Absolution

As Hollum climbed up to the quarter deck, the scent of the sea teasing his nose, he spotted Blakeney on watch just beyond the starboard rail. Stepping up to the young midshipman, he tapped gently on the boys shoulder. Blakeney whirled in surprise, but calmed when he saw who it was. "Mr. Hollum!" Blakeney gasped before his lips curling into a pleasant smile. "You gave me quite a start."

Smiling in return, Hollum nodded at what Blakeney said, lifting a hand to wipe away the remnants of sweat from his brow. "You feeling better now?" Blakeney asked in concern, his eyes meeting Hollum's.

That was indeed question. Was he feeling better? Yes, he supposed he was. He was going to find absolution that evening. Thoughts of his own failures, of his indecision and lack of leadership skills all faded from mind. He did not see the glares and withering looks of the crew. Nor did he see the animosity and resentment in Nagle's eyes. What he did see was a beautiful starry night sky and a wide ocean before him.

"Yes," he finally responded to the young midshipman's question, "much better thank you." He glanced at the boy and the feeling of gratefulness was brought home to him then. Here was the only person aboard the Surprise who had made him feel welcome, appreciated, and yes, even slightly respected, however unworthy he was of such a sentiment.

Blakeney smiled again before turning his back on Hollum, not out of spite, but more to fulfill his duty, to stay alert and on watch as he was bade to do. However, Hollum stood awhile, glancing at the boy as he slowly removed his hat from his head. "Captain thinks we'll get our wind tomorrow," Blakeney commented, his eyes out upon the sea. "I'm sure of it," Hollum responded quietly, almost to himself. He let his eyes wander to the deck, to the shot near his foot. He lifted it up, leaving his hat upon the deck. The shot was hard and cold; the weight of it pulling at the muscles in his arms.

"You've always been very kind to me," he murmured, capturing the boy's attention as he turned once more to listen attentively to Hollum. Their eyes met, and for a moment, just for that one moment, Hollum truly questioned what he was about to do. However, the weight that was pulling hard upon his muscles drew his thoughts away. "Goodbye, Blakeney," he spoke quietly, his voice already a ghost, a shadow of what once was.

As Hollum climbed up the rail to walk clear overboard, his coattails flying up after him, he felt for that one long moment in which he was suspended between the sky and the water, he felt a surreal sense of calm before he plunged down into the water, the weight of the shot that he held in his hands pulling him ever downward into that netherworld of deep blues, echoes, and nothingness.

The crew was rid of their Jonah, and he was rid of his own awkward existence. He was free…

Le Fin