gasped against Arizona's lips, "I love you."
Arizona tensed over her, pushing down hard on her thigh as she felt Callie contract against her fingers. "Calliope!"
"Arizona?"
The blonde managed an inquisitive noise while keeping her face firmly buried in Callie's neck.
"Did you… I mean, did you?"
Arizona didn't answer, but Callie could feel the lips pressed against her neck curve upward into a satisfied smile.
A disbelieving smirk spread over Callie's face, "You still wearing your jeans. I mean, did you even take your shoes off?"
"Calliope Torres!" The blonde lifted her face, the tousled curls falling in her face unable to hide her blush, "After something like that, an appropriate response would include gratitude and/or offers of eternal servitude. Not criticism."
"Oh baby," Callie replied, grinning up at the embarrassed blonde, "Criticism is the furthest thing from my mind. I think it's super hot."
Arizona smiled, dimples in full force, "Super hot huh? That's more like it." She dropped a kiss on Callie's lips before sitting up, still straddling Callie. "I think you're super hot. In fact," she said, tugging her shirt over her head to reveal her satiny bra, "this time I may even let you play along."
Callie smirked up at the blonde, "Oh really?"
"Really," growled Arizona as Callie twisted her hips, rolling them so that she was straddling the half-dressed woman.
She gasped as her bra was pushed aside and Callie's hot mouth settled over her aching breast. "Calliope?" she moaned.
"Hmmm?" Callie hummed against her breast.
Arizona's eyes fluttered as she tried to keep her train of thought. "I'm sorry that I made you listen to country music."
