Fuck Artie and his shit. This is happening.

"Er, Robert? You're doing the weird narration thing again. What's happening? And what do you mean fuck me and my shit?!" Keep you knickers on, Artie! I mean, it's not like I offended you! Heh :D

"We, dear brother, are throwing... A PARTY!" *dances*

"Like hell you are, Robert. You always mess the house up, and need I remind you of what happened last time you had a party?" God, you burn one house down and it bites you in the arse for the rest of your life! No one died!

"Er, what did I do?" Must have been awesome, I can't remember! :D

"I'll give you a hint, it involved Prussia, Denmark and the Netherlands."

"Dude, that's way too vague. When doesn't the stuff I do involve Prussia, Denmark and Netherlands?" Well, there was that one time with Mexico and Portugal, but that's a story for another time.

"You seriously don't remember? Here, look at these!" He grumbled, throwing a photo album at me. Heh, the title of the album is 'Scotland's times of drunkardness'. So English, Artie. You could have just called it 'Those times when Scotty gets pissed off his arse', or something like that...

"The photos you're looking for are 4 pages in."

"Knew it!" I said, turning to said page.

"Oh, that time." He just can't let this go, can he? We didn't steal or break anything!

"Obviously it's that time!"

Gather 'round, children, and I shall tell you that tale of what happened during the last party.

So Netherlands came over, and he had these brownies...

Do I really need to continue?

Anyway, skipping to the part after the brownies, the four of us might have broke into and slept in the Tower of London. I don't know how or why we were there, it just happened!

Artie was super pissed, as you can imagine. So pissed, in fact, that he banned me from ever having a party. Ever. And I was all like 'Pfft, whatever, you're not my dad!', which resulted in him yelling at me. Stupid Artie.

"That was an accident! It won't happen again!" I promised. Heh, even Artie knows it will.

"You're damn fucking right it won't, because you're not having a party." That's unfair. We didn't pull a Moriarty and prance around rocking out to some song like 'Das my song!' whilst we wore the crown jewels. We just slept there!

"Well, screw you!" I yelled, running up to my room. I know it looks like a teenage rant, but I'm up here for a reason!

"Oh, grow up Robert!" Artie shouted up the stairs.

"And a happy Reichenbach to you too!" Cue pathetic crying in Three. Two. One...

"THAT IS NOT OKAY!" He bawled. Did I raise this kid wrong or something?!

Ignoring the daft excuse I have for a brother, I need my laptop! Where did I put you, Merida?!

What, so I call my laptop Merida. Have you seen Brave?! She's bad ass!

I swear to god, if Trevo is using it to troll again, I'll beat him with it. I'll check to see if he has it. If he doesn't, David's probably using it to watch sheep documentaries or something.

"Trevo, have you got my- what the hell are you doing?" Is he seriously doing what I think he's doing?

"Oh, hi Robbie! I was pwning noobs on the Xbox, why?" Bet you all thought he was getting better acquainted with his right hand, huh? Bad people. Heh, at least I raised this one right.

"No reason, I just can't find my laptop anywhere!"

"I know where it is!" The fuck?! And he didn't tell me? *facepalm*

"Well then, where is it?"

"David has it! He's skyping Estonia!" How long have they been friends?

"Thank you Trevo, you get a cookie now." Maryland to the FACE! Ahahahaha. To David's room we go!

"Wait Eduard, what does OTP mea-" Did he seriously just ask that? Hello! I'm on Tumblr, David! I know these things!

"David, I need my laptop."

"Can it wait? Eduard is teaching me how to use Tumblr." I'm gonna rage quit life soon. I'M ON TUMBLR, DUMB ASS!

"Wait. EDUARD! Is Feliks there?!" I yelled, throwing David onto the floor and hopping in front of my laptop.

"Hello to you too, Scotland. Yes, Poland is here, shall I get him?" Did I not just say hello? I yelled his name, isn't that enough!

"Well if you wouldn't mind." Pulling out ALL the sass!

"POLAND! SCOTLAND IS ON SKYPE AND WISHES TO SPEAK WITH YOU! NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WANTS! GET DOWN HERE! WELL, GET SOME CLOTHES ON THEN! I'M SURE YOU LOOK FINE! I DON'T CARE WHAT LITHUANIA IS DOING! I REALLY, REALLY DID NOT NEED THAT IMAGE, FELIKS! JUST GET DOWN HERE! He's coming now, Scotland. I apologize for all the screaming." What the fu- I don't want to know.

"Hey Robbie! What do you want? I was totes busy with Liet!" Yeah, I heard -_-

"I'm throbbing a party. This weekend. Spread the news, my gossiping friend!" Artie can suck it.

"Like, really? Awesome! I'll get the news to everyone I know! I'll need a new outfit! And new shoes!"

"Bring Polish Vodka, Feliks! Robbie out, bitches!" I said, flipping the webcam off as I left the room.

"ROBERT! GET YOUR BLOODY ARSE DOWN HERE NOW!" Shit. Baby brother does not sound happy.

"I didn't do it!" I yelled after parkouring my way down the stairs and into the living room.

"You are not having a party." Feliks the gossip queen, what can't you do? :D

"I won't wreck your house this time! And I promise I won't leave, unless it's to buy alcohol or food!" God, having to make promises to him, like a damn teenager. I'm older than he is!

"I swear on my life, Robert, if you break one thing, or go anywhere near any of my landmarks or monuments, I will make you wish Hadrian had built his wall higher!" Holy crap, so angry -_-

"Fine! You can even invite your friends too. You know, Romania and Norway!" Hmm, Romania. Pretty Romania. What, I'm straight!

"You will not have sex wih them, Robert." Fuck! Er, I mean, I didn't want that anyway!

"Well fuck you, you great big bag of dicks!" Heheh, that image is funny. A big bag full of tea drinking, magic believing, book reading dicks ;)

"Wait, what?"

"NOTHING!" I yell, hopping out of the room. Wait, not hopping. That gives you the mental image of a big tartan bunny hopping away. Bunnies aren't manly!

*wildtimelordappearsandzapsusthroughtime;)*

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE ALCOHOL, ARTIE! THE PARTY IS STARTING IN 3 HOURS! WE HAVE NO BOOZE!" I'm pretty frickin' pissed, guys. Artie didn't buy the alcohol. You can't have a good party without alcohol. Well, unless you're like, 8 and have J2O for the first time. Heh, silly 8 year olds acting drunk.

"Calm yourself, Robert. You said you were going out to by the alcohol, remember?" I pulled a face like 'Bitch, you serious?!'

"Did I really, Artie?! Or are you just being an arsehole and not buying me booze because you're a lightweight and don't want people to see you drunk?" It's definitely option number two. I mean, Trevo can hold his alcohol better than Artie can. Unless it's Saint Patrick's Day. Oh God, so much green vomit. *shudders*

"Stop complaining and go to Tesco for alcohol yourself. Take David with you, he hasn't seen daylight since he made that damn Tumblr account." And Artie thinks taking him to Tesco will keep him off Tumblr? Is he that stupid?

"Fine, I need your keys then." Keys, keys, where are you?! Damn car keys, always getting lost. It's a pain in the arse!

"You are not taking my car." Pfft, am so.

"Whatever. DAVID! GET YOUR DRAGON LOVIN' SELF DOWN HERE! WE'RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!" I screamed up to David (obviously!).

"COMING!" He yelled back, running down the stairs.

"Do not take my car, Robert. I mean it. Take the bus instead." The bus? THE BUS?! Fuck that. I always have the creeper sitting next to me like 'Hey, wanna see my skin collection?' :/

"Letsa go, David!" Mario is so cool. Climbing through pipes, saving princesses like it's nothing.

"Okay Robbie, how are we getting there? Artie said we can't take his car." David asked me when we'd left the house.

"Fuck da police, lookie what I got!" I grinned, swirling Artie's keys around my finger.

"Get your arse in the car before he notices!" We crash dived into the car and started to drive away.

"This car smells like old. Even the radio is old! Put on a good station, David." Seriously, this car smells like old. David flicked through the channels until I made him stop.

"And I keep it in a bag, in a box, put an 'X' on the floor, gimme more, gimme more, gimme more, shut up and sing it with me!" Damn, I sing like an angel. Umft, Castiel. Dat Angel, am I right? ;)

"You know we've been sat outside Tesco for about five minutes now, right?" Did we really spend that much time looking for a good radio station?! Ah well.

"Outta the car, David." We parked close to the shop, awesome! :D

Wait, I can smell cheap cider and cigarettes.

Oh Crap.

Chavs.

"So I was fingering this girl outside last night, but I just broke up with her mate, and I think she wants my D!" One of them said. Ima call him 'Mr Nob' because, well, he looks like a bit of a nob.

"Such bullshit." David muttered to me, making me laugh.

"The fuck you sayin', mate?!" Mr Nob yelled. Classy person.

"Nothing that concerns you, okay." David said calmly.

"You fucking startin', you ginger dick?!" Pfft, ginger dick. Never heard that one before.

"I got this, David. I speak Chav. Right you wankers, you leave our Dave alone, or I'll ram your head through a pub window while I give your mum one." I said proudly, before grabbing a laughing David's arm and sprinting into Tesco. What?! Chavs are scary!

"That was genius, Robbie!" He giggled like a lil' bitch.

"I know. Now, what booze shall we get, dear brother?"

*damntimelords,alwaystakingusintothefuture*

"ARTIE! We're back!" With an obscene, liver destroying amount of alcohol!

"YOU TOOK MY CAR YOU SH-"

"Artie, be a dear and help me get this shit in the kitchen, there's a hella crazy number of bags in your car."

This is going to be fricking awesome! :D