Groping Is Serious!

This is a compilation of all my fav SP pairings! XD This is kinda serious, like in an evil way; but it's also screwy too. Take it as you want! Sorry about the shortness! ^^;


Kenny would never tell anyone what he loved the most. No, it wasn't girls or sex; surprisingly. He admired this thing everyday, wishing and craving it. It was so big and growing everyday! When no one was looking he drooled over the beauty of this huge mass...If only he could touch it, but doing so would cause his immediate death. Everyday the urge grew stronger, his hand itched to grab and squeeze his love. The problem was his love belonged to someone else, truly it belonged to two others as well. He knew they all wanted it as bad as he did...He wouldn't give up anything to them. Anything.

Stan sighed sadly, his favorite thing wasn't around today. Kyle was here, but that was only to make sure of his intentions. His 'friend' was an fucking idiot; Kyle didn't realize that he was after his beloved too. It might have belonged to him, but it wasn't always in his possession. Stan smirked evilly and ate his sandwich. Oh one day, he would win his prize...No one was going to stop him. No one.

Kyle scanned his surroundings. Stan would help him protect what was his, he was his best friend. He owned what they all wanted, but couldn't touch. It was a sacred object, like the Torah was to his people. Hell, he even carved his name into it! He couldn't trust anyone, not even his friends...Stan was a threat, and he needed to be destroyed-No, he's my best friend. He wouldn't steal from me...Right? Right.

Wendy watched Kyle space out; completely ignoring the threat near him. She hated how Kyle had what she didn't, no one showed her up! She was Wendy Testaburger, and no one fucked with her! She growled and squeezed the milk bottle. It was lust, pure lust driven towards the object. She wasn't worried, Kyle would slip up soon; then she would swoop down and pull it out from under his nose. She chuckled madly; Bebe scooted away from the power-driven crazy bitch.

Cartman wondered what the fuck was up with everyone...All they did all day was stare at him! It creeped him out badly. The halls stayed quiet until the bell rang. Suddenly, he was bombarded with Stan, Kenny, and Wendy. Before he could ask what they wanted, he felt them all grope his ass like it was the only thing to live for...He shrieked and knocked them all off. He slowly backed up, and they all got closer and closer...Cartman was about to freak out, when Kyle slid in front of him.

In a matter of minutes, all of them were knocked out or limping away. Cartman was going to ask Kyle about the situation; but he was cut off. Kyle felt the need to announce what was his: He grabbed Cartman's ass and yelled in a possessive fashion: (a la 'Lois') "THIS IS MINE! THIS IS WHAT I SCREW EVERY NIGHT!" He growled and dragged Cartman out. Poor Cartman was so brain-dead he couldn't walk; he was stuck on what just happened.

Stan, Kenny, and Wendy moped away crying. They had lost their cherished object of desire...

Later, Clyde had walked by wondering if he missed his love object too...He was promptly beat up by the other three...