The journey back from Brecon Beacons was awkward to say the least. Gwen had gone straight to hospital and Owen had volunteered to go with her, this left Jack, Ianto, and Toshiko in the SUV. Jack drove, a little more carefully than normal, and the other two sat at the back, for comfort according to the Welshman. Tosh was dropped off at her flat first leaving the two men in the car. They didn't say a word until Jack parked outside Ianto's flat. Jack got out slamming the door shut behind him, and opened the other door for Ianto.
"Come on," Jack helped the injured man out of the SUV and got him up to his flat, a place he had visited many times during Ianto's suspension after the cyberwoman incident, "Mind if I come in for a bit?" Ianto gestured for him to enter the simplistic flat. Jack walked into the living area and watched as the young man slowly lowered himself onto the couch, before sitting next to him, "How are you feeling? Do you want me to make you some coffee?"
Ianto scoffed, "No offence Jack your coffee isn't great, and I'm fine, you don't have to stay."
"Ianto please don't do this again."
"Do what?" He tried to fake ignorance. He failed.
"You said after… after my last visit that you'd talk to me."
"There's nothing to say," was the quiet reply.
"Tell me how you felt, how you feel now," he was almost pleading the man to talk to him, to let him in.
"You really want to know how scared I was? How much pain I'm in? How relieved I was when you saved me, again? And how all I see when I close my eyes is that knife against my neck?" Jack could see the tears threatening to fall from the other man's eyes, and pulled him into a tight hug.
"Ianto it's fine to be scared, hell I'd be worried if you weren't," Jack placed a soft kiss in Ianto's hair, "I was scared to you know. Thought I was going to lose you all," the men sat in silence for a while, Jack still had his arm around Ianto's shoulders while the latter leant into him, "There's one thing I don't understand though. Why did you lie?"
Ianto moved away from him, genuinely confused, "Lie? About what?"
"You said Lisa was the last person you kissed. Why?" Ianto looked away, "Are you just going to pretend nothing happened between us?"
"I think you should go," Ianto said standing up and walking behind the couch, he stopped to see Jack already standing in front of him.
"Ianto, please," Jack was definitely pleading now.
"You didn't say anything either!" He shouted, "And what happened was nothing," he added quieter.
Jack took a step forward. Ianto took one back. "Do you regret it? Are you ashamed of it?" His voice was void of any emotion. Ianto let his gaze drop for a second, before it returned to the man in front of him, "Or did you just want to make us feel guilty for killing the remains of your girlfriend?" His tone turned almost harsh.
"Ok, you want me to talk I will. Yeah I am a little ashamed, and knowing I made you feel guilty is kinda like an added bonus," his words came out a bit louder and faster than he had intended, he took a breath and added, "But no, I don't regret it."
"You don't need to be ashamed, you didn't do anything wrong," his voice was softer now as he rested his hands on Ianto's hips, "We could be amazing Ianto, if you let us."
"I can't Jack," The immortal could sense the battle going on in his head.
"Let yourself be happy. Do this because you can, because it makes you feel good. You need it, we both do." Jack pulled the Welshman a bit closer, and moved his right hand from his hip and slowly slid it into the waistband of Ianto's jeans. He smiled as the younger man closed his eyes, "Don't come to work tomorrow, you should rest," Jack removed his hand, "Think about what I said," Ianto heard the front door close, and he opened his eyes. Jack had gone.
"Cold shower," Ianto said voice cracking, before making his way to the bathroom.
This idea has been annoying me for ages, and after CoE I need lots more Janto to make me feel better. Wasn't planning on posting but I thought might as well, otherwise it will just be gathering dust on my computer.
Reviews are love :)
